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#10494 (+3/-0)
<Buckley> Bananas!
<Buckley> like here's an example
<Buckley> i use q tips to clean my ear canal

#10493 (+3/-0)
< CO2> Bananas!
< CO2> I have a problem
< CO2> Bananas!
<@relsqui> Bananas!
< CO2> I was planning to run my program for 293 years >_<

#10492 (+3/-0)
<Vulpes> Bucket, go away <action> pokes billygoat
<+Bucket> Bananas!
* billygoat sets mode: +b *!Vulpes@*.E8D5B2F1.70BCBC92.IP
* Vulpes was kicked by billygoat (Goat-ed)
<+Bucket> Bananas!

#10491 (+6/-1)
< CO2> the good thing about global warming is that Great Reptiles and human sized insects may evolve again.
-!- Velociraptor [Dana@hide-EF50C6D0.bras1.syd7.internode.on.net] has joined #xkcd

#10490 (+5/-0)
< Oracle989> Bananas!
< Oracle989> Bananas!
< Oracle989> Bananas!
< Oracle989> In fact, a very low concentration of lead may be essential to life!
< Oracle989> "Despite the toxicity of lead in significant amounts, there is some evidence that trace amounts are beneficial in pigs and rats, and that its absence causes deficiencies such as depressed growth, anemia, and disturbed iron metabolism. If this finding holds for humans, it would make lead an essential element, one with a threshold of toxicity so low that lead toxicity would remain a much higher priority than lead deficiency."
< Oracle989> A little radiation might be good for you.
< Oracle989> Bananas!
< Oracle989> Might hurt, might help, might not do anything
< Oracle989> The data is conflicting
* Oracle989 realizes he just said lead and radiation are both good for you
23:48:25 * Oracle989 applies to work at Trump's EPA
23:48:25 < IronAngel> you could be the health director for the US

#10489 (+6/-0)
<@bk> Bananas!
<@sheepbat> Bananas!

#10488 (+17/-0)
<jamesl> if I look at my laptop screen angled downwards it looks blue. If I look at it angled upwards it looks red. Why is this?
<jamesl> it only recently started
<Kalium> Bananas!

#10487 (+3/-0)
<GreenWolf> Bananas!
<CheshireCat_> Bananas!

#10486 (+6/-0)
<Bucket> I think I hear my mother calling me.
<kazitor> Bananas!
* Bucket makes a show of patting his pockets, then shrugs helplessly
<kazitor> Bucket: you are adopted
<Bucket> Okay, kazitor.

#10485 (+4/-1)
<seven> Bananas!
<seven> gloves, put them on, came back down and offered him a drink
<seven> putting on my most camp of camp acts
<seven> and within minutes he said he had another place at which he was going to live and left
<Kalium> Bananas!
<seven> and we all had a good frkn laugh
<seven> I gayed him away :D

#10484 (+10/-0)
< pikhq> Michigan has an inflation-indexed minimum wage...
< pikhq> Bananas!
< pikhq> Bananas!
< pikhq> Erm, minimum wage will not ...
< Lisimba> Bananas!
< Lisimba> Bananas!
< Bucket> Poorly!
< Lisimba> Bananas!
< cnf> Bananas!

#10483 (+5/-2)
<PoptartMechanic> I've always figured that Peach and Bowser have a relationship and that Mario just keeps trying to break them up
<PoptartMechanic> I mean, it's all a little too convenient that she gets captured over and over
<Tattoo> the only problem with that is the clear depiction of peach not wanting to be with bowser and being really glad that mario is coming
<PoptartMechanic> Bananas!
<Tattoo> Bananas!
<PoptartMechanic> Bananas!
<alexxerth> Bananas!
<Tattoo> Bananas!
<alexxerth> because she wants to get stolen, that way mario can rescue her
<hppavilion1> Bananas!
<alexxerth> if she never gets stolen then mario can't rescue her
<hppavilion1> Bananas!
<Tattoo> that goes against what is shown in the games, though
<hppavilion1> "Thanks for saving me from Bowser, I DEFINITELY wasn't enjoying myself"
<tanuki> Bananas!
<hppavilion1> Bananas!
<Tattoo> and peach doesen't to me seem like a person who would -- despite having a fetish or not -- be okay with the fact that vast swaths of sentient beings die because of this activity
<Tattoo> Bananas!
<Hobz> That got real kinky real quick
<Hobz> Not that there's anything wrong with that
<hppavilion1> Bananas!
<hppavilion1> Bananas!
<hppavilion1> "I'm sure that that motor sound is just Bowser's... washing machine"
<alexxerth> how do luigi and daisy fit into all of this
<alexxerth> Bananas!
<PoptartMechanic> Bananas!
<PoptartMechanic> Bananas!
<PoptartMechanic> Bananas!
<alexxerth> ohh, actually wario lives in a legitimate urban center come to think of it.
<hppavilion1> alexxerth: Luigi is a Cuck, Daisy has gangbangs on a monthly basis, and Samus is Wario and Waluigi's mistress.
<alexxerth> what the fuck has this conversation turned into
<hppavilion1> alexxerth: ...fanfiction?
* hppavilion1 is unsure
<PoptartMechanic> my statement is only a hypothetical. After all, my assertion is that we only percieve the world as seen by a man addicted to shrooms, running around sewers collecting coins

#10482 (+7/-0)
<hppavilion1> Bananas!
<hppavilion1> Specifically, let's say that you can use a function time.sleep(n)
<hppavilion1> Bananas!
<alexxerth> 2017 goto 1938
<hppavilion1> Which seems pretty standard and non-scifi, except that n can be negative.
<Tattoo> Bananas!
<hppavilion1> Tattoo: Except Haskell.
<Tattoo> Bananas!
<hppavilion1> Tattoo: Haskell doesn't have time travel in either direction, ideally.

#10481 (+7/-0)
< CheshireCat> Bananas!
< Bucket> tractor pulling is a crazy ass-sport: https://youtu.be/bFzd5Wl3Bxk?t=262
* taixzo imagines someone pulling a tractor with a chain on a buttplug
< CheshireCat> holy shit the tractor at 6:15 has dual turbochargers XD
< mrkman> taixzo: if you build it they will come
<@mewyn> Welp, good bye filibuster.
< Oracle989> mewyn, Is it official?
< taixzo> Bananas!
< taixzo> Bananas!
<@mewyn> Bananas!
< Oracle989> Bananas!
<@mewyn> It's all a pissing match now.
<@mewyn> They don't give a shit.
< alSeen> they chose the wrong one to make a stand on
< CheshireCat> "the assholes are going to pull it"
< CheshireCat> Bananas!

#10480 (+8/-0)
< alexxerth> Bananas!
< alexxerth> Bananas!
< alexxerth> Bananas!
< alexxerth> But he didn't like the army, so he left, but since he was AWOL, he stole somebody's name, a buddy of his from the army, and tried to become a monk again. Then ran away again. Then tried to become a monk again. Then ran away again and joined the Navy, but faked suicide and stole somebody else's name.
< alexxerth> He became a professor of psychology, where he survived by reading a chapter ahead of the book he was teaching
< alexxerth> Bananas!
< alexxerth> Then he was caught by the FBI, who threw him in a Disciplinary Barracks for 18 months for going AWOL, and then he was out, tried to become a monk again while also studying law at night
< permagreen> Bananas!
< alexxerth> Then he ran away again
< alexxerth> Bananas!
< alexxerth> *A fucking surgeon* with zero knowledge of surgery
< alexxerth> Bananas!
< alexxerth> One of them had been shot really close to the heart too
< nobody> Bananas!
< alexxerth> Bananas!
< alexxerth> Bananas!
< alexxerth> including the one with a bullet lodged near his heart
< The0x539> Bananas!
< nobody> Bananas!
< nobody> Bananas!
< alexxerth> He cut the ribs, bent them, removed the bullet, and put in coagulant gel
< alexxerth> Bananas!
< taixzo> Bananas!
< alexxerth> Anyways though, this was such an amazing event that it got put in the ship dispatches, which was a huge honor...but also gave him some unwanted publicity
< alexxerth> He couldn't exactly turn it down without being suspicious, so he let it go
< alexxerth> Bananas!
< alexxerth> Bananas!
< alexxerth> Bananas!
< alexxerth> But because he saved sixteen people, the canadian navy chose not to press charges, and all Canada did was just send him back to the US
< alexxerth> With his salary for the time worked.
< alexxerth> oh, also, he was born in 1921
< alexxerth> Bananas!
< alexxerth> In the US, he kept stealing names and doing random things, he became a monk again, he founded a fucking religion college that is now Walsh University, still exists
< permagreen> Bananas!

< alexxerth> In total, he was a ship surgeon, civil engineer, sheriff's deputy, deputy warden, a doctor of applied psychology, a hospital orderly, a lawyer, a teacher, a child-care 'expert', several different monks, an editor, and a cancer researcher

#10479 (+4/-0)
<Bucket> relsqui is jumping their motorcycle over a postcard of Snake River Canyon.
<@relsqui> Bananas!
<@relsqui> I'll suggest that to my roommate, who just bought one
<Agafnd> relsqui: this calls for photo manipulation
<relsqui> Agafnd: good luck with that

<Agafnd> Bananas!

#10478 (+5/-0)
<murakh> people in this chan certainly are painting a bright picture of NL
<permagreen> Well, I mean who doesn't love Northern Lincolnshire?
<tonyb486> Bananas!

#10477 (+3/-0)
<GreenWolf> also, witnesses never hurt
<@creature> Bananas!

#10476 (+4/-1)
<Jax184> Bananas!
* Bucket throws up
<Jax184> Bananas!

#10475 (+6/-0)
< bearachute> Bananas!
< nobody> which one?
< Bucket> Bananas!

#10474 (+4/-0)
<@relsqui> Bananas!
<+Bucket> Bananas!
<@Shrdlu> 92 is less than I expected
<@Shrdlu> did we clean it out?
<@relsqui> Bananas!
<@relsqui> Bananas!
<@relsqui> Bananas!
<@aliaras> also, it's protected, innit?
<@aliaras> so it doesn't get filled with too much garbage
<@Shrdlu> yeah, I just would have guessed that *we'd* added more
<@Shrdlu> most of it not garbage, but, well <_<
* Shrdlu gently shitposts
<@relsqui> Bucket: don't know <action> gently shitposts.

#10473 (+24/-0)
< Shona> I'm so confused as to what is happening rn
<@relsqui> Shona: frog/chicken interbreeding
<@relsqui> it's highly unethical really
<@Shrdlu> it's fricken unethical

#10472 (+25/-0)
<BytesAndCoffee> http://i.imgur.com/SoEIt7S.gif help, Android crashes on boot when running from an SD card

#10470 (+16/-0)
< betawaffle> that gives me an idea... i want some augmented reality glasses that solve every sudoku puzzle they see
< Kalium> Bananas!
< betawaffle> Bananas!
< betawaffle> but i like to ruin them for other people

#10469 (+13/-0)
<ftr> Bananas!
<ftr> erm
<ftr> Bananas!
-!- alphamul2 has joined #xkcd
<ftr> I noticed mid sentence that I had a piece of foil stuck to one of my keys
<ftr> Bananas!
<ftr> and accidentally flicked return
<alphamul2> Foiled again

#10468 (+14/-0)
<alexxerth> amazon is now taunting me
<alexxerth> it shows the switch as available for purchase, but won't let me add it to the cart
<Lisimba> alexxerth: so it's a bait and no switch?

#10467 (+4/-0)
<CO2> I'm getting something from above...
<CO2> It starts with an m... or possibly a k...
<CO2> Bananas!
<relsqui> CO2: ooh me I do
<relsqui> wait like
<relsqui> Bananas!
<CO2> Bananas!
<CO2> relsqui: the spirits tell me they're doing fine!
<relsqui> wait
<relsqui> CO2: my dead friend whose birthday is today had a name starting with m
<relsqui> you coldreading fucker
<CO2> Bananas!
<CO2> I don't even need visual clues :P

#10466 (+14/-0)
* Oracle989 stares dead-eyed at his monitor
< Oracle989> Bananas!
< Oracle989> Bananas!
< Oracle989> He may be off snowboarding
< Xenos> Bananas!
< taixzo> "Hey, Mr. Johnson, glad I tracked you down, how's the sex, listen, I really need this component to finish this project, could you leave that on my desk please?"
< Xenos> "Oh. Mrs. Johnson says hello, she didn't know where you were either when I asked her after I didn't find you at the snowboard place. So we called your old secretary and she suggested here."

#10465 (+8/-0)
<siorai> How's everyone dong this morning ?
<Kalium> Bananas!
<terran> Bananas!

#10463 (+5/-0)
<siorai> Yeah that makes sense, because I remember just copying down CD keys from the cases back in EB days.
<siorai> Bananas!
<terran> Bananas!
<Bucket> Bananas!
<terran> BUTCHERED
<rcombs> Bananas!
<Oracle989> Bananas!
<rcombs> Bananas!
<siorai> .... you know. I serious sat here, staring at the screen, hands on the keyboard... and couldn't think of a single follow to any of those.
<siorai> Bananas!
<Oracle989> Bananas!

#10461 (+26/-0)
<CO2> The 's' in 'IoT' stands for security

#10460 (+6/-4)
<Bucket> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<permagreen> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<permagreen> Okay, now imagine a giant carrot wearing a mustache and a bowler hat
<Agafnd> is the carrot in the holodeck
<permagreen> Forget the holodeck. That's in the past.
<permagreen> Bananas!
<Agafnd> oh, I assume that 'wearing a mustache' means it's fake?
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<permagreen> It might and it could be
<Agafnd> it has a monocle
<permagreen> That's fine
<Bucket> Bananas!
<Agafnd> it looks like the planters guy but a carrot
<permagreen> Or not
<Bucket> OR IS IT?!
<permagreen> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> this is getting violent
<Agafnd> planters guy is going down
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> eurgh
<permagreen> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<permagreen> Bananas!
<permagreen> There's a serial chef on the loose
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> but seriously
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> like, planters guy had a second ready 'cause he knew this was gonna happen
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> I think they're fighting over which is the tastier raw underground plant
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> (vegetable swears: louder and less pronounceable than regular swears)
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<permagreen> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Agafnd> Bananas!
<Bucket> Of course I was!
<Agafnd> Bananas!

#10457 (+4/-1)
* Hg puts strange combo-fetishes in bucket
* Bucket drops a space-penis and takes strange combo-fetishes.
< Hg> Bananas!

#10454 (+8/-0)
<Raptors> Bananas!
<Raptors> wrong channel
<Bucket> There is no such thing as the right channel for *that*

#10452 (+9/-1)
<hppavilion1> I am of the firm opinion that s/// notation (a) only applies to the previous message- ^s must be used to remedy earlier messages (b) must be well-formed; if you make an error, it won't parse (c) must be applied literally- if they don't use /i, for example, it won't apply to mismatched case (d) will carry any errors they make- if it matches two parts of the message, it'll only fix the first, even if the second is clearly the goal (and finally, e) literally fixes the error- ignore any content of an s'd-away message
<barometz> s/all of that//

#10451 (+11/-0)
<jamesl> if you want to get a question answered online, state the incorrect answer
<Kalium> Bananas!
<jamesl> nah, that's Hitler
<Kalium> Bananas!

#10447 (+23/-0)
<rival> Bananas!
<rival> Bananas!
<rival> Bananas!
<nobody> Bananas!
<rival> Bananas!
<rival> I mean, I knew it came out of the trash. My plan was to break it enough that it would *stay* in the trash. Instead, I fixed it.

#10446 (+2/-0)
<bearachute> Bananas!
<bearachute> holy crap man
<seven> Who's he? I can't REMember

#10445 (+16/-0)
<Bucket> 16 is the legal age here
<cnf> legal age for what, Bucket ? :P
<mie> it's the legal age. all other ages are illegal
<barometz> Bananas!
<barometz> Bananas!

#10444 (+8/-1)
<CO2> There are two young pastors, fresh out of seminary, stationed at churches in towns 30 miles apart in South Dakota. Every Wednesday, they both bicycle to a town midway between their towns, stop at the cafe and have a coffee and some pie and discuss how their new ministries are going. One week, one pastor arrives, but his friend is an hour late, and shows up riding in the back of a farmer's pickup
<CO2> truck. He walks into the cafe and says "brother, it pains me to say this, but somebody has stolen my bicycle! And since my town is so small, surely it must be one of my parishioners who stole it."
<CO2> Bananas!
<CO2> Bananas!

#10439 (+8/-7)
* taixzo gives Bucket an ex-Martin
* Bucket drops Martin and takes an ex-Martin.

#10437 (+11/-0)
<@Stereo> in the fine tradition of prisoners carving toothbrushes into knives, i kinda want to turn a switchblade into a folding toothbrush
< Shona> Bananas!
< Shona> where would you put the bristles?
<@Shrdlu> Bananas!
<@Shrdlu> Bananas!

#10436 (+5/-1)
<couch> Bananas!
<couch> ... nvm, forgot I'm on the internet for a moment there
<couch> at least 1971
<barometz> Bananas!
<couch> barometz, there's only porn when she's away
<couch> I'm not online when she's gone! / web is off too long, everytime she goes away
<couch> Bananas!
<couch> (man and his server)
<couch> Bananas!
<couch> anyhow, gotta find some sheet music for the song, gotta figure out how to play it for piano
<barometz> Bananas!
<couch> Bananas!

#10435 (+14/-0)
< seven> With my ISP's current behaviour, I wish for an uptim of 12 hours.
< taixzo> Bananas!
< seven> Not much, what's up with you!

#10434 (+5/-1)
<Froward> who wants a joke
<Froward> are you ready for my jokes
<Vulpes> Bananas!
<Froward> Bananas!
<Vulpes> Froward, to run away from the factory farm?
<Vulpes> to end its miserable existence?
<Froward> Vulpes: close! to get to the idiot's house!!!
<Froward> Bananas!
<Vulpes> Froward, is that the end or the middle of your joke?
<Froward> Bananas!
<Vulpes> Bananas!
<Vulpes> Bananas!
<Froward> ahahahaha
<Froward> Bananas!
<Froward> Bananas!
<Froward> Bananas!
<Froward> Vulpes: and he says in a very deep voice G O O D N I G H T
<CO2> Bananas!
<Froward> Bananas!
<CO2> IRC is real life?
<Vulpes> Bananas!
<Froward> Vulpes: how do you fit an elephant in a freezer?
<Vulpes> Bananas!
<Froward> Bananas!
<Vulpes> but I don't remember it
* Kalium sight
<Vulpes> I did already think of "in small pieces"
* Kalium sighs*
<Vulpes> and "compressed"
<Kalium> Bananas!
<alexxerth> Bananas!
<alexxerth> That way it can take up the maximum amount of available volume
<Froward> Bananas!
<alexxerth> Probably still blending it into a liquid
<Vulpes> Bananas!
<Kalium> you put it in, because your fridge seems to be big as heck
<Froward> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Kalium> Bananas!
<Froward> Bananas!
<Froward> Bananas!
<Kalium> just walk across, the crocodiles are at the party
<Froward> Bananas!
<Froward> Bananas!
<Rena> well then the river's not full of crocodiles is it
<CO2> the dutch word for elephant is olifant which sounds like oil-phant in Dutch. There's a joke that goes "how do you fit an elephant into a mailbox?" answer: "drain the oil, fold up the little phant"
<Vulpes> that is a slight problem
<Vulpes> perhaps crocodile-infested river would work better
<Kalium> No-one said it was a well thought out river
* CO2 hands Vulpes the little phant
<Vulpes> because it implies crocodiles live in the river, but they don't quite have to be there at the time
<Rena> Bananas!
<alexxerth> Maybe the river is really long
<alexxerth> Bananas!
<alexxerth> so the crocodiles are in the river, just not where the elephant is
<CO2> Rena: it's the part of an elephant after you remove the ele
<Rena> Bananas!

#10433 (+14/-5)
<Xenos> I've been told I can come across as condescending. That's when you explain obvious things in very simple words.

#10432 (+4/-0)
<seven> Seattle is such a pretty and interesting city.
<seven> Bananas!
<Oracle989> Eh, it's overpriced and getting blander by the minute
<seven> insanely overpriced
<Oracle989> Bananas!
<seven> Bananas!
<alexxerthmobile> Oracle989: many cities are
<Oracle989> Bananas!
<Oracle989> Bananas!
<Oracle989> Or early-stage collapse cities, like Portland
<seven> what I didn't realise was like, the inlets, the lakes, and ocean around the city, a lot of it sits on super fucking deep geological landscape
<Oracle989> Bananas!
<Oracle989> Bananas!
<Oracle989> But modern Seattle feels kind of like a "trendy" chain restaurant
<seven> Bananas!
<Oracle989> Bananas!
<seven> they can't be, rather. So, there's major parts of urban infrastructure, roads, and bridges, that are arterial, which are free floating over super deep bodies of water. That, are designed to withstand super storms and not break away
<seven> Bananas!
<seven> Bananas!

#10431 (+5/-1)
<jamesl> Bananas!

#10430 (+8/-0)
<Oracle989> The Harios get better grinds though, and I can change the beans easier
<BytesAndCoffee> well fuck, the blockchain is over 100GB now?
<Oracle989> So I use them to try new beans, or when I want a nice single cup
<BytesAndCoffee> Bananas!
<loudaslife> Bananas!
<BytesAndCoffee> Bananas!

#10429 (+8/-3)
<hppavilion1> I can't find Bucket D:
<loudaslife> He's dead, Packard.
<barometz> Bananas!
<billygoat> Bananas!

*** hppavilion2 joined #xkcd dosgmowdow@hide-BF57BA30.dynamic.asdk12.org
<hppavilion2> Wtf
<hppavilion2> Bananas!
*** hppavilion2 quit (Quit: Leaving) dosgmowdow@hide-
<barometz> Bananas!
<hppavilion1> barometz: What?
<barometz> Bananas!
--- billygoat has banned *!dominic@*.2D33A2B7.8158405A.IP
*** barometz was kicked by billygoat (Jackpot!!!)

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