Hi! Just so you know, you can click on the $ up there to support XKCDB. (This box will go away after you vote once.)

#5759 (+27/-6)
<Cheez> if ferret says don't trust ferret, then either it's lying in which case we must trust ferret, which means it's telling the truth and we mustn't trust ferret and... *pop*
<darthmarth37|LT> Paradox!
<Bucket> [Two doctors enter.]
* Doc has joined #xkcd

#2317 (+4/-0)
<Zen|Drawing> saltdog: just trying to capture your true essence and soul ;P
<saltdog> picture a navy blue unicorn running backwards in a cornfield then diving horn first into a pool of happy

#313 (+31/-7)
<%root> Bucket: SLASH
< Bucket> SLASH is PUNISHABLE BY DEATH!
< kakos> Bucket: SLASH ~= s/DEATH/SEX/
< Bucket> OK, kakos
< kakos> Bucket: SLASH?
< Bucket> SLASH is always appreciated
< kakos> slash?
< Bucket> a user said slash was PUNISHABLE BY SEX!
<%root> Bucket: SLASH =~ s/SEX/DEATH/
<%Hermiene> Bucket: SLASH =~ s/SEX/ICE CREAM/
< Bucket> That doesn't contain 'SEX', Hermiene
<%root> Bucket: SLASH =~ s/DEATH/DEATH BY SEXECUTION/
<%Hermiene> Bucket: SLASH =~ s/DEATH/ICE CREAM/
< Bucket> OK, Hermiene
<%Hermiene> Bucket: SLASH
< Bucket> the users said that SLASH is PUNISHABLE BY ICE CREAM BY SEXECUTION!

#10549 (+27/-2)
<@zetlen> fucking global elite giraffe fucks
<@zetlen> can't face how bad their neck idea was
<@zetlen> FIND SOME SHORTER TREES YOU BIG YELLOW PISSBUCKETS
<@zetlen> you spindly failures
<@zetlen> imagine how shitty giraffe dating apps are
<@zetlen> "All i care about is neck height", is the one checkbox, that's all you get
<@zetlen> genitals and neck length
<@zetlen> it's not even fun! it just matches you up with the longest available nearby neck
<@zetlen> "here," mumbles the app joylessly. "she's got a long neck"
<@zetlen> and then you get there and she photoshopped her fucking neck
<@zetlen> she's a fucking okapi
<@zetlen> you're like FUCK
<@zetlen> now she's gonna say i'm ANTI-OKAPI when it was HER misrepresenting her FUCKING neck length
<@zetlen> if YOU'RE so pro-okapi, WHY DID YOU HIDE YOUR STRIPEY LEGS and LENGTHEN YOUR NECK IN PHOTOSHOP and SAY YOU DON'T WANT KIDS
<@zetlen> then i realize it was the wrong app
<@zetlen> i was actually in the OK(api)Cupid app
<@zetlen> and it was just an innocent okapi with a giraffe cosplay fetish
<@zetlen> and i'm like "Oh fuck, Carol, I just found out--Don't gallop away, I didn't realize that--Sorry aaaaaa I'm open minded about okapis, for real"
<@zetlen> and i chase her through the brush as she runs away from the date, crying big okapi tears
<@zetlen> and i'm like GIVE ME A CHANCE, i'm a WOKE GIRAFFE
<@zetlen> and then my long dipshit neck hits a low-lying branch, i bend in half and uppercut myself with my own collarbone, knocked unconscious
<@zetlen> i dream
<@zetlen> "this is because my neck sucks, isn't it"
<@zetlen> yes, me. yes it is
<@zetlen> i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i just--i thought necks were the best,
<@zetlen> my head hurts and my date--did my date happen? i can't remember
<@zetlen> i look at my phone and there's an article on the Daily Wildebeest
<@zetlen> "I Went On A Date With An Asshole Giraffe. What Did I Learn?"
<@zetlen> 34K retweets
<@zetlen> so anyway i'm like, fuck, reputation ruined, did she use my name
<@zetlen> thankfully not, but there are enough identifying details--she talked about my spots, and the weird way i pronounce "ibex"
<@zetlen> and i think, fuck, i could really use some leaves
<@zetlen> and i look around and i realize like
<@zetlen> i hit this tree, and a bunch of leaves...fell off it....onto...the ground
<@zetlen> i've gotta...we don't need...we can just bump into the trees and...we don't need...the neck
<@zetlen> so i go tell my buddies, like, what if we asked some rhinos to bump trees and we shared the leaves with them
<@zetlen> this suggestion goes all the way up to The Lengthiest
<@zetlen> the council of the lengthiest convenes about this suggestion
<@zetlen> The Cloud Botherer, leader of the Council of the Lengthiest, appears before the populace, still mumbling about that viral story that was trending, about that shitty date with the okapi
<@zetlen> "We have thought upon the Rhino Symbiosis Proposal, and we have come to a decision"
<@zetlen> "We cannot enter into any arrangement with the Rhinos."
<@zetlen> "Because...we look down on their kind."
<@zetlen> "We will dispatch an envoy to the Rhino Council to inform them of our decision."
<@zetlen> it's me. it's me, i'm the envoy
<@zetlen> my neck's still sore and i'm still embarrassed and stuff, but okay, i take the dirty leaf we offer them and run a few kilonecks to the Rhino Council
<@zetlen> so they take the message, and they go around the horn about it
<@zetlen> i'm all standing there, out of breath, and they're like "Wait, so, why again?" all peering up at my little head
<@zetlen> "It's...no offense, but...they say we look down on you."
<@zetlen> and they're like "Oh, makes sense actually. I mean, look at you."
<@zetlen> and i go "So that doesn't hurt your feelings?"
<@zetlen> and The Stubbiest, the head of the Rhino Council, says to me, he says
<@zetlen> "Nah, we've got pretty thick skins."

#867 (+0/-3)
Studley joined the chat room.
<nameless> geekthras_: does ear wax come out durring an eargasm?
<Geekthras_> yes
<Geekthras_> It melts and shoots out
<Studley> that's disturbing for being the first thing to see...
<nameless> gross
<Geekthras_> Studley:sorry
<Geekthras_> Well it's a good way to rid your ears of it
<nameless> studley: Have you ever had an eargasm?

#5649 (+7/-0)
<Nikc> maLLee: I was thinking of your denizens photo
<maLLee> ... and doing what?

#4135 (+38/-9)
<femmebot> aw fuck i peeled a bit of skin off my face and now it's a different color in that spot than the foundation
<Flibberdy> you're more worried about foundation colour than the fact that part of your face peeled off?
<Flibberdy> women is crazy

#448 (+35/-8)
< khmer_at_work> you know who never got eaten by a grue?
< khmer_at_work> MOSES
<%relsqui> prove it.
< khmer_at_work> relsqui: Exodus 34:30

[ http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Exodus%2034:30 --Ed. ]

#480 (+6/-0)
10:50 < zombie_monkey> teehee
10:50 < zombie_monkey> there's a local ISP called predatornet
10:50 < zombie_monkey> what are these morons thinking :D
10:52 < Meta> obviously they're child pornographers

#2163 (+8/-1)
<Mantissa> I'm a brain in a vat, but I will open the vat... with my penis!
<Maximinus> so you're a brain with a penis in a vat?
<Teknobo> http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/3/21/
<Mantissa> Maximinus: it's my pineal gland.
<Mantissa> It's a penis.
<Nadando> the lhc is our penis and we will use it to open the lid of the universe
<Mantissa> Nadando: that was the metaphor I was getting to if you'd just given me enough damn time to extrapolate the other terms!
<Mantissa> I collide hardons

#1073 (+14/-4)
<thefiddler> Oh, look, shower time!
<zigdon> ooh, where do I go to look?!

#8846 (+25/-1)
<Caffeine> Mindhack: Think blackboard. Think chalk. Think *sckreeeeeeeeeeeeeech*
<@snark> Caffeine: saying "think blackboard think chalk think screech" in no way activates my imagination
<@snark> Caffeine: you could use a story, maybe. People love stories and know exactly what to do when they start hearing one. "There I was, immersed in the boring task of writing lines on the blackboard, chalk in hand, getting it all over my fingers, the smell of it in the room, when something caught my eye. There was something on the floor, in the corner of the room.
<@snark> I stopped, mid-yawn from my boring task, and took a step towards the object, when my foot caught and BAM, I slammed teeth first into the blackboard. Screeeech all the way down."
<Joker> Owwww
<@snark> I'm just saying, you need to get someone to be actually using their imagination before you can exploit it. Gotta boot up the system first.
<@snark> Caffeine: see, it worked :)
<Joker> :(
<Caffeine> snark: I based the hack off a previously successful attempt
<@snark> oh well
<Axalto> Guys, have you ever just stopped whatever you are doing,
<Axalto> looked around
<Axalto> and thought to yourself, "man, humanity is pretty freaking weird"
<Axalto> weird yet awesome
<Axalto> think about it, you're right now using a machine to chat with people all over the world
<Axalto> with a latency of at max a second
<Axalto> and we all accept it as normal or even "old technology"
<Axalto> think about a cell
<Axalto> go to the wikipedia page of it
<Axalto> and then realize you have millions of them
<Axalto> all those cells, little factories are constantly working at near-perfect efficiency
<@snark> think about a blackboard. Think about how crazy it is that we make marks on it with bits of powdery white rock. Think about that experience, writing on the blackboard. It's amazing to imagine that sound when it all goes horribly wrong.
<Caffeine> snark: i see what you did there
<acegiak> I can comprehend a tree, and go "holy fuck am I on some alien planet? there are these organisms that filter both the atmposhere and the geosphere not only causing themselves to continue but to also support massive amounts of ecosystem"
<@snark> acegiak: I just think it's amazing that we can punch trees until they break, and then make tools out of the wood.
<Axalto> snark, you're not thinking on an atomic level enough
<Axalto> think of how the atoms themselves interact to make matter and everything possible
<@snark> think of how many things that don't matter are made out of stuff that is matter
<Axalto> ha!
<Caffeine> Axalto: Think of the sun. It warms us, gives us the premise for life. And all of this while being millions of kilometers away. And that's only from tiny particles of mass crashing into each other and fusing; particles we can't even see
<acegiak> snark, have you ever stopped and thought about creepers? That natural selection could favour an organism that explodes with very little threat in order to protect those with similar but not directly related genetics?"
<Caffeine> sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
<@snark> Atoms are crazy. Picture for a moment a group of atoms playing a game of pool with an electron. The room is smoky, and the electron huddles in the center of the table, staring up against the glare of the lamp above. Imagine the furrowed eyebrows and concentration as the leader of the atom gang tongues his stogie to the other side of his mouth and lines up a shot. There's no metaphor here, but wouldn't that be crazy?
<Axalto> think of how we can just create a full virtual world for free with map editing tools
<Axalto> CPUs are awesome
<Axalto> GPUs are even more awesome
<@snark> Think about how we can create a map out of the real world with nothing but paper, formed from woodpulp, and crayons, formed from rainbows and earwax
<@snark> Think of all the tiny numbers bouncing around inside your computer. Where do they come from? Where do they go when we delete them? We just don't know.
<Axalto> Actually yes we do
<@snark> Don't spoil the wonder of the universe man. Once you spoil that it will never come back. It is gone forever. Look what you did.
<@snark> Apologize to that CPU.
<@snark> I fear not that we shall ever run out of wonders, but that we may one day run out of wonder. And it will be all your fault because you think we can explain where integers go when they die.
<Caffeine> Axalto: Allow me to jump from your microscopic view to macro; we're one planet. Everything we humans have done, all our history, all our discoveries. All our wars, all our suffering, all our politics. Every word ever said, every keystroke ever tapped has happened inside of this tiny insignificant sphere of air and metal and dust. Close to everything we know. All in this tiny little place. Our world. Our entire existence. One planet among ...
<Caffeine> ... billions in our galaxy, one galaxy among millions. If there is just one other sentient world out there, it's more to comprehend than what is humanly possible. One world would make so much difference; making our world and all our knowledge and events. Our existence. Just one among others. Insignificant.
<Caffeine> And that makes me feel very alone
<@snark> Don't feel alone because the universe is vast and empty and all we've ever known to exist is within the bounds of a dust mote floating in the infinite void. Feel alone because you're sitting around discussing this on IRC.
<Caffeine> I love the mountains... I love the clear blue sky. I love our tiny sphere. It is everywhere. I love the whole 'verse, and all it's sights and stuff...
<@snark> your ex told me about your tiny spheres
<Caffeine> snark: Well that's well and all, I don't have an ex
<@snark> your why then.
<@snark> I heard about it from the philosophy of the endless collective unconscious, the whys and wherefores of which are shared by all. It told me that our sphere is tiny, as are all the spheres against the stage of space.
<@snark> that's your why, I guess.

#9074 (+23/-2)
<Gr8Cthulhu> random trivia, who can identify this: http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b379/1kmikze/Me/LeftInnerWrist.jpg
<@snark> Gr8Cthulhu: I can. It's your left inner wrist.
<InitHello> Gr8Cthulhu: that is a tattoo
<Gr8Cthulhu> snark is right!
<@snark> \o/
<Gr8Cthulhu> wait, so is inithello!
<InitHello> \o/
<@snark> we're all right
<Gr8Cthulhu> we're alright
* AntiLuke (AntiLuke@hide-E01C134E.hsd1.or.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
<@snark> AntiLuke is AL, right?
<AntiLuke> huh?
<@snark> it made sense in context

#8765 (+19/-0)
<Caffeine> ...got half a cat in my lap
<Ater> Caffeine: wtf are you doing to your cats?!
<Science> Cutting them in half apparently
<Caffeine> Ater: He's shedding

#9622 (+11/-0)
<tomatosalad> relsqui: no, that's not what I mean at all. but it's insane to take the "protect others" stance towards those who can be vaccinated when they have no responsibility to get vaccinated
<relsqui> tomatosalad: .... who said they have less than you do?
<relsqui> tomatosalad: responsibility
<tomatosalad> relsqui: I'm not, but it's insane to try and impose that responsibility on others
<relsqui> tomatosalad: welcome to a goddamn society
<loco> relsqui: I want that on a shirt.
<rcombs> loco: on it

<rcombs> loco: http://rcombs.spreadshirt.com/welcome-to-a-goddamn-society-A13513269/
<rcombs> relsqui: ^

[ rcombs notes that any hypothetical shirt profits will be donated to xkcdb. --Ed. ]

#4324 (+5/-1)
< amoe> DoubleAW, you havent heart randall was hit by a car yesterday hes in a coma
< DoubleAW> amoe: so THAT'S why he's been away so long
< amoe> DoubleAW, hes missing the lower half of his body
< DoubleAW> I thought he was just DOING YOUR MOM
< DoubleAW> oh wow that totally ruined my joke
< DoubleAW> you go sit over there, amoe.
< DoubleAW> I'm getting too old for this

#1015 (+4/-0)
<fatty> windows, but: client, client (updated executable), server or server ( updated executable)
<ColdNeon> client
<Coldcell> client
<ColdNeon> the first one
<Coldcell> the first one
<ColdNeon> wooo
<Coldcell> wooo
<ColdNeon> we're the cold tag team!
<Coldcell> awesome twice!
<ColdNeon> Cold^2
<fatty> crazy talk
<Coldcell> man, if it were possible to create some hideous man-baby over the web, we'd totally call him cold^2

#10183 (+20/-0)
< alexxerth> I'm playing twitch plays undertale
< alexxerth> But I'm the only one doing anything
< alexxerth> I'm just playing undertale with a huge delay

#9284 (+22/-0)
* schwal puts the worlds slowest sandcastle in Bucket.
* ten tips bucket over
* Bucket floods everyone's chat windows with dirty sand.

#6267 (+4/-5)
< mutable_malachi> TehLaser: I've never done anything in the IT field, but my resume is pretty impressive.
< mutable_malachi> TehLaser: for instance, line in resume: "Experience with RDBMSs and other enterprise-grade technology leads to compatibility with and utility in many subdisciplines of IT."
< mutable_malachi> Translation: I played with SQL once.

#885 (+4/-0)
gow: k so marc was in cali with some friends, including a girl he'd know for years, they had spent the day ATVing and such
gow: while he was off dong that, she grabbed his laptop and started talking to me, asking me about girls here and his relationship status, and ended up asking ' what is something i can do in the middle of it to surprise the hell out of him' so i toldr her, ' ask him about mojo, the exchange student he was fucking behind his friends back'
gow: well, abou 4 hours later, marc gets back all ' WHAT THE FUCKING HELL DID YOU TELL AMY?'
gow: ends up, she asked ' where you like this with mojo' and the idiot blueballed himself
gow: so yea, i think he is still waiting for the right time to get back at me for that one

#9732 (+21/-1)
<njsg> Synert: give me an example
<Bucket> Okay, but I'll need four pounds of butter and a motorbike.
* Althir gives Bucket four pounds of butter
* Bucket is now carrying four pounds of butter, but dropped a concretion.
* Althir gives Bucket a motorbike
* Bucket drops a supernova and takes a motorbike.
<Althir> Bucket: Give me an example.
* Bucket removes his pants
<Althir> Wowzer.
<geckzilla> D:

#6968 (+52/-8)
<Eule> I used to live out in the country and we didn't have city gravity
<Eule> We had to use a well... It worked OK most of the time
<Shrdlu> Eule: That's nothing. I used to live out in the woods and there was nobody around to hold a seance when I needed to talk to the dead.
<shoofle> Shrdlu: hey, at least you had yourself. I had an out-of-body experience in the forest once, and when I came back I found my body in a superposition of being crushed and not being crushed because the tree couldn't decide if it fell or not.

#9990 (+27/-0)
<+arble> it does sometimes amaze me that this relatively small island nation basically ruled the world for a century
<+arble> that's the kind of thing you dream of doing in strategy games

#1234 (+7/-0)
<+Catdrake> done and done.
-moderator:#xkcd-signal- Catdrake, you have been muted for 4 minutes 16 seconds.
<+explicitjelly> Catdrake, don't worry. people will remember your last words.
<+mavhc> ah, Catdrake, a good man. In his last days we joked and laughed
<+mavhc> until that fateful moment
<+mavhc> alas, the world has lost a hero
<+mavhc> and now, as we commit his diff to the cvs
<+mavhc> we beg unto you, root user, bring him peace

#7544 (+29/-0)
natjo: what color is fffff?
anaximander: natjo: whit
anaximander: e
davidpk: anaximander: no, he missed off the last f, so whit is accurate

#8030 (+15/-0)
<ellipsis> Velociraptors: I'm not gonna say irregardless again. Got kicked for it last time...
* billygoat sets mode: +b *!ellipsis@*.dip.t-dialin.net
* ellipsis was kicked by billygoat (It's REGARDLESS you cockbiter.)
<Bucket> That was predictable

#9898 (+9/-1)
<logic> bored.
<Palomides> do something
<Palomides> surely you have some desire you might pursue
<Palomides> now is your moment

<Palomides> logic: it's been 15 minutes, what'd you do
<XanT> If they are doing what I usually do when bored then you might want to give them some quiet time ¬.¬

#9853 (+8/-7)
<PlotCitizen> Look I am now fluent in Russian
<PlotCitizen> J'ai un examen en français lundi prochain

#5500 (+28/-7)
* kremlin does a little dace
<kremlin> *dance
<freelancer> No, dace
<kremlin> define it!
<freelancer> You define it, you're the one doing it!
<kremlin> It will be more amusing to have done it then... oh hey
<kremlin> a small European freshwater fish with a slender bluish-green body
<kremlin> typos are wonderful things!
<freelancer> You did a fish?!
<kremlin> Yeah I'm in too good of spirits to even pretend to be disgruntled about that.
<Lisimba> And a little one, even.
<Lisimba> Aquapedobestiality.
<kremlin> Possibly transdimensional.
<Lisimba> transdimensional aquapedobestiality... has a nice ring to it.

#7265 (+35/-2)
< Jeff_UK> partdavid: ok. but the UK update is pretty conclusive... from about 4 cities to the entire country, including rural roads... this will be big when the press pick it up in the morning.
< partdavid> my town's main street is on street view, which might be new, not sure
< partdavid> i thought there'd be more galleries and lists of links for peeping via street view
< julian> Jeff_UK: Hang on, what UK update?
< partdavid> julian - the united kingdom has upgraded. it's now UK 2.0, with 20% more unitedness and 30% more kingdom
< Jeff_UK> UK 2.0 beta
< Jeff_UK> please file bug reports with the grand poombah
< partdavid> they streamlined operations by getting rid of the channel islands and using the extra resources to create a kickass adjunct to the Isle of Man
< JoeBrain> the Isle of Woman?
< Jeff_UK> now it's the Isle of Manly Men
< partdavid> right, from Man to Men, because there are more of them
< Jeff_UK> The isle of dogs is now the isle of mammals
< Jeff_UK> basically, we've moved everything up a level in a relevant hierarchy
< partdavid> they finally put the F in John Of Groats
< Jeff_UK> but due to a clerical error, removed the R
<@snark> Deep Groat
< creamycentre> men who stare at groats?
< partdavid> Next year one lucky Brit will win the "Name a Shire" sweepstakes
< hurristat> And in an unlucky typo, the Shetland Islands are now the Shitland Islands
< partdavid> hurristat - on the other hand, the Orkneys now feature actual Orks
< partdavid> the mull of kintyre is now a bit more erect
< hurristat> They added more h's in Wales (if that's possible), so it's Whales now. in similar news, Sea World is opening a new location!
< partdavid> Whelsh Rabbit, now spelled correctly and containing actual rabbit.
< Jeff_UK> *an actual rabbit
< Jeff_UK> on two pieces of toast
<@snark> man, I liked whelsh rabbit the way it was
< hurristat> Tired of wondering where the first three firths were, they renamed the Solway Firth, the Moray Firth and the Firth of Lorn, the Firth of First, The Firth of Second and The Firth of Third
< InitHello> one firth, two firth, red firth, blue firth
< hurristat> Also, in more spelling corrections, Dumfries is now Dumbfries
< hurristat> And Milton Keynes was finally deleted.

#6874 (+58/-10)
<@khmer> once you go #000000 you never history.go(-1);

#4564 (+22/-5)
<Bucket> Why yes, I am pregnant!
<anika> Well, this is lovely.
<LewyJ> isn't it just.
<semosso> and a little bit creepy
<anika> Hey now, let's all be cordial.
<semosso> anika, I'm sorry, it's just that I can't help it... Bucket pregnant? yikes.
<Pungent_Liquid> Bucket is too young to be pregnant!
<Pungent_Liquid> What is a bot gestation period?
<semosso> Pungent_Liquid, not only that, I don't think she's married
<gameprey> bucket is a he
<gameprey> or an it
<gameprey> definitely not a she
<semosso> gameprey, now the fact that it/he's pregnant becomes even creepier
<anika> flyingferret, are you the father of bucket's baby?
<flyingferret> Of course!
<anika> Oh dear...
<Bucket> oh anika
<semosso> oh god.
<semosso> and the plot thickens..
<Nadando> bucket, what gender are you?
<Bucket> The gender of love
<anika> ferret, is bucket a girl or is bucket a boy?
<flyingferret> is bucket a girl
<anika> oh dear
* Bucket moans in ectasy
<ginji> ferret, are you a girl or boy
<flyingferret> are you a girl
<semosso> okay, I'm staying the hell away from this channel, now.

#4023 (+10/-1)
[aarcane] does my 6-hour countdown time pass when I'm disconnected ?
[Lefty] it is inexorable.
[aarcane] in english?
[zadr] aarcane: yes, it continues to go down

#7369 (+22/-3)
<transkatie> ChatRoulette doesn't work on my computer--flash always crashes after 5 people
<ellipsis> transkatie: that's a feature
<snark> transkatie: chatroulette has too much flashing already
<snark> adobe can add nothing
<Jar`O`Jam> snark, do you want a rimshot with that ?

#4016 (+14/-5)
<Royall|Gunz> Oh shit
<Royall|Gunz> I just put my hand on the wasd keys
<Royall|Gunz> And it started shaking like crazy
<Royall|Gunz> What's that called?
<halberd> it's an ouija keyboard
<halberd> if you let them shake for a while it will spell a message
<halberd> something like ASDFGHSDLFJG from beyond the grave
<natjo> if there can be ouija boards and psychic writing i'm sure there can be psychic typing
<natjo> i'm pretty sure though the ghost will give up when they're told they have to use microsoft word

#2094 (+2/-1)
+pump: OK, NoOneButMe is gone. Get out the hookers and party hats!
%tooly gets the hooker from the trunk and brings shovels for everyone else
+pump: Calm down everybody! There will be enough shovels for everybody!
%tooly starts passing shovels

#7930 (+22/-0)
<anaximander> standard rule of computing: if you don't know what it does, leave it on default
<anaximander> cos you don't know what you'll break by changing it
<stump> I thought it was, "if you don't know what it does, play with it until you figure it out"
<anaximander> stump: not when it's not your network
<stump> That's how I learned sex, at least.
<SirEel> playing with only your own network is for wankers :P

#1565 (+10/-0)
<Glushy> If you say 'psuedo make me a sandwich,' the computer makes you start bleeding peanut butter and strawberry jam

#1327 (+11/-0)
<Monarch> HEY #XKCD! give me some three letter body parts!
<Widdershins> TOE
<klbadger> ACL
<klbadger> PCL
<klbadger> MCL
<klbadger> LCL
<Maximinus> EAR
<Widdershins> EYE
<DementedGamer> WAT
<natjo1986> BTW people if you like The Raconteurs their new album is really good
<Widdershins> ...that's not a body part
<creamycenter> ass
<Widdershins> tit
<Widdershins> ...
<creamycenter> nad
<Widdershins> ok stop
<Maximinus> nut
<klbadger> vag?
<Widdershins> that's VAC
<Monarch> hurry!
<Monarch> more
<Widdershins> DLS
<Widdershins> DNS
<Widdershins> DSL
<Widdershins> IRC
<Monarch> real ones!
<klbadger> LSD
<Widdershins> QED
<Monarch> http://members.cox.net/beagenius/bodyparttq.html
<Widdershins> noz
<creamycenter> HUD
<Widdershins> nee
<creamycenter> VNC
<Widdershins> VLC
<natjo1986> DNS
<Widdershins> MPC
<Glench> whoa
<creamycenter> AVS
<Widdershins> LOL
<creamycenter> ABC
<Tiara> STD
<klbadger> DNC
<klbadger> RNC
<klbadger> NBC
<klbadger> CBC
<klbadger> DVD
Monarch MonarchLulz
<wsa> PDM
<creamycenter> HBO
<Tiara> AFK
<creamycenter> NBC
<wsa> SQL
<klbadger> CRS
<Monarch> Widdershins, WHY!?
<Glench> NOM
<Glench> ORE
<creamycenter> A.F.I
<Widdershins> i am laughing so hard right now
<natjo1986> WMP
<Tiara> creamycenter is out! NBC was already said!
<klbadger> LHC
<Widdershins> TNT
<Glench> can we please stop?

#1107 (+412/-43)
<deadfool> if my kids first words were hello world that would rock

#8139 (+35/-2)
< genewitch> 5 ounces of pure alcohol will FUCK ANY HUMAN BEING UP.
< genewitch> and not like a little bit
< genewitch> like oh teehee i drunk dialed
< genewitch> no like FUCK YOU PIG I AM DRIVING TO MEXICOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
< genewitch> and you're in a shopping cart

#301 (+5/-2)
<Uhmerwell> lying with a phallus?
<Coldcell> I do that professionaly

#1542 (+0/-2)
khmer: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/29/science/29brain.html?partner=rssnyt'emc=rss
khmer: OH SHIT OH SHIT
khmer: OH SHIT
Bucket: Divide by zero
khmer: OH SHIT OH SHITOHSHIT OHSHTI HSIOT
khmer: OHSTI
khmer: SHIT SHIT SHIT
khmer: FUCK
khmer: OH...OH...
nazgjunk: khmer: SHIT INDEED
khmer: OH *NO*
chrisinajar: someone ctrl+c khmer
chrisinajar: i think something went wrong
airtank: oh
airtank: shit
MihaiG: gline him!
bearachute: wut
bearachute: nooooo
chrisinajar: kill -9 khmer
Topic changed to 'SHIT OH SHIT http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/29/science/29brain.html | Anyone in here a scientist? | geekahedron has manorexia! | Monarch changes topic to OKAY! *crash* | buy OniCal

#5740 (+0/-20)
<Pungent_Liquid> I wish I had the pair that this guy has

#817 (+39/-9)
<_LSK_> Abraham Lincoln, we only have one weapon left! FIRE THE JAMES BYOO-CANNON!
<_LSK_> BYOO BYOO BYOO BYOO BYOO

#5051 (+1/-1)
<julian> creamycenter: Abstinence-only sex education is a fantastic example of what happens when we build law around debate #1, rather than debate #2. Even if we all agree that people shouldn't have sex until they're married, in the real world, it's crystal clear that not only does it not achieve it's primary objective, but that because it lacks education about condoms, the pill etc., it increases unwanted pregnancies, and therefore, abortions too.
<Bucket> creamycenter: Abstinence-only sex education is a fantastic sexample of what happens when we build law around debate #1, rather than debate #2. Even if we all agree that people shouldn't have sex until they're married, in the real world, it's crystal clear that not only does it not achieve it's primary objective, but that because it lacks education about condoms, the pill etc., it increases unwanted pregnancies, and therefore, abortions too.
<julian> Bucket: shut up

#8458 (+6/-5)
16:06 -!- syntax_m [ansaksie@hide-F7328C9E.ga.at.cox.net] has joined #xkcd
16:07 < Joker> syntax_m: error
16:07 -!- syntax_m [ansaksie@hide-F7328C9E.ga.at.cox.net] has quit [Quit: GODDAMMIT >:(]

#4885 (+2/-8)
< Bucket> {Nathan}, I think the right to artistic sexpression through child porn is an important right too

#2594 (+38/-10)
Frowardd: whenever someone says "oh canada" I imagine that they're actually moaning in ectasy as canada performs oral sex on them