#8829 ⇧ (+0/-0) ⇩
<@benley> doctor must-haves, partial list:
<@benley> - doctoral degree in medicine
<@benley> - license to practice
<@benley> - speaks enough english not to enrage you or accidentally kill you
<@benley> - furry tail
<@benley> - adorable pointy ears
<@benley> - purrs
<@benley> - bolivia
<@benley> wait, what am I describing again?
#8828 ⇧ (+1/-0) ⇩
<Z3r0> syntax: Where ya working?
<syntax> Z3r0: Local hardware store, Harbor Freight Tools. It's one of my favorite places for DIY equipment.
<Z3r0> syntax: FUCKING LOVE HOARBOR FREIGHT
<Z3r0> SUCH CHEAP SHIT BUT IT DOES EXACTLY WHAT ITS SUPPOSED TO
<Z3r0> THEN BREAKS
<Z3r0> THEN YOU BUY A NEW ONE!
<Z3r0> :D
* snark puts in some earplugs
<Fenhl> wth is up with the allcaps
<XanT> You appear to have a broken capslock key. Please attach a weight to your shift key.
<Z3r0> That's 5 years of pent up stage hand "FUCK SOMETHING BROKE" energy
<snark> he's really loud I guess
<yy2bggggs> It's an aol thing
<syntax> Z3r0: I'm honored! XD
<yy2bggggs> Either that, or a C64 emulator
<Z3r0> Harbor freight saved my ass in alot of shows man
* billygoat has kicked Z3r0 from #xkcd (I can allot you a lot of alots.)
<Bucket> They won't be doing that again any time soon.
<snark> I like the idea that billygoat just gradually got pissed at him until a smaller infraction made him snap
* Z3r0 (Z3r0@hide-1396EEF2.dyn.optonline.net) has joined #xkcd
<syntax> snark: That's what I thought it was at first when I saw that he got goated.
<Z3r0> Well that was rather delayed...
#8826 ⇧ (+6/-0) ⇩
<@relsqui> also, my favorite scientific name is the western lowland gorilla
< wsa> relsqui: it isn't gorilla gorilla, is it?
<@relsqui> wsa: no, it's Gorilla gorilla gorilla
<@relsqui> wsa: the extra gorilla is for ... gorilla
#8823 ⇧ (+5/-0) ⇩
<@snark> okay, so. I didn't know going in who wrote this. My experience of the movie was: "Waaaait. I think I know who wrote this." "Okay, I definitely know who wrote this." "Wait. Wait wait wait. That shot. That shot right there. He directed it too?"
<@snark> Credits roll. "Directed by Joss Whedon"
#8822 ⇧ (+3/-0) ⇩
<Nougatti> he still haven't gotten back at me since I made his fb profile picture a woman clad in a bikini made of bacon
<Nougatti> oh, and he's a muslim.
#8821 ⇧ (+4/-2) ⇩
Lorax: i don't know all the technical math phrasing and strange symbols, it's all latin to me
#8820 ⇧ (+6/-0) ⇩
<+Palomides> bets on how long it will be before a paralyzed person with robot legs can beat normal runners?
<+goodger> fifteen years
<+Nerf> By normal do you mean an average runner, or world class?
<+Palomides> Nerf: due to the speed of technology, I suspect the two will not be very far apart
<+Troll-man> based on the pace of development of such legs... more than 15 years
<+wtfTACOCATftw> It's just a matter of goals. If someone cared about top speed over everyday ability, I'd give it 6 months tops.
<+Hijackal> Give me nine women, I need a baby next month!
#8819 ⇧ (+4/-0) ⇩
<@relsqui> and now gmusic is skipping. fuck you bluetooooth
<@sheepbat> bluetoo.. <buffering>..ooth?
<@IceKarma> sheepbat, http://firepacket.net/pictures/Other/Real-Networks-Buffering.jpg
<@relsqui> ahahaha
<@sheepbat> ahaha
<%Rosemary> :P
<@res0> baha
<@relsqui> IceKarma completely shuts down #hops, news at 11 :P
<@IceKarma> =^.^=
<@res0> relsqui: wait, does the news air at 11 on the west coast?
<@relsqui> fuck if I know, I haven't watched TV news since like 1995
#8818 ⇧ (+0/-1) ⇩
* lagweezle puts Nav's bits in Bucket.
* Bucket is now carrying Nav's bits, but dropped a topological exercise.
<Nav> My bits!
<Nav> NOOOOOOOO
* Nav dives into Bucket to rescue its bits
* Pfisiar puts Nav in bucket.
* Bucket drops Nav's bits and takes Nav.
#8817 ⇧ (+11/-0) ⇩
<&aliaras> I picked up a cheap scale at a garage sale
<&aliaras> which required me to verify that it worked, so I asked the sellers for a liter of water :)
<&aliaras> Dear metric system: <3
#8816 ⇧ (+11/-0) ⇩
<~relsqui> :D so my student who got her citizenship yesterday brought in the certificate so my boss could photocopy it and put it in one of our flier holders
<@benley> what does that look like?
<@Shrdlu> it says "WELCOME ABOARD THE CITIZEN SHIP!!!!" in comic sans
<@Shrdlu> and there's clipart of a ship with american-flag sails labeled "U.S.S. AMERICA"
<@benley> and the bottom has a little ad for the pro version of The Print Shop Plus Online
#8814 ⇧ (+2/-1) ⇩
<Poshepocket> What would be your opinion on going to the school ball?
<Spork> People still call things "balls"?
<Spork> I mean, other than balls
#8813 ⇧ (+10/-0) ⇩
< Buckley> Communism broke down in that scenario
< Nav> Bucket: I keep mistaking Bucket for you
< Bucket> UNCAUGHT EXCEPTION: TERMINATING
< scgtrp> Nav: good job
< scgtrp> Buckley: Nav quotes <reply> <Nav> Bucket: I keep mistaking Bucket for you
< scgtrp> ... that didn't happen
#8812 ⇧ (+5/-1) ⇩
<@Stereo> ugh. i'm usually pretty nonchalant about insects, but a daddy longlegs just got the drop on me when i was vulnerable - naked without my glasses (in the shower)
<@Stereo> i'm sure it was freakin' out, too... nice warm home and suddenly it's raining
<@snark> incy wincy spider climbed up the stereo
<@sheepbat> I suddenly remember that they turned that song into a TV show
<@Shrdlu> and then rebooted it as a gritty series of graphic novels
<@Shrdlu> not, like, grimly realistic
<@Shrdlu> just covered in grits
<@sheepbat> dammit now I want grits
#8811 ⇧ (+5/-0) ⇩
<@creature> I have a mad crazy sweet tooth.
<@creature> You know that scene in Trainspotting when he's going through withdrawl, locked in a filthy room sweating and shivering and suffering terrifying hallucinations? That's what would happen to me if I tried to give up sugar.
<@sheepbat> ..I have never seen trainspotting
<@creature> Well, there's this scene where one of the characters is going through withdrawl, and he's locked in a filthy room sweating and shivering and suffering terrifying hallucinations.
<@sheepbat> ah ha
#8809 ⇧ (+6/-0) ⇩
* fantasyprone broke a nail ;__;
< fantasyprone> this is why I don't usually let my fingernails get long
< fantasyprone> I end up stabbing myself in the face
<@snark> I probably would too if I were you
#8808 ⇧ (+17/-0) ⇩
<@snark> minecraft squid look so resigned
<@snark> a look of derpy resignation
<@relsqui> is the name of my new memoir
#8807 ⇧ (+21/-0) ⇩
-!- Chair has quit
* nessie falls onto floor
#8806 ⇧ (+19/-1) ⇩
<@Frowardd> getting ready to interrogate this suspect
<@Frowardd> my partner offers him coffee, I threaten to drink his blood
<@Frowardd> (good cop/vlad cop)
#8805 ⇧ (+6/-0) ⇩
<@Stereo> i find a lot of speech tips assume you're good at writing speeches, and just need to be reminded that it is actually a speech you are preparing
<@Stereo> and not, i dunno, a carburetor manual
#8804 ⇧ (+5/-0) ⇩
23:46 * Oriza is about to brave Dead Space, wish her luck
00:00 <Oriza> oh jesus that was the worst idea i've had in my life
00:00 <Oriza> i'm done with that game
#8802 ⇧ (+12/-0) ⇩
<gregh> rpn.me is expiring. Any reason I should want to keep it? Anybody else want it? :)
<Daeken> hmm.
<Daeken> how much is it to renew?
<gregh> .me at namecheap is US$20/year
<Daeken> hrm.
<Daeken> when's it expiring?
<gregh> 3 days
<Daeken> i might pick it up, though i shouldn't.
<gregh> I registered it for an rpn calclulator project, but then hp15c.com became way more appropriate :)
<Daeken> OH GOD
<Daeken> i know what i want to do.
<Daeken> reverse polish notation erotica.
<gregh> ...
<Daeken> rpn.me/harder
<gregh> heh
<Daeken> harder it do girl dirty me tell and
<Daeken> oh man, i even have the slogan: our girls are STACKED
#8801 ⇧ (+1/-0) ⇩
<~relsqui> ugh I wish I could do more long-term testing to balance the cookie-production numbers and the like
#8800 ⇧ (+3/-0) ⇩
<Chaotic> And we all know what happens when someone starts a zombie gerbil apocalypse
<Chaotic> It's happened 3 times in the past year, I still haven't cleaned up from last time
<Lisimba> I'm very close to a breakthrough on making zombie gerbil meat edible.
<Lisimba> Then we can hunt *them*.
#8798 ⇧ (+4/-0) ⇩
<@aliaras> oh fuck I printed something like, weeks ago and didn't pick it up
<@Shrdlu> It's too late now, your printout has gone feral.
<@Shrdlu> If you don't socialize them with people in the first couple of days, they never really get accustomed to human interaction.
<@khmer> you gotta trap them between ionized rollers
#8797 ⇧ (+11/-0) ⇩
<@snark> there is mayonnaise in our fridge that has an expiry date in 2010
< Shrdlu> Hang onto it, it'll be valuable one day
< Shrdlu> When our civilization ends and a new one rises in its place, and eventually creates some form of calendar, there will again be a 2010.
<@snark> that new civilization will evolve from the contents of this jar
#8795 ⇧ (+2/-1) ⇩
<Rena> why do they have a visitor pass AND a staff pass?
<@Stereo> rena: one's a parking pass, year long
<Eule> Rena: staff ID, but visitor center parking.
<Eule> Rena: you could probably have a staff ID and, say, nursery parking, or dock parking
<Velociraptors> and Jurassic Parking
#8793 ⇧ (+11/-0) ⇩
<@snark> billygoat: stopword cake
<@billygoat> Okay, next person to say 'cake' gets kickbanned.
<@snark> billygoat: stopword lie
<@billygoat> Okay, next person to say 'lie' gets kickbanned.
<@snark> now that that's out of the way, discuss: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behavioral_enrichment
#8792 ⇧ (+13/-0) ⇩
< XMPPwocky> Oh oh guys
< XMPPwocky> so did you hear about the school dance
< XMPPwocky> that got hit by lightning
< Walther> XMPPwocky: ...they all got charged?
< XMPPwocky> no
< XMPPwocky> the building was totally obliterated
< XMPPwocky> thank goodness nobody got hurt, somehow
< XMPPwocky> but they obviously had to call it off
< XMPPwocky> it was an electrically erasable prom.
#8791 ⇧ (+10/-0) ⇩
<someloser> When in doubt, wear it as a hat.
<Axalto> but what if it isn't a hat?
<Resonating> Axalto: wear it as a hat anyway?
<Snoopy> once you wear it as a hat, it's a hat.
<someloser> If you know quite clearly that it isn't a hat, then you are not in doubt, are you?
#8790 ⇧ (+9/-0) ⇩
<fantasyprone> I wonder if it's possible to absorb alcohol through the skin?
<Nav> Only one way to find out!
* Bucket puts on rubber gloves
#8788 ⇧ (+14/-0) ⇩
* Parataxia ruins recaptcha
<@Parataxia> because i only solve the one it already knows
<@snark> the other one it compares your answer to other people's answers and discards the ones that don't match
<@Parataxia> yes, which is why leaving it totally blank sort of ruins the point
<@snark> well, you neither contribute nor ruin
<@snark> your non-contribution isn't significant enough to bother them
<@Parataxia> but if everyone else does too, it ruins it
<@Parataxia> so what i'm saying is..
<@Parataxia> will.. will you help me ruin recaptcha?
<@snark> you're like some kind of kantian terrorist
#8787 ⇧ (+4/-0) ⇩
< snark> "if everyone did nothing like me, society would fall apart. Fuck the man!"
< snark> the most logical form of slacktivism
#8786 ⇧ (+12/-4) ⇩
< Mithkabob> greetings and salutations.
< sharkee> jubilations and cheerios to you
< Eule> gray things and salutatorians!
< paratus> beatings and salivations!
< sharkee> bearings and operations!
< sharkee> hearings and applications!
< sharkee> harrings and crustaecians!
< Eule> flarings and convolutions!
< Eule> earrings and defenestrations!
< sharkee> twitchings and convulsions!
< Eule> flinchings and prevarications!
< Mithkabob> functions and derivations!
< Rena> fruits and vegetations!
< sharkee> hopes and expectations!
< sharkee> black holes and revelations!
< Mithkabob> rhyming and conversations!
< Eule> ropes and penetrations!
< sharkee> dopes and medications!
< Eule> Snopes and fabrications!
< Eule> Laughs and jubilations!
<@Stereo> boudoirs and condemnaaaaations!
< Eule> au revoirs and ululations!
< sharkee> couloirs and abarticulations!
<@Stereo> qatar and afghan nations!
< Eule> nets and reticulations!
#8783 ⇧ (+34/-0) ⇩
<@relsqui> I wrote a little script which is enthusiastic about things.
<@Randall> that is the most relsqui programming project I've ever heard of.
#8780 ⇧ (+33/-1) ⇩
<dysprog> in Shakespeare, 'wit' is a pun for a penis
<Iron> That makes the Ravenclaw thingy sound so much dirtier
<Iron> "Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure"
#8779 ⇧ (+17/-1) ⇩
< Random832> what does IMC stand for
< Headspace> instrument meteorological conditions.
< rosonowski> Which is a fancy way of saying "Can't see shit"
< Headspace> Imagine if you were flying, but you were also Ray Charles.
#8778 ⇧ (+11/-2) ⇩
< fantasyprone> aaaaaaaaaa fuck why does coworker have the air con on
< fantasyprone> it's like 23C
< fantasyprone> turn it the fuck OFF I have fripples like you wouldn't believe
< Thanatos02> fantasyprone: 23C is a delicious temperature.
< fantasyprone> Thanatos02: EXACTLY
< fantasyprone> it's just warm enough
<@Stereo> is fripples a portmanteau of freezing and nipples
< fantasyprone> but nooooooooooo, somebody wants freezing titsville
< asarkar> Well, that answers that question
#8777 ⇧ (+11/-0) ⇩
* dispatch gives Bucket stupid shit
* Bucket is now carrying stupid shit, but dropped stop putting stupid shit in bucket.
< dispatch> I guess that makes sense.
#8775 ⇧ (+17/-0) ⇩
<@res0> so apparently the light on my deck is not on the same breaker as the rest of the switches in that room
<@res0> at least my hand has stopped tingling now
#8772 ⇧ (+22/-1) ⇩
<Boom_Farmer> Brain fart: what's another name for a carrier, a company that flies people to places on airplanes? A company like Aer Lingus, JAL, United, Continental, American Airlines?
<stiglet> An...airline?
<Boom_Farmer> Airlines!
<stiglet> ...did "American Airlines" not tip you off?
<Boom_Farmer> ...<facepalm>
#8771 ⇧ (+43/-17) ⇩
<Bucket> Bananas!
[ This quote is a placeholder; it collects any votes cast while in Banana Mode. --Ed. ]
#8770 ⇧ (+3/-34) ⇩
<teferi> GOD FUCK A DUCKSHIT ASS COCKDAMN
#8768 ⇧ (+7/-5) ⇩
<Tec2> I wonder if xchat still closes when I join #xkcd
<Sigma_> try!
|<-- Tec2 has left foonetic.net (Connection reset by peer)
#8765 ⇧ (+12/-0) ⇩
<Caffeine> ...got half a cat in my lap
<Ater> Caffeine: wtf are you doing to your cats?!
<Science> Cutting them in half apparently
<Caffeine> Ater: He's shedding
#8762 ⇧ (+16/-7) ⇩
polemon: Axalto: a flood joke?
Axalto: Yes.
polemon: Axalto: a flood joke?
Axalto: Yes.
polemon: Axalto: a flood joke?
Axalto: Yes.
polemon: Axalto: a flood joke?
niekie: .. o_O
Axalto: Yes.
polemon: Axalto: a flood joke?
Axalto: Yes.
polemon: Axalto: a flood joke?
Axalto: Yes.
polemon: Axalto: a flood joke?
#8761 ⇧ (+21/-2) ⇩
<+Bucket> fetch a table
* snark fetches a table
< snark> now what?
* Bucket holds up a genetically engineered woman whos breasts lactate beer. Hold still, this may sting...
< snark> I no longer want to participate in the experiment
#8758 ⇧ (+13/-0) ⇩
benley: "HEY INTERNET, WHICH CAMERA SHOULD I BUY????" <---- excellent way to start a flamewar
Binerexis: benley: "DO I BUY A GAMING PC OR PS3? WHICH IS BETTER, IS MORE WORTH MY MONEY AND HAS BETTER PERFORMANCE?????" is my personal flamewar starter
Binerexis: Oh, another one is "Do you watch your foreign films subbed or dubbed? Which is better?"
Boom_Farmer: Binerexis: <cringe>
Binerexis: I know, I'm a horrible person.
#8756 ⇧ (+12/-0) ⇩
<@zigdon> Bucket: are you okay?
<+Bucket> I've had "Jessie's Girl" stuck in my head since 1996.
<@res0> Bucket: you weren't even alive then!
<+Bucket> Error 308: Math hard.
<@res0> exactly.
#8753 ⇧ (+6/-8) ⇩
<@benley> ;'
<@benley> ;'
<@benley> ";.l;'
<@benley> ARGH
<@benley> I cut my finger