Hi! Just so you know, you can click on the $ up there to support XKCDB. (This box will go away after you vote once.)

#10402 (+14/-0)
* Rena clicks, pops, sizzles, emits black smoke
<browncoat> Is there an engineer on the plane!?
<browncoat> ("Things even more terrifying than: 'Is there a pilot on the plane?'")
<Rena> "is there a bomb technician on the plane?"
<@snark> is there a wing on the plane

#9216 (+55/-0)
<rcombs> so, NASA wants to put asteroid 1999 AO10 at Earth/Moon L2
<rcombs> that sounds awesome
<taixzo> rcombs: wait, put an asteroid there? How?
<rcombs> taixzo: it's a pretty small asteroid
<taixzo> rcombs: so they just, like, push it?
<rcombs> taixzo: more like catch it in a net and pull it back
<taixzo> Asteroid net. I like that.
<rcombs> taixzo: they're looking at a few concepts, including sticking it in a lunar orbit
<rcombs> but I like LaGrange points a lot
<Shrdlu> rcombs: Monsieur Lagrange did not camel-case his name, btw
<rcombs> Shrdlu: oh, thanks
<rcombs> Shrdlu: I'm used to LaGrange IL, the city where I live (sometimes with, sometimes without a space, but always CamelCased)
<Shrdlu> rcombs: fair enough -- in that case, you can talk about LaGrangian mechanics, but only if your car is in the shop

#4485 (+2/-6)
marc: guys guys
marc: I know how to fix the government
marc: install adblock

#2256 (+175/-23)
Eaglewolf joined the chat room.
<+Eaglewolf> Hi all
<-moderator> Eaglewolf, you have been muted for 4 seconds.
<+Eaglewolf> ahem... >.>
<-moderator> Eaglewolf, you have been muted for 16 seconds.
Eaglewolf is now known as Daenyth.
<+senji> oh sweet, sweet irony
<+Daenyth> Well, already this isn't going very well...
<+Daenyth> but I like it! :D
<-moderator> Daenyth, you have been muted for 1 minute 4 seconds.
<+Dark-Fx> What is it that you enjoy?
<+Daenyth> many many things, and none of them mentionable in polite company :P
<+Daenyth> and hey, I didn't gete muted for once :D
<+Daenyth> get^
<-moderator> Daenyth, you have been muted for 4 minutes 16 seconds.
<+Daenyth> How does the bot determine mute time? Number of mutes? Length of time since last mute? Number of times the line is repeated?
<+tarpman> Daenyth: the faq has all of that and more, check out the topic
<+Daenyth> tarpman: thanks
<-moderator> Daenyth, you have been muted for 17 minutes 4 seconds.
<+tarpman> hmm... vaguely ironic :)
<+socksy> 0.o
<+helene|Working> Look at that! a whole 17 minutes to read the FAQ
<-moderator> socksy, you have been muted for 17 minutes 4 seconds.
<+helene|Working> OK that was more explicitly ironic
socksy is now known as socksy|soworthit.
<+karanlyons> this needs to go up on xkcdb right friggin now.

<+karanlyons> Alright, let me know if I screwed something up: http://dpaste.com/71726/
<+socksy> you missed me changing my name
<+helene|Working> yeah that was the cherry on top
<+karanlyons> socksy: helene|Working: Alright fixed.
<+socksy> yay!
<-moderator> socksy, you have been muted for 34 minutes 8 seconds.
<+karanlyons> Oh boy, this is getting rather meta-funny.
<+helene|Working> haha i missed socksys last mute. Does he still deem it worth it?
socksy is now known as socksy|no.

moderator sets mode +v socksy
<+helene> congrats socksy. Be a man, go for 2 hours!
<+socksy> helene, I'd rather not.
<-moderator> socksy, you have been muted for 2 hours 16 minutes 32 seconds.

#10487 (+4/-0)
<GreenWolf> pikhq: what are the differences between fly ash and volcanic ash that cause the difference in material properties?
<CheshireCat_> flys vs. volcanos obviously

#6013 (+41/-7)
<Lisimba> Getting drunk in zero G is awesome.
<whiskeyish> oh wow. you were drunk without gravity?
<Lisimba> Well, it was really the other way around.
<freelancer> You were gravity without drunk?
<whiskeyish> gravity was drunk without you?
<Lisimba> I had some booze and tried to make gravity go away by the force of my mind.

#2248 (+20/-7)
<phyphor> Oh, and midgets? That's choice as well
<marc> why do I have midgets highlighted

#4698 (+7/-3)
* spooner was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* F-Dawg was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* komies was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Drav was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Failure was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* spoop was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Markov was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* komies (robyn@hide-347EBF.sc.res.rr.com) has joined #xkcd
* Failure (gotabo@hide-9E31ECAC.hsd1.md.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
* spoop (spoop@hide-F18928C.hsd1.ct.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
* ShortWave was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* noamsml was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Pizzutz was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* NoOneButMe was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* XX01XX was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* SolInvictus (solinvictu@625ACD4B.1DF27E4.C89DE4CC.IP) has joined #xkcd
* NoOneButMe (z@hide-8B85B339.nycmny.fios.verizon.net) has joined #xkcd
* CheshireCat was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* muze was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* NinjaWizard was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* uberushaximus was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* uberushaximus (~uberushax@hide-4D3524FB.dhcp.fdul.wi.charter.com) has joined #xkcd
* jbaikge was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<Radon> o nooo! :o
* jbaikge (jake@hide-C451A9F9.hr.hr.cox.net) has joined #xkcd
* Parak was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Parak (utterly_vi@hide-55946F7C.cable.mindspring.com) has joined #xkcd
* Lisa was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Thomas was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Lisa (Lisa@D7998609.95C5233B.355F7AC2.IP) has joined #xkcd
* CheshireCat (~CheshireC@hide-7040671E.rochester.res.rr.com) has joined #xkcd
* chakl|woot was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<SolInvictus> Oh no
* billn was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<Eule> <_< >_>
* FossZombie was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* billn (billn@hide-16505E84.billn.net) has joined #xkcd
* eclipseyue was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* LSStaf was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Tralin|Away was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* LSStaf (Staf@hide-FD5497B4.client.mchsi.com) has joined #xkcd
* sboob was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* bearachute was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* sboob (a@hide-F18928C.hsd1.ct.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
* bearachute (bearmander@hide-E78FBB3F.hsd1.pa.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
* Aegis was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* tonsofpcs was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<Radon> the humanity!
* PhantmShado_ was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* tonsofpcs (tonsofpcs@hide-76C79842.stny.res.rr.com) has joined #xkcd
* Raxo was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* vawrtuhcks was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Raxo (Raxo@hide-A4845A3B.hsd1.in.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
* Teknobo was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Tralin|Away (Tralin@hide-B95383A1.dsl.bell.ca) has joined #xkcd
* AngryOverlord was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* AngryOverlord (AngryOverl@hide-2038D5A9.san.res.rr.com) has joined #xkcd
* chriskarate was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* chriskarate (sevenplagu@hide-B44491D5.hsd1.co.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
* Langly_office was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* rivalarrival was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Steef was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<Eule> when a problem comes along, you must kick it
* Steef (sallen@hide-79B8084B.static-ip.telepacific.net) has joined #xkcd
* Phi was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* mak`` was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* mak`` (mpking@hide-BE99F6FF.socal.res.rr.com) has joined #xkcd
* Turgid was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* samn was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* eqj was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Turgid (~DFwiki@hide-631AC9D3.ph.ph.cox.net) has joined #xkcd
* eqj (~Areilah@hide-6336D60.bchsia.telus.net) has joined #xkcd
* PhantmShado was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* UnstoppableGob was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* UnstoppableGob (~10charlim@hide-50A00A85.sd.sd.cox.net) has joined #xkcd
* PSOAddict was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Radon is now known as problem
* tonyb was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* mutable_malachi was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* FsM was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* eco was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* FsM (cocks@hide-BF921683.hsd1.mn.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
* punzada was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* sung was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<NoOneButMe> i'm jewish, i'd rather avoid kicking :p
* relsqui was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Lhyzz was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* punzada (punzada@hide-EE12ABFA.com) has joined #xkcd
* wsa was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* mewyn was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* f8 was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* femmebot was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* maf54 was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* ramsey was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* cogit0 was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* carrot was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Nimsical was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* InitHello was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Whtiger was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<NoOneButMe> or was i already kicked?
* muze (~muze@hide-ED7CBDE5.lightspeed.waynmi.sbcglobal.net) has joined #xkcd
* NoOneButMe blinks
* Phthano was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Tiger was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* InitHello (~inithello@hide-A998E03B.com) has joined #xkcd
* Tiger (Tiger@hide-E579F94.zive.ca) has joined #xkcd
<Eule> NoOneButMe: why not, it's not sundown Friday yet
* Ademan was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* deadfool was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* zigdon was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* jabagawee was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<Potassium> Ah?
* Toba was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Toba (eastein@hide-C6645B82.com) has joined #xkcd
* mytmouse was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Halo pokes billygoat - SUICIDE!
* billygoat sets mode: +b *!halo@*.co.uk
* Halo was kicked by billygoat (Goat-ed)
* gavin was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* gavin (gavin@hide-BE7B8B53.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com) has joined #xkcd
* saturn was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* jin_sane was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* azulez was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Drakkar was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* kremlin was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Drakkar (Drakkar@hide-47515303.ph.ph.cox.net) has joined #xkcd
* problem is now known as TheBucket
* mdordal2 was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<Potassium> This is amusing.
* debdrup was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<NoOneButMe> hanukkah started a few days ago
* Ansible was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Overand was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<NoOneButMe> the 22nd
* Dark-Fx was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Ansible (Ansible@hide-5DF680A4.dsl.rcsntx.swbell.net) has joined #xkcd
* Aprilis was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Uhmerwell was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* OEP was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* encryptio was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* codon was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* ac was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* spenguin was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* eightyeight was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* spinfire was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* eightyeight (~aaron@hide-BAB70033.hsd1.ut.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
* keith was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* magcius_ is now known as magcius
* jercos was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* chaos95 was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* redofrac was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* shoofle was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* billygoat sets mode: -b *!halo@*.co.uk
<muze> alright guys, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU BURN THE OPT FOLDER IN LINUX, it won't fucking let me cuz i don't have permissions
<Eule> NoOneButMe: yeah, but i was thinking of the general "no work on the sabbath" thing
* Glench was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Selig was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Lefty was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Halo (halo@hide-CC39CFD5.zone4.bethere.co.uk) has joined #xkcd
* harleypig was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* CTHULHU is now known as science
* kelp was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* SeveredCross was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* the_russkey was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* dngor was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<Potassium> Hahahaha
* FunkyTuba was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<NoOneButMe> oh
* khmer was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* abzde was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* warriorness was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* vrillusions was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* thumper^ was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Val was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<science> HE'S WORSE THAN STALIN
<magcius> Mods, please kick Stereo
* jackolas was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* SummerGlau was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* Vacorsis was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<NoOneButMe> i'm just jewish enough to avoid getting kicked if i wasn't kicked yet
<Azquelt> sudo?
* infralite was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* quine was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
<Potassium> :O He booted khmer.
<Ansible> science: rofl
* Diet-Drew|MD was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas!)
* quine (quine@hide-40267F6E.dsl.pltn13.sbcglobal.net) has joined #xkcd
* Diet-Drew|MD (drew@hide-CDC7079F.dsl.pltn13.pacbell.net) has joined #xkcd
<NoOneButMe> otherwise i'm not religious
* redofrac (e@hide-F2C8222F.hsd1.ca.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
<magcius> Potassium, and Zigdon
<Diet-Drew|MD> not cool
<Bucket> Bucket, cool
<TheBucket> is it over?
<Eule> science: at least Mussolini made the kicks run on time
* Stereo was kicked by Stereo (Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!)

[ 2008-12-25 --Ed. ]

#9274 (+9/-3)
<@Shrdlu> huh, only one google hit for quoted "intercal web framework"
<@Shrdlu> *there's* an untapped market

#10382 (+7/-0)
< Oracle989> Early Antarctic exploration was so badass
< Oracle989> It's a shame there's no real nationalistic pride to be had in seafloor exploration
< XMPPwocky> giant squid eating flags?
< XMPPwocky> sorry the giant squid are doing the eating in that sentence

#6160 (+2/-7)
-!- TjOeNeR [~jan@E750707C.DA5AA049.7A1461F0.IP] has joined #xkcd
< TjOeNeR> Hello everybody!
< nazgjunk> hey TjOeNeR. At a guess, Dutch?
< TjOeNeR> jup

#71 (+5/-5)
<marty_the_monist> Linux is for fags.
<f8> which is why your here, right sweety?
<marty_the_monist> you're
<f8> amazing?
<f8> always right?
<shoofle> marty_the_monist: disagreement!
<marty_the_monist> Where, shoofle?
<LE4dGOLEM|83> marty_the_monist: Linux is for geeks, buttseks is for fags
<shoofle> I think that linux is not just for bundles of sticks, or for cigarettes.
<shoofle> LE4dGOLEM|83: no disagreement!

#2221 (+3/-8)
<+Frowardd> beneath this mask lies..
<+Frowardd> ANOTHER MASK
<Scott> You see Mr. Cready, beneath this mask lies another mask, followed by another, until eventually I am a robot, seriously.
<Debaser> I mean, you can't even touch this shit
* Debaser moonwalks
<Debaser> Oh no, you can't
<AntiFish> OH I AM SO AROUSED
<AntiFish> Debaser: i want to have your irc-babies
<Debaser> Have them
<Debaser> Needy little bastards
<AntiFish> awesome.

#8643 (+49/-0)
<@khmer> attn: extremely large jellyfish
http://theweekmagazine.tumblr.com/post/4807920279/the-lions-mane-jellyfish-is-the-largest-jellyfish
<@Shrdlu> To: Dept. of Terrifying Aquatic Life (Attn. Extremely Large Jellyfish)
<@Shrdlu> Dear sir,
<@Shrdlu> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
<@Shrdlu> I beg to remain, etc. etc. very far away.

#10196 (+23/-1)
< Taelia_> That would give AI a very large advantage.
< Walther> Taelia_: exactly
< Bucket> That's been my experience.

#6325 (+14/-4)
<XanT> I dont believe there is a man on Earth Hansen couldnt make sit down.
<remark> right over there?
<XanT> He could be talking to an enraged ghengis kahn and still make him take a seat.
<hexium> hansen should star in a CSI spin off
<@snark> why don't you take a seat
* @snark puts on sunglasses
<@snark> right over there.
<Bucket> YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#4760 (+8/-1)
snark: They took away the holiday. The tree, all the shiny presents. Came downstairs and there was nothing but coal.
genewitch: snark: coal is worth more than a dying pine tree
snark: burn tree. Get coal.
snark: Adventure games taught me that every problem can be solved with simple verbs.
creamycenter: huh?
creamycenter: i don get it
snark: Try saying that a different way.

#9085 (+12/-0)
* WassPord needs replacement bulbs for his desk lamp x_x
<NahiyanV2> oh yeah I have them in my external HDD
<WassPord> ...why do you have bulbs for my lamp in your external HDD ?
<Lisimba> Isn't that what an external HDD is for? Storage.

#4169 (+12/-0)
<@Glench> it occurs to me, gently, that a hello kitty branded maglev train would most likely have to be rebranded as "goodbye kitty"

#8062 (+179/-3)
< Daevol> I found an inconsistency in Linux (an irritating one)
< Daevol> let's say I have /foo/bar/target
< Daevol> and I have a soft link from /home/daevol/link to target
< Daevol> cd /home/daevol
< Daevol> cd link
< Daevol> cd ..
< Daevol> where am I?
< Bucket> You are in a maze of twisty passages, all alike.
< Daevol> shut up, Bucket

#8252 (+18/-9)
molot0v: OH MAN
molot0v: I just remembered I'm going to outback tonight with the missus
Bird: molot0v: can I come?
molot0v: Bird: If you masturbate, probably.
Bird: I can masturbate at dinner?
molot0v: Bird: I guess you can masturbate wherever you want, but the police might have something to say about it.
Anon-Fox: Bird: try it outside an elementary school. During recess
Bird: Anon-Fox: Say what you will about paedophiles, but at least they always slow down when driving through school zones.

#8263 (+30/-0)
<natjo> whatever you wanna call it but i had a brand new UGA hat that fit me rather well
<genewitch> UGA
<Bucket> genewitch: Unwanted Goblin Attention
<genewitch> good to know
<Bucket> Actually, I made that up.

#353 (+54/-11)
<%khmer> to use an example, let's say i relaxed my weight standards considerably and wanted airtank to date me
<TwoDaemon> Burn.
<%khmer> i could not 'deduce' her to date me
<%khmer> i could 'induce' her to date me, however!
<%khmer> (using inducements)
<%airtank> and crisco.
<lapilofu> inductions?
<%khmer> now, since deduction moves from the general to the specific, and induction moves from the specific to the general
<%khmer> it follows that one cannot use deductive reasoning to determine how any relationship will progress
<%khmer> Q.E.D., let's make out

#8160 (+47/-0)
<Draklox>: a real man needs only 2 tools...duct tape and wd 40....if it moves and it shouldnt duct tape it....if it dosent move but should wd 40 it
<Stereo>: draklox: a crowbar can do both those things
<Stereo>: if it doesn't move and should, crowbar it. if it's moving and it shouldn't, hit it with a crowbar
<bbqq>: draklox; what if it refuses to fit through a certain shaped hole
<bbqq>: draklox; due to being the wrong shape?
<Draklox>: bbqq: wd 40
<Stereo>: the crowbar can also help you shoehorn things into holes
<Draklox>: enough lube and force and anything will fit thru anything
<Stereo>: :|
<Stereo>: i don't want to have sex with you

#4913 (+20/-5)
< Spork> Bucket: it's all about the benjamins
< Bucket> I don't know that, Crayboff
< Spork> wtf
< Spork> Crayboff isn't even HERE

#6481 (+14/-0)
<Nek> I like a girl with a good leek-handling ability.

#5460 (+4/-0)
<Pungent_Liquid> Disregard that
<Bucket> Pungent_Liquid sucks cock!
<Pungent_Liquid> I do not
<Bucket> yes you do, snowball lover!

#6107 (+8/-0)
<mint> google: google: google:
google returns: "google"

#4722 (+32/-8)
Bucket: Instead of a defibrillator, I'm going to use this ferret I coated with yellow paint to look like Pikachu.
Pungent_Liquid: Flyingferret actually works as a defibrillator
snark: the problem with using ferret as a defibrillator is sometimes he doesn't work
* snark holds ferret to his chest
snark: ferret: ZAP or pfizzle?
flyingferret: ZAP
Diet-Drew|PhD: CLEAR
* snark flies across the room

#733 (+4/-0)
< NinjaWizard> I am currently pondering pancakes.
< oreth|> waffles > pancakes
< NinjaWizard> I don't have a waffleiron
< oreth|> NinjaWizard: don't need a waffle iron
< oreth|> just cleats and a hot pan

#2314 (+0/-11)
feureau: Mmmm... Cunt... I love the way the british always go, "Oh, I cunt do this, I cunt do that!"

#6323 (+33/-1)
* femmebot is in a testy mood
* letusgothen is in a testicle
<femmebot> letusgothen: that happened to me once! then my dad ejaculated!

#4331 (+1/-0)
Scott-: Jesus is watching you masturbate
jeanniecool: Yeah, but he's getting off on it, Scott-, so it all works out.

#7058 (+3/-10)
<snark> how do I shot grep?
<OcularElm> snark, well you have to download photoshop
<snark> I already have a potatochop but they say they are out of stock
<OcularElm> snark, well you should quit wearing stockings and they won't be out of stock.
<snark> I don't think they keep stockings
<snark> what is the moon
<Bucket> the moon is made of green cheese
<snark> I like cheese
<Cheese> <3 snark

#5660 (+16/-5)
<paparatti> XanT, i could get into a whole discussion about how ignored chinese, japanese, thai, vietnamese et al are ignored in britain. the land where calling chinese people chinks is still acceptable.
<XanT> Chink is acceptable?
<Bucket> "Chink Is Acceptable" would be a good name for a band.

#5135 (+8/-0)
* relsqui sets mode: +b *!*the_mind_@*.hlna.qwest.net
* TheMiNd was kicked by relsqui (I don't like trolls.)
* relsqui sets mode: +b *!*tvilece@*.vilece.net
* NoobSauce was kicked by relsqui (I don't like trolls.)
* snark was kicked by snark (relsqui doesn't like trolls)
* snark has joined #xkcd
* ChanServ sets mode: +o snark
<@relsqui> snark: :P
<@snark> :|

#7168 (+26/-9)
<fahadsadah> I failed databases for, wait for it...
<fahadsadah> NOT USING ENOUGH FUCKING CLIPART

#1025 (+14/-4)
<@creature> The similarity between a spider's web and a hot date:
<@creature> Both lead to the undoing of the fly.

#5968 (+0/-2)
<griph> intentionally seeing if this is a duplicate:
i like thunderstorms
huh, that's too bad
-moderator/#xkcd-signal- griph, you have been muted for 4 seconds.
--- moderator removes voice from griph

#5084 (+20/-5)
<PoisonousMeme> What is everyone doing
<@snark> your mother
<+InitHello> that's right, PoisonousMeme. Everyone is doing your mother.
<+InitHello> ...
<Bucket> [khmer hastily puts his pants back on.]

#7970 (+16/-0)
* Dekoa mixes Caffeine with Alcohol.
* Caffeine has evolved into...
-!- Caffeine is now known as AlcoholCaffeine
< Dekoa> SWEET!
< Dekoa> What else can we mix with Caffeine?
* Dekoa mixes Sugar into Caffeine
* AlcoholCaffeine explodes into...
-!- AlcoholCaffeine is now known as AlcoholicSugar
* AlcoholicSugar feels high
< AlcoholicSugar> INTAKE ME
< Anon-Fox> o.o
< AlcoholicSugar> EAT ME
* Bucket cuts AlcoholicSugar into thin slices and eats with a pair of chopsticks

#10333 (+11/-0)
< kitten> usb powered fleshlight warmers are a thing
< kitten> amazing
< goost73> kitten: we live in the FUTURE
< kitten> XD
* goost73 also ponders how much fleshlight warming is possible with 2.5 watts
< goost73> although I think USB3 will deliver three-phase if you want it, so I dunno
<@barometz> probably won't get it to body temperature, but anything up from room temp is probably an improvement
< goost73> barometz: I wonder if there's a temperature band where it's like a warm toilet seat, though
< goost73> barometz: "ew, someone else was just here"
<@barometz> the unclammy valley

#675 (+19/-4)
<Bryan> ll
* Bryan inserts an o between l's
<snark> GOOOOAL!

#1034 (+4/-1)
<monthx> Do they speak English in Belgium?
<Illarane|Laptop> They speak Flemish, which is actually Dutch under a different name.
<Illarane|Laptop> Though most Europeans speak English.
<Illarane|Laptop> Though not necessarily the ones from England. ;)
<monthx> How do you call people from Belgium?
<monthx> The Belgish?
<Illarane|Laptop> Belgians.

#522 (+152/-21)
xkcd: Bucket: spoiler?
Bucket: xkcd: I don't know
xkcd: Bucket: spoiler?
Bucket: xkcd: I cannot access that data
xkcd: BUCKET IS BROKEN
xkcd: Bucket: are you okay?
Bucket: xkcd: That data is not available
xkcd: Bucket: bucket?
Bucket: i am BROKEN
xkcd: hahahahahaha

#9696 (+31/-0)
<etta> I'm going to make my signature a set of runes to summon cthulhu when written thrice. some forger will get a nasty surprise when they practice copying my signature, and I'll know when someone tries it by the world ending

#8741 (+25/-2)
<@relsqui> there's actually an /r/circlejerk? I thought that was just reddit
<@snark> /r/circlejerk is where you go when you're so sick of reddit that the only thing you can do is more reddit
<@snark> it's like reddit's parody of itself
<@snark> I once got to its front page with the post "Can we please stop upvoting posts that just complain about other posts?"

#1593 (+2/-1)
<ESS>Eating brains sounds cool, until you actually try some head cheese.

#6192 (+12/-4)
* relsqui rolls 2d5
< flyingferret> relsqui got: 5 for a total of 8.

#6662 (+15/-4)
<stiglet> ...have you met a cute loud Asian girl, ever? =\
<spenguin> stiglet: I can make the girls loud
<spenguin> they scream at me to get away :-(