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#10501 (+11/-0)
< arble> I have one too but I need to actually grep for it
* grep is here to serve.
* tonyb486 pipes a lot of data through grep
* grep works very, very hard.
* taixzo is now picturing a linux console where the various commands become sentient and try to convince you to use them
< arble> have you tried GREP, John Anderton?
< grep> taixzo: Pick me! Pick me! I'm a good utility!
< tonyb486> are you BSD grep or GNU grep
< arble> but I need to copy files, not filter text
< tonyb486> or busybox or whatever the hell comes with solaris
< arble> convince me
* moony is now picturing a linux console where the various commands become sentient and try to convince you to use them as well
< taixzo> grep: but awk would be so much better for this task...
< grep> tonyb486: Why are you so eager to see my innards? I like being kept in one piece!
* moony doesnt use any of them, and writes everything he needs in Rust instead
< grep> taixzo: But... but... I'm good... at... finding... *sniffle*
* tonyb486 concludes that grep is actually cygwin gnu grep
* taixzo finally relents, runs <command> | grep ".*" | awk...
< grep> Wheeee!
< Vulpes> pretty sure that this actually exists as a harem anime
-!- moony is now known as mkfs
< tonyb486> cat /dev/urandom | grep '.' > /dev/null
< mkfs> :>
< taixzo> mkfs: that looks like a very evil smile
< mkfs> it just exploded
< mkfs> taixzo, I promise i wont make you have to run fsck /dev/sda6
< grep> taixzo: If you stop using me, then... then... you'll be saying I'm not a good command... You'll be using ack or ag. :(
< taixzo> grep: it's not you, it's me! I...have carpal tunnel...and ag is a shorter name...
* grep looks around feverishly...
< grep> W-what about... alias g=grep
< dd> You could just use dd. I can do things!
* mkfs cleans up dd's mess
* dd if=/dev/urandom of=`which mkfs`
-!- mkfs is now known as fsck
* fsck throws errors
-!- bassgoon is now known as du
* du -h . --max-depth=1
< taixzo> dd: but cp is so much more...unixy!
* dd if=`which grep` of=`which taixzo`
< dd> Bwahahahahaha!
-!- taixzo is now known as _bin_grep
-!- du is now known as ls
* ls |grep fsck
* grep wonders if grep registered grep.
-!- DHeadshot is now known as ed
-!- fsck is now known as dpkg
< ed> Why use grep? I can do a lot more!
< _bin_grep> Oh no, the commands have captured me! I am no longer a user!
< ls> lol
< ls> I prefer the ll alias myself...
< grep> ed: N-no... noo.... noooo.
< dd> Why use dpkg when you can just use me to overwrite your hard disk with a prepared image containing the packages you would like installed!
< ls> ed, what about red
< grep> /nick butterfly
< dpkg> dd, because what if they want to keep something from that disk. You can make a huge mess
< dpkg> ed, have you considered emacs being better?
* ed is a harder to use variant of edlin
< dd> Make a backup with me first!
-!- _bin_grep is now known as sudo
< dd> #problemsolved
< sudo> Ok, listen up dd, dpkg, and all you lot, you report to me now!
< ed> emacs is harder to run non-interactively. I can do both!
* dpkg implodes
-!- dpkg is now known as su
< su> sudo, :)
-!- dd is now known as chmod
< sudo> ...crap
-!- SpicyLemon is now known as chown
* chmod -s `which sudo`
-!- ls is now known as runlevel
< chown> Moooooooom! Rick's trying to steal all my stuff!
< chmod> It's okay, you just need to use me to set permissions!
-!- ed is now known as man
* su -c "dpkg --remove sudo"
< runlevel> lol
-!- Vulpes is now known as kill
-!- chown is now known as less
< chmod> It's okay I already removed his setuid bit. He's useless now, su.
* man doesn't understand runlevel
< less> Let me show you something!
-!- sudo is now known as taixzo
< runlevel> man, you can't do anything without me
< kill> -9 taixzo
< kill> betrayal!
< taixzo> aha! su rescued me!
< chmod> guys I forgot who I was initially
-!- CO2 is now known as git
* man is harder to use than info
* git pull
-!- man is now known as info
-!- systemd is now known as systemctl
* git clone taixzo
< systemctl> Fear me
* Bucket cowers
* chmod -x `which systemctl`
* info systemctl
< grep> That's the right response, Bucket.
* systemctl blocks chmod
-!- info is now known as rm
< taixzo> oh no
* rm -rf *
-!- runlevel is now known as init
* chmod kfjhsdkjfhasdkfhbsadv
* systemctl implodes
< init> master and commander
-!- rm is now known as nohup
* nohup sudo rm -rf /
* Bucket dissolves.
-!- init is now known as systemd
< systemd> but now I'm better than init
-!- systemctl is now known as shutdown
-!- nohup is now known as fireaxe
* fireaxe breaks machine anyway
* shutdown -P 0
< systemd> shutdown, I already covered init and runlevel...you're hardly needed
< shutdown> orly
-!- shutdown is now known as kernel
* kernel implodes systemd
< kernel> wow, our hour is already over?
< kernel> that devolved fast
< diog> well, can't do much after kernel implodes