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#130 (+47/-10)
<Cctoide> This is going to end with a special kind of poker.
<Cctoide> Whether it's 'strip' or 'cattle' is still up for discussion.

#129 (+13/-4)
<root> I'd still be standing there if it weren't for that janitor
<root> He bravely came along, flipped on the hallway lights and said 'What are you doing here!??!! We're closed!'

#128 (+0/-3)
<Cctoide> He looks like Master Chief with the helmet on
<f8> Master Shake
<Geese> MY NAME IS
<Cctoide> geese
<Geese> Oh yeah right

#127 (+1/-1)
* jon has joined #xkcd
<LE4dGOLEM|83> JON!
<jon> o hi
<LE4dGOLEM|83> j n
<LE4dGOLEM|83> o
<LE4dGOLEM|83> YOU ARE NOW AN EMOTICON
<morner> I DUB THEE: EMOTIJON

#126 (+26/-7)
< Katrie> http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k287/katrie_d/Me/DSC01133.jpg
< agilman> Katrie: DAMN GURL, I'd tap that
<%blorpy> agilman: the keyboard?
<%blorpy> heyo
< agilman> yeah man!
< agilman> asian girls don't like me :(
< agilman> Katrie: have you ever been with a gaijin before?
<%blorpy> uh, she doesn't look japanese
< Katrie> no, but that's not a Chinese term.
<%blorpy> this is probably why asian girls don't like you, agilman :P

#125 (+7/-0)
<Cctoide> SCANDAL AND DRAMA
* Cctoide revs up the livejournal
<Cctoide> <livejournal>*VROOOOOM VROOOOOM*
<Cctoide> <livejournal>*VROOOOOM*
<Cctoide> ... sorry.
<Cctoide> I forgot to take my mads
<%relsqui> lj so does not vroom
<%relsqui> I bet it's electric 8)
<Cctoide> it runs on goth teenagers
<%relsqui> s/goth/emo/
<Cctoide> it does 6 emos per post
<Cctoide> not bad fuel efficiency

#124 (+0/-1)
<Cctoide> Quotes that end in '...' = good
<relsqui> (it's worded a lot better than that)
<Cctoide> Like such:
<Cctoide> HEY RELSQUI, YOU HAVE DOWNS SYNDROME
<relsqui> ...
<Cctoide> \o/

#122 (+64/-12)
< Cctoide> I want a microwave oven that goes 'dun dun DONE'

#120 (+55/-11)
<Katrie> in one dream there were these really big crablike creatures
<Katrie> but they had legs like spiders
<Katrie> and I was wrestling with one
<Katrie> and one of them bit me in the ass.
<Katrie> :(
<Cctoide> I read sexuality into that.
<Glench> me too
* Cctoide high-freuds Glench

#118 (+15/-0)
<blorpy> stupid putty is like chin putty or silly putty. but not.
<mewyn> What's its bounce factor?
<blorpy> more bounce per ounce
<mewyn> That's a good factor.

#117 (+13/-0)
<%root> whine whine whine
<%root> bitch bitch bitch
<%root> moan moan moan
<%root> complain complain complain
<%root> I have the world's smallest lisp machine right here and guess who it's tail recursing for.

#116 (+75/-13)
< jon> 42/m/fbi

#115 (+37/-8)
< robt3hpirate> if anyone wants to see a good documentary, they should consider acquiring this film is not yet rated
< CodenameROFL> whats it about?
< robt3hpirate> the mpaa's rating system
< robt3hpirate> and things of that nature
< robt3hpirate> its good
< robt3hpirate> http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0493459/
< CodenameROFL> ok
< robt3hpirate> after i saw this i was like this is amusing, what other artform do they rate like this
< robt3hpirate> and music they sort of do it
< robt3hpirate> but a friend and i are like, we should go out and start rating books
< robt3hpirate> be like SORRY HARRY POTTER BUY YOU GET A PG-13 RATING
< robt3hpirate> *but
< robt3hpirate> it seems nuts too, that people would rate anything other than movies too
< robt3hpirate> but the logistics of rating books would suck
< robt3hpirate> i'd have to read a lot of books
< robt3hpirate> plus then i'd also rate religous texts
< robt3hpirate> and people would get angry
< robt3hpirate> cause when they are like the bible shouldn't be rated R
< robt3hpirate> i'd be like, they viscously tortured, beat, and killed a man
< robt3hpirate> how is that at all acceptable for children?
< robt3hpirate> plus you'd have to edit out mary magdalene
< robt3hpirate> sorry but prostitution is not acceptable

#113 (+44/-9)
<%schoofle> CSS isn't so powerful
<%schoofle> I mean, it's great and stuff
< bumbles> but you can't invade Poland with it.
<%relsqui> or CAN you ...
< bumbles> poland {
< bumbles> parent: third_reich;
< bumbles> }

#112 (+25/-5)
< Cctoide> I am looking forward to xkdvd

#111 (+377/-37)
<~xkcd> root: But I already have the brainware for solving a rubik's cube without thinking much, it's just shoe-tying
<~xkcd> in fact, I have conducted experiments wherein --
* xkcd covers shoofles ears
<~xkcd> -- I tried solving a rubik's cube while getting progressively more drunk
<%relsqui> :D did you take notes like 'two shots ... 5:25'02'
<~xkcd> yeah, I have a video :)
<~xkcd> and I found that even up to the point of near-passing-out, the drunkest I've ever been/ever plan to be, I could still solve it
<~xkcd> although I had a problem actually finding and picking it up

#110 (+69/-12)
<~xkcd> Weirdest xkcd notoriety thing yet: I had one of my best friends meet someone wearing an xkcd shirt, and he refused to believe she knew me
<~xkcd> and she was all 'we made out in high school!' and he was all 'yeah right'

#109 (+6/-2)
* f8 is now known as F11
* F11 means full screen.
* F11 is now known as f8
<AltF4> f8 needs f1...
* f8 hates f1
<f8> always jumping out in front of esc
<f8> causing help to annoy me
* xkcd is now known as SysRq
* SysRq is now known as xkcd
<f8> the least used key on my keyboard!

#108 (+13/-1)
<Socket7> women are just other people who happen to have dangily bits that i want to play with.

#107 (+114/-19)
<Cctoide> Your penis is so small, they're modeling a new iPod after it.

#106 (+173/-23)
< root> bangpaths are invalid, khmer. Learn @
< khmer> root: funny, your mother never told me bangpaths were invalid
< khmer> she definitely responded to ping
< Cctoide> Did you at least wrap your pipe before uploading your data, khmer?
< khmer> Cctoide: secure socks layer
< Cctoide> khmer: socks with putty?
< khmer> Cctoide: ssh tunnel
< root> ssh tunnel by proxy through my dad!
< root> pwned!
< f8> I tor into her
< khmer> DID YOU KNOW THAT SOMETIMES YOU CAN COMBINE COMPUTING TERMS AND SEXUAL INNUENDO???!???!?!???!?!??!?!

#105 (+24/-5)
< Cctoide> It's amazing how, more than ten years after IRC became widespread
< Cctoide> WE STILL LACK A DECENT CLIENT TO CLIENT FILE TRANSFER PROTOCOL
< root> Cctoide: Dude. What are you talking about
< root> we have kermit!
< root> kermit rocks!
< Cctoide> I meant DCC.
< root> Screw DCC! Use kermit!
< khmer> it's not easy being #00FF00

#102 (+14/-0)
< khmer> dd if=mydick.tar.gz of=/dev/yourbutt bs=a zillion

#101 (+12/-1)
* LE4dGOLEM|83 is in disguise
< Cctoide> LE4dGOLEM|83 is LE4dGOLEM!
-!- LE4dGOLEM|83 is now known as NO_IM_NOT

#100 (+4/-14)
< root> TOM CRUISE WISHES I ADMINISTERED TCP/IP OVER PARALLEL PORT TO HIM

#99 (+12/-1)
< root> welskee: Say, check kitten fud+h2o
<%relsqui> root: I don't highlight on 'welskee' but kay

#98 (+4/-1)
< LE4dGOLEM|83> is there a letter halfway between o and i?
<%relsqui> in French there is
< Cctoide> Oi!

#97 (+50/-10)
<%shoofle> sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet, I made the 512th post on the D'D forum!
<%relsqui> shoofle, that may be one of the nerdiest sentences ever

...

< vector40> <relsqui> I thought this was the nerdiest thing in the world: http://www.chiliahedron.com/xkcdb/?97
< vector40> now it is
<%relsqui> now it is?
< vector40> irc quoting irc quoting a website irc quote database of a nerd talking about d'd
<%relsqui> vector40: \o/
<%relsqui> I so wanna add your last couple lines to that quote
<%relsqui> recursive qdb
<%relsqui> now THAT'S nerdy
* relsqui does.

#96 (+16/-7)
< vector40> chicks - clothes = nananananananananananananananana BATMAN

#93 (+8/-1)
<%skat_> marcus fenix is sexy :x
<%skat_> am I the only person who thinks so? XD
* relsqui google image searches
<%relsqui> ... yes.

#92 (+13/-0)
< Cctoide> 'Need Another Seven Astronauts (after the 1986 crash of the Challenger Space Shuttle)'
< f8> wonder if anyone apllied
< f8> 'so, what happened to the last guy?'
< f8> 'he exploded'
< f8> !!!!
< f8> 'but you said 5 weeks of vacation?'
< f8> ...

#91 (+25/-6)
< Hero> GYAH
-!- Hero is now known as Takuya
< Takuya> Every. Time. Someone. Said. GUITAR HERO
< Takuya> O-o;
<%relsqui> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<%relsqui> oh that sucks
< Takuya> I was like
<%relsqui> but is hilarious
< Takuya> Why is my name being higlighted..
< Takuya> like 30 times in a second

#90 (+4/-3)
<Geese> I'd also like to nominate leadgolem for breaking my text alignment due to having an implausibly long nickname
* LE2007dGOLEM|83 is now known as LE4dGOLEM|83
<LE4dGOLEM|83> less horrific?
<blorpy> vulgar!
<yy2bggggs> Sure LE4dblabla
<Geese> Well actually it's a throback from when you were horribly merged with the channukah zombie
<Geese> My client likes to live in the past
<blorpy> i'm suing your client
<LE4dGOLEM|83> Like a time machine, but suckier?
<yy2bggggs> You can't just move the alignment line back to the left?
<Geese> Holy crap you can as well
<Geese> Undiscovered user interface bonus!
<yy2bggggs> Are you using xchat perchance?
<Geese> I am
<blorpy> i am not
<yy2bggggs> Kudos for not using mirc
<LE4dGOLEM|83> Geese: you mean to say I COULD HAVE KEPT the inclusive 2007 celebration in my name?
<Geese> Let me check
<blorpy> Geese thought he could use xchat to keep in touch with his ex
<yy2bggggs> I miss my ex a lot...
<yy2bggggs> But my aim is getting better
<Geese> Golem yes it was just the christmaskazoo that made things go wrong
<Geese> and actually I saw my ex only recently

#88 (+3/-3)
<blorpy> gooseface
<Geese> I can't help it :(
<LE2007dGOLEM|83> You should have stopped BEFORE you affixed the superglue to the goose
<LE2007dGOLEM|83> and then the superglue endowed-goose to your face
<Geese> The instructions were misleading
<blorpy> he shouldn't be kissing geese anyways
<blorpy> no matter how good their liver is
<Geese> I also think inserting prong A into slot B was a mistake
<LE2007dGOLEM|83> I think having 'prong's at all was a pretty bad idea...
<blorpy> prang prbng

#86 (+6/-0)
<Cctoide> I hate it when I go to the bathroom to do something and end up pissing
<JaggerG> does it, dare i say, piss you off?
<Xazlael> :O
<socket7> very punny

#85 (+75/-12)
(Geese) I suggest you check your timezone.
(Geese) It may be faulty.
(Ephphatha) no, I suggest you check your timezone
(Geese) It's GMT
(Geese) You don't want to mess with it
(Geese) Know why?
(Geese) 'cause it's MEAN time!

#84 (+7/-3)
<marty_the_monist> LE4dGOLEM|YouNeedntQuoteMyFull: let yourself go, write 'm'
<LE4dGOLEM|YouNeedntQuoteMyFull> nah, I'm not CRAZY like you marty
<LE4dGOLEM|YouNeedntQuoteMyFull> you should call your self Marty_the_CRAZY_monist
<marty_the_monist> okay.
* marty_the_monist is now known as marty_the_CRAZY_monist

#83 (+8/-5)
<skat_> the last time I drank any alcohol
<skat_> was on accident
<skat_> I don't remember whawt happened
<skat_> but
<skat_> I know I woke up naked and smelly
<o> thats hot skat_

#82 (+246/-30)
< LE4dGOLEM|83> 'In some cultures, semen is attributed with special properties of masculinity. For instance, among the Etoro people of Papua New Guinea, it is believed that young boys must fellate their elders and ingest their sperm to achieve proper sexual maturation.' O_O
< khmer> LE4dGOLEM|83: i learned that in anthropology class
< khmer> and secured my 4.0 in the process
< root> 'anthropology class'
< root> '4.0'
< khmer> i'm not so much coining specious euphemisms as i am suggesting that i blew my professor
* morner takes a step back from that comment
* morner admires it from various angles

#80 (+24/-7)
< blorpy> SpaceHobo: do christians have the same concept as jews and muslims with regard to the night being the first part of the day?
< SpaceHobo> blorpy: Eastern Christians do, but the former Roman Catholic folks use midnight
<%relsqui> that's an interesting thought--one could only really do that as long ago as there was timekeeping precise enough to reckon it.
< SpaceHobo> monasteries tended to use hourglasses which they would monitor, and ring bells
< SpaceHobo> that's why clocks have bells to chime the hours
< blorpy> and mentally ill disfigured men with spinal problems
< blorpy> who run those bells
-!- Glench [xinex@hide-A1D8BF8C.hsd1.ma.comcast.net] has joined #xkcd
< blorpy> speaking of mentally ill disfigured men with spinal problems
< blorpy> hi Glench

#79 (+21/-5)
< Glench> WHY AM I SO SICK???
< JaggerG> because you eat germ covered pudding.
< Glench> no I don't
-!- blorpy [emad@hide-A408FDE7.dsl.rcsntx.swbell.net] has joined #xkcd
< marty_the_monist> You can eat my germ covered pudding, baby.
< blorpy> ok
< blorpy> can you fedex it to me?

#78 (+15/-5)
<%relsqui> hahaha
<%relsqui> Title: Walkin On Sunshine
<%relsqui> Artist: Katrina and the Waves
<%relsqui> Comment: ITS TIME TO FEEL GOOD HEY

#77 (+6/-3)
< Andross> GUYS
< Andross> BUY ME STUFF
< Andross> I'll show you my boobs

#76 (+50/-15)
< khmer> root: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semen
< khmer> HALFWAY DOWN THE PAGE ON THE RIGHT
< khmer> AN ENTHUSIASTIC AND PRODUCTIVE *GNU*NIVERSE CITIZEN HAS HAPPILY CONTRIBUTED TO THE EFFORT TO FILL WIKIPEDIA WITH ONLY CREATIVE COMMONS PICTURES
< khmer> 'THE CLEAR AREAS HAVE BEGUN LIQUEFACTION'
< khmer> 'I JIZZED ON MY COUCH BECAUSE INFORMATION WANTS TO BE FREE'

#75 (+34/-8)
< morner> i was wikipedia'ing how to make crack the other day
< root> mmm...wiki
< morner> you need coca leaves and baking soda
< morner> damned if i know where to find baking soda these days

#74 (+13/-1)
< morner> the only thing i've been on longer than the internet
<%relsqui> crack.

#73 (+10/-1)
< Andross> I built a dick keyboard once
< Andross> cybering with it was far too exhausting
< ther3> and a bit sticky
< Andross> naw
< Andross> I had a reservoir tip for that
< Andross> it was a thrust based controller
< Andross> worked sort of like a rotary phone
< Andross> go in to the proper letter, and then pull back to input it
< Andross> you could go all the way in to backspace
< Andross> I could do about 50wpm, but then the tip burst...
<%relsqui> so it was a bit like playing a trom-bone 8)
< Andross> heh
< Andross> I wonder if I could build a Kegel-based controller for ladies

#72 (+47/-9)
< root> LOOK! SOMETIMES I PROGRAM WITH MY COCK! IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL

#71 (+5/-5)
<marty_the_monist> Linux is for fags.
<f8> which is why your here, right sweety?
<marty_the_monist> you're
<f8> amazing?
<f8> always right?
<shoofle> marty_the_monist: disagreement!
<marty_the_monist> Where, shoofle?
<LE4dGOLEM|83> marty_the_monist: Linux is for geeks, buttseks is for fags
<shoofle> I think that linux is not just for bundles of sticks, or for cigarettes.
<shoofle> LE4dGOLEM|83: no disagreement!

#69 (+9/-0)
<Katrie> I don't generally appreciate bawdy jokes :/
<Katrie> even if they concern vectors
<blorpy> Katrie: it was a body joke
<blorpy> HAW!

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