#10480 ⇧ (+8/-0) ⇩
< alexxerth> I just heard the most insane story
< alexxerth> So there was this guy, he ran away when he was 16 to join monks in Rhode Island
< alexxerth> he stayed there for a few years before running away again to join the army in 1941
< alexxerth> But he didn't like the army, so he left, but since he was AWOL, he stole somebody's name, a buddy of his from the army, and tried to become a monk again. Then ran away again. Then tried to become a monk again. Then ran away again and joined the Navy, but faked suicide and stole somebody else's name.
< alexxerth> He became a professor of psychology, where he survived by reading a chapter ahead of the book he was teaching
< alexxerth> He then ran away again, worked at a sanitarium, ran away *again* and taught psychology again
< alexxerth> Then he was caught by the FBI, who threw him in a Disciplinary Barracks for 18 months for going AWOL, and then he was out, tried to become a monk again while also studying law at night
< permagreen> I had a feeling he would become a lawyer at some point in this story
< alexxerth> Then he ran away again
< alexxerth> He went to Canada this time, joined the Navy as a trama surgeon on a ship during the korean war
< alexxerth> *A fucking surgeon* with zero knowledge of surgery
< alexxerth> He makes it okay by improvising, no big issues....until sixteen combat casualties were loaded on to the boat, and he was the only surgeon on the boat
< alexxerth> One of them had been shot really close to the heart too
< nobody> fake it till you make it
< alexxerth> He ordered them prepped for surgery, and then ran away to his room to read a textbook on general surgery, and sped-read the parts on the surgeries he needed to do
< alexxerth> He saved all sixteen of them
< alexxerth> including the one with a bullet lodged near his heart
< The0x539> and did all sixteen of them become monks?
< nobody> wat
< nobody> dang
< alexxerth> He cut the ribs, bent them, removed the bullet, and put in coagulant gel
< alexxerth> His mantra here being "The fewer cuts you make, the less you have to patch up", which for a fake-surgeon I guess is good
< taixzo> man, he's a fast learner
< alexxerth> Anyways though, this was such an amazing event that it got put in the ship dispatches, which was a huge honor...but also gave him some unwanted publicity
< alexxerth> He couldn't exactly turn it down without being suspicious, so he let it go
< alexxerth> But then the mother of the person who's name he stole found out, and her real son was working in Canada still, so he contacted the authorities and they ordered him to be returned to Canada
< alexxerth> So the Captain of this boat just saw a man save sixteen people, some of who were on the verge of death, and he gets an order saying "That man's not a surgeon"
< alexxerth> of course he ignores it at first, but eventually he has to cave to the order and sends him to Canada
< alexxerth> But because he saved sixteen people, the canadian navy chose not to press charges, and all Canada did was just send him back to the US
< alexxerth> With his salary for the time worked.
< alexxerth> oh, also, he was born in 1921
< alexxerth> So this was *all* by the time he was about *30*
< alexxerth> In the US, he kept stealing names and doing random things, he became a monk again, he founded a fucking religion college that is now Walsh University, still exists
< permagreen> Dang, I haven't saved anyone in a surgery I am grossly underqualified for. I am so unaccomplished.
< alexxerth> In total, he was a ship surgeon, civil engineer, sheriff's deputy, deputy warden, a doctor of applied psychology, a hospital orderly, a lawyer, a teacher, a child-care 'expert', several different monks, an editor, and a cancer researcher