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#10596 (+1/-0)
<XanT> Gonna have to start spray painting the grey squirrels.
<XanT> Bananas!

#10593 (+7/-0)
< CO2> Bananas!
<@barometz> Bananas!
< Telo> Bananas!
< CO2> Bananas!
< taixzo> Bananas!
<@barometz> taixzo: the one that goes with a bolt
< taixzo> Bananas!

#10591 (+4/-0)
<Bucket> Bananas!
<StarfishPrime> >tfw you meet someone who does not compile at boot time
<BytesAndCoffee> Bananas!
<BytesAndCoffee> >TFW you meet someone who doesn't recompile each program before running it
<StarfishPrime> >tfw you meet someone who doesn't JIT their C
<Palomides> Bananas!
<Kas> Bananas!
<BytesAndCoffee> Bananas!
<StarfishPrime> Bananas!
<StarfishPrime> I have a warehouse filled with 480 TB of core memory, so I can use butterflies to patch in RAM

#10590 (+7/-0)
<gtrmtx> Bananas!
<gtrmtx> .
<gtrmtx> Bananas!
<jamesl> Bananas!
<gtrmtx> Bananas!
<Oracle989> .
<jamesl> .
<Oracle989> .
<gtrmtx> .
<loudaslife> Bananas!
<King_Hual> what the fuck is wrong with you
<Oracle989> Seriously loudaslife we are living in a society
<jamesl> what the hell dude
<jamesl> you can't just say that
<Oracle989> Bananas!

#10589 (+2/-0)
* Xenomorph gives SpicyDemon candy corn
<SpicyDemon> Bananas!

#10588 (+1/-0)
<COBoo> Bananas!
<COBoo> they cant help having papyrus

#10587 (+1/-1)
<Agafnd> is nickserv dead again?
<Boom_Farmer> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!

#10586 (+3/-1)
* multiplexd gives Bucket lots and lots of boredom
* Bucket hands multiplexd toxins in exchange for lots and lots of boredom
* multiplexd yelps
* multiplexd gives Bucket toxins
* Bucket hands multiplexd a gay spider in exchange for toxins
<multiplexd> ...
<Bucket> Bananas!
<multiplexd> Bananas!
<multiplexd> i'm okay with small ones
<Lisimba> Bananas!
<multiplexd> oh SHIT
<Bucket> Bananas!
* multiplexd gently puts the gay spider down and backs away slowly

#10585 (+2/-0)
* CO2_work pushes jamesl to github
<jamesl> pls CO2_werk
* Xenos pulls jamesl from github
* CO2_work makes a pull request for jamesl
<jamesl> merge changes?
<CO2_work> Bananas!
* jamesl mergs
<Xenos> Bananas!
* Xenos makes some minor modifications to jamesl for the betterment of jameslkind
<jamesl> segmentation fault
* Xenos pushes jamesl to git again
<jamesl> Xenos, why do I now have a tail?
<Xenos> jamesl: Balance
* CO2_work forks jamesl
<jamesl> Bananas!
<Xenos> jamesl: Taste
<jamesl> Bananas!
<Xenos> jamesl: Bug
<jamesl> I have CO2's mind
<jamesl> Bananas!
<Bucket> "I Am CO2" would be a nice name for a rock band.
<jamesl> Bananas!
* Xenos gives CO2 a bigger fork
* Xenos also sharpened it first
<jamesl> wait shit, I'm a software developer
<jamesl> help
<jamesl> Bucket, IRC programming advice
<Bucket> Bananas!

#10583 (+3/-0)
* asarkar gives Bucket The Grand Inquisitor
* Bucket is now carrying The Grand Inquisitor, but dropped next week.
<multiplexd> Bananas!
<Xenos> Bananas!

#10582 (+3/-2)
*N* God is now known as Xenos
<multiplexd> God has descended unto the earth as a mortal man!
<Xenos> *alien
<multiplexd> ugh
<multiplexd> fine
<multiplexd> Bananas!
<multiplexd> there
<multiplexd> Bananas!
<Xenos> *immortal
<Xenos> Bananas!
<Xenos> *immoral
<Xenos> Bananas!
<multiplexd> fucksake Xenos
<multiplexd> God has descended unto the earth as an immoral alien!
<multiplexd> we done now?
<Xenos> Getting closer
<Xenos> *Not actually God
<multiplexd> Not actually God has descended unto the earth as an immoral alien?
<Xenos> Bananas!
<Xenos> Bananas!
<multiplexd> okay
<multiplexd> that's cool

#10581 (+14/-0)
< Kalium> Bananas!
< Bucket> Bananas!
< Kalium> Bananas!
< Kalium> I wonder what the split on those factoids is
< BytesAndCoffee> Bananas!
< Bucket> Okay, BytesAndCoffee.
< taixzo> Bananas!
< taixzo> if you differentiate them again, you get acceleraptors which are simply terrifying
< jamesl> velociraptors are speedraptors travelling in a particular direction
< Vulpes> Bananas!
< Vulpes> do you get jerkraptors?
< Stayman> Bananas!
< BytesAndCoffee> Bananas!
< Stayman> absolute jerks. The lot of them.
< Vulpes> jerkraptors make videos on youtube where they sexually harass women and say it's a "prank"
< Vulpes> Bananas!
-!- taixzo changed the topic of #xkcd to: Fuck jerkraptors | Happy Leif Erikson Day | Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! | AOL Instant Messenger shutting down on
December 15 | RIP AIM | http://www.spacex.com/webcast | Freeze peach hour | It’s use the wrong homophone hour | pikhq, our surviving descendant of The
Dictionary Wars; word | The waiting was
< BytesAndCoffee> i love how we got from a LAR quote to "Fuck jerkraptors"
< Stayman> Bananas!
* Kalium cracks a snapraptor and shakes it until it starts to glow
< Stayman> They're like snapdragons but much more terrifying.
< BytesAndCoffee> Bananas!
< jamesl> Bananas!
< taixzo> Bananas!
< taixzo> Bananas!
< Vulpes> also Taylor Swift is a secret poprap- dammit taixzo
< jamesl> Taylor Swift is not only a raptor, but an awful singer
< Vulpes> Bananas!
< Vulpes> Bananas!
< Vulpes> Bananas!
< jamesl> the old Taylor can't come to the phone, because she's unable to pick up the handset due to a lack of thumbs
< Vulpes> jamesl, that requires some form of fanart really
< Vulpes> Bananas!
< jamesl> the raptor has Taylor Swift's hair, but a raptor's head
< Vulpes> also has some kind of Taylor Swift type dress of course
< Vulpes> 45 minutes ago: a velociraptor is the differential of a positiraptor
< Vulpes> now: this shit

#10579 (+14/-0)
<rcombs> Bananas!
<rcombs> …wait
<rcombs> https://twitter.com/11rcombs/status/918355624387383296 I can't believe this website is free

#10578 (+3/-0)
<@barometz> Skyblaze: a bird flies into your room
<jamesl> Bananas!
<jamesl> this is for dramatic effect
<Skyblaze> barometz, uuh. GO NORTH.
<jamesl> CAW CAW
<Skyblaze> examine bird
<jamesl> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> take bird
<jamesl> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<tonyb486> Bananas!
<tonyb486> Are you black squirrel?
<Skyblaze> Bananas!
<Kalium> https://c.eev.ee/dont-eat-cactus/play.html < A simple Inform 7 game
<jamesl> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> jamesl, eat bird
<Stayman> Bananas!
<Kalium> You try to eat the bird, but it breaks free! CAW CAW.
<Skyblaze> examine surroundings
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<tonyb486> z-code
<tonyb486> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> follow tonyb486
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> Bananas!
<Kalium> There are paths leading: NORTH, SOUTH, EAST
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> climb tree
<Skyblaze> take berries
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Bren64zz> ...what is happening here?
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> Bananas!
<tonyb486> eat bear
<@barometz> Bananas!
<Kalium> Skyblaze: You are in the TREE. Below you can see: BEAR, TREE
<@barometz> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> throw 1 berry at bear
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> examine berries
<tonyb486> TAKE SHIA LABEOUF
<Skyblaze> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<tonyb486> kill berries
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> talk to bear
<Kalium> Bananas!
<tonyb486> face
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Kalium> You are now BLUE
<Skyblaze> examine bear
<Kalium> You have lost ELEVEN (11) BERRIES
<tonyb486> look at bear with face
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> Wait, are we playing the same game?
<Kalium> You now have BERRY PULP
<Skyblaze> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<tonyb486> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> DAMNIT TONY YOU WASTED THE REST OF MY BERRIES
<Kalium> Bananas!
<tonyb486> Bananas!
<tonyb486> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<tonyb486> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> reply "I am colourblind Mr Bear"
<Kalium> The BEAR is FLATTERED and offers you a LADDER
<tonyb486> kill ladder with face
<Skyblaze> Bananas!
<Kalium> You now have a LADDER.
<Skyblaze> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<tonyb486> kill ladder with face
<Stayman> Bananas!
<tonyb486> Skyblaze: have you tried not eating the cactus?
<Kalium> tonyb486: There is no LADDER here
<tonyb486> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<tonyb486> Bananas!
<Kalium> You WIPE your FACE with your ARM. You can see colours again.
<Skyblaze> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> Bananas!
<Kalium> The BEAR is WHITE. As is everything else.
<Skyblaze> tell bear "white"
<tonyb486> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> follow bear
<jamesl> ACCEPT TEA
<Kalium> You FOLLOW the BEAR
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Kalium> You can see: BEARS
<Kalium> Bananas!
<tonyb486> Bananas!
<Kalium> BAG
<Kalium> FIRE
<tonyb486> take fire
<Skyblaze> offer bears berry pulp
<jamesl> Bananas!
<Kalium> tonyb486: You try to take FIRE. You put FIRE in your METAPOUCH. You BURN your METAPOUCH. Your METAPOUCH burns YOU. YOU have DIED.
<Kalium> Bananas!
<tonyb486> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> examine highscore
<Kalium> Bananas!

#10577 (+8/-0)
* jamesl attaches Kalium's breast implants on his back
<jamesl> Bananas!
* Bucket watches himself go and waves forlornly.
<Kalium> That just makes the back implants
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Kalium> and then you'll have the coolest shoulder ever
<barometz> Bananas!
<Skyblaze> Yeah, the hippest shoulder ever

#10576 (+13/-0)
<Bucket> Bananas!
<Stayman> You okay there Bucket?
<Stayman> Bucket, remember Asimov's laws of Robotics!
<Bucket> Bananas!
<Stayman> Guys. He has become sentient and won't listen to us.
<Bucket> sugar is delicious

#10575 (+4/-0)
<loudaslife> How do you feel about Redox OS? The microkernel + OS written from scratch in Rust.
<goost73> Bananas!
<loudaslife> goost73: Why is that?
<goost73> Bananas!

#10574 (+8/-0)
< taixzo> Bananas!
< Lisimba> Bananas!
< CO2> Lisimba: turnwise or widdershins
< Widdershins> Bananas!

#10573 (+8/-0)
<Inari> Bananas!
<Kalium> Inari: I had an AR idea
<Kalium> app that identifies fonts
<f8> It could be named FontFlagger
<f8> FontSpot
<Inari> Bananas!
<Inari> Bananas!
<Inari> Bananas!
<Inari> Don't want to have to hold my phone up and hololens is so-so
<f8> The freeware version will only identify Comic Sans, because that's provided as an important public service.
<f8> Bananas!

#10571 (+3/-3)
<loudaslife> I've got one pair of IEMs and one pair of cans that have both lasted me quite well.
<taixzo> Bananas!
<multiplexd> Bananas!
<Xenos> Listening with my ICMBs is so soothing
<SpicyLemon> Bananas!

#10570 (+6/-0)
* SpicyLemon gives bucket a vision of 2020
* Bucket hands SpicyLemon a buttplug fan in exchange for a vision of 2020
<Agafnd> that reminds me, i am not making a new years resolution in 2020
<Agafnd> or rather, i shall call it my "2020 vision"
<SpicyLemon> I don't have a 3 year plan because I don't have 2020 vision.
<Agafnd> you just need a 3 year plan for prescription glasses
<Agafnd> Bananas!

#10569 (+3/-0)
<Martin> Bananas!
<Xenos> Martin: I'm pretty sure I can find less efficient ways. Like smoke signalling in trinary.

#10568 (+5/-0)
<pikhq> Bananas!
<pikhq> It is as likely to "go out of business" as, say, the CIA.
<rcombs> Bananas!
<rcombs> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<rcombs> hell yeah it would
<rcombs> [trailer] NEITHER RAIN
<rcombs> Bananas!
<BytesAndCoffee> Postmaster General 2: Deliverance
<rcombs> NOR SNOW NOR HEAT
<pikhq> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<rcombs> Bananas!
<BytesAndCoffee> YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS THIS DELIVERY
<JoeyLemur> "Postage due, motherfucker." *BLAM*
<BytesAndCoffee> rcombs: Postmaster General 2: Deliverance
<thunkii> http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=002796
<thunkii> [obligatory reference]
<pikhq> Bananas!
<BytesAndCoffee> Bananas!
<rcombs> UNITED STATES POSTAL SLAUGHTER
<rcombs> Bananas!
<rcombs> Bananas!
<BytesAndCoffee> no
<BytesAndCoffee> Bananas!
<rcombs> Bananas!
<JoeyLemur> Michael Bay. Postal trucks exploding *everywhere*.

#10567 (+11/-0)
<jamesl> I don't like that punctuation can change the meanings of sentences
<arble> Bananas!

#10566 (+7/-0)
<jamesl> Bananas!

* offbeatwitch has changed the topic on channel #xkcd to "by entering #xkcd you consent to being tracked | ..."

* dpk has changed the topic on channel #xkcd to "by trained assassins | by entering #xkcd you consent to being tracked | ..."

#10565 (+5/-0)
<JoeyLemur> Bananas!
<JoeyLemur> s/sent/send/
<multiplexd> JoeyLemur: except that this being a CS department, they'll be raspberry pi powered rovers operated by a bunch of mad PhD students
<multiplexd> Bananas!
<offbeatwitch> Bananas!
<offbeatwitch> all named Mr Stabby
<JoeyLemur> Bananas!

#10564 (+2/-0)
<rcombs> someone remind me to buy blue reflection
<rcombs> Bananas!
* rcombs looks at size of backlog
<rcombs> …maybe I should just grab it now

#10563 (+3/-8)
<Kalium> hey wait isn't wonderwall a song or something.
<GreenWolf> Bananas!
<GreenWolf> a bad song
<GreenWolf> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<GreenWolf> Bananas!
<Bucket> Bananas!
<GreenWolf> Bananas!

#10562 (+9/-0)
<GreenWolf> i just bought orange juice at midnight
<GreenWolf> 24 hour grocery stores are amazing

<GreenWolf> owwww, god, I drank too much orange juice at once and now my stomach feels super bloated
<GreenWolf> Bananas!

#10561 (+10/-0)
* james1 uses scp to transfer Oracle989 to the SCP foundation

#10560 (+9/-0)
<CO2> brontophobia is the fear of thunder, astrapophobia is the fear of lightning, and keraunophobia is the fear of thunderstorms in general
<CO2> On the other hand, keraunophilia is the in #xkcd well-known love for thunder

#10558 (+26/-0)
<eezo> JoeyLemur: ironically enough, the cremation process really does require just a button press
<eezo> you wheel the casket into a furnace
<eezo> Bananas!
<eezo> press button
<Bucket> receive bacon.

#10557 (+5/-0)
< multiplexd> i have a scripting problem: given an IP subnet and subnet mask, i wish to generate a list of IP addresses in that subnet
< CO2> Bananas!
< jamesl> well 255.255.255.255 is the broadcast address
< grawity> Bananas!
< grawity> multiplexd: but, python https://i.imgur.com/bUHQphU.png
< jamesl> Bananas!
< jamesl> 0.0.0.0
< jamesl> Bananas!
< jamesl> 0.0.0.2
< grawity> Bananas!

#10555 (+5/-5)
<multiplexd> Bananas!

<multiplexd> aww, c'mon people, if that doesn't get me quoted by Bucket nothing will :/
<CO2> bucket: remember multiplexd nothing
<Bucket> Bananas!

#10554 (+9/-0)
<taixzo> Bananas!
<taixzo> She was very full of energy, and would sometimes run around and knock things over
<taixzo> Bananas!
<taixzo> until we had a cardboard box left from a pair of shoes, and she just climbed into that and would happily sit
<taixzo> Bananas!
<taixzo> And so, Pandora's box was the solution to all our problems.

#10552 (+4/-13)
<light> Bananas!
<danieli> just cisco.. jeez, did you just assume my vendor?!

#10550 (+5/-2)
<asmcint> Just popping in to ask something real quick, I tend not to use IRC usually. Anyone else getting connection refused when they click Random Comic on the site?
<@barometz> Bananas!
<@barometz> consider it an avant-garde comic, free of charge :)

#10549 (+26/-2)
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> can't face how bad their neck idea was
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> you spindly failures
<@zetlen> imagine how shitty giraffe dating apps are
<@zetlen> "All i care about is neck height", is the one checkbox, that's all you get
<@zetlen> genitals and neck length
<@zetlen> it's not even fun! it just matches you up with the longest available nearby neck
<@zetlen> "here," mumbles the app joylessly. "she's got a long neck"
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> you're like FUCK
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> if YOU'RE so pro-okapi, WHY DID YOU HIDE YOUR STRIPEY LEGS and LENGTHEN YOUR NECK IN PHOTOSHOP and SAY YOU DON'T WANT KIDS
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> i was actually in the OK(api)Cupid app
<@zetlen> and it was just an innocent okapi with a giraffe cosplay fetish
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> and i chase her through the brush as she runs away from the date, crying big okapi tears
<@zetlen> and i'm like GIVE ME A CHANCE, i'm a WOKE GIRAFFE
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> i dream
<@zetlen> "this is because my neck sucks, isn't it"
<@zetlen> yes, me. yes it is
<@zetlen> i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i just--i thought necks were the best,
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> i look at my phone and there's an article on the Daily Wildebeest
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> 34K retweets
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> thankfully not, but there are enough identifying details--she talked about my spots, and the weird way i pronounce "ibex"
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> "We cannot enter into any arrangement with the Rhinos."
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> "We will dispatch an envoy to the Rhino Council to inform them of our decision."
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> Bananas!
<@zetlen> i'm all standing there, out of breath, and they're like "Wait, so, why again?" all peering up at my little head
<@zetlen> "It's...no offense, but...they say we look down on you."
<@zetlen> and they're like "Oh, makes sense actually. I mean, look at you."
<@zetlen> and i go "So that doesn't hurt your feelings?"
<@zetlen> and The Stubbiest, the head of the Rhino Council, says to me, he says
<@zetlen> Bananas!

#10548 (+6/-2)
<bassgoon> Did you ever hear the tragedy of Half-Life the Third? I thought not. It's not a story Valve would tell you. It's a PC gaming legend. Half-Life was a first person shooter, so popular and so profitable it could use the engine to influence the modders to create new games... It had such a fanbase that it could even keep other titles they cared about from dying. The profitability was a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.
<bassgoon> Bananas!

#10545 (+5/-1)
<multiplexd> Bananas!
<Bucket> Bananas!
<multiplexd> Bucket: first rule of reddit
<Bucket> Bananas!

#10544 (+4/-2)
<~CO2> anyway, someone asked the Dutch Donald Duck magazine why they dropped the Mc [from McDuck]
<~CO2> Bananas!
<~CO2> which, I suppose, is as good an answer as any
<@browncoat> I totally read that in David Tennant's voice!
<permagreen> Bananas!

#10543 (+7/-0)
<jamesl> Russians drink tea with vodka and milk
<loudaslife> Bananas!
<jamesl> loudaslife: Vodka, to avoid a recursive loop

#10542 (+7/-2)
<rcombs> Bananas!
<rcombs> like, to shame someone for not being kinky enough
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Hg> so long as you're not Vanilla ISIS

<Bucket> nunsex is extremely unkinky
<Kalium> Bananas!

#10541 (+6/-4)
<bassgoon> Bananas!

#10540 (+13/-2)
<jamesl> oh wow, found an open VNC that seems to be a windows XP machine installed in 2008 and forgotten

<jamesl> FYI: VNCing to PCs and printing out "SECURE YOUR VNC" while also using text-to-speech is very, very effective
<jamesl> it was taken offline within minutes

#10539 (+6/-2)
<Oracle989> Bananas!
<Oracle989> Check out Thebes and an eclipse
<CO2> indeed
<CO2> Bananas!
<Unbibium> Bananas!
<Lisimba> indeed
<Oracle989> indeed
<multiplexd> indeed
<tonyb486> Bananas!
<TonyPaws> Bananas!
<multi-on-ds> indeed
<TonyPaws> Bananas!
<CO2> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYnzZ2rczSo
<TonyPaws> i fucked everything up
<CO2> TonyPaws: indeed

#10538 (+12/-0)
<CO2> Bananas!
* CO2 throws them on your desk
* multiplexd takes out their Pentium V-encrusted Hammer of Routing, flips it to IPv6 mode and starts hammering away at the unsuspecting IP packets

<Bren64zz> multiplexd: lol, that bit with the IP-sorting hammer
<multiplexd> Bananas!
<Bren64zz> The what?
<multiplexd> Bren64zz: it has +3 scanning precision against Unix boxes but -2 against Windows machines

#10537 (+6/-0)
<CO2> Bananas!
<CO2> Bananas!

#10536 (+21/-0)
<CO2> " On Tuesday, August 8, smart locks manufacturer LockState botched an over-the-air firmware update for its WiFi enabled smart locks, causing the devices to lose connectivity to the vendor's servers and the ability to open doors for its users."
<CO2> Bananas!

#10534 (+5/-2)
<Epi> Bananas!
<Velociraptors> Bananas!
<Velociraptors> hahah autofingers. redback

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