Hi! Just so you know, you can click on the $ up there to support XKCDB. (This box will go away after you vote once.)

#4208 (+8/-5)
<ShortWave> Let's say you COULD teleport your penis...

#8881 (+6/-0)
Jax184 I saw some "moist cat food" being advertised awhile ago
Jax184 I assume it's for moist cats
Sarda Jax184: resisting impulse badly

#8752 (+56/-0)
<@benley> I somehow stayed at work until 10pm. WTF.
<@benley> I think I just played the piano in the office for an hour and a half is what happened
<@benley> the wanker who thought he presided over the piano was like "oh are you learning to play?" when he saw me futzing with the keyboard and digging up sheet music on my tablet
<@benley> I proceeded to BLOW HIS FUCKING MIND by using chopin's fantasie impromptu as a warm-up piece

[ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBA-38mzabs --Ed. ]

#17 (+38/-11)
<relsqui> hehehe. M.C. Hammer lived here at the peak of his career.
<root> I knew that about M.C. Hammer
<root> We should put signs up in places that say 'M.C. Hammer slept here'
<shoofle> No
<shoofle> the signs should read 'M.C. Hammer stopped here'
<relsqui> 'M.C. Hammer touched this.'
<root> hehe, you win, relsqui. 8)
<root> We should put a sign on the courthouse that says 'Too Legit to Quit'

#5718 (+19/-0)
<H-land> G'night fellas. Off to bed before Bucket spews out another random fact.
<Bucket> Bananas!

#2362 (+12/-4)
<@khmer> oh man guys this is hilarious
<@khmer> http://khjeron.de/index.php?ELEMENT=300
<@khmer> Starting from the ASCII-Version of Marcel Proust's novel 'A la recherche du temps perdu' it is then re-coded into zeros and ones and then read by two performers alternately (one is reading the zeros, the other one the ones).
< FunkyTuba> khmer: I don't know whether to laugh or cry at that
<@khmer> FunkyTuba: i knew someone would put project gutenberg to good use
<@khmer> The third person is CPU (the Central Processing Unit): She interprets the zeros and ones with the aid of an ASCII allocation table, cuts out the corresponding letter from the prepared sheets and turns it over to Display, who sticks it onto the wall panel.
<@khmer> After eight hours of performance about 250 characters can be processed.
< Hana> and after all that, it turns out to be an ASCII cow

#8944 (+13/-2)
< Caffeine> polemon: registration form breaks when upper case characters are being used
< Caffeine> Regex, motherfucker, DO YOU KNOW IT
<@relsqui> Caffeine: say /wh?[au]t/i again

#1002 (+7/-0)
<ColdNeon> peer : you didn't prepend the topic
<peer> yessir, and i apologize, but it didn't make much sense to mention that bucket prefers Trojans before condoms were mentioned
<ColdNeon> drop and give me 20 soldier
* peer drops and gives 20
* peer stops doing pushups and resets ColdNeon's connection

#5483 (+75/-17)
-!- industrialbs is now known as chrome
* chrome peers at relsqui
-!- Spork is now known as Internet_Explorer
* Internet_Explorer crashes.
-!- Jello_Bomb is now known as Firefox
* Firefox hangs
-!- Eule is now known as Adobe_Flash_Plugin
-!- res1 is now known as ntoskrnl
* ntoskrnl is missing or corrupt.
* Internet_Explorer refuses to use open standards.
* Firefox tries to get people to use stadars basd web design
< Firefox> haha
< chrome> Adobe_Flash_Plugin: OH GOD YOU ARE SLOWING ME DOWN
* Adobe_Flash_Plugin waits for Internet_Explorer and Firefox to come back up, then crashes them again
-!- Grey_Loki is now known as Lynx
* Lynx completely ignores Adobe_Flash_Plugin
* Firefox laughs at lynx for being text based
* chrome renders pages using WebKit
* Internet_Explorer laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaags.
* chrome is ripped off by Safari
-!- ntoskrnl is now known as WebKit
* Firefox renders pages with geckos ... all of them!
* WebKit is fantastic!
<@relsqui> so far chrome has irritated me four times
<@relsqui> and I've been using it for about two minutes
* Adobe_Flash_Plugin laughs at someone trying to use him under nspluginwrapper, and gives 64 bits of crash
* chrome feel unloved by relsqui
* Firefox installs adblock and greasemonkey
< chrome> Adobe_Flash_Plugin: bahahahah
* Internet_Explorer askes if you are sure you want to download this file.
< Internet_Explorer> It might be dangerous.
* Firefox just downloads the fucking file
* chrome downloads the files requested then sucks them into the vortex
< Adobe_Flash_Plugin> There is a new version of Adobe_Flash_Plugin! Would you like to download it now? y/y
* Firefox downloads the new version of Adobe_Flash_Plugin
* Firefox crashes
* Adobe_Flash_Plugin outfoxes Firefox again
< chrome> Adobe_Flash_Plugin: I do not have administrative rights on this machine
< chrome> and safari
< ZettaWatt_> What...have I walked in on.
* Firefox tries to run javascript as fast as chrome
-!- SirEel is now known as opera
* Firefox has to wait till Firefox 4.0
* Internet_Explorer fails at rendering pages.
* opera sits in quiet contemplation of firefox's addons
< chrome> Firefox: HAHAHAHAH YOU SUCK
* opera zooms into a page, happily
* chrome rneders fastest!
< chrome> opera: bitch!
-!- ftr is now known as elinks
* Firefox installs the chrome theme and hides to escape chrome's mocking
* elinks sits there smugly
* Adobe_Flash_Plugin displays a site that is done entirely in Flash, with cute little animations for every click
* Internet_Explorer is new to the whole "tabbed browsing" game.
< ZettaWatt> Chrome: Open all bookmarks!
* Firefox tries to open 400 tabs
< opera> You have used a mouse gesture. would you like to turn mouse gestures on for future use?
* chrome makes love with Firefox who is wearing a chrome theme
* Firefox crashes
< chrome> ZettaWatt: happily
* Firefox feels violated
* Internet_Explorer doesn't know how to work the internet.
< Adobe_Flash_Plugin> Firefox: You ain't seen nothin' yet!
< chrome> Firefox: You should, when it comes to JavaScript I totally rape you.
* elinks shows you just the bits of the pages you need, and tells you where to shove the needless rubbish.
* opera fails to run some javascript, and eats all processor time
* Firefox installs the AutoMeme plugin
-!- TheMiNd is now known as AOL
* elinks trips over javascript
* Firefox crashes ... again
< AOL> LOL HAI GUYZ WUTZ UP
-!- AOL was kicked from #xkcd by snark [NO.]
* Internet_Explorer freez...........
* Firefox and the rest of the graphical browsers gang up on Lynx and elinks
< chrome> GANGBANG
* Internet_Explorer .........es
-!- Martin^ is now known as ncftp
* elinks sits there tidily rendering webpages
-!- Crashed is now known as Apple
* ncftp joins the fight for good measure
< Apple> Hey guys buy my 2MB iPoop!
-!- elinks is now known as ftr
< chrome> Apple: You need to be safari
* opera refuses to use flash on linux
* Firefox sits there quietly taking Internet_Explorer 's market share
* opera hates Adobe_Flash_Plugin
* chrome just works
-!- ncftp is now known as w3m
< Adobe_Flash_Plugin> opera: Come on! I have a Linux version! It only depends on 87 libraries, 13 of which don't actually exist
* w3m quietly plots to take over the entire browsing world, in a very emo-like fashion
<@WebKit> Apple: daddy!
< ftr> w3m sucks
< opera> Adobe_Flash_Plugin, i have wrapped you with the firefox plugin wrapper. you fail to work correctly anyway
< ftr> elinks > lynx > w3m
* Firefox gives w3m a swirlie
* Internet_Explorer sucks CPU usage more than a broke hooker with a vacuum.
< Milk> firefox > elinks
* opera laughs derisively at Internet_Explorer
< Adobe_Flash_Plugin> opera: Does your computer meet the minimum specifications? 4 GHz, 8 GB
* chrome laughs loudly at all the other browsers
* Firefox uses a proxy wihtout messing with OS settings
* opera reconfigures it's interface, most intuitively
<@relsqui> chrome: you're ugly.
* Internet_Explorer tries to open a new tab, freezes.
< Milk> chrome doesn't have addons or themes, so SUCK IT
* Firefox tries to have a mobile child .. fails
* ftr cuddles chrome
< Milk> IE has tabs?
< Milk> WTF?
* Internet_Explorer closes.
< ftr> don't worry chrome...it'll be ok
< chrome> relsqui: You're mean.
-!- cls is now known as Links
* chrome cuddles up to ftr
* Links feels unloved.
< ftr> Milk: it will, in may when gears goes live properly
-!- lily is now known as Apache
* opera notes that no-one is showing it the love
* Apache processes all your requests
< Milk> Minimo is the closest you can get to FireFox Mobile right now.
* Links has no Chrome. Links has Curses. Links cries herself to sleep.
-!- Milk is now known as Minimo
-!- ftr is now known as PIE
* Firefox wonders what life has come to when none of his best features are in trunk
-!- PIE is now known as ftr
< chrome> PIE!
* Internet_Explorer cannot display the webpage.
< ftr> ffs
< chrome> I LOVE PIE
< ftr> who registered PIE
* Links cls
-!- ftr is now known as mobileopera
< w3m> Apache, the überprostitute of the interwebs
* mobileopera sucks compared to PIE, in a strange turn of events
< Links> Uh.
< Apache> indeed.
-!- Adobe_Flash_Plugin is now known as telnet_80
-!- Links is now known as cls
-!- GlovePie is now known as Milk
* opera passes new features to mobileopera
* telnet_80 works on every OS evar!!1!
* Internet_Explorer crashes after visiting a site running a script too complex for it to handle.
< Milk> Pie isn't that bad once you have Spb Pocket Plus
* mobileopera sits there reaaranging eveything on the page to fit the screen and spends ages doing it, hogging all your phones recourses
< Milk> You get tabs and whatnot
* Firefox crashes ... again
* mobileopera doesn't close correctly
* mobileopera slows your smartphone to a crawl
* Firefox is stuck open
< Apple> nick Crashed
* mobileopera reopens itself if you close the process
* opera exits gracefully
* Firefox freeses and causes a kernel panic

#8300 (+30/-1)
<PacifistDalek> So, #xkcd, are you guys pro-pun or anti-pun? Because if you're pro-pun, I have a story to tell
<hexium> PacifistDalek: we believe a good pun is its own reword
<PacifistDalek> hexium: awesome.
<PacifistDalek> Well, a buddy of mine told me this (true) story.
<PacifistDalek> This guy is one of the greatest/worst pun-makers I've ever met
<PacifistDalek> he can just come up with them off the top of his head over and over again
<PacifistDalek> We (my friends and I) tend to just groan and throw whatever we have in reach at him whenever he puns
<PacifistDalek> But anyways
<PacifistDalek> he was visiting his girlfriend
<PacifistDalek> and they went on a walk near her old high school
<PacifistDalek> her high school had a big gong-bell-thing that was rung whenever something did someone awesome, like score a goal in a school sports games or whatever
<PacifistDalek> she had only rung it a handful of times back when she was in high school
<PacifistDalek> (her school had reprimanded anyone who had rung it when it wasn't warranted)
<PacifistDalek> So she decided to ring it then...and she did so...
<PacifistDalek> Then my friend turned to her and said "You ring a bell, and now I will give my belle a ring"
<PacifistDalek> And that's how my pun-loving friend used a pun to propose to his girlfriend
<PacifistDalek> (she said yes)
<PacifistDalek> *fin*
<Science> PacifistDalek, I hope to one day be as much of a pun master as this fine fellow.

#2503 (+5/-1)
<Muze> i collect big black dildos
<ZettaWatt> I played with them because they were toys. Actually, I just threw them at my sister, mostly.

#4978 (+0/-2)
<PSOAddict> I am trying to figure out who I am. I guess I am not a comedian.

#4663 (+22/-6)
< Dysaniak> Soo.... Let me tell you a story of a city called Munich...
< Dysaniak> In Munich, many many people were getting dogs as pets.
< Dysaniak> It was very popular.
< Dysaniak> So many, in fact, that stray dogs were becoming a serious issue for Munich.
< snark> Dysaniak: they're Munchen on the furniture and whatnot?
< Dysaniak> And not just little, innocent puppies, but bigger dogs too, great big hounds.
< Dysaniak> So now, there are these packs of hounds roaming the streets.
< Dysaniak> People are afraid to go out at night.
< Dysaniak> It's a real big problem.
< Dysaniak> So they get up some guys with torches and guns, and run the dogs out of town, into the hills.
< Dysaniak> And they live there for a while, hunting rabbits, and deer...
< Dysaniak> Until all the wildlife has been eradicated!
< Cojaro> oh nose
< Bucket> OH SNOW!
< Dysaniak> By now, they are truly feral, and there is nothing to be done when they come looking for food, on the other side of the hills, to a town where the main industry is Paper.
< Dysaniak> And they storm into the paper mills, and the workers can't do anything, so they flee.
< Dysaniak> To this DAY, no one has been able to empty the place of these packs.
< Dysaniak> You can hear them, from the town, howling.
< Dysaniak> And little children ask, "Pappa, what is that sound?"
< Dysaniak> And all fathers must reply,
< snark> here it comes...
< Cojaro> ...
< Bucket> [You hear someone cursing shoplifters.]
< Nikc> Here we go
* Nikc drumrolls
< Dysaniak> "Ah, the mills are alive with the hounds of Munich."

#195 (+3/-0)
FlyingSpaghettiMonster: the FlyingSpaghettiMonster is the only constant
FlyingSpaghettiMonster: everything else is faulse
FlyingSpaghettiMonster: false*
* melvar wonders about pi
FlyingSpaghettiMonster: :)
Hermiene: Spice is the source of Life.
FlyingSpaghettiMonster: pi .. is
FlyingSpaghettiMonster: -.-
FlyingSpaghettiMonster: 42 is
melvar: good
Hermiene: spice > 42
FlyingSpaghettiMonster: i have 42 noodly appendages
FlyingSpaghettiMonster: :O
Stereo: 6.02 x 10^28?
melvar: when come back, bring pi
Hermiene: I want to suck on your spicy 42 noodly appendages.
FlyingSpaghettiMonster: -_-
* Cctoide ramens Hermiene
FlyingSpaghettiMonster: Spiciness is an illusion
Hermiene: Oh man, that'd make a great hentai film.

#4610 (+1/-0)
<snark> I grew up with it being spelled cheque
<bearachute> blah
<bearachute> i'll spell you the rest of the way
<bearachute> or implement some cheques and balances?
<bearachute> ....sigh
<bearachute> I'll see my way out.
<snark> it's that way
<snark> the exit
* Dark-Fx shuts the door behind bearachute

#8837 (+48/-0)
< ryzorg_> we should ping R a ndall
< ryzorg_> a few times
< ryzorg_> or alot
-!- ryzorg_ was kicked from #xkcd by billygoat [I can allot you a lot of alots.]
< Bucket> I suspect puppeting.

-!- ryzorg_ [Ryan@hide-C55007CB.maine.res.rr.com] has joined #xkcd
< ryzorg_> i can't use incorrect grammar like alot?
-!- ryzorg_ was kicked from #xkcd by billygoat [I can allot you a lot of alots.]
< Bucket> GOOOAAALL!

-!- ryzorg_ [Ryan@hide-C55007CB.maine.res.rr.com] has joined #xkcd
< Ahrotahntee> alot is a stopword
< ryzorg_> a lot*
< Ahrotahntee> fyi
< ryzorg_> stopword?
-!- ryzorg_ was kicked from #xkcd by billygoat [Nice try.]
< Bucket> Everyone's got a ban with their name on it; the trick is dying of old age before it finds you.

#4284 (+0/-0)
<PurityOfEssence> To express my detest for G. Brown
<PurityOfEssence> I jest that I threaten the Crown
<PurityOfEssence> Yet if I were Islamic
<PurityOfEssence> They'd not get this but panic
<PurityOfEssence> I'd spend forty two days underground

#5293 (+20/-6)
< Maahes> in Soviet Russia, Yakov Smirnov is still funny

#4473 (+0/-9)
* Pungent_Liquid snaps
* Pungent_Liquid knocks over a table
* Pungent_Liquid tears down the curtains
* Pungent_Liquid throws a TV set at Nikc
<Nikc> Ouch
* Pungent_Liquid rummages through the cupboard and slings jars everywhere
* Pungent_Liquid jumps on on the window sill with a box of crackers
* Pungent_Liquid jumps through the glass three stories down
* Pungent_Liquid takes off running into the sunset
<Nikc> ...
<Bucket> [Meanwhile, back at the ranch ...]
<Nikc> Apparently Pungent_Liquid is Chuck Norris

#228 (+7/-1)
<Cctoide> Q: Why can't you carpet bomb the Middle East?
<Cctoide> A: Because they've already got more carpets than they can use.
<shadebug> ergo, dropping more will cause saturation and eventually explosion
<shadebug> that's why they call it carpet bombing

#4028 (+7/-0)
<lantech> you can OD on caffeine, alcohol, aspirin and lots of other legal drugs.
<InitHello> lantech: it's theoretically possible, but the LD50 of THC is so insane that it's practically impossible
<ZettaWatt> I knew a guy who OD'd on caffeine. He was really stupid. Lit himself on fire a lot.

#10113 (+30/-2)
<zippers> Mary had a little lamb. She tied it to a pylon. 10,000 volts went up its leg, and turned its wool to nylon.
<zippers> Mary had a little lamb. She also had a bear. I've often seen her little lamb. I've never seen her bare.
<zippers> Mary had a little lamb. She also had a goat. I've poked her little lamb. But never poke the goat.
billygoat sets ban on *!peterb@*.hinet-ip.hinet.net
billygoat has kicked zippers from #xkcd (Goat-ed)

#5505 (+0/-3)
<@khmer> i had an interactive dwim shell and before you knew it my HDD was so full of porn my machine wouldn't boot

#6789 (+28/-6)
<Bucket> Okay, problem-attic, remembering "Okay, remember, deleted that 'remember quotes' is '<remember> Bucket: remember remember the fifth of november'.".

#4844 (+0/-3)
< noey> i told a friend of mine today that i had been visiting this place and when he understood the xkcd connotation he got really excited
< noey> i keep forgetting how people don't really understand the internets
< noey> i had to spend some time explaining about how the sun doesn't actually rise and set in randall's pants

#9702 (+19/-2)
* Opiboble gives Bucket a gaggle of hugs
* Bucket hands Opiboble a big cup of STFU in exchange for a gaggle of hugs
<Opiboble> :(

#10299 (+14/-2)
<Cheez> when does the olympics start?
<Palomides> two days ago
<Cheez> ah

#694 (+11/-0)
<@khmer> xkcd is gayer than a vinyl chestplate with peter frampton's signature on it
<@khmer> he's gayer than ryan seacrest drinking an appletini at 3 PM
<@khmer> he's gayer than that time alan turing demonstrated how to deform a genus-1 manifold using werner von braun and a cucumber!

#8838 (+10/-2)
<XMPPwocky> puddle: ... so /are/ you a terrorist?
<Ravana> XMPPwocky: I think the fourth ammendment comes into effect here
<relsqui> Ravana: er ... fifth?
<Ravana> er, fifth
<relsqui> "I refuse to quarter troops in my house!" (except that's third)
<Antiluke> What is the fourth, search and seizure?
<flicky> So fourth is...?
<XMPPwocky> flicky: stack-based language

#1368 (+6/-0)
<Cellshot> Bucket, forget everything.
<Bucket> I do not know.

#8434 (+21/-8)
<Frowardd> Who has two thumbs and a foreskin? THIS GOY.

#9362 (+5/-3)
< fantasyprone> I wonder if you can hollow out a pineapple and fill it with coconut
< fantasyprone> and hollow out a coconut and fill it with pineapple
< fantasyprone> and hollow me out and fill me with booze

#4489 (+2/-1)
<Unbibium> "Where do babies come from" isn't a science question; it's geography, right?

#1674 (+6/-0)
<CheshireCat> this isn't right
<CheshireCat> it's 5 am and I have to close thie window because the birds are singing too loudly ><
<RK> chirpchirpchirp
<RK> squawk chirpchirp
<RK> trilllcheeep
<CheshireCat> RK, you're a tool.
<RK> you can't get away
<RK> chirp, chirpchirp
<RK> churrtrillleeep
<RK> cheep! cheep cheep
<tobbez> weekk, wekk, weeekk wekk wekk wekk!
<RK> chirpchirp
* Ophichius quietly loads his shotgun.
<tobbez> WEKK!
<RK> treeep chirpchirp cheeep
<Ophichius> ...Maybe a punt gun would work better.
<RK> whonk honk whooonk
<RK> cheep cheep
<Kaspa> I'm thinking napalm
<RK> trilleeep
<RK> wakk wakk wakk wakk
<tobbez> wekk wekk wekk weeekk
<RK> chirpchirpchirp
<RK> trillltrilleep!

#795 (+0/-6)
< AngryRooster_> Portal is apparently pro feminist. See, the portals represent vaginas. http://www.gamesradar.com/us/xbox360/game/features/article.jsp?releaseId=2006071916221774024'articleId=20071207115329881080'sectionId=1003'pageId=20071207115724980042
< spoonifur> Isn't the main character a girl?
-!- niteice [ice@A5AD2C81.30FBFD63.71DA0562.IP] has joined #xkcd
< jercos> inconceivable!
< AngryRooster_> Yes, and that is just one way in which it subverts the strong masculine overtone that the FPS genre normally carries!
< moss> that was the biggest bullshit i have ever seen. and im taking philosophy.
< AngryRooster_> 'A psychoanalytic reading would likely conclude that the portal is an image of the female sex organs: oval and receptive, and also a metaphorical birth canal through which the protagonist is constantly being born into new trials.'

#6367 (+13/-1)
* Turtle falls in puddle
* Puddle gets Turtle all wet.

#7243 (+11/-1)
< fedoragirl> Bucket: undo last <reply> Sorry, $who, you can't not undo that.
< Bucket> Sorry, fedoragirl, you can't undo that.

#4804 (+7/-1)
plantofail was kicked from #xkcd by Laura [Girly name, please.]
< christina> I thought laura went to bed?
< Dana> geek bedtime is a long drawn out process

#7052 (+42/-8)
<Pool> The average in here is 22 or 23, I think. I also think the ops are older because it's like they're camp counselors.
<airtank> Pool: l m f a o
<airtank> we are totally camp counselors
<airtank> we even have camp names
<Pool> Yeah.
<Spork> airtank is the cool counselor.
<Spork> snark is the one nobody wants to be stuck with.
<Pool> I mean, khmer mutes the channel to sing songs.
<Spork> relsqui's the one that always makes delicious snacks.
<aqualis> i could totatlly be that camper who sets things on fire
<Spork> mewyn's the weird one that always makes kids do lame arts and crafts.
<snark> Hermiene's the one that appears on the roster but never comes out to supervise any activities
<Pool> What about davean?
<Pool> and Xavier?
<aqualis> absentee camp directors?
<Spork> Pool: Camp administrators.
<res0> davean is also in charge of fixing the machinery of the camp
<Spork> zigdon's the exciting one with the cool stories.
<Pool> Billygoat is the camp mascot.
<Spork> Pool: No, that's Bucket.
<Pool> Oh, right
<aqualis> billygoat is the camp bouncer
<res0> billygoat is the security guard
<Pool> At orientation they would probably refer to "and billygoat will give you the boot" over and over next to a cartoon drawing of a goat in the manual
<snark> and people would still walk up and poke him
<snark> because people are retards

#5383 (+0/-9)
<Jenzipan> everyone's like OHHHH LOOK THAT MONKEY CAN OPEN COCONUTS AND MAKE STRAWS OUT OF STICKS.
<Jenzipan> big fecking woop
<Jenzipan> we make straws out of plastic, bitch.
<Jenzipan> i could do that but i bet if someone filmed /me/ breaking open a coconut on a rock and finding a hollow straw to drink the milk with no one would care
<Jenzipan> why is it so impressive for an orangutan to do it? they are still nothing like as advanced as us.
<Jenzipan> why are we so impressed by them

#6178 (+119/-15)
<Kieran> I need superglue
<Kieran> So I can at least get it somewhat in
<Lisimba> You need lube for that, not glue.
<Kieran> lol
<Kieran> No, it wont fit inside anymore
<Kieran> It mostly goes in
<Kieran> but a little bit doesnt
<Kieran> and it falls out
<Kieran> :(
* Lisimba falls over laughing
<freelancer> ...do I want to know what you're talking about? =/
<Kieran> A metal ring that goes around my k-slot? O_o
<Lisimba> Yeah. Context is everything.
<Lisimba> But before you stick glue in your slot, work out *why* it's not fitting anymore.
<Kieran> I dunno :(
<Lisimba> Well, stick it in, see where it stops, then work out what stops it.
<Lisimba> Basic trouble shooting.
<Lisimba> Sticking it in halfway and then glueing it there is... ick.
<freelancer> Yeah, this conversation really needs context XD
<Kieran> I cant see inside when I'm sticking it in
<Lisimba> Use a magnifier or something.
<Kieran> no, it obscures it
<Kieran> you cant see inside when you push it to where it cant go in
<Lisimba> ...no, look inside when it's not in there.
<Kieran> I see the lights, the lot slot that goes through the center of the ring, and a little bit of metal foil
<Lisimba> Maybe the foil got bent and is in the way or something.
<Lisimba> That's what you got to work out.
<Kieran> it's not that solid
<Kieran> when I push it in, one side sticks in and the other sticks out
<Kieran> I cant push both sides in at the same time
<katiedid> o.0
<Lisimba> See where it pivots.
<katiedid> That sounds.... really weird out of context
<Kieran> I'm gonna tape it on for now
<Kieran> so I dont lose it
<katiedid> ...
<katiedid> ............
<Lisimba> Where it pivots is where it's stuck, generally.
<Kieran> Katie, what?
<katiedid> This conversation keeps getting better
<katiedid> Sorry, I think dirty, dirty thoughts
<Lisimba> Kieran: just about everything you said so far sounds really funny when taken out of context.
<Lisimba> katiedid: you're a dirty, dirty woman.
<Kieran> the part that goes through the hole
<Lisimba> hahahaha
<katiedid> s/woman/girly
<Kieran> it's not going through all the way or something
<katiedid> ...
<freelancer> This conversation is awesome -_-
<Lisimba> Kieran: have you tried pushing gentrly?
<Lisimba> *gently?
<Lisimba> Maybe you *do* need lube.
<Kieran> lol
<Kieran> it's like
<Kieran> the part were it gets thicker
<Kieran> doesnt fit in the hole
<Kieran> but the thin part does
<Nek> ...
<Nek> I clearly need to scroll upwards.
<Nek> I hope.
<Lisimba> Maybe it's deformed.
<Kieran> It doesnt look deformed
<Kieran> it just looks too thick
<Kieran> I dont know how they stuck it through there in the first place
<Lisimba> It fit in before, it came out, so it went through twice already.
<katiedid> It should go in again
<katiedid> And again
<freelancer> Katie has lots of experience with this.
<katiedid> It's okay to try and force it
<Kieran> I just dont know why it wont fit :(
<Lisimba> So figure it out.
<katiedid> Make it fit
<Kieran> it's not that easy
<katiedid> One word
<katiedid> PICS
<Lisimba> Yeah. Pics of katie.
<Kieran> I dont have a camera, so I cant take a pic of the place were it goes in
<Kieran> but I have a webcam, so I can take a picture of the hole
<freelancer> I'm not sure I want a picture of your hole... >_>
<katiedid> You should probably take a picture of trying to force the thick thing into the tiny hole
<katiedid> .... I'm horrible -_-
<Kieran> god dang it, I'm not talking about sodomy right now (this time) ><

#2182 (+8/-0)
<@khmer> euler?
< cogit0> runge-kutta.
<@khmer> no, wrong
<@khmer> i'll try again
<@khmer> euler??
< lapilofu> I 'ardly know 'er?
-!- mode/#xkcd [+v lapilofu] by khmer

#4415 (+1/-12)
<%Demetrious> No. No it cannot.
<%Demetrious> This has to be one of the most wonderfully wrong things ever.
<%Demetrious> EVER.
<%Demetrious> SO of course the first thing I do is run in here and show it to all of you
<Sb-120> I just...
<Sb-120> wow
<Sb-120> here I was, happily enjoying my ant-run computer in the powder game, and suddenly you whip out your cock.
<Sb-120> Or rather, a silver plated replica thereof

#5136 (+17/-4)
<mewyn> http://i.gizmodo.com/5156202/control+a+cat-remote-only-makes-cats-more-frustrating Somehow I don't think this works
* @relsqui giggles
<@relsqui> I'ma get one for ziggy
<@relsqui> although he already has what he calls a cat remote
<@relsqui> i.e. a laser pointer
<@Glench> hah
<@relsqui> THAT one works
<@Glench> I said this at one point
<@Glench> "When you have a hammer everything looks like a nail. When you have a laser pointer, everything looks like a cat."

#10036 (+20/-5)
< Mattnpat> Oh, sorry.
< Mattnpat> I thought you were Bucket.
< binky> I get that a lot
< Bucket> I get that even more!

#6085 (+16/-0)
* furrp was kicked by relsqui (we don't care WHERE you're a dick. if you're a dick, we don't want you here.)

* furrp (imBROglio@hide-66966D9D.hsd1.md.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
* furrp (imBROglio@hide-66966D9D.hsd1.md.comcast.net) has left #xkcd (you are all wonderful individuals)
* Dirk (imBROglio@hide-66966D9D.hsd1.md.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
<@EphphathaL> hi furrp/dirk, please don't think we didn't notice :P

#7464 (+38/-6)
<killings> I can ask anyone I want for pix and not get kicked because I'm a girl
<killings> this is great because I'm a huge pervert
<killings> and I'm gonna masturbate to ALL OF YOU

#6439 (+88/-13)
<Lisimba> So the printer was like "hey stick in new transfer kit plz" and we were like "k whatever" and then the empty space in storage was like "LOLZ NO KIT HERE FUCKERS!!~!" and we were like "oshit" and we stuck the old kit back in the printer and it was like "i has new kit nao?" and we were like "hahaha sure" and the printer was like "ok <3 *printing*"

#8919 (+28/-3)
<@snark> the next bourne movie should be called "bourne again"
<@snark> tagline: just when you thought it was over
<@snark> and the one after that "Still Bourne"
<@snark> the series that just won't die

#106 (+173/-23)
< root> bangpaths are invalid, khmer. Learn @
< khmer> root: funny, your mother never told me bangpaths were invalid
< khmer> she definitely responded to ping
< Cctoide> Did you at least wrap your pipe before uploading your data, khmer?
< khmer> Cctoide: secure socks layer
< Cctoide> khmer: socks with putty?
< khmer> Cctoide: ssh tunnel
< root> ssh tunnel by proxy through my dad!
< root> pwned!
< f8> I tor into her
< khmer> DID YOU KNOW THAT SOMETIMES YOU CAN COMBINE COMPUTING TERMS AND SEXUAL INNUENDO???!???!?!???!?!??!?!