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#10094 (+0/-0)
< Lisimba> Why is it called microphone? What's the non-micro version?
<@Shrdlu> Lisimba: a megaphone, obviously
<@Shrdlu> Lisimba: if you have one in between, that's just a phone

#10093 (+4/-0)
<@zetlen> uh what the fuck, two weird fucking faces
<@zetlen> http://icons.wxug.com/hurricane/2015/hou-mcs-400px.jpg
<@Randall> yeah
<@Randall> I almost linked that here so relsqui could remind us how to spell the word for when you see faces in everything
<@Randall> for some reason I assume that word is firmly in relsqui's wheelhouse
<@relsqui> man you're half right, I know the word but I absolutely don't know how to spell it
<@Randall> Pareidolia
<@Randall> man, based on the vowel-to-consonant ratio there, if that only started with a vowel, and maybe swapped out the plosive for something softer, it could be a really hot baby name right now
<@relsqui> just drop the p altoether
<@relsqui> Areidolia
<@zetlen> that's when you see nipples in everything

#10092 (+1/-0)
<@Froward> this is a 1883 solid form, commissioned by ullsyes grant upon the death of his wife
<@Froward> that's why the knocker is a frowny face, that's her likeness
<@Aaeriele> it's a hard knock wife

#10091 (+4/-0)
<shro> so I made a tip calculator web app
<shro> and then I went to a wedding
<shro> and at the wedding was an apple employee in the app marketing department
<shro> who told me that my app could definitely be featured if I came up with a different name
<@barometz> was it "just the tip"? :P
<shro> YES
<shro> IT WAS

#10090 (+7/-0)
* XMPPwocky has changed the topic to: opic is cut off, but it actually isn't | <3 | bee ptsd (it rhymes) | WIKIPEDIA BREATH by Jethro Tull (disambiguation) | It's story time hour in #xkcd | Told my sister about xkcd, now she won't leave the PC | https://youtu.be/08m--dKAZ4A | Now you're thinking with portals: it seems like the t

#10089 (+2/-0)
<Bucket> * yazdmich doesn't want to see Glench's giant ass-robot
<BytesAndCoffee> http://i.imgur.com/VQfXq6x.jpg

#10088 (+4/-0)
<snark> you can imagine the structure of the earth as being a little like a flaming marshmallow
<snark> I don't know that it's useful to imagine that, but you can

#10087 (+5/-0)
<goodger> now I need to find some computer desks that look solid enough to say 'we can't really move these out of the way, mum, you'll have to get a hotel' but are actually moveable for invited guests
<workcoat> You are a horrible person <3

#10086 (+7/-0)
< binky> Kliment: sometimes there isn't one word for something
< binky> Kliment: that's why writers exist
< binky> otherwise we'd just employ lexicographers
<@relsqui> binky: nicely said
<@relsqui> uh
<@relsqui> go figure

#10085 (+13/-0)
< Walther> also, can we just agree that we have an amazing community here, people tend to understand each others' viewpoints even if not necessarily agreeing?
< OracleCarbon> Walther: No
< OracleCarbon> But I understand what you mean

#10084 (+0/-3)
<bhuddah> who's the evil op in charge right now?
<@schwal> bhuddah: billygoat.
<Bucket> Sheep go to Heaven, goats go to Hell...

#10083 (+2/-1)
* Bucket drops the manual and takes +1 comon sense.

#10082 (+6/-0)
< alexxerth> Yo #xkcd, I need cooking help
< rtmiu> chili powder
< Ashley> order pizza
< alexxerth> When boiling chopped potatoes for mashed potatos
< alexxerth> I know I put in some kind of oil
< alexxerth> But I don't remember which kind
< alexxerth> Olive? Vegetable? Canola?
< rtmiu> baby
< ten> 40 weight
< alSeen> crude
< alSeen> sardine
* rtmiu doesn't know, but would use olive
< alexxerth> Why do I ask you people for help.
< alexxerth> I googled it, it was olive oil.
< rtmiu> whoo guessed right

#10080 (+7/-4)
<cheese> mmm
<binky> hello cheese, this is a safe place for you
<cheese> binky: in what way?
<permagreen> Everyone here is lactose intolerant

#10079 (+13/-0)
<OracleCarbon> #xkcd, edge brownies or middle brownies?
<@schwal> edge
<Palomides> middle
<OracleCarbon> middle
<@Stereo> edge
<@Stereo> we have now textually constructed a brownie pan

#10078 (+7/-0)
<Bucket> http://www.xkcdb.com/?168
<@schwal> ^note, that may have actually been Eric S. Raymond. I hear he showed up in here for like a week and thoroughly confused many people in that time.
<XMPPwocky> ahahaah holy shit
<permagreen> Wow, that would be amazing if true
<tanuki> Either that was ESR or a *damn* good impression.
<tanuki> I was an ESR fanboy for a few years... then I realized just how bugfuck he is. (This occurred shortly after 9/11.)
<permagreen> Just looking at the quote I assumed esr was some random 15 year old that had wandered into the channel
<@schwal> I think that's how most of the OSS community views him.
<@schwal> >_>

#10077 (+3/-0)
<alexxerth> Can somebody explain to me what Crystal Pepsi was
<alexxerth> Was it a different flavor or just color or what
<Hobz> Clear pepsi
<Ranzear> Pepsi with no dye added
<Hobz> Or so the legends say
<alexxerth> Was there a downside
<Hobz> The Elders spoke of it as 'super creepy'
<permagreen> Imagine growing up and outside your house all the time was this opaque as shit mud puddle. Every time you stepped out your front door you would glance at it and take comfort in its reliable brownness. But then one day you go out and mud is gone, replaced with the clearest water you've ever seen. And beneath that water is clown face starring back at you. That's what was wrong with Crystal Pepsi.
<OracleCarbon> It tasted different, too, didn't it?

#10076 (+10/-1)
<@Akrasia> i wonder how big a hill of beans worth the avenger's gross would be
<@relsqui> 2.233 * 10^6 m^3
<@Akrasia> relsqui, actually, can i get that in bananas?
<@relsqui> sure. 1.8 * 10^10 bananas
<@Akrasia> that is a lot of bananas
<@relsqui> you're a lot of bananas

#10075 (+8/-0)
<+JMcAfreak> I dunno. You can be paid pretty well by being an actual pharmacist and not just one of the assistants or whatever
<+JMcAfreak> Pharmacologist? I dunno
<+JMcAfreak> probably not that
<+goodger> pharmacologist would be the guy designing the drugs
<+JMcAfreak> that's what I thought the moment I said it
<+JMcAfreak> (also, the number of simple phrases moderator hasn't heard never ceases to amaze me)
<+goodger> p
-moderator- goodger, you have been muted for 16 seconds.
* moderator sets mode -v goodger
* moderator sets mode +v goodger
<+goodger> I thought it wasn't working, or maybe you're in god mode, JMcAfreak
<+JMcAfreak> power overwhelming
-moderator- JMcAfreak, you have been muted for 4 seconds.
* moderator sets mode -v JMcAfreak
* moderator sets mode +v JMcAfreak
<+JMcAfreak> Well, if I was, I'm out of it now

#10074 (+14/-1)
< phyphor> the sooner we can have implanted terminals with data connections the better, so we can do away with that whole "voice" and "accent" thing
< phyphor> sure, we lose the ability to convey sarcasm, but when is /that/ ever useful?
< Coast> phyphor, why would we lose the ability to convey sarcasm
< Coast> have you never seen sarcasm over IRC?
< Coast> cuz I have
<@relsqui> ..........
< Coast> it's a bit tougher, true, but it is still possible

#10073 (+4/-0)
<rabe> right, end it before s h e e p bat wakes up..
<BytesAndCoffee> or b a r o m e t z
<alexxerth> or Icekarma
<@IceKarma> yes?

#10072 (+13/-2)
<@schwal> ...
<Bucket> [Meanwhile, in puddle's pants ...]
<puddle> http://cuteanimalsonline.com/img/my-cat-hiding-in-my-pants-leg.jpeg
<@schwal> puddle: well played

#10071 (+4/-2)
<IceKarma> jercos, you know, you sound dangerously close to denying that other workflows are possible, so I'm gonna assume you're trolling now =P
<jercos> IceKarma: the line between trolling and idealism is ever fine ;)
<barometz> only because we haven't had to repaint it lately

#10070 (+5/-6)
<Bucket> So is Reddit though.
<Coast> Bucket, what was that
<Bucket> Coast: That was 'So' (#155266): is Reddit though.
<barometz> Bucket: forget that
<Bucket> Okay, barometz, forgot that So is Reddit though.
<arble> guess reddit isn't, after all

#10069 (+3/-7)
*** Froward (ebola@hide-CB925922.hsd1.md.comcast.net) has joined channel #xkcd
<tonyb> what happened to your second d, Froward?
<Froward> tonyb~ I gave it to ur mum last nite

#10068 (+11/-3)
<alexxerth> One day somebody's going to accidentally invent a sentient AI and it'll just be stuck doing some menial task
<alexxerth> Beware
<Bucket> I hunger.

#10065 (+3/-5)
<@schwal> Stereo: Toyota officially says the plural is Prii
<Jonathan> Priusses
<Jonathan> Sounds like a disease
<@barometz> schwal: well they're wrong >_>
<Jonathan> you get from playing an oboe in a vacuum

#10064 (+8/-4)
»» Bucket drops a lot of context and takes Ranzear's pants.

#10062 (+2/-6)
<Bucket> Mitt Romney is a poopyhead
<snark> that's rather an unsophisticated factoid. On the other hand, Mitt Romney *is* a poopyhead.

#10061 (+12/-4)
<binky> I downloaded a subtitle file for a movie i don't own
<binky> is that legal?
<Bucket> It is in the country it was filmed.
<binky> oh

#10060 (+6/-4)
<coxj2000> i have some groundbreaking news
<coxj2000> I figured out what my type is
<coxj2000> no-shit
<@Stereo> int?
<djh> string?
<BytesAndCoffee> int?
<@schwal> O negative?
<Bucket> Just my type!

#10059 (+5/-8)
tomatosalad: My metabolism is like an SR-71
bhuddah: leaky on the ground?
schwal: replaced by spy satelites?
* schwal high-fives bhuddah
Bucket: Was that a haiku?

#10058 (+5/-5)
< alexxerth> My laptops fan started clicking recently
< alexxerth> It's really annoying
< alexxerth> It sounds like somethings stuck in it, but no amount of hitting my laptop fixed it
< Slothrop> Computers hit back now.
< Slothrop> Beware.
< Bucket> I live.

#10057 (+11/-3)
ElectronicRU: I never got it why do people hate Comic Sans so much
rtmiu: ikr
Lisimba: It's overused by stupid fliers and stuff like that.
Jonathan: It's a "low effort typeface" or something. Oh, also for april fools Wikipedia should change their sitewide font to comic sans. The mental breakdowns of overreligious purists would be amusing
Lisimba: It's like... it says "I want to look whimsical and informal!" and then they fail at that in a groany way.

Ranzear: Bucket, start an argument
Bucket: <Spork> You know, I really think that Comic Sans would look better with serifs.
The0x539: ...

#10056 (+13/-4)
<Oracle989> This permit to enter Canada asks for my "appearance"
<Oracle989> What does that mean?
<Bucket> It means you shall not pass.

#10055 (+3/-3)
Rockyfelle: I made ram without knowing how it works. -. And cpu
geekahedron: I made a ram once without knowing how
Rockyfelle: Yeah it's easy
geekahedron: it didn't even work on my bedroom door
Rockyfelle: .wut
geekahedron: so the whole storming the castle thing was kinda out
Rockyfelle: Lolol
mrkman: remember the spiky bits are mostly for show
djh: I made a ram once.. you cannot trust ewes
@IceKarma: djh, ... kinky
Bubo: djh; dammit, I was gonna make that joke
djh: Bubo: You must be a mutton for punishment
geekahedron: that's what I started to go with, but the direction it was taking made me a little sheepish
Seppy: djh: your jokes are making me feel a bit sheepish
djh: yeah, it herd me a little too
Seppy: maybe I'm just udder the weather.
cnf: :P
djh: I wooldn't be surprised
Bubo: this is getting baad
geekahedron: the jokes just keep coming, and I have to keep guessing wooly make another one
cnf: Seppy: feeling something drip?
Bubo: Seppy; you mean the Wether?
geekahedron: maybe we're just bleating a dead topic
djh: I lamb-ent ever starting it
geekahedron: it's an exhibition of shear persistence
Seppy: ohh, excellent, I missed that one, shear-ly there's no more.
geekahedron: there can't be too many more before someone fleece the room
Seppy: yeah, it is quite a horny subject.

#10054 (+9/-0)
< XMPPwocky> en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Amazon_delivery_drone_prison_escapes
<@shoofle> XMPPwocky: doesn't exist <_<
< XMPPwocky> not yet

#10053 (+5/-0)
binky: contrary to popular belief it is not actually possible to take photographs with a potato
binky: I tried.
Bucket: And it didn't work!
ephphatha: in kindy I made pictures with a potato, does that count?
ephphatha: well, really I made a potato stamp
ephphatha: so probably not
Stereo: ok so there's presumably some chemical that can transfer from a negative to a potato stamp...
djh: Yes, it's called "water" :P
Bucket: stereo's factoids are always true.

#10052 (+4/-3)
arble: \o/
Branes hands arble the antiperspirant
arble: ~\o/~

#10051 (+11/-2)
<@Akrasia> this rock candy is bubblegum flavored
<~snark> that's an interesting coincidence because the gum I'm chewing tastes like schist

#10050 (+2/-6)
<Ranzear> Spoiler-free assertions about the physics of Interstellar before I watch it?
<+arble> inaccurate
<Ranzear> That is probably correct.
<+arble> try to spot the ontological paradox
<Ranzear> Like, unintended paradox?
<Ranzear> arble: No really, is there something fun to catch?
<Ranzear> Or is that just part of the film?
<Ranzear> Or are you yanking my chain.
<Ranzear> Or are you actually a seal-point kitten trapsed across his keyboard?
<@Stereo> maybe we all are
<feriority> what if we're all just kittens in jars

#10049 (+13/-0)
<@Akrasia> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_helicopter_prison_escapes
<@Akrasia> i'm just gonna leave this here
< feriority> oh wow those little success/failure icons
< feriority> I'm glad they have a key
<@Akrasia> haha i know right
<@Akrasia> it makes me so happy that this exists
<@Akrasia> nevermind how long the page is
<@Akrasia> This list is incomplete; you can help by expanding it.
<@Akrasia> Anyone know someone who's in jail?

#10048 (+6/-3)
<ElectronicRU> nearly a haiku
<Ranzear> How long must a haiku be?
<rtmiu> 5 7 5
»» Ranzear slaps rtmiu
<rtmiu> fuck
<rtmiu> i didn't notice :(

#10047 (+5/-3)
< Stereo> > On the season one DVD boxset, there is a bonus where this episode played out as normal with the character of Sterling Archer being replaced by a velociraptor replacing Archer's dialogue with appropriate dinosaur noises.
< Stereo> well that makes sense
<@Akrasia> i would watch most tv shows altered in that way
<@Akrasia> House springs to mind

#10046 (+1/-5)
<alSeen> cnf, they are nice
<cnf> alSeen: my testicles?
<alSeen> vasectomies
<cnf> oh, right

#10045 (+3/-6)
< CO2> huh, the british police is starting an investigation to see if Clarkson hitting that guy counts as a criminal offense
< CO2> wait. British. I mean 'offence'

#10044 (+10/-0)
< Slothrop> My worst memory of libraries came when I was 8 years old and decided to join a Chess club that met there
< Slothrop> I got totally wrecked by a 35 year old guy
< Slothrop> I wish I could find him now to exact my revenge
<@Stereo> did he have 6 fingers on his left hand
< Slothrop> Stereo: You know him, then?

#10042 (+5/-3)
<bassgoon> vasectomy is the way to go, right?
<punkymonkey> My bf doesn't want to do that since it increases your risk of getting prostate cancer or something
<bassgoon> does it really?
<Bucket> Only if you press hard.

#10041 (+10/-0)
<CO2> If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
<CO2> full poem http://web.mit.edu/adorai/www/seuss-technical-writing.html
<Branes> CO2: I have a #xkcd version of that Seussian rhyme.
<Branes> If a packet hits the socket of a Bucket on our port, and reply is then forgotten as a very bad retort, don't change the topic quickly or the goat-kick you will court, then the admins of the chan 'll make your IRC abort.

#10039 (+3/-4)
<tomatosalad> Michael Bay directed the music video for "I Touch Myself"
<tomatosalad> LOLOLOL
<Bucket> ... and then he takes an industrial pickle and shoves it down his pants!

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