Hi! Just so you know, you can click on the $ up there to support XKCDB. (This box will go away after you vote once.)

⇤ ← 1 of 124

#10337 (+5/-3)
<goshfuckingdarni> i know, but it bothers me
* Robert_Banner is now known as HULK
* HULK has quit (Quit: http://www.kiwiirc.com/ - A hand crafted IRC client)
<Telo> Uhh
<Telo> What happened there?
<Takoyaki> rage quit?

#10336 (+3/-0)
<Nikc> I was the right age to have a non-creepy crush on the girl from Lazytown
<Nikc> That show might be the reason for my attraction to brightly colored hair
<bassgoon> heh
<Agafnd> Nikc: so you have said. http://www.xkcdb.com/4477
<bassgoon> LOL
<bassgoon> Agafnd, that's AMAZING
<Ranzear> Beautiful.
<Nikc> Oh shit, I forgot about that
<Nikc> Good pull :P

<Nikc> Agafnd: I think most of my quotes were said while I was a teenager. Please don't think less of me >.>

#10334 (+13/-1)
< Martin> CheshireCat: while whipping makes stuff frothy, it doesn't taste the same as using CO2.
< Martin> Because CO2 is acidic and bitter.
<@relsqui> you're acidic and bitter
< CO2> I am acidic and bitter.

#10333 (+6/-0)
< kitten> usb powered fleshlight warmers are a thing
< kitten> amazing
< goost73> kitten: we live in the FUTURE
< kitten> XD
* goost73 also ponders how much fleshlight warming is possible with 2.5 watts
< goost73> although I think USB3 will deliver three-phase if you want it, so I dunno
<@barometz> probably won't get it to body temperature, but anything up from room temp is probably an improvement
< goost73> barometz: I wonder if there's a temperature band where it's like a warm toilet seat, though
< goost73> barometz: "ew, someone else was just here"
<@barometz> the unclammy valley

#10332 (+13/-0)
< loudaslife> Is Google Docs just fucking with me at this point? http://i.imgur.com/W7wFotq.png
<@relsqui> without clicking, yes
< cook> with clicking, absolutely

#10331 (+14/-0)
<@relsqui> puddle is going to be so disappointed some day when she gets a real cat and most of the time they're not doing anything photogenic or interesting :P
< feriority> with enough cats, *one* of them has to be doing something interesting at any given time
<@relsqui> feriority: oh yeah, at a certain point on the cats per volume scale you're guaranteed to have an interesting reaction somewhere
< feriority> relsqui: so we just have to find the optimal cat-to-volume ratio, then get a single cat and an appropriately sized box for it to sit in
<@relsqui> O_O
<@relsqui> feriority: I think you just solved the cat box mystery

#10330 (+8/-0)
<ThatBum> If google doesn't call the phone after the pixel the megapixel I'll be disappointed.
<Agafnd> if your new google phone dies I guess it's a dead pixel, so pressing it should fix it
<bk> if you imagine your girlfriend is going crazy about her new google phone, is she a manic pixel dream girl?
<Agafnd> when you press the shift button, it must be...pixel shifting
<bk> the ultimate edition of the phone could be called Pixel Perfect
<Agafnd> black market ones are Pixel Piracy
<Agafnd> If you abuse quantum physics you can get 300 pixels per inch
<bk> thinnest phone yet
<feriority> the pixel can't be very good, it comes in blue but not red or green
<ThatBum> If you drop it under the car seat and it becomes wedged, it's a stuck pixel.

#10329 (+8/-2)
<LMAO> can i get pleez get unbanned i didnt do anything wrong
<&joannac> is this for #punblockedgames?
<LMAO> yas
<&joannac> if so, it says right at the top "We do not help with channel bans"
<&joannac> and it says right at the top of the punblockedgames page what happens when you are banned
<&joannac> 4 lines down, in white
<LMAO> u freakin stalker
<&joannac> why, because I can read?
<LMAO> no
<LMAO> just go fuckyourself
LMAO!LMAO@hide-8441CAF6.lightspeed.frokca.sbcglobal.net quit with message: [Killed (joannac (no you))]

#10328 (+11/-0)
<Agafnd> #xkcd, what is the nerdiest project you have ever embarked on?
<loudaslife> I built a replica of the desktop computer seen in the office sections of Portal 1.
<Rena> I wired a serial port into a router so I could replace the firmware and run Lua scripts on it
<IronAngel> nerdfail. I suck at this. I just built some cyberpunk arm rigs
<chaos95> I built Pong for a Spartan 3 FPGA board
<Branes> Agafnd: In the late 70's, I built a computer from raw components, built a simple voice-recognition board for it, then got an X-10 (old mains-and-lights controller thing) interface and wired up the house with a simple intercom in each room. I had voice-activated lights and appliances.
<Branes> Lots and lots of soldering :)
<Branes> On a purely software side of things, in '84 I wrote a GUI for my old Apple II in assembly ... took me about two months, the end result took up 13.8 KB of the available 64KB.
<Branes> Bit hard to drive with a joystick or paddles, though ...

<fiveofoh> Success! I just ssh'd into my work computer, installed a proxy server so I could access the router's web GUI to add port forwards for VNC, installed VNC, saved a GIMP file I'd been working on (but hadn't saved), and scp'd it to my home laptop

#10327 (+4/-0)
* OracleEmployment puts MDMAyyyy in Bucket
* Bucket drops a 'downer' and takes MDMAyyyy.
<OracleEmployment> Fitting.

#10326 (+8/-0)
<XanT> Hmm, fact checking the radiation issues. Seems that youd have about a 6% increased chance of getting cancer on a round trip to mars for 500 days.
<Kalium> XanT: that's a number I can live with
<rcombs> Kalium: well, probably

#10325 (+3/-2)
<CO2> puddle: what should my dad name his new kitty?
<alSeen> Miss Kitty Fantastico
<Bucket> "Miss Kitty Fantastico" would be a nice name for a band.

#10323 (+6/-1)
<Martin> Bucket: format c:
<Martin> Bucket: Y
<Bucket> ***NO CARRIER***

#10322 (+5/-5)
seven: my gender is happy and you can suck it if that's not good enough for you :D

#10321 (+9/-0)
<Buckley> was there an update to chrome
<barometz> there was
<barometz> they changed the look a little
<Buckley> i don't like change
<barometz> to my surprise I haven't seen a soul on the internet complain about it ye--
<Buckley> this makes me angry
<barometz> well.

#10320 (+13/-0)
<seth> I went to the library today. There's an old section that is specifically used for geneology
<seth> did you know my great great grandfather never went to school past sixth grade, and was a cutter in the lumber mill
<r> do you feel a general yearning for lumber
<seth> his son henry married a lady named eula mae in 1941 and they had my grandfather. eula mae divorced henry after a while and took on the last name of bruce when she remarried
<seth> I'm happy to know my family has a divorce in it as far back as the fifties
<Missy> i have an aunt eula
<Missy> i don't think i've ever heard of anyone else with that name
<seth> my grandfather remembers his father henry as an asshole
<seth> so I guess it's not too surprising eula may divorced him
<seth> sorry, mae
<seth> I don't want to get her name wrong
<priority_kitten> not surprised you got it wrong
<priority_kitten> no one reads a eula fully

#10319 (+6/-1)
<seven> I loved jumping on live streams on YouTube of SpaceX launches, where there's the active live chat in the corner
<seven> as the steam comes off the rocket while they prep it just before launch
<seven> I'd tell them that steam is an important part of the process, it's Elon's Musk
<seven> and people hated me for it.
<seven> I did that for like, 3 launches

#10318 (+8/-0)
< Namsor> does gta work on linux btw?
< mh> linux doesn't need car-stealing games, it's socialist and shares cars equally among the users

#10317 (+7/-3)
Soni: Stereo, what do you mean a hat already has a SO? what's a SO?
Stereo: an item that is a major plot point in more than one book (the sorting hat)
Ian: or a significant other
Soni: hmm gay hats would be cool
Soni: hmm would hats have sex?
Ian: they can give head

#10316 (+11/-0)
* Joins: DukeCeph (robert@hide-2E3D2032.austin.res.rr.com)
<DukeCeph> o/
<Palomides> yo
<Kizul> Careful, everyone! DukeCeph is dangerous.
<DukeCeph> it's been... a long friggin' time since I've been here ._.
<Kizul> You could even say he's the... ( •_•) | ( •_•)>⌐■-■ | (⌐■_■) ...DukeCeph hazard.
<DukeCeph> good to see familiar nicks tho :)
<DukeCeph> Kizul: ಠ_ಠ
<Kizul> :D
<DukeCeph> I've *actually* never heard that one before
<DukeCeph> well done

#10315 (+16/-0)
<Kizul> Bucket: IRC therapy advice
<Bucket> How does that make you feel, Kizul?
<Kizul> ...Like I should've seen that coming.
<Kizul> ...So, I kinda just realized that Bucket *doesn't* have a factoid for 'IRC therapy advice' -- but JUST SO HAPPENED TO SELECT the PERFECT RESPONSE for it.

#10314 (+8/-0)
<Krabboss> my ass
<sethisinschool> don't be vulgar chewey
<sethisinschool> I'm in school
<sethisinschool> you can't swear in a school
<Krabboss> my rectum
<sethisinschool> that is much more educational good job

#10313 (+6/-2)
* Joins: Hobz (Hobz@hide-3CC8A995.vc.shawcable.net)
<seven> yay it's Hobz :D
<Hobz> I'm being thoroughly greeted this evening
<Hobz> It's like a bar, but with less drinking
<Hobz> Ironically, much like a bar, there's also zero chance of me getting laid by being here
<seven> I dunno, there's plenty of saucy and sassy folk around here :)
<Hobz> Unfortunately our genitals are usually in different area codes

#10312 (+4/-1)
< eezo> Bucket: invent something
< Bucket> Here's a new invention: VB.NET made from VB.NET

#10311 (+6/-4)
<rcombs> how long does it take Usain Bolt to reach his top speed?
<@barometz> ... can't tell whether that's a setup for an unenjoyable pun or a question
<Nikc> ^
<CO2> rcombs: is he unladen? And are we talking about an African or European Usain Bolt?

#10310 (+14/-2)
<butterflyra> all that is required for neutral to triumph is for good and evil people to do nothing

#10309 (+12/-0)
<Missy> who describes settlers of catan as "a complex game reserved for the nerdiest corners of the gaming world"
<AnnApolis> people who have only previously played risk?
<~rob-sothoth> srsly settlers is like entry-level nerd shit
<~rob-sothoth> it's like my least favourite eurogame
<Missy> what's your most flavorite
<~rob-sothoth> alien frontiers, probably
<AnnApolis> so there is your answer
<AnnApolis> who describes settlers of catan as "a complex game reserved for the nerdiest corners of the gaming world"? people who have never said "it's my least favourite eurogame" on an IRC channel founded to discuss webcomics

#10307 (+21/-1)
<phobiac> I love stories of the major service providers getting fucked over because I detest them so much right now
<Oracle990> phobiac, I made Time Warner send a tech out 30 miles twice a week for 2 years when I was a kid
<Oracle990> phobiac, It was glorious
<Oracle990> They had the line going across the street from the box in my yard
<Oracle990> But they didn't bury it
<Oracle990> So for a couple of weeks I moved it and mowed around it, but it stayed above ground
<Oracle990> So finally, fuck it
<Oracle990> I'll just mow the internet
<Oracle990> So twice a week, I'd mulch the cable, they'd come out and replace it, not bury it, and I'd repeat
<Oracle990> For 2 years
<cnf> o,O
<phobiac> After the first couple of times they didn't just bury it?
<Oracle990> Nope
<phobiac> Did it cut internet off for you?
<Oracle990> Nah
<Oracle990> Just the other side of the street
<phobiac> even better

#10306 (+4/-9)
-- wot!wot@70F5CF20.FDBBEE61.A33BB871.IP joined
<wot> halp
* wot rings the bell
<wot> davean dyfrgi havoc joannac RobG spinfire Xavier zigdon
<wot> notice ME
* wot rings the bell twenty times
<wot> useless as a sack of potatos.
<&zigdon> wot: where's the fire?
<wot> k, listen up
<wot> I demand operator login
<wot> or else!
<wot> .zline zigdon
<wot> get rekt
<&zigdon> I'll get right on that.
<wot> alright ty
<Lady_Nymph> the lolz is great
<wot> i want the credentials to be password password
<wot> make it happen
<wot> zigdon
<wot> u done?
<wot> come on, cast your fingers onto that keyboard and make me a operator
<wot> I know you're a wizard, zigdon
<wot> Lady_Nymph: make me oper
<wot> you must be one of those undercover sucka
<wot> 's
<Lady_Nymph> do you see an @by my name?
<wot> no I don't see &
-- zigdon!zigdon@netadmin.foonetic.net kicked wot Reason: [please contain your spam.]
-- wot!wot@70F5CF20.FDBBEE61.A33BB871.IP joined
<wot> contain ur spam u mf
<wot> fudge u
-- wot!wot@70F5CF20.FDBBEE61.A33BB871.IP quit with message: [User has been banned from Foonetic ([#14080] spam)]

#10305 (+14/-0)
<@Stereo> sometimes i wonder if the canada geese are honking to interrupt each other like "what'd you s" "what'd YOU S" "what are you sayi" "i can't hear y" "wha" "hey"
<@Stereo> or maybe honking while flying just sounds cool
<@sheepbat> really, they're just terrible at flying
<@sheepbat> "get the hell out of my lane" etc.
<@Stereo> or it's one steering and 20 yelling left! left! left! right! right!
<@aliaras> Twitch Plays Goose Migration
<@relsqui> "MIC CHECK" "HONK HONK"

#10303 (+5/-0)
<tanuki> I still think my favorite thing about the Tingle books is that they recurse
<tanuki> like 3-4 levels deep
<tanuki> S ::= "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt" | "Pounded In The Butt By My Book "S""
<tanuki> Jesus. over a decade of CS study and I'm using it to discuss ridiculous gay erotica
<bearachute> ....
<AidenEldritch> tanuki: I take your functional(?) and raise you an OOP: function chuck_tingle () { print("Pounded in the Butt by My Book" + chuck_tingle()) }
<tanuki> AidenEldritch: You'd need a depth counter.
<AidenEldritch> tanuki: truuuuuuuu
<AidenEldritch> hang on a sec
<tanuki> AidenEldritch: let tingle n = if n = 0 then "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt" else "Pounded In The Butt By My Book \"" + tingle (n - 1) + "\"" end
<tanuki> not sure if that's valid in any real language but I was aiming for ML
<tanuki> (It should also be noted that I've never actually *read* any of the Tingle books, only their titles.
<AidenEldritch> do you really need to read anything more

#10302 (+13/-2)
* Jax184 gives Bucket an item so large that it's hard to imagine how it could possibly be contained within a Bucket, like, seriously
* Bucket is now carrying an item so large that it's hard to imagine how it could possibly be contained within a Bucket, like, seriously, but dropped a couple cubic meters of packing peanuts.

#10301 (+14/-0)
<@relsqui> not the #1 reason I passed on an unused smartphone to partner but way up there: MUCH higher-quality naked pictures

<@relsqui> I really enjoy this example: https://docs.python.org/3/library/configparser.html#supported-ini-file-structure
<@relsqui> it's the kind of example config file I would write
<@Shrdlu> hahahaha
<@relsqui> you see what I mean? :P
<@Shrdlu> <relsqui> MUCH higher-quality nakedpictures\nI really enjoy this example:
<@Shrdlu> no sorry I was laughing at ^
<@relsqui> ...
* relsqui facepalms
<@relsqui> I'm doing several things at once, okay

#10300 (+7/-0)
Bucket: i'm kinda tired from exams so matthewt is a bit off
thunkie: ...what do Bucket exams entail?
Bucket: cuddles is at home, sipping tea
feriority: cuddles and tea sounds like a good exam
thunkie: Agreed

#10299 (+13/-1)
<Cheez> when does the olympics start?
<Palomides> two days ago
<Cheez> ah

#10298 (+8/-0)
<Caffeine> crap, I'm overstimulated
<AidenEldritch> you're literally caffeine how is this a problem for you
<Caffeine> ...coming from me, that would sound pretty oxymoronic I imagine

#10297 (+12/-0)
< Freudian> you know, given that the Weird Old Tip never actually works
< Freudian> it's no wonder doctors hate her

#10296 (+12/-0)
⇐ CO2 quit (~CO2@hide-180B7F14.adsl.xs4all.nl) Ping timeout: 180 seconds
→ CO2 joined (CO2@hide-180B7F14.adsl.xs4all.nl)
<CO2> did you know that updating the OS/firmware on your router/modem/thing temporarily disconnects all your devices from the internet?
<Tattoo> yes
<rcombs> yes
<CO2> good

#10295 (+3/-8)
<puddle> https://i.imgur.com/fa84HY5.jpg "Xbox Cat"
<Jax184> http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5095/5463616424_89a3cf3319.jpg
<Jax184> playstation dog
<kitten> http://imgur.com/a/ltthP
<kitten> xbox guinea pig

#10294 (+7/-0)
<@Stereo> really the american system functions similarly to runoff voting, it's just that the runs are months apart
<@Stereo> and also for some reason take multiple months each
<@schwal> We call it "run-on voting"

#10293 (+20/-3)
< Bucket> flight of the bumblebee is impossible to hum.
<@creature> Do you know Flight of the Bumblebee?
< Bucket> No, but if you hum a few bars I can fake it

#10292 (+7/-6)
<Rocktalon> The very first picture in my computers porn folder
<Rocktalon> http://imgur.com/xNewL2l
<schwal> I'm not clicking that

#10290 (+6/-9)
* Rocktalon (47247a30@hide-EA88667A.org) has joined
<Oracle989> So the theory was that the military drill was training to use those Walmarts as concentration camps and rounding up all gun owners in them
<Oracle989> So there would be nobody to stop Obama from declaring martial law since they'd be in FEMA camps.
<mrkman> Oracle989: that sounds like a fundamentally bad idea
<Oracle989> And then he could force everyone to gay marry
<Rocktalon> uhhhhhhh.....
<Rocktalon> I'm just gonna go now...
* Rocktalon has quit (Quit: )

#10289 (+25/-0)
<Freudian> What they don't tell you about the Odyssey is that it wasn't Circe who fell in love with Odysseus and compelled him to stay with her. No, in the original story, Polyphemus himself was besotted with the great general, and for a time his affections were returned. But one night Odysseus dreamt of his Penelope and, upon waking, slunk shame-facedly to his ship, where his men waited for him.
<Freudian> Polyphemus was heartbroken, but felt he could not tell the other giants, who, sensing his heartbreak, found for him a bride.
<Freudian> And on the day of their wedding, they asked him, Polyphemus, is there anyone you hold dearer to you than your sweet wife?
<Freudian> And he whispered,
<Freudian> Nobody.

#10288 (+13/-0)
<Bucket> a bucket emulator is illegal.
<@schwal> The idea of someone wanting to emulate Bucket is beyond the pail.

#10287 (+7/-0)
< CO2> schwal: fun fact of the day, the dutch word for Thimble is literally "finger hat"
<@schwal> heh, nice
< alexxerthmobile> I want a finger hat
< alexxerthmobile> also what's the Dutch word for condom
< CO2> alexxerthmobile: condoom
< alexxerthmobile> oh

#10286 (+10/-7)
<@mewyn> This is happening sooner than I thought; I'm building my own Linux computer!
<@mewyn> From the chip level. >.>
<@zetlen> it starts with doritos

#10285 (+6/-7)
<arble> http://i.imgur.com/J0kttGH.jpg
<@schwal> arble: <I'm sorry> that kitten is bi-fur-catted <so sorry>
<arble> you will be forgiven... in time

#10284 (+1/-14)
* linky00 has quit (Quit: What is love)
<Rocktalon> Baby don't hurt me
<Bucket> no more

#10283 (+6/-9)
⇐ seven quit (~seven@hide-717B8D5A.dyn.iinet.net.au) Ping timeout: 180 seconds
→ seven joined (~seven@66E8C53C.271345B6.47CE241D.IP)
<seven> I fell off the server.
<seven> It was scary, being alone with my thoughts, for 3 or 4 seconds.
<seven> I don't want to experience that again.
<@schwal> ...you flounced out of here like 9 hours ago >_>
<@schwal> (okay, stormed, but flounced is a much funnier word)
<@schwal> (I'm just trying to ruin your joke, not trying to be mean or anything)
<@schwal> (I should probably stop talking)
<@schwal> ()

[ cf. http://www.xkcdb.com/10282 --Ed. ]

⇤ ← 1 of 124