#9898 ⇧ (+9/-1) ⇩
<Palomides> do something
<Palomides> surely you have some desire you might pursue
<Palomides> now is your moment
<Palomides> logic: it's been 15 minutes, what'd you do
<XanT> If they are doing what I usually do when bored then you might want to give them some quiet time ¬.¬
#7635 ⇧ (+53/-1) ⇩
<Jax184> peanut butter!
<Bucket> peanut butter is eventually, inevitably, infested with peanut butter weasels
<Bucket> weasels are effectively neutralised by stomach acid
#10302 ⇧ (+14/-2) ⇩
* Jax184 gives Bucket an item so large that it's hard to imagine how it could possibly be contained within a Bucket, like, seriously
* Bucket is now carrying an item so large that it's hard to imagine how it could possibly be contained within a Bucket, like, seriously, but dropped a couple cubic meters of packing peanuts.
#6570 ⇧ (+17/-4) ⇩
< Dekoa> Is it possible to get serious advice in here?
< antonfire> Depends on the time of day.
< Antipathy> Dekoa: yes, but most of it comes from bucket
<@relsqui> Dekoa: it's possible, it's not easy
< swampy> Dekoa: Sure. What's up?
< Dekoa> No i was just wondering
#6895 ⇧ (+19/-5) ⇩
<Anaerin> The first rule of Anime Club is: You do not talk about Anime Club.
<Anaerin> The second rule of Anime Club is: You *DO NOT* TALK about Anime Club!
<Anaerin> Third Rule: If someone says stop, goes limp, kawaii's out, the Anime is over.
<Anaerin> Fourth rule: Two guys to a slash.
<Anaerin> Fifth rule: One hentai at a time, guys.
<Anaerin> Sixth rule: No pants, no shorts.
<Anaerin> Seventh rule: Series will go on as long as they have to.
<Anaerin> And the Eighth and final rule of Anime Club: If this is your first night at Anime Club, you have to fap.
#9294 ⇧ (+21/-0) ⇩
<LolCam> I'M NO ONE'S BRO
<schwal> LolCam: Right, sis.
<LolCam> schwal: I ain't yo' sis
<LolCam> FUCK OFFFFFF
<LolCam> I dunno
<LolCam> I'm so frickin' tired and bored in this class.
<schwal> LolCam: No, my sis is in class, and better not be on IRC.
#6837 ⇧ (+36/-8) ⇩
< XanT> Oh and everyone, proclivities is the word of the day. I hope you will find good uses for it.
< killings> you and your sordid proclivities
< killings> YOU DISGUST ME
< Tohuw> XanT: I'd like to Proclivities HER?!
* Oriza proclivited your mom last night
< Oriza> Does that torture involve proclivating one's face?
< Oriza> protip: I've no idea how to conjugate 'proclivities'
< FunkyTuba> protip: any noun can be verbed, but some nouns verb betterly than others
#105 ⇧ (+24/-5) ⇩
< Cctoide> It's amazing how, more than ten years after IRC became widespread
< Cctoide> WE STILL LACK A DECENT CLIENT TO CLIENT FILE TRANSFER PROTOCOL
< root> Cctoide: Dude. What are you talking about
< root> we have kermit!
< root> kermit rocks!
< Cctoide> I meant DCC.
< root> Screw DCC! Use kermit!
< khmer> it's not easy being #00FF00
#283 ⇧ (+108/-18) ⇩
<warriorness> life is so tough
<warriorness> I think I'll write some poetry
<warriorness> cut myself a bit
<warriorness> blast linkin park
<yy2bggggs> How do you do it man?
<warriorness> dye my hair black and comb it over my eye
<Bucket> dye my hair black and comb it over my thigh
<warriorness> strangely ominous
<xkcd> 1,000,000 botsnacks
<Bucket> :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
<warriorness> Bucket: dow you EVER shave down there? Dude.
<Bucket> warriorness: excuse me?
<warriorness> You head me!
<warriorness> oh god
#6724 ⇧ (+15/-0) ⇩
<+cephalopod9> ...all I did today was laundry... scraped my thumb loading the washer.
<+cephalopod9> fortunately I have yet to turn into a washing machine monster...
<+Krunch> cephalopod9: no worries, incubation time is 48 hours
<+cephalopod9> hmm... I will apply more disinfectant.
#5489 ⇧ (+41/-11) ⇩
< diogenes> http://www.amazon.com/Top-Selling-Male-Masturbator-Kit/dp/B001V9R8EA/ .... customers who bought this item also bought ... world of warcraft: wrath of the lich king expansion pack!
#8908 ⇧ (+53/-1) ⇩
<Stereo> why does reddit make up things like "map porn" when pornography is a perfectly good porno- prefix on an ending that can be substituted greekily
<Stereo> pornocartography etc.
<Stereo> that's putting the cart before the whores...
#10254 ⇧ (+27/-3) ⇩
< seven> I've played at LANs where I've had so much fun getting in the heads of the opponents. One LAN, it was a national rematch in Team Fortress. Our team hadn't played together for a while. The people we beat in the national comp the year before were highly practiced. We'd all travelled to this LAN comp to face off in a rematch. And, a few minutes in to the game, we were spanking them again. In
< seven> particular, I was playing as defensive sniper and picking them apart like the first time. As I killed them, I heard swearing each time. So I stayed in my spot once they started to avoid me
< seven> got up out of my chair, walked over to where their team was, watched their players, found the guys playing attack.
< seven> And said "hey I know where that dickhead sniper is"
< seven> and guided him to kill me.
< seven> then congratulated him and introduced myself.
< seven> that kind of, broke that guys spirit, I went back to shooting him in the head
< seven> and he dropped, he didn't just stop playing. He packed up his machine. And he left.
< seven> then we won. thanks to numbers :P
#4066 ⇧ (+9/-0) ⇩
20:47 [Foonetic] -Global(email@example.com)- This netsplit brought to you by Time Warner Telecom and Cogent Communications.
20:54 [Foonetic] -Global(firstname.lastname@example.org)- This netsplit brought to you by Time Warner Telecom. Time Warner Telecom: Dropping your packets since earlier this evening.
#6633 ⇧ (+6/-1) ⇩
<saethan> I should edit, will any mod kill me if I say what the end of Sword of Truth is?
<@snark> no mod will kick you for that
<Spork> Snarky snark.
<@snark> I promise.
<Spork> Don't believe snark. He will kick you.
<ataraxia> snark is just going to kick you regardless.
<@snark> Spork: I swear on whatever you want that what I just said was true
* Spork looks at snark.
<@snark> Damn it, come on.
<Spork> snark: :P
<@snark> you guys suck.
<@Stereo> he's not a mod! don't be tricked
<Spork> The TRICKSTER!
<saethan> ok, well, I know it ends with Richard splitting the worlds between magic and non magic
* saethan was kicked by snark (But I'm not a mod.)
<@snark> Fuck you all.
#5311 ⇧ (+143/-19) ⇩
< bloopletech> So, when I was 10, we got a duckling
< bloopletech> it was the coolest thing ever
< bloopletech> all the time I was home I hung around with it
< bloopletech> It slept in my bed sometimes too
< bloopletech> So, one day I was in the bath
< bloopletech> and we decided to give the duckling a bath at the same time
< bloopletech> And, it saw a big fat juicy worm
< bloopletech> And bit me on the penis
< bloopletech> I was not amused
< bloopletech> We called the local doctor and went in
< bloopletech> Can you even IMAGINE explaining that to a doctor
< bloopletech> He could barely stop himself from laughing
< bloopletech> He said I'd be fine
< bloopletech> So *technically*, I have engaged in oral ... relations ... with a duck
#5532 ⇧ (+174/-23) ⇩
<Zhorken> oh man <33
<Zhorken> my mom's office chair is right between two tables and my cat is on it, pawing at whichever table happens to be in front of the chair at the moment to spin himself around
<Zhorken> my cat is playing with a swivelly chair
<Zhorken> I have the best cat ever
#7908 ⇧ (+30/-2) ⇩
<Ruhe>: My nephew's science project scares me.
<Seth>: Ruhe: oh?
<Boyle>: Ruhe: coil gun?
<Boyle>: Ruhe: The effects of chlorophorm on uncles?
<Boyle>: that is so mispelled
<Ruhe>: Yeah, he's only 9, so his hypothesis was if all cab drivers hang things from their rear view mirrors or not.
<Seth>: Ruhe: cool
<Ruhe>: So he whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the liscense plate said fresh, and it had dice in the mirror.
* Ruhe ducks
<Seth>: you get a medal