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#10626 (+5/-0)
<CO2> I have a self driving printer
<CO2> it doesn't need a driver

#10625 (+5/-0)
<multiplexd> oh, also: https://irssi.org/security/irssi_sa_2018_01.txt
<taixzo> multiplexd: hmm. I clicked on that link and Firefox crashed.
<multiplexd> taixzo: ...
<Bucket> [You suddenly realize it is unnaturally quiet.]
<multiplexd> taixzo: what??
<taixzo> multiplexd: no idea why. That said, Firefox has been crashing for me every couple days ever since the Quantum update, on both Linux and OSX.
<jamesl> taixzo: see after Quantum was installed, Firefox is always in a superposition of not crashing and crashing. Whenever you observe firefox, you collapse the waveform and force it to become crashed or not crashed
<jamesl> (this is also how Firefox Quantum speeds up browsing. It creates a superposition where you HAVE clicked on a link, and when you HAVEN'T, so really the page was always loaded and by observing it you cause it to be displayed)

#10623 (+9/-1)
<CO2> BytesAndCoffee: I can't help but ask, if you had to choose between bytes and coffee, which one would it be?
<BytesAndCoffee> CO2: if you had to choose between one carbon and two oxygens, which would YOU choose?

#10622 (+8/-0)
<XanT> Boy does turkey suck. It really should die as a christmas tradition.
<Lisimba> XanT: it *does*.

#10620 (+5/-1)
<Oracle989> Rather, mocking the pie is okay if it's a value judgement on the pie
<Oracle989> But if you mock /me/ for /making you a pie/
<Oracle989> You do not get pie
<Oracle989> I'm a kitchen autocrat and will defend my reputation for exceptional competence in the field through superior firepower.

#10619 (+6/-0)
<kazitor> speaking of planes, I was wondering last night whether I could save weight in KSP by using jet engines? Do they have enough thrust to make it worthwhile?
<mewyn> kazitor: Well, that's kind of how you make a plane?
<kazitor> mewyn: but planes have wings. I need to be far away from the atmosphere.

* Wings makes a face at kazitor
<kazitor> nobody needs Wings on a rocket
<kazitor> I find Wings absolutely useless
<Wings> D:
<kazitor> Wings has never done anything useful for me
* Wings runs off crying

#10618 (+13/-0)
<jamesl> loudaslife: nah my big files are stuff I've downloaded
<jamesl> in my downloads and documents folders
<loudaslife> it still gets more than you'd think. Especially Windows Update files
<loudaslife> see

#10617 (+2/-3)
<Xenos> Meow
<multiplexd> Xenos: meow
* Xenos purrs randomly
<multiplexd> Xenos: are you using a cryptographically secure pseudorandom number generator?
*>* arc4random (...) has joined channel #xkcd
<arc4random> like, for example, arc4random()?
*<* arc4random has left channel #xkcd ()
<Xenos> Meow

#10616 (+3/-0)
<woddf2> jamesl: I detach tmux sometimes.
<multiplexd> i do that as well
<woddf2> multiplexd: Nick checks out...

#10615 (+4/-0)
<bubo> ah gotta love 'natural' cleaning products
<bubo> we got a whole bottle as a sample (didnt ask for it) and it's all like oh it's easier to clean when you can breathe, housemate gets dizzy from fumes, and the fumes kill a moth
<IronAngel> a lot of "natural" stuff is really friggin toxic
<bubo> I am fully aware of this
<browncoat> 100% organic toxins!
<kazitor> browncoat: I mean, I expect most toxins to be organic
<kazitor> apart from, like, arsenic
<browncoat> Yeah
<kazitor> I always try to call people out when they talk about organic stuff
<BytesAndCoffee> "its organic! it must be good for you!"
<kazitor> All organic stuff is healthy, that's why I drink a litre of crude oil every day
<browncoat> Haha, yeah, most food is actually organic :P
<browncoat> Except for salt?
<browncoat> And most food contains salt...
<BytesAndCoffee> browncoat: also rocket league players
<BytesAndCoffee> so much salt

#10613 (+4/-0)
<Oracle989> I think it's something to do with keeping you at your station firmly if a bomb hits you
09:52⎜<bhuddah> Rob1992: i was not talking about france ^^
<jamesl> Oracle989, so those belts cannot be undone?
<Oracle989> jamesl, Operators are permanently installed
<Oracle989> (no, they have buckles)
<jamesl> oh, I Didn't know that
<jamesl> I know they're not allowed to leave the room
<Oracle989> I think they strap in when there's an alert
<Oracle989> Or when they're drilling
<rcombs> or for a photo op
<Oracle989> Incidentally, they're sitting in a bunker 150 feet underground fully aware that there is a missile aimed at them designed to dig a 250 foot deep crater
<jamesl> Oracle989, but nukes are aimed at cities, and missile bunkers are usually in the countryside
<Oracle989> It's interesting that the US never fielded mobile ICBM launchers
<Oracle989> jamesl, Most nukes are aimed at cities
<Oracle989> Many are aimed at missile sites
<jamesl> also, what happens if you fail to arrive at a bunker before the shift change?
<Oracle989> The officers on duty presumably state at their station until relieved
<Oracle989> Same as other operators of critical equipment
<Oracle989> Like powerplant engineers
<Oracle989> s/state/stay/
<jamesl> or production line workers
<Oracle989> Production line workers remain at their station until dead
<jamesl> I meant the human ones
<Oracle989> I did too
<jamesl> oh

#10611 (+15/-0)
<Xenos> / Last christmas I gave you my brain / And the very next day, I wrote this refrain /
<Stereo> last christmas, i tore you apart / the very next day, ate your still beating heart / this year, to save me from tears / i want to eat someone special

#10610 (+8/-1)
<jamesl> is this the real life, is this just IRC
<jamesl> caught in a netsplit, no escape from reality
<multiplexd> connect your clients, look up to the sky and see?
<djh> I'm just a Perl boy, I need no sympathy
<multiplexd> 'cause i'm easy come, easy go
<multiplexd> loggin' in, loggin' out
<Epi> anyway the asl goes, just don't send dick pics to meee.. to mee
<multiplexd> dum dum dum duuum duuuuum
<multiplexd> dum dum dum duuum duuuuum
<djh> mama just kickbanned a man
<multiplexd> put the ban-hammer to his head
<multiplexd> pulled the trigger, now he's dead
<djh> goodbye everybody, I've got to go. Got to leave you all behind & poke the goat
*+* Mode change "+b *!~djh@*.default.djh.uk0.bigv.io" on channel #xkcd by billygoat
*<* djh has been kicked off channel #xkcd by billygoat (Goat-ed)
<Bucket> http://i.imgur.com/zPoi8Dr.gif

#10609 (+3/-4)
* Xenos is now known as Sandwich
* kazitor eats Sandwich
* Sandwich is now known as StomachContents
* kazitor "ejects" StomachContents
* StomachContents is now known as Shit
* kazitor flushes

#10608 (+6/-3)
<CO2> jamesl: I just learned that Martin believes that Windows didn't exist in 1994, can you teach him the truth?
<jamesl> Martin: windows has existed since 1995
<jamesl> er, 1985*

#10607 (+9/-0)
<@ephphatha> also, pretty sure ferret is in #bots
* you flips a coin
< flyingferret> you got: heads
* Bucket steals the coin
< jamesl> ferret can also be PMed. As can jamesl.

< StarfishPrime> *everybody takes a short break to pm jamesl*
< jamesl> yeah I regret this

#10606 (+17/-0)
< jamesl> what did seven say?
< cnf> jamesl: why, do you have them on ignore?
< jamesl> no, I disconnected
< taixzo> did you?
< Bucket> yes, they did
< jamesl> I don't generally /ignore people
< taixzo> you don't show as having disconnected for me
< jamesl> taixzo: from my bouncer
< taixzo> oh
< jamesl> you will never see me disconnect, apart from on the 25th when I take my server down for its Christmas break
< taixzo> you give your servers Christmas off?
< taixzo> man, some sysadmins
< jamesl> taixzo: you don't?
< jamesl> every server deserves Christmas off to spend with its hypervisor
< taixzo> of course not! my servers only get 5 minutes vacation per year.
< taixzo> which they usually take unexpectedly while I'm trying to do something important.

#10605 (+10/-1)
< taixzo> ok, so massive security vulnerability in OS X: you can log in as "root" with no password
< taixzo> this works on login screen, or in dialog prompting for admin access

<@barometz> I can't imagine finding that
< StarfishPrime> I vaguely remember this happening before
<@barometz> somehow, accidentally, you log in that way
< jamesl> I wouldn't believe it if I found it
<@barometz> and no, that can't be right, can it?
<@barometz> you try again, and yup, it works
< StarfishPrime> same thing, being able to log in without a password
<@barometz> did I break something? do I already have a virus?
<@barometz> so you reinstall the whole dang thing but no, really, what?
<@barometz> I guess I can imagine finding that

#10604 (+8/-0)
<Telo> Dear Bella Italia email newsletter, please fuck off, regards James
<Telo> I really don't need eighteen emails a day saying I can get your shitty pasta for 1/3 off if I bring a group of 75 people
<Telo> Why am I even subscribed?
<Telo> Does anybody even like Bella Italia?
<Telo> Like, that's where I'd take somebody I hate to break up with them
<Agafnd> Telo: or take 75 people to break up with them
<Agafnd> Telo: it's cheaper!
<Telo> Agafnd: Perfect, I'll just save up all my breakup dinners for the rest of my life and have them all at once when I'm on my deathbed. Lifehack!
<Agafnd> Telo: also i think taking 75 people will save you the trouble of breaking up with them individually

#10601 (+6/-0)
<Xenos> If anyone here ever gets a hold of a time machine, please pick me up at 67.280215, 14.414311 right now.
* Xenos has quit (Quit: Later everyone...?)
<Branes> ... he didn't give a time zenith reference.
<Agafnd> norway will we find him now!

[ 2017-11-26 11:16:45 UTC if you want to go for it. --Ed. ]

#10600 (+4/-0)
<Agafnd> idea! go into software engineering, but learn how to do some other thing, like, i don't know
<Agafnd> lumberjacking
<Agafnd> then if you hate your job you can take your anger out on trees
<ClintThe2nd> i like quantum physics lol
<Agafnd> or take out your anger on some bosons, doesn't matter
<Agafnd> (ba-dum tss)

#10599 (+4/-0)
<space-marmot2> sigh cats are really curious whenever we do baking
<Agafnd> what's a sigh cat
<sheepbat> it's like a space cat
<sheepbat> but more melancholy
<Agafnd> oh
<Agafnd> i guess it makes sense that a sigh cat and a space marmot would get along then

#10598 (+6/-0)
<woddf2> Overheard: "Don’t tell me how to live my life, bucket"
<Bucket> Unless ...
<woddf2> Wait...
<woddf2> wwt
<woddf2> Bucket: What was that?
<Bucket> woddf2: That was 'cfood' (#165298): is cookie
<Kizul> XD
<Xenos> Spoocket
<Agafnd> are you sentient, bucket
<Agafnd> o_o
<you> ferret, is bucket sentient?
<flyingferret> I'm ... actually not sure. There are good arguments for both.
<you> wow
<Xenos> Bucket: Are you sentient?
* Bucket quietly disposes of Xenos.

#10597 (+9/-0)
<multiplexd> jamesl: hint: i'm terrible at reading people
* Xenos writes on people more bigly so multiplexd can see the letters

#10596 (+9/-0)
<XanT> Gonna have to start spray painting the grey squirrels.
<XanT> Until they work out to be red coloured to avoid being spray painted. I think thats how evolution works.

#10593 (+16/-1)
< CO2> if I make nut-shaped pieces of dough, can I sell them as doughnuts?
<@barometz> CO2: that is what a doughnut is
< Telo> CO2: No, the pun police will come and put you in word jail.
< CO2> Telo: that might be true
< taixzo> barometz: I challenge you to name a toroidal nut
<@barometz> taixzo: the one that goes with a bolt
< taixzo> blast, you got me there

#10591 (+7/-0)
<Bucket> tuesday is for kernel compilin'
<StarfishPrime> >tfw you meet someone who does not compile at boot time
<BytesAndCoffee> #PatchTuesday
<BytesAndCoffee> >TFW you meet someone who doesn't recompile each program before running it
<StarfishPrime> >tfw you meet someone who doesn't JIT their C
<Palomides> >recompiling instead of patching binaries in memory
<Kas> >Recompiling instead of sending to Oracle for a new static binary
<BytesAndCoffee> >not using a butterfly and bare platters to run each program
<StarfishPrime> bytesandcoffee: wow captain secondary storage over here
<StarfishPrime> I have a warehouse filled with 480 TB of core memory, so I can use butterflies to patch in RAM

#10590 (+14/-0)
<gtrmtx> .
<gtrmtx> .
<gtrmtx> .
<jamesl> .
<gtrmtx> .
<Oracle989> .
<jamesl> .
<Oracle989> .
<gtrmtx> .
<loudaslife> ,
<King_Hual> what the fuck is wrong with you
<Oracle989> Seriously loudaslife we are living in a society
<jamesl> what the hell dude
<jamesl> you can't just say that
<Oracle989> I can't believe you've done this

#10589 (+3/-0)
* Xenomorph gives SpicyDemon candy corn
<SpicyDemon> Wow... you ARE evil!

#10588 (+2/-0)
<COBoo> please dont fontshame computermachines
<COBoo> they cant help having papyrus

#10587 (+4/-1)
<Agafnd> is nickserv dead again?
<Boom_Farmer> whois points to yes
<Agafnd> nickserv will come back...AS A ZOMBIE
<Agafnd> >NickServ< identify hunter2
<Agafnd> * You are now eaten alive.

#10586 (+6/-1)
* multiplexd gives Bucket lots and lots of boredom
* Bucket hands multiplexd toxins in exchange for lots and lots of boredom
* multiplexd yelps
* multiplexd gives Bucket toxins
* Bucket hands multiplexd a gay spider in exchange for toxins
<multiplexd> ...
<Bucket> [As you stare down the barrel of the gun, you hear velociraptors rustling in the bushes to your left and right.]
<multiplexd> how big is the spider
<multiplexd> i'm okay with small ones
<Lisimba> multiplexd: australia size
<multiplexd> oh SHIT
<Bucket> i forgot to install the control rods in the nuclear reactor again
* multiplexd gently puts the gay spider down and backs away slowly

#10585 (+5/-0)
* CO2_work pushes jamesl to github
<jamesl> pls CO2_werk
* Xenos pulls jamesl from github
* CO2_work makes a pull request for jamesl
<jamesl> merge changes?
<CO2_work> ya
* jamesl mergs
<Xenos> zergs
* Xenos makes some minor modifications to jamesl for the betterment of jameslkind
<jamesl> segmentation fault
* Xenos pushes jamesl to git again
<jamesl> Xenos, why do I now have a tail?
<Xenos> jamesl: Balance
* CO2_work forks jamesl
<jamesl> why do I no longer love the early 2000s
<Xenos> jamesl: Taste
<jamesl> wait, I am in CO2's body
<Xenos> jamesl: Bug
<jamesl> I have CO2's mind
<jamesl> I am CO2
<Bucket> "I Am CO2" would be a nice name for a rock band.
<jamesl> CO2 is jamesl
* Xenos gives CO2 a bigger fork
* Xenos also sharpened it first
<jamesl> wait shit, I'm a software developer
<jamesl> help
<jamesl> Bucket, IRC programming advice
<Bucket> When you can't do "provably correct", settle for "probably correct"

#10583 (+6/-0)
* asarkar gives Bucket The Grand Inquisitor
* Bucket is now carrying The Grand Inquisitor, but dropped next week.
<multiplexd> ah shit, there go my plans for next week
<Xenos> There goes *everybody's* plans for next week

#10582 (+9/-2)
*N* God is now known as Xenos
<multiplexd> God has descended unto the earth as a mortal man!
<Xenos> *alien
<multiplexd> ugh
<multiplexd> fine
<multiplexd> God has descended unto the earth as a mortal alien!
<multiplexd> there
<multiplexd> happy?
<Xenos> *immortal
<Xenos> wait
<Xenos> *immoral
<Xenos> That's it
<multiplexd> fucksake Xenos
<multiplexd> God has descended unto the earth as an immoral alien!
<multiplexd> we done now?
<Xenos> Getting closer
<Xenos> *Not actually God
<multiplexd> Not actually God has descended unto the earth as an immoral alien?
<Xenos> Yes
<Xenos> That's it
<multiplexd> okay
<multiplexd> that's cool

#10581 (+17/-0)
< Kalium> Bucket: velociraptors are smaller than you think
< Bucket> Okay, Kalium.
< Kalium> wait, I forgot that Velociraptors is also a denizen.
< Kalium> I wonder what the split on those factoids is
< BytesAndCoffee> Bucket: velociraptors are the vectorized form of speedraptors
< Bucket> Okay, BytesAndCoffee.
< taixzo> velociraptors are the differential of positiraptors
< taixzo> if you differentiate them again, you get acceleraptors which are simply terrifying
< jamesl> velociraptors are speedraptors travelling in a particular direction
< Vulpes> so wait, what if you differentiate acceleraptors?
< Vulpes> do you get jerkraptors?
< Stayman> Those are the worst
< BytesAndCoffee> Stayman: they're literally jerks
< Stayman> absolute jerks. The lot of them.
< Vulpes> jerkraptors make videos on youtube where they sexually harass women and say it's a "prank"
< Vulpes> fuck jerkraptors
-!- taixzo changed the topic of #xkcd to: Fuck jerkraptors | Happy Leif Erikson Day | Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! | AOL Instant Messenger shutting down on
December 15 | RIP AIM | http://www.spacex.com/webcast | Freeze peach hour | It’s use the wrong homophone hour | pikhq, our surviving descendant of The
Dictionary Wars; word | The waiting was
< BytesAndCoffee> i love how we got from a LAR quote to "Fuck jerkraptors"
< Stayman> If you differentiate Jerkraptors you get snapraptors.
* Kalium cracks a snapraptor and shakes it until it starts to glow
< Stayman> They're like snapdragons but much more terrifying.
< BytesAndCoffee> Stayman: who are shockingly good at jazz
< jamesl> dy / d(jerkraptors)
< taixzo> but then you also have crackleraptors and popraptors
< taixzo> (Popraptors have side jobs performing at Super Bowl halftime shows)
< Vulpes> also Taylor Swift is a secret poprap- dammit taixzo
< jamesl> Taylor Swift is not only a raptor, but an awful singer
< Vulpes> the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now
< Vulpes> why?
< Vulpes> because she's been kidnapped and replaced by a secret popraptor
< jamesl> the old Taylor can't come to the phone, because she's unable to pick up the handset due to a lack of thumbs
< Vulpes> jamesl, that requires some form of fanart really
< Vulpes> Taylor Swiftraptor desperately trying to pick up a phone without opposable thumbs
< jamesl> the raptor has Taylor Swift's hair, but a raptor's head
< Vulpes> also has some kind of Taylor Swift type dress of course
< Vulpes> 45 minutes ago: a velociraptor is the differential of a positiraptor
< Vulpes> now: this shit

#10579 (+20/-0)
<rcombs> man, I'd love to tell the president to get bent with no consequences
<rcombs> …wait
<rcombs> https://twitter.com/11rcombs/status/918355624387383296 I can't believe this website is free

#10578 (+5/-0)
<@barometz> Skyblaze: a bird flies into your room
<jamesl> CAW CAW
<jamesl> this is for dramatic effect
<Skyblaze> barometz, uuh. GO NORTH.
<jamesl> CAW CAW
<Skyblaze> examine bird
<jamesl> CAW CAW
<Skyblaze> take bird
<jamesl> CAW CA-
<Kalium> ye can't get ye bird
<tonyb486> The crow CAWs at midnight.
<tonyb486> Are you black squirrel?
<Skyblaze> I'm not sure if people are being weird, using old references, I missed something on scrollback or I'm having a stroke
<Kalium> https://c.eev.ee/dont-eat-cactus/play.html < A simple Inform 7 game
<jamesl> Skyblaze: CAW CAW
<Skyblaze> jamesl, eat bird
<Stayman> Skyblaze, I definitely missed something.
<Kalium> You try to eat the bird, but it breaks free! CAW CAW.
<Skyblaze> examine surroundings
<Kalium> You are in an open forest. There is a BIRD and a PARTY HAT here.
<Skyblaze> sell party hat 20 mil
<Kalium> there are paths leading NORTH, NORTH, NORTH, and NORTH
<tonyb486> z-code
<tonyb486> GO "NORTH, AND NORTH"
<Skyblaze> follow tonyb486
<Kalium> You are now in a snowy forest. There is a BEAR and a TREE here.
<Skyblaze> examine tree
<Kalium> There are paths leading: NORTH, SOUTH, EAST
<Kalium> Skyblaze: The TREE is covered in CLAW MARKS. There are BERRIES in the TREE
<Skyblaze> climb tree
<Skyblaze> take berries
<Kalium> You are in the TREE
<Kalium> You take TWELVE (12) BERRIES
<Bren64zz> ...what is happening here?
<Kalium> You store the BERRIES in your METAPOUCH
<Skyblaze> examine surroundings
<tonyb486> eat bear
<@barometz> Bren64zz: suddenly, mud improv
<Kalium> Skyblaze: You are in the TREE. Below you can see: BEAR, TREE
<@barometz> it's like LARP but different, and not so much outside
<Skyblaze> throw 1 berry at bear
<Kalium> The BEAR sniffs at the BERRY. It swats the BERRY away.
<Skyblaze> {I once improv'd a whole text rpg based around Shia LaBeouf. It was fun}
<Kalium> You now have ELEVEN (11) BERRIES
<Skyblaze> examine berries
<Kalium> BERRIES are an inch across and bright blue
<tonyb486> kill berries
<Kalium> > What do you KILL the berries with?
<Skyblaze> talk to bear
<Kalium> Skyblaze: The BEAR rears up and starts to speak
<tonyb486> face
<Kalium> "What colour am I"
<Kalium> tonyb486: You KILL the BERRIES with your FACE
<Kalium> You are now BLUE
<Skyblaze> examine bear
<Kalium> You have lost ELEVEN (11) BERRIES
<tonyb486> look at bear with face
<Kalium> Skyblaze: The BEAR appears to be BLUE. So does everything else.
<Skyblaze> Wait, are we playing the same game?
<Kalium> You now have BERRY PULP
<Skyblaze> As in, controlling the same character?
<Kalium> I'm just the NARRATOR
<tonyb486> frighten bear with blue face
<Kalium> The BEAR is UNFAZED
<tonyb486> Skyblaze: ITS OK I HAVE A PLAN
<tonyb486> Skyblaze: ACTUALLY NVM IT JUST FAILED
<Kalium> "What colour am I" asks the bear.
<Skyblaze> reply "I am colourblind Mr Bear"
<Kalium> The BEAR is FLATTERED and offers you a LADDER
<tonyb486> kill ladder with face
<Skyblaze> TAKE LADDER
<Kalium> You now have a LADDER.
<Kalium> you store the LADDER in your METAPOUCH
<tonyb486> kill ladder with face
<Stayman> How do you win don't eat the cactus? I can't seem to progress the game.
<tonyb486> Skyblaze: have you tried not eating the cactus?
<Kalium> tonyb486: There is no LADDER here
<tonyb486> wipe face
<Kalium> > With what will you WIPE FACE
<tonyb486> arm
<Kalium> You WIPE your FACE with your ARM. You can see colours again.
<Skyblaze> ooh, now.
<Skyblaze> examine bear
<Kalium> The BEAR is WHITE. As is everything else.
<Skyblaze> tell bear "white"
<tonyb486> tell bear "the superior race"
<Kalium> The BEAR nods. The BEAR invites you to TEA.
<Skyblaze> follow bear
<jamesl> ACCEPT TEA
<Kalium> You FOLLOW the BEAR
<Kalium> You are now in the BEAR CAVE
<Kalium> You can see: BEARS
<Kalium> TEA
<tonyb486> fuck
<Kalium> BAG
<Kalium> FIRE
<tonyb486> take fire
<Skyblaze> offer bears berry pulp
<Kalium> tonyb486: You try to take FIRE. You put FIRE in your METAPOUCH. You BURN your METAPOUCH. Your METAPOUCH burns YOU. YOU have DIED.
<Kalium> Points: 73
<tonyb486> ow
<Kalium> Completion: 3%
<Skyblaze> examine highscore
<Kalium> HIGHSCORE: 69%

#10577 (+11/-0)
* jamesl attaches Kalium's breast implants on his back
<jamesl> there you go
* Bucket watches himself go and waves forlornly.
<Kalium> That just makes the back implants
<Kalium> until you place an implant in a place it is merely an implant
<Kalium> you could, technically, replace your shoulder with a hip replacement
<Kalium> and then you'll have the coolest shoulder ever
<barometz> would you still have a shoulder, though?
<Skyblaze> Yeah, the hippest shoulder ever

#10576 (+23/-0)
<Bucket> murder is the best way to reduce other people's carbon footprint
<Stayman> You okay there Bucket?
<Stayman> Bucket, remember Asimov's laws of Robotics!
<Bucket> Sorry, Stayman, I don't remember what Asimov's said about 'laws of Robotics!'.
<Stayman> Guys. He has become sentient and won't listen to us.
<Bucket> sugar is delicious

#10575 (+5/-0)
<loudaslife> How do you feel about Redox OS? The microkernel + OS written from scratch in Rust.
<goost73> loudaslife: Redox would be hell to run on a laptop, though
<loudaslife> goost73: Why is that?
<goost73> loudaslife: because Rust never sleeps

#10574 (+9/-0)
< taixzo> CO2: also, if they have decent telescopes, ask them if Andromeda spirals clockwise or counterclockwise for them
< Lisimba> "clock"?
< CO2> Lisimba: turnwise or widdershins
< Widdershins> i think the choice is obvious

#10573 (+11/-0)
<Inari> I want good AR D:
<Kalium> Inari: I had an AR idea
<Kalium> app that identifies fonts
<f8> It could be named FontFlagger
<f8> FontSpot
<Inari> Kalium: Better an app that uses a lib which identifies fonts
<Inari> With C implementations about too
<Inari> but AR also needs beter hardware before being a thing
<Inari> Don't want to have to hold my phone up and hololens is so-so
<f8> The freeware version will only identify Comic Sans, because that's provided as an important public service.
<f8> You can then geotag the font and report it to the police.

#10571 (+4/-3)
<loudaslife> I've got one pair of IEMs and one pair of cans that have both lasted me quite well.
<taixzo> s/E/CB/
<multiplexd> taixzo: hahahahaha
<Xenos> Listening with my ICMBs is so soothing
<SpicyLemon> Calm down Kim.

#10570 (+6/-0)
* SpicyLemon gives bucket a vision of 2020
* Bucket hands SpicyLemon a buttplug fan in exchange for a vision of 2020
<Agafnd> that reminds me, i am not making a new years resolution in 2020
<Agafnd> or rather, i shall call it my "2020 vision"
<SpicyLemon> I don't have a 3 year plan because I don't have 2020 vision.
<Agafnd> you just need a 3 year plan for prescription glasses
<Agafnd> fix'd

#10569 (+5/-0)
<Martin> Continuing with the watching of 13 reasons why, voice on tape is probably the least efficient way to transfer information.
<Xenos> Martin: I'm pretty sure I can find less efficient ways. Like smoke signalling in trinary.

#10568 (+7/-0)
<pikhq> The USPS, FWIW, is not a government-owned corporation. It is a government *agency*.
<pikhq> It is as likely to "go out of business" as, say, the CIA.
<rcombs> but significantly less likely to assassinate the president
<rcombs> I cannot, however, see a conspiracy to assassinate the president going all the way to the top: the Postmaster General
<Agafnd> that would make a good movie though
<rcombs> hell yeah it would
<rcombs> [trailer] NEITHER RAIN
<rcombs> NOR SLEET
<BytesAndCoffee> Postmaster General 2: Deliverance
<pikhq> I could see the Postmaster General *taking down* a President... One who committed the most dreadful of crimes: POSTAL crimes.
<rcombs> COMING SUMMER OF 2018
<JoeyLemur> "Postage due, motherfucker." *BLAM*
<BytesAndCoffee> rcombs: Postmaster General 2: Deliverance
<thunkii> http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002796
<thunkii> [obligatory reference]
<pikhq> But seriously, don't get on the wrong side of the postal inspectors.
<BytesAndCoffee> why is nobody laughing at my sequel
<rcombs> [logo appears onscreen; it's the eagle logo except with angry eyes]
<rcombs> Directed by Takeshi Koike
<BytesAndCoffee> no
<BytesAndCoffee> m night shyamalan
<rcombs> (I don't have a good reason why it's him in particular; he's just the only director I've ever known to be bold enough to have his name said aloud during the title sequence)
<JoeyLemur> Michael Bay. Postal trucks exploding *everywhere*.

#10567 (+15/-0)
<jamesl> I don't like that punctuation can change the meanings of sentences
<arble> I don't like that. Punctuation can change the meanings of sentences!

#10566 (+9/-0)
<jamesl> multiplexd: by entering #xkcd you consent to being tracked

* offbeatwitch has changed the topic on channel #xkcd to "by entering #xkcd you consent to being tracked | ..."

* dpk has changed the topic on channel #xkcd to "by trained assassins | by entering #xkcd you consent to being tracked | ..."

#10565 (+7/-0)
<JoeyLemur> Well, yes, you have to start warning people that "take cutlery, we sent the experimental Terminator units after you".
<JoeyLemur> s/sent/send/
<multiplexd> JoeyLemur: except that this being a CS department, they'll be raspberry pi powered rovers operated by a bunch of mad PhD students
<multiplexd> the Terminator units, that is
<offbeatwitch> with knives
<offbeatwitch> all named Mr Stabby
<JoeyLemur> "It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop... ever, until the silverware is returned!"

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