#9399 ⇧ (+1/-0) ⇩
<katana> Bucket: inventory
*Bucket is carrying five dollars, a hindenboob, a nuclear missile, Satan, ice cream, an M.S. thesis draft, a set of removable home row nubs, An HD copy of Shadow of the Colossus and an IV filled with coffee, recursion, a function machine, hitler, a dildo, money, another nuclear missile, a giant deer cock, a tupperware container with the blood of a curchmouse, children, a horse, fuck in moderation, and restraint.
<GreenWolf> WHY DOES HE STILL HAVE THE NUCLEAR MISSILE
<Aquarion> GreenWolf: Nobody wants to find out what happens when he drops it.
<katana> Bucket: drop something
*Bucket drops a nuclear missile
<GreenWolf> shit
<Aquarion> ...
#9396 ⇧ (+4/-0) ⇩
< tomatosalad> I am the world's most quotable salad
< GreenWolf> tomatosalad: Caesar
#9395 ⇧ (+2/-0) ⇩
<katana> I wonder if 0psnack is a trigger word at all.
<Ariamis> opsn4ck is? news to me
=-= katana was booted from #xkcd by mewyn (It's a trigger for me getting annoyed.)
<Bucket> Are you sure you didn't mean to kick Ariamis instead?
#9393 ⇧ (+2/-0) ⇩
<Caffeine> Only three days on the job and schwal is already cleaning out Bucket factoids like there was no tomorrow!
<schwal> Yep.
<Bucket> I am unhelpful
<schwal> Well, true enough.
#9391 ⇧ (+2/-0) ⇩
<GreenWolf> So I have a question, are all the ops here people who randall knows irl?
<@zigdon> GreenWolf: naw, we don't all know Randall - we're just all people he owes money to.
< Caffeine> zigdon: How did that come to be?
<@zigdon> Caffeine: not collectively - just one at a time. He still owes me the money I put down to bail him out.
<@zigdon> not sure how the other ops ended up in that situation.
<Stereo> i leased a pun to him and he got behind on payments... had to call the pun-lease and it's still not resolved
<Caffeine> Stereo: That was awful.
* TheAngryPun has left #xkcd
<Stereo> did i just make Pun quit
#9390 ⇧ (+1/-0) ⇩
< GreenWolf> I don't even have a tab key and I still have auto-complete
< GreenWolf> observe:
< GreenWolf> Buckley: literal[*] GreenWolf quotes
< GreenWolf> ...
< RavuAlHemio> Eeeyup.
< GreenWolf> GODDAMNIT BUCKLEY
#9388 ⇧ (+4/-0) ⇩
< Ariamis> flyingferret: you are dead or you are not dead
< flyingferret> Both.
< Ariamis> O_O
< Ariamis> Schrodinger's Ferret, ladies and gentlemen.
#9387 ⇧ (+2/-0) ⇩
< barometz> if profits are ever made from the factoids in Bucket I do expect a cut
< barometz> In the more likely event that someone wants compensation for having been exposed, though...
#9386 ⇧ (+2/-0) ⇩
* Bucket fires a katana at the ceiling
< katana> OW
#9384 ⇧ (+4/-0) ⇩
<InitHello> if a significand talks to god, is it a praying mantissa?
*** Shrdlu MODE +v InitHello
*** Shrdlu KICK InitHello #xkcd Shrdlu
#9383 ⇧ (+2/-0) ⇩
<name> Someone needs to put that in xkcdb
* name pokes it
<name> Done.
<name> I was expecting to have to register and whatnot, instead, I simply need to be able to identify fruit.
<name> I suppose it's a small enough community that you could go "name, did you *really* submit six thousand pages of 'fuckshitfuckshitfuckshit' ?"
#9381 ⇧ (+5/-2) ⇩
<Bucket> What do you think I am? A CANDU reactor?
<IceKarma> "You can do it too, with CANDU!"
<schwal> CANDU is for external use only, if ingested call poison control.
<GreenWolf> schwal: ?
<schwal> GreenWolf: Because it's a nuclear reactor design.
<GreenWolf> oh
<GreenWolf> yes, I can see why that would be a bad thing
#9379 ⇧ (+4/-1) ⇩
< melody> So my email notification has been changed to an explosion sound because I was accidentally ignoring the default.
< melody> And I just realized, because of status notifications, a small explosion is now heard whenever a server goes down.
#9378 ⇧ (+0/-2) ⇩
* Joins: FanGrille (mIRC@hide-1331A0B9.cpe.teksavvy.com)
* Jax184 sprays FanGrille with conpressed air
* Quits: FanGrille (mIRC@hide-1331A0B9.cpe.teksavvy.com) (Ping timeout: 180 seconds)
#9377 ⇧ (+3/-4) ⇩
<@relsqui> katana: do you not get the "translate this tweet" button?
< katana> rkm: ...oh, huh, I do, and...still wat.
* relsqui is not rkm, though
<@relsqui> .... or AM I?
< rkm> nope
<@relsqui> oh
#9375 ⇧ (+6/-1) ⇩
<Turgid> Bucket: instant book
<Bucket> Centrifuges and How to Avoid Them, by George W. Bush
<schwal> Invade Iraq instead of Iran.
<schwal> Too easy.
#9374 ⇧ (+8/-1) ⇩
*schwal would be amused if someone used amazon prime to get 2 day shipping on a jar of pickles.
<GreenWolf> I've used Amazon to order a jar of pickles before.
<schwal> GreenWolf: Why.
<GreenWolf> I wanted pickles on my sandwich, but I was too lazy to go down to the store to get them.
<schwal> ...
<GreenWolf> I got my sandwich 2 days later
<GreenWolf> it was delicious
<schwal> You are an odd person. Welcome.
<schwal> You'll fit in fine.
#9373 ⇧ (+6/-1) ⇩
<GreenWolf> humans are weird
<GreenWolf> crap, wrong irc channel
<schwal> Nope, right channel.
<GreenWolf> oh, so this is the channel for the alien scientific exploration of earth?
<Danjc2> GreenWolf: no, the alien psychological exploration of earth.
<Bucket> no, the alien psychological sexploration of earth.
#9371 ⇧ (+4/-0) ⇩
* schwal is not infact an alien doctor. Do not take medical advice from him.
<schwal> The fact that I have given medical advice in this channel does not change that >_>
<@IceKarma> schwal, I'm not a medical professional of any kind, but that doesn't mean I know nothing about medicine ;3
<Antipaganda> I'm not a medical professional, but I have stuck things into people to improve them
#9370 ⇧ (+3/-0) ⇩
<Ariamis> What's the Oculus Rift up to these days?
<Freudian> Ariamis: last I hear the dev team were scavenging roadkill off the New Jersey Turnpike
#9369 ⇧ (+4/-0) ⇩
< Mriswith> Strange thought of the moment: Bucket with ops. How messed up would this channel become?
<@Shrdlu> if that was all you did? it would be exactly as messed up
<@Shrdlu> he would respond with factoids, while having ops
<@Shrdlu> if you mean what if he also kicked people sometimes, then he'd be billygoat
<@relsqui> if you mean that and also had channel mode abilities, then he'd be khmer
<@Shrdlu> if you mean what if he also kicked people and also everybody could tell him to, then he'd be sna-- goddamit relsqui
#9367 ⇧ (+6/-4) ⇩
<x2x> WELP I JUST GOT RICKROLLED >:(
<tomatosalad> x2x: bfd
<x2x> By our web developer?
<x2x> On a production website?
<tomatosalad> oh
<x2x> (that has nothing to do with Rick Astley?)
<Karto> someone's unfulfilled at work?
<tomatosalad> x2x: trick him into implementing fartscroll.js
<x2x> Karto: Probably. I'm trying to determine how this happened and am currently spraying emails everywhere to the strains of Rick Astley.
<Karto> x2x: you could do what i do once upon a time and give them a perl necklace -- check in necklace.pl into their repository
<tomatosalad> Karto: ew.
<tomatosalad> Karto: you can't just secretly blow your load on people like that
<x2x> Karto: ... wow.
<x2x> That's almost plausible, though; I'm someone who codes in Perl religiously.
<tomatosalad> x2x: make sure the output is an obfuscated giant ascii wang
<tomatosalad> x2x: erect, with shading, veins, and happy batter
#9366 ⇧ (+6/-0) ⇩
<@mewyn> We've gone from the XBox to XBox 360 to XBox Infinity. I suppose this will be the last XBox since you can't get better than infinity.
< name> mewyn: Xbox Uncountably Infinite Series
#9363 ⇧ (+8/-0) ⇩
<Ariamis> So I have about half a Discworld library and I feel like reading one this evening. Whichever I choose will be for the fourth or so time. Recommendations, anyone?
<schwal> The Truth
<Bucket> You can't handle the truth!
<schwal> Or not.
#9362 ⇧ (+2/-2) ⇩
< fantasyprone> I wonder if you can hollow out a pineapple and fill it with coconut
< fantasyprone> and hollow out a coconut and fill it with pineapple
< fantasyprone> and hollow me out and fill me with booze
#9361 ⇧ (+8/-0) ⇩
<Shrdlu> rcombs: I have frequently been an op from a smartphone
<rcombs> Shrdlu: as have I, but everyone knows that's not _really_ possible
<Shrdlu> rcombs: I do a number of impossible things but that wasn't one
<rcombs> Shrdlu: now I'd like a list
<Shrdlu> rcombs: I *am* your father
<Shrdlu> rcombs: search your feelings! you know it to be true
* rcombs walks into the next room
<rcombs> "Dad? Are you Shrdlu?"
<rcombs> "Yes, son. We can be a family again."
<Shrdlu> rcombs: "Yes, son--
* Shrdlu gives voice to rcombs
#9356 ⇧ (+13/-1) ⇩
<Buckley> http://i.imgur.com/S4Tq3xp.gif
<name> Buckley, what was that?
<Buckley> a .gif
<Buckley> what do you think it was
<name> ...
#9355 ⇧ (+10/-0) ⇩
<Ahrotahntee> misreads the map, almost wants to move to "Action, Ontario"
<gnvkay> Ahrotahntee: action, ontario would be an amazing movie
<khmer> MAN-itoba
<khmer> epic winnipeg
<gnvkay> I'll haliFAX your next of kin your death certificate
#9354 ⇧ (+21/-0) ⇩
<@snark> someone is trying to call me on my cat
<@snark> it is vibrating how do I pick up
<@snark> I tried petting it but it just keeps vibrating
<@snark> I just let it go to catmail, now it is sleeping
#9353 ⇧ (+14/-2) ⇩
< melody> I am looking at a web hosting client's websites. The site is a wedding directory, and has a "brides" section >.>
< Ariamis> Bucket: ariamis quotes
< Bucket> <Ariamis> They're like that. Friend of mine bought a female for NZ$700, turned out it was a guy. Kept him anyway.
< Ariamis> melody: Be careful. ^
* Ariamis cannot believe he just won that dieroll
#9352 ⇧ (+13/-0) ⇩
<khmer> my dog just straight up caught his tail
<khmer> and was utterly disappointed
#9351 ⇧ (+17/-0) ⇩
<Buckley> Okay, say I'm dating a gril
<Buckley> birl
<Buckley> girl
<ropey> I'm dating a grill
<Loonycide> is it hot?
#9350 ⇧ (+14/-9) ⇩
<Panko> I'm a crepe.
<Panko> I'm a weirdough.
<Panko> What the hell am I doughing here?
<Panko> I doughnut belong here.
#9347 ⇧ (+1/-1) ⇩
< WassPord> Bucket: nano
< Bucket> nano is the batmobile of text editors
< melody> na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na nano!
<@Stereo> wait, is vi the batman of text editors
<@relsqui> Stereo: na, no.
#9346 ⇧ (+11/-0) ⇩
<Cheez> Xeio our elections are not a media circus, apart from the general election the whole thing is very under-reported
<Cheez> plus exit polls would be mostly refused by people, we do not like to talk about who we voted for
<Cheez> to ask is considered very rude
<InitHello> Cheez: "I voted for none of your goddamn business, of the fuck off party."
<puddle> "they seem to be doing awfully well this year, sir, thank you for your response"
<Arach> "Undeclared party wins in landslide."
#9344 ⇧ (+12/-3) ⇩
<tomatosalad> Man, I wish I knew perl. I'd love to run a goat.
<zigdon> Buckley: remember tomatosalad goat
<zigdon> ...
<Bucket> [Everyone falls silent and stares.]
<Buckley> zigdon: nah im good
<etta> zigdon: did you.. did you just forget the name of your own bot?
<zigdon> I swear, I need to write an irssi script that will fix this for me.
<zigdon> etta: no? I just forgot that Buckley exists. :)
#9342 ⇧ (+7/-0) ⇩
<browncoat> All they do is tell each other what great job they did /o\
<schwal And you expected anything different?
<browncoat> I've heard/seen some really good audi commenaries.
<schwal> browncoat: "The TT is an excellent car"
<browncoat> Huh?
<schwal> Audi commentaries.
#9341 ⇧ (+3/-0) ⇩
< Unbibium> i hate computers
< Unbibium> if only I were good at anything else
#9340 ⇧ (+12/-0) ⇩
<ropey> wow, something outside is pounding the ground so hard the walls are shaking
<ropey> the earth is quaking... my mind is aching.. and we were makin it AND YOUUUU SHOOOK ME ALLLL NIIIGHT LOOONNGGG
<Hodapp> ON THE HIIIIIGHWAYYYYY TO HELLLLLLLLLL
<melody> There's no way of knowing...
<wsa> shoot to thrill
<Bucket> play to kill
<melody> which way that we are going
<schwal> LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELLLLLLLLLL
<schwal> Wait, wrong song.
<Bucket> "Wait Wrong Song" would make a good name for a band.
#9339 ⇧ (+13/-1) ⇩
<tomatosalad> how do I kill the mouse acceleration in fallout again?
<mjr> it's fallout, so I'm gonna guess "crowbar"
#9337 ⇧ (+22/-1) ⇩
<CaptainPlatypus> there's that Rand Paul guy...
<CaptainPlatypus> I want to tattoo a QR code onto his forehead
<CaptainPlatypus> that links to a free online course in basic macroeconomics
<CaptainPlatypus> so that everyone who sees him gets an opportunity to find out how full of shit he is
#9336 ⇧ (+19/-1) ⇩
<Bucket> Jedi mind tricks don't work on you, eh? I bet Jedi FIST tricks do!
<GreenWolf> Bucket, you don't have hands
<Bucket> We'll see about that, When I fist your mom!
<GreenWolf> ...
<Bucket> [You hear a sound reminiscent of an elephant stepping on a peanut.]
#9335 ⇧ (+23/-1) ⇩
<drlemon> Hi
<Mriswith> Hello
<LogicalDash> S'up?
<drlemon> Hey, people!
<drlemon> How are you strangers?
<LogicalDash> We are considered strangers by convention because we have not met, though in fact we are familiar in many ways. That is how we are strangers.
<Ariamis> LogicalDash++
#9334 ⇧ (+23/-0) ⇩
<@Akrasia> someone with a number i don't recognize just texted me and said they'd be here in 20 minutes and they need my address
<@Akrasia> i sent it to them without asking who it is
<@Akrasia> so i'm going to put some pants on and find my baseball bat
#9333 ⇧ (+9/-4) ⇩
<schwal> yazdmich: That sucks.
<Bucket> schwal's trouser snake
<schwal> ...
<Bucket> [khmer hastily puts his pants back on.]
#9332 ⇧ (+26/-0) ⇩
<GreenWolf> My inability to soell has infected the channel!
<GreenWolf> *spell
<schwal> Bucket: rembember GreenWolf soe
<Bucket> That is not an heir questing.
<schwal> Bucket: rembember GreenWolf soell
<Bucket> UNCAUGHT EXCEPTION: TERMINATING
<schwal> Bucket: remember GreenWolf soell
<Bucket> Okay, schwal, remembering "My inability to soell has infected the channel!".
<schwal> You didn't see that.
#9330 ⇧ (+14/-3) ⇩
< tomatosalad> Dammit, dammit, dammit. I was going to work on my Obj-C this weekend
<@Shrdlu> sounds like you've failed to meet your
<@Shrdlu> B|
<@Shrdlu> goals for the weekend
#9329 ⇧ (+22/-0) ⇩
<ellipsis> to understand Bucket you have to think like Bucket
<schwal> ellipsis: That way madness lies.
<snark> madness?
<Bucket> Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?
<snark> ...good point
#9328 ⇧ (+3/-12) ⇩
< Bucket> not a fucking word, jackass
< taixzo> Bucket: what was that
< Bucket> taixzo: That was 'the googgles' (#39244): <reply> not a fucking word, jackass
< hooloo> Nobody said "The Googles"
< taixzo> hooloo: five minutes of silince
< taixzo> selince
< taixzo> silecne
< taixzo> grr
< Ariamis> silence
< Bucket> silence is golden, duct tape is silver.
\-!- taixzo [81158420@hide-6C77D8AA.mibbit.com] has quit [Quit: I can't spell "silence"]
#9327 ⇧ (+24/-0) ⇩
<Nautilus> Ariamis: they cause rubber wars, though
<Ariamis> Nautilus: war is the cornerstone of industry, I see no problem with this
<Ariamis> Nautilus: Er, to clarify, I'm kidding.
<Nautilus> Ariamis: me too.
<Nautilus> well, mostly.
<taixzo> I'm usualy fairly scientifically literate, but can anyone explain to me in plain English what this sentence means: "This is an instability in which the magnetic pressure front can out-run or "blow-by" the plasma armature due to the radial dependence of acceleration current density, drastically reducing device efficiency" ?
<Nautilus> the Belgian congo was basically a warzone created by an immediate economic need for bicycle rubber
<taixzo> ok