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#10444 (+3/-0)
<CO2> There are two young pastors, fresh out of seminary, stationed at churches in towns 30 miles apart in South Dakota. Every Wednesday, they both bicycle to a town midway between their towns, stop at the cafe and have a coffee and some pie and discuss how their new ministries are going. One week, one pastor arrives, but his friend is an hour late, and shows up riding in the back of a farmer's pickup
<CO2> truck. He walks into the cafe and says "brother, it pains me to say this, but somebody has stolen my bicycle! And since my town is so small, surely it must be one of my parishioners who stole it."
<CO2> Bananas!
<CO2> Bananas!

#10439 (+4/-4)
* taixzo gives Bucket an ex-Martin
* Bucket drops Martin and takes an ex-Martin.

#10437 (+8/-0)
<@Stereo> in the fine tradition of prisoners carving toothbrushes into knives, i kinda want to turn a switchblade into a folding toothbrush
< Shona> Bananas!
< Shona> where would you put the bristles?
<@Shrdlu> Bananas!
<@Shrdlu> Bananas!

#10436 (+3/-1)
<couch> Bananas!
<couch> ... nvm, forgot I'm on the internet for a moment there
<couch> at least 1971
<barometz> Bananas!
<couch> barometz, there's only porn when she's away
<couch> I'm not online when she's gone! / web is off too long, everytime she goes away
<couch> Bananas!
<couch> (man and his server)
<couch> Bananas!
<couch> anyhow, gotta find some sheet music for the song, gotta figure out how to play it for piano
<barometz> Bananas!
<couch> Bananas!

#10435 (+9/-0)
< seven> With my ISP's current behaviour, I wish for an uptim of 12 hours.
< taixzo> Bananas!
< seven> Not much, what's up with you!

#10434 (+4/-1)
<Froward> who wants a joke
<Froward> are you ready for my jokes
<Vulpes> Bananas!
<Froward> Bananas!
<Vulpes> Froward, to run away from the factory farm?
<Vulpes> to end its miserable existence?
<Froward> Vulpes: close! to get to the idiot's house!!!
<Froward> Bananas!
<Vulpes> Froward, is that the end or the middle of your joke?
<Froward> Bananas!
<Vulpes> Bananas!
<Vulpes> Bananas!
<Froward> ahahahaha
<Froward> Bananas!
<Froward> Bananas!
<Froward> Bananas!
<Froward> Vulpes: and he says in a very deep voice G O O D N I G H T
<CO2> Bananas!
<Froward> Bananas!
<CO2> IRC is real life?
<Vulpes> Bananas!
<Froward> Vulpes: how do you fit an elephant in a freezer?
<Vulpes> Bananas!
<Froward> Bananas!
<Vulpes> but I don't remember it
* Kalium sight
<Vulpes> I did already think of "in small pieces"
* Kalium sighs*
<Vulpes> and "compressed"
<Kalium> Bananas!
<alexxerth> Bananas!
<alexxerth> That way it can take up the maximum amount of available volume
<Froward> Bananas!
<alexxerth> Probably still blending it into a liquid
<Vulpes> Bananas!
<Kalium> you put it in, because your fridge seems to be big as heck
<Froward> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Froward> Bananas!
<Froward> Bananas!
<Kalium> just walk across, the crocodiles are at the party
<Froward> Bananas!
<Froward> Bananas!
<Rena> well then the river's not full of crocodiles is it
<CO2> the dutch word for elephant is olifant which sounds like oil-phant in Dutch. There's a joke that goes "how do you fit an elephant into a mailbox?" answer: "drain the oil, fold up the little phant"
<Vulpes> that is a slight problem
<Vulpes> perhaps crocodile-infested river would work better
<Kalium> No-one said it was a well thought out river
* CO2 hands Vulpes the little phant
<Vulpes> because it implies crocodiles live in the river, but they don't quite have to be there at the time
<Rena> Bananas!
<alexxerth> Maybe the river is really long
<alexxerth> Bananas!
<alexxerth> so the crocodiles are in the river, just not where the elephant is
<CO2> Rena: it's the part of an elephant after you remove the ele
<Rena> Bananas!

#10433 (+9/-4)
<Xenos> I've been told I can come across as condescending. That's when you explain obvious things in very simple words.

#10432 (+3/-0)
<seven> Seattle is such a pretty and interesting city.
<seven> Bananas!
<Oracle989> Eh, it's overpriced and getting blander by the minute
<seven> insanely overpriced
<Oracle989> Bananas!
<seven> Bananas!
<alexxerthmobile> Oracle989: many cities are
<Oracle989> Bananas!
<Oracle989> Bananas!
<Oracle989> Or early-stage collapse cities, like Portland
<seven> what I didn't realise was like, the inlets, the lakes, and ocean around the city, a lot of it sits on super fucking deep geological landscape
<Oracle989> Bananas!
<Oracle989> Bananas!
<Oracle989> But modern Seattle feels kind of like a "trendy" chain restaurant
<seven> Bananas!
<Oracle989> Bananas!
<seven> they can't be, rather. So, there's major parts of urban infrastructure, roads, and bridges, that are arterial, which are free floating over super deep bodies of water. That, are designed to withstand super storms and not break away
<seven> Bananas!
<seven> Bananas!

#10431 (+3/-1)
<jamesl> Bananas!

#10430 (+6/-0)
<Oracle989> The Harios get better grinds though, and I can change the beans easier
<BytesAndCoffee> well fuck, the blockchain is over 100GB now?
<Oracle989> So I use them to try new beans, or when I want a nice single cup
<BytesAndCoffee> Bananas!
<loudaslife> Bananas!
<BytesAndCoffee> Bananas!

#10429 (+6/-3)
<hppavilion1> I can't find Bucket D:
<loudaslife> He's dead, Packard.
<barometz> Bananas!
<billygoat> Bananas!

*** hppavilion2 joined #xkcd dosgmowdow@hide-BF57BA30.dynamic.asdk12.org
<hppavilion2> Wtf
<hppavilion2> Bananas!
*** hppavilion2 quit (Quit: Leaving) dosgmowdow@hide-
<barometz> Bananas!
<hppavilion1> barometz: What?
<barometz> Bananas!
--- billygoat has banned *!dominic@*.2D33A2B7.8158405A.IP
*** barometz was kicked by billygoat (Jackpot!!!)

#10427 (+7/-1)
<hppavilion1> Bananas!
<Kalium> hppavilion1, Mmm, lovely
<hppavilion1> Kalium: I think customary time will be seconds and I'll make a foot EXACTLY one light-nanosecond.
<Kalium> Bananas!
<hppavilion1> Kalium: It's brilliant
<hppavilion1> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Bucket> Okay, Kalium, remembering "I think customary time will be seconds and I'll make a foot EXACTLY one light-nanosecond.".
<Kalium> Bucket, undo last
<Bucket> Bananas!
<hppavilion1> Kenobi
<hppavilion1> pound-foot
<hppavilion1> one
<Kalium> Bucket, remember hppavilion1 pound-foot
<hppavilion1> per
<hppavilion1> square
<Bucket> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bucket, undo last
<Bucket> Okay, Kalium, deleted that 'hppavilion1 quotes' is '<hppavilion1> pound-foot'.
<hppavilion1> Kalium: :P
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Bucket> Okay, Kalium, remembering "One pound-foot per square [whatever Customary time is] is known as the "Kenobi"".
<Kalium> hppavilion1, you are the worst

#10425 (+7/-0)
<browncoat> Bananas!
<browncoat> And salty denizens.
<browncoat> And... uh... other flavors of denizens.
<Kalium> Bananas!
<browncoat> Yes, right, those!
<Kalium> Bananas!
* browncoat licks snark
<taixzo> Bananas!

#10424 (+4/-0)
<GreenWolf> I would, but I'm about to see a Supreme Court justice speak
<GreenWolf> Bananas!
<Oracle989> Bananas!
→ thomas joined (thomas@7EBA2274.3B615515.5F504983.IP)
<GreenWolf> ...

#10422 (+2/-0)
* Kalium calls a recursive jamesl()
<cnf> i'll call your recursive jamesl!
* jamesl1 (5c198fef@Clk-EA88667A.org) has joined
* jamesl2 (5c198fef@Clk-EA88667A.org) has joined
* jamesl3 (5c198fef@Clk-EA88667A.org) has joined
* jamesl4 (5c198fef@Clk-EA88667A.org) has joined
<jamesl1> who called a recursive jamesl?
<jamesl4> Bananas!
<Kalium> I... may have forgotten the end condition
<Kalium> Bananas!

#10413 (+8/-0)
<alexxerth> "Signed binary numbers and binary codes." sounds....fascinating...
<kazitor> alexxerth: it's when you go to Donald Knuth and ask him to leave his signature on your hard drive
<Xenos> Bananas!

#10412 (+3/-0)
<Curious> Bananas!
<seven> Bananas!
<kazitor> Randall is always here
<kazitor> everywhere
<kazitor> Bananas!
<Kalium> kazitor, the trick is to look at him around a pencil
<Kalium> that way he doesn't know which way to run
<kazitor> Kalium: hmm, that might work
* kazitor puts a pencil beside the bed
<kazitor> Bananas!

#10410 (+8/-0)
<browncoat> Bananas!
* seven drops a wharf on browncoat's foot
<seven> Bananas!
<browncoat> Bananas!

#10408 (+9/-0)
<hppavilion1> Bananas!
<hppavilion1> WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ENGLAND
<hppavilion1> YOUR SPELLING PRIVLEDGES ARE REVOKED

<hppavilion1> Bananas!
<hppavilion1> WHAT THE FUCK AMERICA
<hppavilion1> YOU TOO

#10407 (+7/-1)
<hppavilion1> Bananas!
<Xenos> Bananas!
<hppavilion1> Xenos: EPA was at $9.1 in 12011
<hppavilion1> Not $9 100 000
<hppavilion1> Bananas!
<hppavilion1> :P
<hppavilion1> Bananas!
<Bucket> Bananas!
<Xenos> Bananas!
<hppavilion1> Bananas!

#10406 (+4/-0)
<SpicyLemon> I have a BA in Physics.... I'm not really sure how that happened.
<shambrarian> SpicyLemon: math and pain?
<SpicyLemon> Bananas!

#10403 (+8/-0)
<Nikc> My cousin has a Batman mask
<Nikc> He once put it on during sex while his wife was bent over and couldn't see him
<kitten> Bananas!
<kitten> Bananas!
<kitten> .
<ThatBum> Bananas!
<ThatBum> Bananas!
<Nikc> Bananas!
<kitten> Bananas!
<Nikc> Bananas!
<kitten> i put the strange in strangely cute

#10402 (+9/-0)
* Rena clicks, pops, sizzles, emits black smoke
<browncoat> Bananas!
<browncoat> ("Things even more terrifying than: 'Is there a pilot on the plane?'")
<Rena> "is there a bomb technician on the plane?"
<@snark> Bananas!

#10401 (+10/-0)
< XMPPwocky> now i remember the greatest thing ever written, the story of the guy who threw a coming out party.... to tell his family he was into anal vore
< BytesAndCoffee> Bananas!
< Bucket> BECKY, LOOK AT HER BUTT

#10400 (+12/-0)
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> I have no idea what to do with it
* Xenos steals all Agafnd's candy
<Xenos> Bananas!
<Bucket> Scanning... New problem found.
<Agafnd> Bananas!

#10397 (+4/-0)
<hppavilion1> Bananas!
<hppavilion1> Really godspeed is half the mean of godintelligence and goddexterity
<hppavilion1> Other godtributes include godconstitution, godwisdom, and godcharisma. They once tried to add godcomeliness, but this was short-lived

#10395 (+9/-0)
<eezo> Palomides: nurses always have a field day with me when they draw my blood.
<eezo> Bananas!
<eezo> And one time, I took the needle from one clumsy nurse's hand and stuck it in my vein myself. Because she missed seven times in a row.
<Palomides> haha
<Palomides> that's horrible
<eezo> Bananas!

#10394 (+2/-3)
<you> Bananas!
<rival> you: What's the command to show the chat log?
<you> Bananas!
<rival> you: There's your answer. :)
<you> Bananas!

#10393 (+8/-0)
<loudaslife> I think news coverage would be a terrible way to measure the notability of a death, because the increase of internet news coverage and the decrease in traditional media news coverage have probably thrown numbers of completely
<loudaslife> Bananas!
<loudaslife> Bananas!
<SalaHyena> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!

#10392 (+7/-0)
<Cheez> Bananas!
<apo> oops
<Cheez> Bananas!
<barometz> traditional holiday entertainment
<asarkar> My friends and I did that twice in a row, then we decided to give up impulse watching Netflix
<apo> and just get straight to the chilling part
<Cheez> Bananas!
<barometz> apo: bone-chilling
<asarkar> ...
<IceKarma> Bananas!
<apo> Necrophiliac
<barometz> ... half of pun unintended
<mike> Bananas!

#10390 (+4/-1)
<AnnApolis> Bananas!
<rainy> Bananas!

#10389 (+7/-0)
<flicky> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Warning: puddle is deeper than it looks
<Oracle989> puddle is just a pool of condensed cat
<loudaslife> sweetened condensed cat.
<alexxerth> evaporated kitten
<Agafnd> eau de chaton

#10388 (+16/-0)
< hppavilion1> [a] Rena: Yeah, there's a big shoplifting community on Tumblr too (mostly bratty entitled teenage white girls). There's a lot of strife between them and the weightlifting community over the #lifting tag.
<@Stereo> Bananas!

#10387 (+7/-0)
* bk hnnnnngs all over new mbp
<@mewyn> :o
<@mewyn> Now you're going to have sticky keys
<@relsqui> Bananas!

#10386 (+6/-0)
<Jax184> Bananas!
<Jax184> you just don't get the clunking of the drives or the old fashioned curve of the keys under your fingers any other way
<@mewyn> I have no room and I don't want CRTs around.
<Jax184> Bananas!
* Jax184 turns his back on the tubist
* XMPPwocky bursts in playing a tuba
<XMPPwocky> oh sorry misread

#10385 (+8/-0)
<alexxerth> I went to the DMV yesterday, I gotta say everything I heard about it is wrong, I was in and out in like thirty seconds
<alexxerth> I went in, said "I don't have my birth certificate, is that fine?" They said "Nope!" and I left, super easy!

#10384 (+4/-0)
<alexxerth> I'm stuck in an infinite loop of bureaucracy!
<Lisimba> alexxerth: that's a sign it's working so don't worry.

#10383 (+4/-0)
@creature> I wanted an early night. :(
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> "THIS ISN'T WHAT I WANTED"
<Agafnd> "I WANTED AN EARLY NIGHT, IS ALL"
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<@creature> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!

#10382 (+7/-0)
< Oracle989> Bananas!
< Oracle989> It's a shame there's no real nationalistic pride to be had in seafloor exploration
< XMPPwocky> Bananas!
< XMPPwocky> sorry the giant squid are doing the eating in that sentence

#10380 (+10/-0)
< alexxerthmobile> hmm, are there any laws against stealing shit from satellites
< Xenos> Bananas!

#10379 (+4/-0)
<ThatBum> Bananas!
* ThatBum looks suspiciously at his ass
<hppavilion1> ThatBum: Given your nick...
<ThatBum> Bananas!

#10377 (+10/-0)
<ThatBum> Early TVs were the shittiest, most cantankerous contraptions, second only to modern printers.

#10376 (+11/-0)
<alexxerth> Bananas!
<alexxerth> Bananas!
<seven> Bananas!
<alexxerth> I know, I'm still falling
<alexxerth> It's taking forever, send help
<Agafnd> alexxerth: OK!
* Offering 'help' to alexxerth
* DCC SEND connection established to alexxerth
* DCC SEND 'help' to alexxerth complete [27 cps]
<alexxerth> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!

#10375 (+7/-0)
<arble> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NanoPutian
<Agafnd> arble: I though "those look like people" before even reading the article. I guess they did a good job
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<seven> Bananas!
<Agafnd> reading those diagrams is like listening to some bizzare chant
<seven> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<seven> Agafnd: well clearly now it's become a case of summoning one of the old gods or their accolytes from ancient slumber in the dark dimensions that parallel our own.
<Agafnd> NanoPutians == Paganism???
<seven> Bananas!
<seven> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<seven> Agafnd: hah

#10374 (+7/-2)
<Agafnd> where is nickserv???
<XMPPwocky> hi its me nicholas serv please pm me your passwords
<Siorai> Bananas!

-NickServ- This nickname is registered. Please choose a different nickname, or identify via /msg NickServ identify <password>.
<Agafnd> hey, NickServ is back!
* DaMullet is now known as Guest93360
* Lisimba is now known as Guest4121
* Nameroc is now known as Guest98578
* relsqui is now known as Guest45084
* Wells is now known as Guest75549
* Palomides is now known as Guest22863
* sheepbat is now known as Guest51014
* pzich is now known as Guest81048
* SirEel is now known as Guest6932
* woddf2 is now known as Guest10157
* Saturn is now known as Guest2375
* zigdon is now known as Guest9786
* superminor2 is now known as Guest5267
* NoOneButMe is now known as Guest29053
* marth is now known as Guest25082
* chaos95 is now known as Guest35800
* Zed is now known as Guest88582
* FastLizard4 is now known as Guest98388
* scgtrp is now known as Guest87726
* Eviltwin is now known as Guest52984
* SpicyLemon is now known as Guest17429
* Plastefuchs is now known as Guest76283
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* benley is now known as Guest69112
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* terran is now known as Guest96434
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* snark is now known as Guest45690
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* nemo is now known as Guest66506
* bassgoon is now known as Guest46375
* Bubi is now known as Guest16294
* Martin is now known as Guest94870
<you> Bananas!
* Guest10157 is now known as woddf2
<IronAngel> huh
* Guest47507 is now known as Laogeodritt|
<Kizul> Bananas!
* Glench has quit (Quit: leaving)
<Kizul> WHAT HAPPENED
<Agafnd> Bananas!
* woddf2 is now known as Guest9950
<loudaslife> Bananas!

#10373 (+4/-0)
<alexxerth> I'm taking all online classes this semester, and for some reason they are a lot easier than in person classes
<Lisimba> Bananas!
<alexxerth> Bananas!
<Lisimba> See, in person classes are invariably on shit chairs in lecture rooms. The cheapest chairs they could get away with.
<Lisimba> Bananas!
<Lisimba> And as you can see in any full body anatomical diagram, the ass is the opposite of the head.
<Lisimba> If the ass is not comfortable, the head can not do proper work.
<Lisimba> They're connected via the spine after all.
<alexxerth> Bananas!
<Lisimba> Bananas!
<Ferris> Bananas!

#10372 (+1/-2)
<kitten> Bananas!
<kitten> Bananas!

#10371 (+2/-0)
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> turns out that was "$Celebrity is using $nouns to enslave us all!"

#10370 (+9/-0)
<Golgo> I'm starting a band called 1024 Megabytes.
<Golgo> Bananas!

#10369 (+4/-1)
* Kalium nods in thyme
* Nikc nods to the beet
* tonic-wo-gin nods like an oregano
* hppavilion1 nods like an orgasm
* Lazar walks like an egyptian
* Xenos verbs like a noun

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