#6081 ⇧ (3) ⇩
< chaos95> Bucket: who's on first?
< Bucket> Yes.
< chaos95> bucket: I mean the fellow's name.
< Bucket> Who.
< chaos95> Bucket: The guy on first.
< Bucket> Who.
< chaos95> Bucket: The first baseman.
< Bucket> Who.
< chaos95> bucket: I mean the fellow's name.
< Bucket> Who.
< chaos95> Bucket: The guy on first.
< Bucket> Who.
< chaos95> Bucket: The first baseman.
< Bucket> Who.
< letusgothen> O.O
< chaos95> wow he really does know it
#6079 ⇧ (8) ⇩
<Antipathy> my dvd burner just killed a spider
<Antipathy> my computer is facing a wall right now
<Antipathy> and my dvd finished burning right as a spider crawled past
<Antipathy> smoosh
#6078 ⇧ (13) ⇩
FsMobile: Carmen Sandiego is fucking amazing, she can steal the god damn statue of liberty and make it to fucking peru with only like 6 actual witnesses
#6077 ⇧ (12) ⇩
<@mewyn> Myspace is for underage girls and bands, and people who want to be in one of the two.
#6076 ⇧ (10) ⇩
< SmilinBob> Why won't sims3 let me flirt with the children?
#6075 ⇧ (3) ⇩
< hurristat> goodbye
< Bucket> Nooo! Don't leave me here with these losers!
< retaihec> Bucket: Hey now.
< Bucket> YOU'RE AN ALL-STAR
#6074 ⇧ (13) ⇩
coreycubed: so I know this couple irl in a long distance relationship (they don't come in here) who stay up until midnight MWF to read xkcd together and think that khmer is some sort of man-god from his xkcdb exploits
coreycubed: I wonder what this is going to do for their eventual marriage?
relsqui: you should get them in here to learn the terrible truth
lingrush_: Khmer is a man god?
khmer: oh, this is a mistranslation
khmer: from the time that i got pelted with mangoes for telling a fart joke
khmer: i was mango'd
khmer: easy mistake to make
#6073 ⇧ (12) ⇩
<@mewyn> 40,000,000,000,000bacteria1cup
#6072 ⇧ (0) ⇩
<feureau> I'm bored with kickbans
* billygoat sets mode: +b *!feureau@*.41523448.3750274E.IP
* feureau was kicked by billygoat (Jackpot!!!)
#6071 ⇧ (7) ⇩
<&lingrush> Yeah, I can never get it up when I'm doing coke
<snark> lingrush: even diet coke?
<OcularElm> snark, they only call it that when they give it to models.
#6070 ⇧ (11) ⇩
<letusgothen> Is Poiesis around?
* Poiesis (~Poiesis@hide-5AD2DFAF.hsd1.ca.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
<letusgothen> :|
<letusgothen> That was... surreal.
<IceKarma> letusgothen, whoa, that's the fastest summoning I've ever seen
#6066 ⇧ (1) ⇩
<heero> billy mays vs billy west vs adam west vs adam savage
#6065 ⇧ (6) ⇩
OcularElm: HeyLuke, your thumb would work better.
HeyLuke: for what?
Bucket: Internal use, mostly.
Madzilla: thats what she said
Bucket: No, that's what HE said.
#6062 ⇧ (6) ⇩
< Lev> man, imagine if skynet BSODed - microsoft would be HEROES
#6061 ⇧ (21) ⇩
FsMobile: no, you see, billy Mays saw the 3 dead celebs and said
Bryan: don't do that joke FsMobile
FsMobile: "BUT WAIT! theres more! Ill throw in 33% more ABSOLUTLY FREE"
FsMobile: Bryan: it was too late to turn back
#6059 ⇧ (1) ⇩
<OcularElm> I had cybersex once it was with a chinese panda. You can guess how it went.
<Lev> I really can....'t
<OcularElm> It just looked into the webcam and chewed on it's bamboo.
<OcularElm> You know how hard it is to get a panda interested in sex?
#6056 ⇧ (15) ⇩
<lingrush> snarkity snark snark
<@snark> lingrushity lingrush lingrush
<@snark> Buckety bucket
<Bucket> Stop it with that cutesy shit.
<@snark> D:
#6054 ⇧ (5) ⇩
<fantasyprone> Bucket: snark is mean
<Bucket> fantasyprone: I already had it that way
#6053 ⇧ (11) ⇩
* Bucket (bucket@hide-5D10B81C.peeron.com) has joined #cybersex
<&lingrush> Bucket?
<Bucket> I eat babies
<Antipathy> BUCKET
<Antipathy> I LOVE YOU
* Bucket (bucket@hide-5D10B81C.peeron.com) has left #cybersex
<snark> ...dude shows up... eats babies... and leaves
<snark> classy
<&lingrush> Bucket is a classy guy.
#6052 ⇧ (13) ⇩
<Antipathy> my theory of food in my room: leave it here long enough, and it stops being "gross" and starts being "Science"
#6051 ⇧ (31) ⇩
<creature> Supermarkets sell what people buy. If more people bought artisan bread, then more people would sell it.
<khmer> creature: well to be fair, the true cost of artisanal bread doesn't scale the same as industrial bread
<khmer> creature: it's too expensive to make!
<Frowardd> oh my god
<Frowardd> bread economics?
<Wes> hey, every once in a while even a topic about bread has to rise
<khmer> i don't think it's too upper-crust of me to put it in these terms
<Frowardd> anyway you slice it, bread is bread
<creature> Wes: it's a conversation that kneads to happen now and again.
<XanT> Bread is very important!
<Wes> bread is singlehandedly responsible for the civilization of humanity
<khmer> it's just what i loaf to talk about
<Frowardd> I am loafing this conversation
<khmer> i'm sorry if i'm being a heel about it
<khmer> i just love to go against the grain
<letusgothen> Wes, true: It has been a foundation of human culture in the Yeast and the West
<creature> khmer: You've got to dough what you think is best.
<thaycs> oh goodness
<Frowardd> don't go off half-baked
<khmer> or you're toast
<Wes> I think this conversation has really begun to flour
<TehLaser> Just don't loaf around.
<khmer> before i kick your buns out of here
<Wes> You guys are on a roll!
<creature> Don't try to butter us up.
<Frowardd> and this is just the preheat
<letusgothen> You'd butter watch yourselves, or this could get out of hand.
<khmer> a roll? this is a naan-starter
<XanT> BAGELS
<thaycs> it appears the channel has been sandwiched in.
<khmer> you guys have to challah back at yeast!
<NotSure> c-c-c-combo-breaker
<Wes> This has turned into a pan-demic
<khmer> otherwise you've got no proof
-!- NotSure was kicked from #xkcd by creature [Unthinking use of memes.].
<mouse> that just bagels the question
<khmer> and i'll shorten your leashes
<creature> He was a pita.
<thaycs> khmer: matzoh matter with you?
<letusgothen> Just because you roti that doesn't mean it's true
<Wes> I think i'll just be leaven it alone
<khmer> thaycs: i just can't seem to bag-it
<Frowardd> thaycs, might be simit he ate?
<TehLaser> khmer: baguette?
<creature> Donut provoke the ops.
<Geekthras> khmer: you're getting worse at this you crusty old coot
<khmer> i don't know what those words spelt, but that's not the question i flaxed you
<Wes> Now seed here!
<khmer> no, YOU seed here
<khmer> YOU ARE ENTERING A WORLD OF PAIN
<letusgothen> We're speaking French now?
<Wes> Mais oui, mas co-pain
<Wes> pardon my french
<godawful> Speaking french is just croissant the line
<letusgothen> Speaking French only leads to everyone gluten unhappy
<Frowardd> I lahoh'd
<khmer> well then, once more into the brioche i guess
<Wes> Hey, yeast may be the only culture the french have
<Geekthras> Heel, buchet
<khmer> don't be sour
<thaycs> we're all oven a laugh now
<Geekthras> rye are we doing this again?
<letusgothen> Don't use unleavened arguments, it makes you look silly
<Frowardd> try to just understand and malawach
<khmer> fuck you, cracker
<Wes> That's just crumby
<Frowardd> desem strong words, khmer
<mouse> C-C-C-Croissant breaker
<letusgothen> wheat's going on!?
<natjo> speaking of crackers i love ritz and spray cheese
* TehLaser breaks bread with mouse.
<Frowardd> letusgothen, aish merahrah my bazlama
<TehLaser> All of you, go jump in a cake.
<Frowardd> it's a typical fougasse
<Wes> What, and be stranded in a dessert?
<Overflow> isn't there an application that auto-fills some stuff in the character sheet according to D&D 4e without me going through the whole PHB
<Frowardd> Overflow, we are talking SERIOUS WORDS here. We will submit you to the pain de campagne
<khmer> i love the idea that "to the pain" actually meant that wesley and humperdinck would, like, thumbwrestle, and then share some toast
<khmer> "first we will slice the baguette!"
<khmer> "yes, yes, and then toast it.."
<khmer> "NO! the toaster we will leave...ALONE!!!"
#6049 ⇧ (3) ⇩
< Queen_Sarah> for example, my laptop runs MacOS
< Queen_Sarah> (partly because i have a BSD fetish)
< Queen_Sarah> i can't get off without my red devil catsuit
#6048 ⇧ (2) ⇩
<Spork> The last NDA I had to sign, I had to certify that I wasn't a citizen of Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, North Korea, or China.
<relsqui> Spork: I totally read "Iowa" on that list
#6047 ⇧ (16) ⇩
< Spork> Halfway through, the casket pops open, and Michael Jackson jumps out, and starts doing the Thriller dance.
< sheepbat> hahahahha
< Bucket> You think that's FUNNY?! You sick FREAK!
#6046 ⇧ (8) ⇩
Lingrush: I keep thinking Royall is Randall still
Royall: HURR DURR I WRITE COMICS
#6043 ⇧ (5) ⇩
< rivalarrival> SophieWorks: dd if=sda1 of=sdb1
< Bucket> "Dd Ifsda1 Ofsdb1" would make a good name for a band.
#6039 ⇧ (15) ⇩
<FsMobile> coming into #xkcd and expecting sanity is like going to a nudist beach and expecting modesty
<Teknobo> I was going to say it's like going to a nudist beach and expecting a ten-foot tall tyrannosaur to teach you ballet
#6037 ⇧ (30) ⇩
< Dekoa> So anyone know any good myths to send into Mythbusters?
< sparrow> Dekoa: Is it possible to get aids from a blood sucking animal
< Dekoa> Sparrow, I don't think I'd like to give Jamie or Adam AIDS or any of the build team.
<@relsqui> don't be silly
<@relsqui> they'd test it on the dummy
< Dekoa> ...
< Dekoa> How can you give an inanimate object HIV?
<@relsqui> possibly with a bloodsucking animal. find out next week, on mythbusters!
#6036 ⇧ (26) ⇩
< lingrush> Lev: COME NOW
< Lev> unggghhhh
< Lev> ohhh yeahhh
< lingrush> Oh gosh, I didn't mean to do that
< Lev> I'm... I'm sorry
< Lev> that's never... I don't usually....
< Lev> I'm really sorry
* sparrow hands Lev a towel
< Lev> thank you
* Lev bashfully mops up
* Lev hands the towel back
< sparrow> :\
< sparrow> no
#6033 ⇧ (5) ⇩
<luff> Hot dogs are the tastiest phallic image that i have ever eaten.
#6031 ⇧ (6) ⇩
< quit> Say old chaps, I'm interested in reading a good book regarding the subject of "PHYSICS". Is there any in particular you'd recommend?
< Bucket> Old chaps, I'm interested in reading a good book regarding the subject of "PHYSICS". Is there any in particular you'd recommend!
< Overflow> ...
#6030 ⇧ (22) ⇩
< FsMobile> natjo: its the rule of 3s, 3 minutes with no air, 3 days with no water, 3 weeks with no food
< Overflow> 3 years without sex
< AKX> 3 seconds without internet
#6029 ⇧ (2) ⇩
< Frowardd> BUCKET, RANDALL IS A SILICON ARMADILLO LEFT TO ROT ON THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
-!- mode/#xkcd [+b *!imBROglio@*.comcast.net] by billygoat
-!- Frowardd was kicked from #xkcd by billygoat [5-minute autokill]
< Bucket> Okay, Frowardd.
#6028 ⇧ (2) ⇩
<d4s> I'm not sure where I went, how long I was gone, how it happened or how I got back
<&GreenWoman> Is that like the getting naked thing?
#6027 ⇧ (20) ⇩
<@Brain> Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
<Bucket> Yes, Brain, but where can we find nine Soong-type androids at 3am?
#6026 ⇧ (8) ⇩
<Antimony-120> I'm confucious, I kant seem to locke onto what hume are talking about
#6025 ⇧ (14) ⇩
<Vulcanis> so, XKCD
<Vulcanis> I need your combined knowledge
<Bucket> Bananas!
#6024 ⇧ (26) ⇩
cntrational> so guys
< Bucket> Hush, cntrational is about to tell a story! I hope there's nudity.
< cntrational> ...
< Bucket> [khmer silently removes his pants]
#6023 ⇧ (18) ⇩
<snark> Bucket: literal groundchuck
<Bucket> Please rephrase your question in the form of a cheeseburger.
#6021 ⇧ (4) ⇩
* Simen (simen@hide-4BA45C43.dhcp.bluecom.no) has joined #xkcd
<quit> Really?
<Bucket> yes really!
<Simen> No way!
<Bucket> Norway
<Simen> I hate you, Bucket :(
<@snark> Simen: see, Bucket knows where you are.
<Bucket> I wish I could hate you to bald.
<@snark> he even knows the number of hairs on your head.
<@snark> which apparently is not many.
#6020 ⇧ (-6) ⇩
<Maximinus> but yes, keyboard fail
<xParatus> unlikely
<xParatus> i suspect operator failure
<Maximinus> one of the reasons I ditched this laptop in favour of a new one is that its keyboard is dodgy
<xParatus> PEBKC
<xParatus> ID10T
<xParatus> Layer 8 issue
<xParatus> oh fuck
<xParatus> PEBKAC
<xParatus> fuck fuck fuck
<xParatus> i have failed spectacularly
#6019 ⇧ (7) ⇩
<Pungent_Liquid> You have in your inventory a pack of toothpicks, a pack of matches, a rubber band, a pack of paperclips, a pencil, a pen, a wallet, and a pair of rook chess pieces (one white and one black).
<Meroma> Who am I, MacGuyver?
#6018 ⇧ (4) ⇩
<letusgothen> How is it that khmer is omnipresent even when he's not present?
<Gir> he's that good
<Feriority> letusgothen: Because his pants are in bucket
<Bucket> Condom testing!
#6017 ⇧ (16) ⇩
charizard joined the chat room.
snark: damn it. Are we pokemon again?
Raichu: yeah
#6016 ⇧ (13) ⇩
Blastoise uses Hydropump!
<Blastoise> It's super effective!
<Bucket> Enemy BULBASAUR fainted! Blastoise's PONYTA has received 2000 EXP.
<Blastoise> ...
#6015 ⇧ (12) ⇩
<Crayboff> he's probably on vacation or something
<Crayboff> and just didn't tell us
<Crayboff> he's probably on vacation with his girlfriend who is to hot to ever tell us about
<Crayboff> alone over at the beach
<Crayboff> yup
<Crayboff> that's probably it
<MBD123> In a tropical hut
<MBD123> Sipping drinks from coconuts
<Crayboff> most likely
<MBD123> Then his girlfriend gets up off the chair
<MBD123> His girlfriend slowly starts to take off her 1-piece Bathing suit. It falls to the floor with a gentle "whump"
<MBD123> She smiles at kidko expectantly
<MBD123> kidko's hands start getting all sweaty and he drops his iPod into his coconut of beverage
<Crayboff> XD
<MBD123> Panicked, he fishes it out, trying to remember that wikiHow article he read about saving a wet cell phone, but he's getting distracted by his girlfriend giving him a neck massage
<MBD123> "That feels so goo... I have to get the battery out of this thing and put it in some rice
<MBD123> "Room service? Please bring me a mixing bowl full of uncooked brown rice, hold the soy sauce"
<MBD123> Room service walks in and sees him getting a neck massage by his naked girlfriend. Horrified, kidko kills him
<MBD123> "We've got to hide him, put some clothes on and help me stuff him in this garbage bag!"
<MBD123> "Oh, but I don't want to put clothes on"
<MBD123> "Fine, don't help! Just let me get the death penalty!"
<MBD123> "But it was just second degree murder, you'll get life in prison at the very worst"
<MBD123> "Not necessarily! I called him up here, so how would the coroner know it wasn't premeditated? I'll get the chair!"
<MBD123> "We can prove that it wasn't premeditated and we'll spend life in prison together!"
<MBD123> "They'll send me to an all-male prison!"
<MBD123> "Oh no!"
<MBD123> kidko's girlfriend quickly puts her swimsuit on
<MBD123> but there's a knock on the door just as she is and she is unable to
<MBD123> They run to the bathroom to hide, but the hut complex owner has a bathroom key. He walks in to find kidko holding a garbage bag with something in it and his naked girlfriend
* JohnHenry hides behind jercos
<Crayboff> lol
<MBD123> "Um... I"ll leave you two to your privacy" he says losing the door behind him
<MBD123> "What shall we do with the body?" kidko's gf asks
<MBD123> "We can't risk someone else comng in here, so let's just hurry and get the body to the top of the abandoned cliff so we can drop it into the water"
<MBD123> "No! the abandoned cliff is in a shallow area! We need to go to the top of the cove so it will sink faster" his GF warns
<MBD123> They trudge up to the top of the cove and drop the body into the rapids
<MBD123> "The deed is done"
<MBD123> Suddenly the front of the cove caves in and kidko falls off into the rapids...
<MBD123> TO BE CONTINUED...
#6014 ⇧ (6) ⇩
<whiskeyish> larue: 1,2,3 or run away?
* laruePSf declares the game non-canon and goes to get a soda
* whiskeyish declares the soda non-canon and goes to find a beer.
* cogit0 declares the beer non-canon and goes to find a whiskeyish
#6013 ⇧ (12) ⇩
<Lisimba> Getting drunk in zero G is awesome.
<whiskeyish> oh wow. you were drunk without gravity?
<Lisimba> Well, it was really the other way around.
<freelancer> You were gravity without drunk?
<whiskeyish> gravity was drunk without you?
<Lisimba> I had some booze and tried to make gravity go away by the force of my mind.
#6012 ⇧ (13) ⇩
<TheMiNd> But instead I smoked a bowl... i thought the marijuana was laced or something
<TheMiNd> any part of my body that i relaxed would start moving on its own
<letusgothen> Laced with what? Parkinson's?
#6011 ⇧ (15) ⇩
lingrush: "She's not as big.. but she's got twice the power"
lingrush: "A forceful gun for a forceful captain"
lingrush: Mal gasped as he saw the largest and most powerful looking erection he had ever seen
lingrush: ...
Bucket: [As you stare down the barrel of the gun, you hear velociraptors rustling in the bushes to your left and right.]
RK: apparently Bucket thinks this is firefly/raptor slash