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#9931 (+5/-1)
<Oracle989> ferret: periscope or no?
<flyingferret> periscope
<Oracle989> Good call.
<feriority> are you making a submarine?
<Oracle989> ferret: casemate or turret?
<flyingferret> turret
<Oracle989> feriority: Remotely-operated watergun tank
<Oracle989> A periscope lets me keep the phone I'm using to operate it flat in the electronics bay, dropping the profile lower
<Oracle989> But is probably harder to use
* Oracle989 realizes what he's done
<Oracle989> This is a vehicle/"weapons" platform designed by ferret.
<feriority> Oracle989: stop enabling the robot overlords

#9926 (+20/-0)
<@Randall> man, I was thinking "I want to add some new webcomics to my rss reader, now that I'm back in the habit of reading it"
<@Randall> and it had "recommended comics" based on the kind of stuff I subscribed to
<@Randall> try to guess what its first recommendation was
<@Stereo> xkcd?
<@Randall> it clearly understood what kind of a person I was in general
<@Randall> if not what person I was, specifically

#9925 (+13/-0)
<rcombs> think adding some beef to light miso ramen would work well?
<amarble> adding some beef to $dish is rarely a bad idea
<rcombs> the beef is labeled "DW LONDON BROIL"
<amarble> London's a promising word
<amarble> no idea what DW is meant to mean
<rtmiu> i'll go the programmer road and say it means Double Word, so it can probably be finished in 4 bytes
<rtmiu> s/bytes/bites/
<rcombs> well that assumes you cooked your beef with an uncooled x86 processor
<rcombs> which is actually quite possible
<rtmiu> well, i doubt your beef came from an ARM

#9924 (+4/-3)
<njsg> discrete mathematics was when some mathematician said "I like numbers a lot, perhaps I should put rings on them?"

#9923 (+10/-0)
< Althir> Did you ever notice that "spam" and "scam" share all but one letter?
< Holzi> Althir: so does 'you' and 'out'
* Holzi points to the door

#9922 (+4/-3)
-!- Kazimuth [james@hide-570943E7.hsd1.ma.comcast.net] has joined #xkcd
< Kazimuth> ferret: go in or no?
< flyingferret> no
-!- Kazimuth [james@hide-570943E7.hsd1.ma.comcast.net] has quit [Client exited]

#9920 (+7/-2)
<@snark> "When are people going to stop dropping unnecessary game of thrones references at every fucking opportunity" "when the sun rises in the west and sets in the east, when the seas go dry and mountains blow in the wind like leaves"
<@Akrasia> I feel like that reference was pretty necessary
<@snark> yeah I guess

#9919 (+6/-5)
< TinFox> GOD DAMN IT FUCK OFF EVE I NEED HL2 TOMORROW
< TinFox> Steam is determined to ignore my attempts to put HL2 ahead of EVE in the download queue
< TinFox> it goes in "fuck you no I'm gonna swap to EVE now" order
< rtmiu> TinFox: would you say it has you *sunglasses* steamed?
< TinFox> rtmiu: XD

#9918 (+8/-2)
<yazdmich> ferret: roam around at the mall?
<flyingferret> Of course not.
<yazdmich> ferret: roam around at the mall getting samples?
<flyingferret> No way.
<yazdmich> ferret: roam around at the mall getting samples with a cup of coffee?
<flyingferret> Of course not.
<Lisimba> flyingferret: set fire to the mall and dance around the flames?
<flyingferret> Indeed.
<yazdmich> why does ferret hate the mall?
* Lisimba hands yazdmich a can of gasoline and some matches

#9916 (+4/-0)
<Bucket> death is an illusion but so is life
<snark> stop saying death bucket, use a different word, something that's good instead of death, something like uhh hamburger time
<barometz> .. hamburger time is an illusion? :(
<rcombs> "hamburger time is an illusion but so is life"
<snark> double double time doubly so

#9915 (+5/-0)
< WassPord> well, we're having a red dawn here, and it's rather creepy.
<@Shrdlu> well, you know what they say
<@Shrdlu> red sky in the morning, sailor's delight
< rcombs> erm, that's not what they say
<@Shrdlu> well, you know what they say
<@Shrdlu> red sky in the morning, rcombs gonna step on your joke
< rcombs> they *do* say that

#9914 (+6/-1)
-!- Foone820 [7a374f62@hide-EA88667A.org] has joined #xkcd
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-!- mode/#xkcd [+b *!*@hide-EA88667A.org] by mewyn
<@Shrdlu> mewyn: what, you're not curious? I was kinda wondering where that was going
<@mewyn> Shrdlu: Not really.

#9912 (+9/-1)
<@Frowardd> is there a named god of internet? or networking hardware?
<@Frowardd> There should be.
<Bucket> If you're in favor of it, then it's probably a bad idea.
<SpicyLemon> Frowardd: I think that's covered by Loki.

#9911 (+6/-0)
<@Akrasia> still a hundred thousand million billion degrees in here
<@Akrasia> i feel like it's a great night for skinny dipping
<@Akrasia> but i know from experience that the lake here is about 45 degrees
< Stereo> according to my calculations if half of you is 115 degrees and half is 45 degrees then you'll end up 80 which is quite nice
<@Akrasia> according to my calculations, if i skinny dip in 45 degree water at 3 am, i'll end up dead
<@snark> #yolo
<@Akrasia> yes and i'd like to continue doing so

#9910 (+6/-0)
< ladymondegreen> okay, people, i gotta hit the gay, i'm super tired
< ladymondegreen> hay, hay, hay
< ladymondegreen> i gotta hit the hay

#9909 (+6/-1)
* TenthDoctor (~The_Tenth@hide-417DDCE0.dhcp.umsl.edu) has joined #xkcd-tardis
<rcombs> TenthDoctor: we miss you, btw
<TenthDoctor> rcombs: Thanks, I appreciate that
<TenthDoctor> I didn't want to go...

#9908 (+8/-0)
< theobromine> I wonder what would happen if the 55 gallon drums of passion lube leaked....
<@Shrdlu> lube would probably come out
<@Shrdlu> ANOTHER MYSTERY SOLVED

#9907 (+10/-0)
<njsg> lost a fucking number
<njsg> gotta redo shit
<njsg> I literally lost a fucking digit
<Ferris> D:
<Althir> Go to the hospital IMMEDIATELY!

#9905 (+10/-1)
< tomatosalad> mmmmmmmm, I want garlic bread
< tomatosalad> or pizza
< frogg> garlic pizza
-!- ThatCube [18f012a0@hide-EA88667A.org] has joined #xkcd
< ThatCube> Hello?
< tomatosalad> and at that point I'd only cleaned up about half of the semen
< ThatCube> Nice try.

#9902 (+4/-2)
< Holzi> on another note: Go watch "Edge of Tomorrow"! good film!
< Branes> Holzi: Any relation to Edge Of Darkness?
< Holzi> Branes: it's both roughly 115 minutes long?
< Holzi> but apart from that: no

#9901 (+13/-1)
<@Akrasia> colleges should just hire wolfram alpha instead of teachers
<@Akrasia> it makes learning fun
<@snark> I did notice they have some kind of problem generator now
<@Akrasia> they'll also write things out in handwriting if you don't feel like copying the answers to your homework out by hand
<@snark> that's handy
<@Akrasia> for half a second i wasn't sure if that was pun intended or not
<@Akrasia> but then i realized it's snark
<@snark> I went through an identical experience while typing it

#9900 (+6/-1)
< rophl> nudism makes a lot of sense, financially speaking
<@barometz> rophl: until you factor in the fines
< tilt> And the heating costs

#9899 (+6/-0)
<@dyfrgi> wget -qO- http://getchrome > /dev/kmem
<@Stereo> if "wget http://getchrome" works i will be angry
<@dyfrgi> It will work as well as the rest of that command.
<@dyfrgi> Maybe better!
<@dyfrgi> In that the rest of your command will probably crash your computer

#9898 (+4/-1)
<logic> bored.
<Palomides> do something
<Palomides> surely you have some desire you might pursue
<Palomides> now is your moment

<Palomides> logic: it's been 15 minutes, what'd you do
<XanT> If they are doing what I usually do when bored then you might want to give them some quiet time ¬.¬

#9897 (+2/-2)
<Althir> Coincidence, that's all.
<Althir> If they had a way of knowing things like that, I'd get much more targeted spam. Like, against impotence or a small co- wait. Shit.

#9896 (+1/-0)
<WassPord> If an international #xkcd meet happened ... oh boy
<Xenos> WassPord: It'd probably end in an orgy or a massacre
<Xenos> WassPord: Or, disturbingly, both.

#9895 (+9/-0)
<crash_focus> Does Randall actually hang around here, or is his name just a ghost in the shell?
<Randall> ghost

#9894 (+10/-0)
< Caffeine> I store my data after the Squirrel Principle
< Caffeine> I dig it down somewhere before promptly forgetting where I put it.
<@barometz> Unfortunately, buried data doesn't grow into a tree
< Cheez> if it's binary data it can grow into a binary tree
< Rena> maybe you need a MySquirrel database

#9893 (+6/-0)
<crawfs> wolfbyte, I've never had an IT related job
<thomas0comer> crawfs, the first step is to get a job in customer service, to temper your hatred of the snivelling masses
<crawfs> thomas0comer, I work in retail that's fine
<thomas0comer> Ah, you're good for step one, then

#9891 (+8/-0)
-!- tomatosalad [tomatosala@hide-7DF518A2.lsanca.dsl-w.verizon.net] has joined #xkcd
< tomatosalad> Masturbating with icy hot is great balls of fire
<@relsqui> tomatosalad: if you don't immediately part after issuing that one-liner I will be forever disappointed in you
-!- tomatosalad [tomatosala@hide-7DF518A2.lsanca.dsl-w.verizon.net] has left #xkcd []

#9890 (+6/-0)
<@Randall> which involves trying to find words which suggest a whole bunch of things at once but don't actually specifically guarantee them and also don't infringe on trademarks
<@Stereo> nucler reactin: extra strength allergy symptom relief
<@Randall> safflower: the tongue dissolver
<@Randall> that one is named to distract people from what it does
<@Stereo> timbral: for real lumberjacks with real night time needs
<@Shrdlu> what-- what needs are those
<@Stereo> it's basically water with some electrolytes
<@Shrdlu> I'm not sure if that answers my question or not

#9889 (+3/-0)
<Stereo> the good news is, there is no good news
<Shrdlu> what's the bad news?
<Stereo> the bad news is i'm not a newscaster

#9886 (+16/-0)
< Freudian> I just saw a picture of a pregnant woman and thought "oh hey she's mpreg"
<@snark> what
< Freudian> I have been on the internet so long I forget people could be pregnant outside of awful slashfic
<@snark> now I'm imagining a universe where, after the apocalypse, it's up to you and your flawed understanding to repopulate the earth
< Freudian> I'm gay
< Freudian> so
< Freudian> welp

#9884 (+12/-0)
<rophl> mint, the #xkcd way is to initially give vague, contradictory answers, then derail the discussion over a disagreement about some minor point and eventually end up with everyone talking about the plausibility of sending kittens to Saturn

#9882 (+13/-0)
<@snark> actually I haven't been there in ages
<@snark> yup, still awful
< Spazz> "Yup Still Awful" wouldn't be a good name for a band
<@relsqui> that one would be pretty funny though
<@snark> I'd go to their concerts ironically
<@relsqui> unfortunately it turns out the name is completely unironic
<@snark> "how was the concert? better than last time?" "what do you think"

#9881 (+9/-0)
bassgoon: so the hottest lava in a volcano is barely as hot as the shuttle gets upon reentry...then why do the shuttles in star trek into darkness get messed up from being so high above a volcano...
mysss: bassgoon: magic space volcanoes?
bassgoon: that's actually...plausible

#9879 (+8/-1)
<DaMullet> why are you rendering a desk
<Althir> I've made the entire room, and now I'm filling it with, you know, stuff. And right now I'm working on the desk.
<Althir> As for the "But WHY?!", well, 3D is what I do.
<Althir> And it is, quite honestly, extremely satisfying to see things coming together like that.
<freelancer> I do 3D all the time. I call it real life.
<Althir> Eh, never got into it.

#9878 (+9/-1)
<+brouette> Kiwi
-moderator- brouette, you have been muted for 1 minute 4 seconds.
moderator sets mode -v brouette
moderator sets mode +v brouette
<+brouette> It was totally worth it.
-moderator- brouette, you have been muted for 4 minutes 16 seconds.
moderator sets mode -v brouette
<+JMcAfreak> That one was probably less worth it.

#9876 (+11/-3)
<fuhrer> Does Randall ever come here?
<~Randall> fuhrer: not really
<fuhrer> :(

#9874 (+4/-0)
<Randall> the Gillette Benley is sleek, light, and ultra-thin, with a matte finish and no buttons or screen.

#9873 (+12/-1)
< CO2> a jordanian actor actually died while recording a death scene.
< bhuddah> that's commitment.
< CO2> yup
< CO2> his last words were completely according to the script
< CO2> "bury me with your own hands"
< bhuddah> nevertheless i think he was overacting.
<@Lhyzz> bhuddah++
< Bucket> Bhuddah gained enlightenment!

#9872 (+9/-0)
<Althir> I saw a dead kitty on the way home just now.
<puddle> D:
<Althir> I didn't do it!
<Bucket> puddle did it, and loved every minute of it.
<Althir> WOAH BUCKET

#9871 (+14/-1)
<Eighty> as a lesbian, I would be very unsettled if I got jizz on me during lovemaking
<Eighty> there would be hard questions what needed answering
<tomatosalad> Eighty: "I keep a squirt bottle of it handy"

#9870 (+5/-4)
<ticamai> He was expelling blood from both ends.
<ticamai> Might be cancer.
<ticamai> and... He looks... absolutely terrible.
<Rena> oh dear.
<Bucket> That's going to take *ages* to fix.

#9869 (+12/-2)
< dingbat> Wow, I just realized what Apple's next peripheral connector will be called
< rabe> dingbat, iPort?
< dingbat> rabe: Thunderbolt, then Lightning, the obvious choice is clear
< rabe> dingbat, "plasma discharge"?
< dingbat> "Very Very Frightening. The even more advanced I/O ever. Standard on every Mac"
< Telo> dingbat: Two Galileo connectors as standard.
< rabe> dingbat, "very very frightning" too long
< rabe> VVF-bus maybe
< taixzo> rabe: nah, VV looks too much like W, apple wouldn't go for that
< rabe> taixzo, how about "figaro bus"
< dingbat> Telo: and after Galileo connectors: "Beelzebub: Even more advancedest I/O in forever of all time. Bring Satan to all your devices."

#9868 (+20/-0)
< seven> arble: those are some odd shoes to wear with those jeans!
< arble> they're portable and have no laces
<@Lhyzz> portable shoes? what will they think of next?
< seven> Lhyzz: haha.
<@Lhyzz> TIRED OF LUGGING YOUR SHOES AROUND WITH YOUR FEET?
<@Lhyzz> TRY NEW PORTABLE SHOES
<@Lhyzz> FROM SHOECO

#9867 (+33/-0)
< XMPPwocky> that lovely feeling when you typo a PID and kill returns successfully
< XMPPwocky> hope i didn't need 11713

#9864 (+12/-0)
<~aliaras> mfw improving the reference solution for a performance tuning class: :33333
< tt> :D
< tt> aliaras: do you feel relsqui-smug?
<~aliaras> tt: I feel most variants of smug
<@relsqui> rofl
<@relsqui> am I the reference-smug?
<~aliaras> relsqui: and how does that make you feel? :P
<@relsqui> aliaras: >___>

#9863 (+4/-2)
* neoinr changes topic to 'EFF needs your help, debs: https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2014/04/tech-volunteers-eff-needs-your-help | [snip]'
<neoinr> erm
* neoinr changes topic to 'EFF needs your help, devs: https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2014/04/tech-volunteers-eff-needs-your-help | [snip]'
<rtmiu> web + dev = deb
<@IceKarma> rtmiu, not quite... I think web + dev = dweeb ;33

#9861 (+25/-0)
<rophl> ugh, creme eggs are so unpleasant
<rophl> that liquidy stuff just tasted like diabetes
<rtmiu> rophl: it depends if you're ready for it or not
<rtmiu> rophl: were you prepared for the creamy explosion?
<rophl> I was ready, it was just gross
<rophl> plus it's just so messy, eating a creme egg is like getting hit with a candyland cumshot
dzamie (~dzamie@hide-97D9E912.phlapa.fios.verizon.net) has joined #xkcd
<rtmiu> rophl: my point regarding the *creamy explosion*
<dzamie> 'morning #xkcd
<rtmiu> dzamie: morning
<dzamie> rtmiu: I joined at the wrong time, didn't I?
<LLCoolDavie> It's not what you think it is, dzamie
<LLCoolDavie> we are talking about male orgasms
<dzamie> Oh, okay
<dzamie> I thought it was a pastry accident

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