Hi! Just so you know, you can click on the $ up there to support XKCDB. (This box will go away after you vote once.)

#9433 (+26/-0)
-!- Caffeine|test [koffein@2a01:7e00:0:0:f03c:91ff:fedf:be1e] has joined #xkcd
< Caffeine|test> let's see
* Bucket unzips.
< Caffeine|test> nope
-!- Caffeine|test [koffein@2a01:7e00:0:0:f03c:91ff:fedf:be1e] has quit [Quit: leaving]

#8260 (+75/-2)
* Antior puts a partypooper in bucket
* Bucket is now carrying a partypooper, but dropped cake.
<darthFerret> aww hah
* mewshi puts a hooker in bucket
* Bucket is now carrying a hooker, but dropped virginity.
* WorkWaffle puts a Muon-catalyzed fusion reactor in Bucket
<SirEel> ...win
* Bucket is now carrying a Muon-catalyzed fusion reactor, but dropped nine valence electrons.
<darthFerret> hahahahah
<Antior> lol
<mewshi> Ah, so THAT is why we keep bucket around!

#7934 (+7/-3)
<Seth> Bucket, that factoid is dumb
<Bucket> Seth: I already had it that way

#4925 (+5/-0)
<@snark> FTL TRAVEL FTL

#8934 (+10/-4)
<AntiLuke> Bucket: explain girls
<Bucket> Error at 0x08: Reference not found

#769 (+3/-2)
Solid_State: bucket: what's the sound of one hand clapping?
Bucket: the sound of one hand clapping is SHUT my FACE, YOU RAGGED PONCE
ZipperHead: ...
snark: solid_state: your wit is noted.
Solid_State: what wit?
Bucket: wit is Solid_State's wit falls shorter than a quadriplegic can throw a baseball.

#4082 (+49/-15)
<FsM> Valve introduces digital distribution through steam: I HATE THIS SHIT
<FsM> apple introduces digital distribution through appstore: OH GOD I LOVE STEVEJOBS I WANT HIS COCK

#1636 (+6/-0)
Liet-Kynes: I like cats, but not enough to pretend I'm one on IRC.

#2014 (+25/-7)
<@Lhyzz> bucket, o rly?
< Bucket> NO, ANLY.

#9972 (+14/-0)
* schwal sees job listing for bilingual front desk assistant, contemplates claiming to know only Latin and Russian.
* khmer watches schwal play his hilarious joke and get immediately hired as a copyist for the orthodox patriarch

#8420 (+22/-0)
<stalagmatite> also what is canterbury tales
<@snark> stalagmatite: before your time

#3510 (+26/-7)
[18:02] * sociallyinept (sociallyin@hide-3F0384D9.lv.lv.cox.net) has joined #xkcd
[18:02] * sociallyinept has quit (Quit: sociallyinept)

#861 (+3/-0)
-!- Uhmerwell is now known as Tevi|Shurr.
< Tevi|Shurr> It's showertime!
< Tevi|Shurr> wait
< Tevi|Shurr> uh
-!- Tevi|Shurr is now known as Uhmerwell
-!- Uhmerwell is now known as Uhmerwell|Shurr
< Uhmerwell|Shurr> I fail at rembering my own nick

#7758 (+27/-0)
<Nougatti> Guys, I've found an art-critic-comment that will work on pretty much all art, and leave your peers astounded by your knowledge.
<Nougatti> "You can tell the author of this work has really done a great job in utilizing genre-rules to critisise the genre itself"
<Nougatti> 76% of the time, it works EVERY time.
<@snark> they'll be astounded by your spelling
<RK> Nougatti is just using nonstandard spelling rules to criticize English

#8468 (+23/-0)
<Spork> My morals grown on trees
<Stereo> spork: no, those are apples
<Spork> Stereo: Shit. So the answer to the pro-choice/pro-life argument isn't "Apples"?
<Stereo> spork: well it's certainly not "don't eat the seeds"

#10467 (+4/-1)
<CO2> I'm getting something from above...
<CO2> It starts with an m... or possibly a k...
<CO2> does anyone know someone with an m or a k in their name here?
<relsqui> CO2: ooh me I do
<relsqui> wait like
<relsqui> dead people, or like alive people
<CO2> relsqui: cool
<CO2> relsqui: the spirits tell me they're doing fine!
<relsqui> wait
<relsqui> CO2: my dead friend whose birthday is today had a name starting with m
<relsqui> you coldreading fucker
<CO2> hahahaha
<CO2> I don't even need visual clues :P

#5455 (+58/-11)
< Potassium> maybe, prime is awesome.
< Potassium> man*
< iWaldo> Damn 'n' key is too close to the 'ybe' key
< Poiesis> 'ybe?'
< Spork> Yeah, that damn ybe key.
< jackolas> ybe key
< iWaldo> I hit the damybe thing all the time...
< tinge> ybe key ?
< jackolas> yes the ybe key
< Poiesis> lol
< tinge> :D
< Poiesis> @damybe
< jackolas> Damn I meant to hit the any key and hit the ybe ybe key
< Poiesis> the aybey key?
< Poiesis> shit
< jackolas> Bucket: ybe is <reply> I accidently the entire ybe key
< jackolas> Bucket: ybe is <reply> I acciybedently hiybet tybehe ybe kybeey
< Potassium> the what key lol?
< Spork> Potassium: The ybe key.
< Potassium> ybe key?
< Spork> It's right next to the n key.
< iWaldo> Next to the N key

#5259 (+0/-5)
<Royall> wait wtf
<Royall> why is this in my backlog
<Royall> <Misococainea> I wanna jack off on someone's mom

#9168 (+38/-1)
<Glench> oh god I think I found a chrome bug
<snark> is it shiny and scuttling around

#7797 (+39/-0)
<+hexium> I've been away from IRC for two days. I've forgotten how it works.
<+Antimony-120> you type letters in the blinking-light-box-thinking-machine and recieve random stupidity in return

#6869 (+2/-10)
<freelancer> vodka
<Autocracy> vodka
<ra> vodka?
<Autocracy> vodka.
<freelancer> vodka

#6178 (+117/-15)
<Kieran> I need superglue
<Kieran> So I can at least get it somewhat in
<Lisimba> You need lube for that, not glue.
<Kieran> lol
<Kieran> No, it wont fit inside anymore
<Kieran> It mostly goes in
<Kieran> but a little bit doesnt
<Kieran> and it falls out
<Kieran> :(
* Lisimba falls over laughing
<freelancer> ...do I want to know what you're talking about? =/
<Kieran> A metal ring that goes around my k-slot? O_o
<Lisimba> Yeah. Context is everything.
<Lisimba> But before you stick glue in your slot, work out *why* it's not fitting anymore.
<Kieran> I dunno :(
<Lisimba> Well, stick it in, see where it stops, then work out what stops it.
<Lisimba> Basic trouble shooting.
<Lisimba> Sticking it in halfway and then glueing it there is... ick.
<freelancer> Yeah, this conversation really needs context XD
<Kieran> I cant see inside when I'm sticking it in
<Lisimba> Use a magnifier or something.
<Kieran> no, it obscures it
<Kieran> you cant see inside when you push it to where it cant go in
<Lisimba> ...no, look inside when it's not in there.
<Kieran> I see the lights, the lot slot that goes through the center of the ring, and a little bit of metal foil
<Lisimba> Maybe the foil got bent and is in the way or something.
<Lisimba> That's what you got to work out.
<Kieran> it's not that solid
<Kieran> when I push it in, one side sticks in and the other sticks out
<Kieran> I cant push both sides in at the same time
<katiedid> o.0
<Lisimba> See where it pivots.
<katiedid> That sounds.... really weird out of context
<Kieran> I'm gonna tape it on for now
<Kieran> so I dont lose it
<katiedid> ...
<katiedid> ............
<Lisimba> Where it pivots is where it's stuck, generally.
<Kieran> Katie, what?
<katiedid> This conversation keeps getting better
<katiedid> Sorry, I think dirty, dirty thoughts
<Lisimba> Kieran: just about everything you said so far sounds really funny when taken out of context.
<Lisimba> katiedid: you're a dirty, dirty woman.
<Kieran> the part that goes through the hole
<Lisimba> hahahaha
<katiedid> s/woman/girly
<Kieran> it's not going through all the way or something
<katiedid> ...
<freelancer> This conversation is awesome -_-
<Lisimba> Kieran: have you tried pushing gentrly?
<Lisimba> *gently?
<Lisimba> Maybe you *do* need lube.
<Kieran> lol
<Kieran> it's like
<Kieran> the part were it gets thicker
<Kieran> doesnt fit in the hole
<Kieran> but the thin part does
<Nek> ...
<Nek> I clearly need to scroll upwards.
<Nek> I hope.
<Lisimba> Maybe it's deformed.
<Kieran> It doesnt look deformed
<Kieran> it just looks too thick
<Kieran> I dont know how they stuck it through there in the first place
<Lisimba> It fit in before, it came out, so it went through twice already.
<katiedid> It should go in again
<katiedid> And again
<freelancer> Katie has lots of experience with this.
<katiedid> It's okay to try and force it
<Kieran> I just dont know why it wont fit :(
<Lisimba> So figure it out.
<katiedid> Make it fit
<Kieran> it's not that easy
<katiedid> One word
<katiedid> PICS
<Lisimba> Yeah. Pics of katie.
<Kieran> I dont have a camera, so I cant take a pic of the place were it goes in
<Kieran> but I have a webcam, so I can take a picture of the hole
<freelancer> I'm not sure I want a picture of your hole... >_>
<katiedid> You should probably take a picture of trying to force the thick thing into the tiny hole
<katiedid> .... I'm horrible -_-
<Kieran> god dang it, I'm not talking about sodomy right now (this time) ><

#7257 (+33/-9)
puddle: Bucket: cheer me up
Bucket: Fuck you.

#4071 (+39/-9)
Frowardd: zucchini is actually an alien seed pod
Frowardd: if you do not eat them, and let the grow to maturity..
khmer: Frowardd: my dad had the EXACT SAME HYPOTHESIS
khmer: well, hi dad
khmer: jig's up i guess
khmer: hey dad, sorry i mutebanned you that one time
dad [62f35fe9@hide-54C2325B.mibbit.com] entered the room.
dad: khmer my boy!
khmer: dad!!!
dad: you should've listened to me
khmer: i wish i'd ever known you, dad
dad: i warned you about the zucchini.
khmer: my mom kept the pile of twenties that was the only thing you left
dad: well, your mother's calling me back to bed. I had her cloned 14 years ago, and boy is she turning into a handful!
dad left the room (quit: Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client).
khmer: and that was the last i ever saw of him

#9907 (+20/-0)
<njsg> lost a fucking number
<njsg> gotta redo shit
<njsg> I literally lost a fucking digit
<Ferris> D:
<Althir> Go to the hospital IMMEDIATELY!

#8590 (+12/-2)
-!- Revan343 was kicked from #xkcd-kittens by scgtrp [THIS. IS. -KITTEEENNNNS]
Day changed to 20 Nov 2011
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-!- Revan343 [revan@hide-1445207F.lightspeed.jcvlfl.sbcglobal.net] has joined #xkcd-kittens
<@Revan343> Heh
<~scgtrp> ... i kicked you literally last month

#7334 (+13/-5)
<Oriza> i just managed to lock off part of the really old house
<Oriza> and broke the lock
<Oriza> it wasn't even my fault it's just a really old lock
<Oriza> and my grandma screamed at me
<Oriza> literally, for the first time
<Oriza> so now i'm pissed at the world
<Zing> Oriza: Make a new lock.
<Firedchicken> Oriza: break out the chainsaw and watch her get mad then
<Oriza> it got fixed
<Oriza> finally
<Bucket> Finally Oriza will shut up for more then 5 seconds
<Oriza> bucket, shut up

#7080 (+29/-7)
<F-Zombie> Hmm Ethiopian jet crashes killing 90 people. Pilot probably starved to death mid flight
<Potassium> F-Zombie, that's low.
<Potassium> F-Zombie, almost as low as food supplies in Ethiopia.
<Gorganon> *zing*

#1606 (+15/-5)
<diddily> worst part about being a necrophiliac is that you're always dying to masturbate...

#9152 (+14/-1)
<Saethan> don't tell the MPAA, dl'in rounders now
<Saethan> oh wait, IRC is unencrypted eh
<Saethan> SHIT
* Saethan grabs the magnets
<Rena> and encrypting it wouldn't be a lot of help, when any random person can join the channel
<Saethan> but you still couldn't find out who is who
<Saethan> which I guess our hosts kinda take care of for us
<Rena> you can if you subpoena the server to get your IP
<Saethan> which would be BS
<Rena> encryption is useful against nosy ISPs and neighbours
* MPAA (4da0f725@hide-BF4D4B18.mibbit.com) has joined #xkcd
<Rena> shit
* RIAA (4da0f725@hide-6C77D8AA.mibbit.com) has joined #xkcd
* Rena hides the discs
<RIAA> Halt!
<Saethan> whoa!
<MPAA> Hammerzeit!
<Saethan> WHOA!

#7338 (+20/-1)
< taoistextremist> "An op kicks someone for fun, take a shot."
< taoistextremist> I have a feeling there'll be too many shots. :P
-!- taoistextremist was kicked from #xkcd by relsqui [I'm thirsty]

#5047 (+16/-5)
* Langly rolls 1d1
<Bucket> Langly got: 2
* billygoat sets mode: +b *!Langly1@*.comcast.net
* Langly was kicked by billygoat (Critical failure!)

#4617 (+14/-4)
<bearachute> Steve Sandvoss seriously reminds me of the new Keanu Reeves.
<bearachute> His acting style is like, straight out of his book.
<snark> keanu reeves' acting book has a lot of pages
<snark> all of them blank
<bearachute> exactly. snark.
<BlackSails> Not all of them
<BlackSails> one of them says "Woah"

#9294 (+21/-0)
<LolCam> I'M NO ONE'S BRO
<schwal> LolCam: Right, sis.
<LolCam> schwal: I ain't yo' sis
<LolCam> FUCK OFFFFFF
<LolCam> I dunno
<LolCam> I'm so frickin' tired and bored in this class.
<schwal> LolCam: No, my sis is in class, and better not be on IRC.
<schwal> ...wait...

#9652 (+7/-3)
<InitHello> the salmon was the best part. My cat tried to murder me for a piece, that's how I know it was good.
<InitHello> well ... that and the delicious flavor

#9154 (+38/-2)
<maxh> Dear Apple, kindly actually include Welsh language support.
<Antior> maxh: They probably think Welsh is an English dialect
<maxh> Antior: No, they have Welsh language support, but it only works for dates.
<Kliment> And since you don't have any, it doesn't work for you?

#5105 (+1/-21)
<enviedill> requirements for a drunk one night stand: does it have a vagina that is probably relatively well groomed? yes? INSERT COCK

#5591 (+64/-12)
<snark> okay, 10.1.1.7 can ping 10.1.1.10 but not vice versa. Differential diagnosis, go!
<snark> No firewall, and the ANA is normal
<InitHello> snark: have you done an LP?
<zombine> snark: it's lupus
<snark> Zombine: there'd be an elevated ANA for lupus, pay attention =P
<phobiac> Is it possible to trace route a ping?
<snark> it's probably sarcoidosis anyway
<snark> but the tests lied to us
<Wolfy> Are you guys diagnosing a router?
<snark> Wolfy: a computer, actually. But we're not sure which one is faulty.
<Wolfy> it's MS

#9153 (+46/-0)
<@Akrasia> i have a folder name private that is full of pictures of eyes
<@relsqui> seems appropriate
<@Akrasia> it's full of private eyes :D
<@relsqui> ^_^ I got it
<@Akrasia> i'm trying to collect as many 1080p pictures of eyes as i can
<@Akrasia> because i want to change my wallpaper every few minutes
<@Akrasia> different eyes every time
<@relsqui> a little exhibitionist, are we?
<@Akrasia> maybe just a bit
<@Akrasia> don't look in the folder that says public

#10284 (+1/-14)
* linky00 has quit (Quit: What is love)
<Rocktalon> Baby don't hurt me
<Bucket> no more

#5730 (+14/-1)
<hooloo> Say false things about people that will improve their reputations.
<Bucket> False things about people that will improve their reputations!
<hooloo> lol
<unniloct> bucket wins
* Bucket raises hands in the air

#8661 (+19/-0)
Bucket: This is a sign of affectation.
WassPord: Bucket: what was taht
Bucket: taht was you making a typo
WassPord: Bucket: what was that
Bucket: WassPord: That was 'what was taht' (#123551): <reply> taht was you making a typo
WassPord: gahh

#9056 (+8/-3)
<Randall> I just need a giant "BZZZZT! WRONG." buzzer that I can put in this channel to respond to basically everything anyone says to me for the next hour, then leave

#5611 (+42/-8)
< quit> relsqui, noted :P I was just wondering if there's any way to get ferrets dice rolling capacities offline. I really love the
<@relsqui> quit: I, uh, hate to say this ... but have you considered dice?

#6023 (+28/-6)
<snark> Bucket: literal groundchuck
<Bucket> Please rephrase your question in the form of a cheeseburger.

#4698 (+7/-3)
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<Radon> o nooo! :o
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<SolInvictus> Oh no
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<Eule> <_< >_>
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<Radon> the humanity!
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<Eule> when a problem comes along, you must kick it
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<NoOneButMe> i'm jewish, i'd rather avoid kicking :p
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<NoOneButMe> or was i already kicked?
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<Eule> NoOneButMe: why not, it's not sundown Friday yet
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<Potassium> Ah?
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* mytmouse was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Halo pokes billygoat - SUICIDE!
* billygoat sets mode: +b *!halo@*.co.uk
* Halo was kicked by billygoat (Goat-ed)
* gavin was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* gavin (gavin@hide-BE7B8B53.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com) has joined #xkcd
* saturn was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* jin_sane was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* azulez was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Drakkar was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* kremlin was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Drakkar (Drakkar@hide-47515303.ph.ph.cox.net) has joined #xkcd
* problem is now known as TheBucket
* mdordal2 was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<Potassium> This is amusing.
* debdrup was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<NoOneButMe> hanukkah started a few days ago
* Ansible was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Overand was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<NoOneButMe> the 22nd
* Dark-Fx was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Ansible (Ansible@hide-5DF680A4.dsl.rcsntx.swbell.net) has joined #xkcd
* Aprilis was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Uhmerwell was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* OEP was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* encryptio was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* codon was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* ac was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* spenguin was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* eightyeight was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* spinfire was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* eightyeight (~aaron@hide-BAB70033.hsd1.ut.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
* keith was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* magcius_ is now known as magcius
* jercos was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* chaos95 was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* redofrac was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* shoofle was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* billygoat sets mode: -b *!halo@*.co.uk
<muze> alright guys, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU BURN THE OPT FOLDER IN LINUX, it won't fucking let me cuz i don't have permissions
<Eule> NoOneButMe: yeah, but i was thinking of the general "no work on the sabbath" thing
* Glench was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Selig was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Lefty was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Halo (halo@hide-CC39CFD5.zone4.bethere.co.uk) has joined #xkcd
* harleypig was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* CTHULHU is now known as science
* kelp was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* SeveredCross was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* the_russkey was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* dngor was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<Potassium> Hahahaha
* FunkyTuba was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<NoOneButMe> oh
* khmer was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* abzde was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* warriorness was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* vrillusions was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* thumper^ was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Val was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<science> HE'S WORSE THAN STALIN
<magcius> Mods, please kick Stereo
* jackolas was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* SummerGlau was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Vacorsis was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<NoOneButMe> i'm just jewish enough to avoid getting kicked if i wasn't kicked yet
<Azquelt> sudo?
* infralite was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* quine was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<Potassium> :O He booted khmer.
<Ansible> science: rofl
* Diet-Drew|MD was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* quine (quine@hide-40267F6E.dsl.pltn13.sbcglobal.net) has joined #xkcd
* Diet-Drew|MD (drew@hide-CDC7079F.dsl.pltn13.pacbell.net) has joined #xkcd
<NoOneButMe> otherwise i'm not religious
* redofrac (e@hide-F2C8222F.hsd1.ca.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
<magcius> Potassium, and Zigdon
<Diet-Drew|MD> not cool
<Bucket> Bucket, cool
<TheBucket> is it over?
<Eule> science: at least Mussolini made the kicks run on time
* Stereo was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!)

[ 2008-12-25 --Ed. ]

#5461 (+2/-0)
<chaos95> I was 12, it was efnet

#4621 (+0/-4)
* relsqui sets ban on *!*phoenix@*.F3280EE9.17EAA15B.IP
* relsqui has kicked Black_Phoenix from #xkcd (Read the goddamn channel rules.)
<Nikc> ...
<Bucket> [Somewhere in the distance, you hear the dull zap of a mIRC-user being kickbanned.]

#586 (+8/-0)
* xkcd searches for his pants
<%relsqui> xkcd: why spoil a perfectly good birthday? ; )

#3990 (+131/-21)
<ikaruga> a mac fan is to computing what an evangelical christian is to society.
<You> ikaruga: no, a mac fan is to computing what a pc fan is to computing, THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING, IT COOLS THE COMPUTER