Hi! Just so you know, you can click on the $ up there to support XKCDB. (This box will go away after you vote once.)

#10229 (+14/-0)
< Bucket> Sony uses the xkcd method of random number generation.
< sammi> int getRandomNumber() { return 4; } lololol
< djh> chosen by fair dive roll
< djh> dice*
< taixzo> I like "fair dive roll" better
< taixzo> it calls to mind a team of gymnasts hired to produce random numbers from judges' scores

#889 (+18/-7)
< Coldcell> I don't usually buy many presents, and my family's in england so...
< Coldcell> I bought presents for my nephews who are two boys.
< Coldcell> and ended up that I bought 2 race cars, and 2 'utility' trucks.
< Coldcell> you know, like a cement mixer and a trash truck
< Coldcell> big things
< Coldcell> well, it occured to me instead of splitting them, just to give one kid the race cars, and the other the trash trucks.
< Coldcell> cuz my family are the amiable sort, I bagged one of them with sports cars and a card and shiny paper and what not
< Coldcell> and in the card it said 'P.S. you're my favourite'
< Coldcell> and the other I wrapped plainly and put no name in it
< Coldcell> now that I'm retelling it, it's not so much funny as I thought while doing it, but very cruel..
< Coldcell> oh well
<@relsqui> you're a bad man
< Coldcell> it's khmer's fault

#7745 (+26/-1)
<diogenes> http://pics.kuvaton.com/kuvei/in_case_of_emergency.jpg
<bbqq> Is that in japan?
<Rena> would explain the Japanese
* Rena doesn't know of any other country that uses Hiragana
<nazgjunk> Rena: not everyone has even the slightest clue how to distinguish between Chinese and Japanese >.>
<ellipsis> nazgjunk: Kanji looks crazy complicated, lots of lines. Hiragana has fewer curvy lines, and Katakana almost makes sense to look at
<Rena> yeah basically, if it looks like utter hell to write, it's Kanji (Chinese, but also used in Japanese). If it looks simple and has mostly curves, it's probably Hiragana (Japanese). If it looks simple and has mostly straight lines, it's Katakana (Japanese). If it looks like something you might see used as an "alien language" in a movie, it's Hangul (Korean).
<Rena> (not to offend the Koreans; it's actually a pretty cool writing system)
<chrisbrl88> klingon is easier to read than korean
<ellipsis> chrisbrl88: romanized klingon or the actual characters?
<chrisbrl88> ellipsis: the actual characters
<Rena> if it uses English characters, but writing it makes you want to go jump on a sword, it's C++. :-p
<Velociraptors> If it uses English characters but is still undecipherable, it's perl.
<chrisbrl88> if admiral akbar walked into a sushi bar, it really WOULD be a trap.

#4384 (+23/-5)
<Geekthras> they're all "let's have a 20 minute write as much as you can session"
<Geekthras> and I have 418 words
<Geekthras> and they have like 700-900
<IgnisInCaelum> Aaaahh 20 minutes ?!?!
<IgnisInCaelum> I'd have like 15
<Nikc> I would have 0 words
<Nikc> No more, no less
<IgnisInCaelum> Nikc: You'd have less!
<Royall> I would have -1 words
<Royall> Like, I'd cross out where it says "name" on the top

#4612 (+11/-1)
* Nikc is an orgasm technician
Jeffrey: Nikc: Orgasm technician makes me think of some guy in overalls coming into the bedroom with grease on his hands and telling you to roll over, "it'll only take a minute"

#7031 (+20/-5)
<@snark> you know what I would name my firstborn?
<@snark> Thrombosis Gruntlock IV
< Diet-Drew> snark: that's a good girls name, but what if it's a boy?

#4827 (+18/-5)
< Antipaganda> I think it's more worrying that "google rapes elves and burns them in space smelters" has no hits.
< Antipaganda> I smell coverup.

#661 (+6/-0)
<maLLee> I'm just like, 'Are they big testes?'
<maLLee> 'Yeah, they're my middle of the term testes'
<maLLee> 'How much are your testes worth?'

#8197 (+5/-4)
<textOnly> last time I took a high-altitude flight I went back in time
<textOnly> flew from Sydney to LAX and arrived an hour before I left
<Ranzear> textOnly: last time I took a high-altitude flight I ended up watching the world get devoured by badly rendered toothy blobs.
<Ranzear> If anyone gets that: ha~HA!
<textOnly> dude, on that flight the movie list included that movie about Amelia Eirhardt (sp) and The Hurt Locker
<textOnly> respectively about an airplane crashing, and bombs
<textOnly> I'm honestly surprised they didn't just not carry those films
<Ranzear> Of course
<Bucket> OFF COURSE!!
<Ranzear> Yes, she was

#379 (+22/-7)
khmer: Coldcell i have the stairway solo down just about as well as the english alphabet
khmer: y'all ready
procto: we arez readdddyyyy
khmer: okay intro chords
khmer: dadadahhhh
khmer: dadadahhhh
khmer: dadadahhh dahhh dahhh dahhhdoong dahh dah dah dahhh
khmer: donnng dahh dah dah dahhh
khmer: DEOOOWWWW
khmer: DANANANANANANDAHADOODOODOWWWWW
khmer: BAA DABADA HDEEEEEAH DAAAH DOBOWWW DAA BADOOBOWWOOOOWOOWWW
khmer: BAADADADADADADOODOWDOWDOOBEEDEE DOWWW DOBEEDOW DOWW DOOBEDOBEEDAADAADEEOW
khmer: DOBADADADOODOWW
khmer: DADADADADOODEEE
khmer: DEEEEEEBADADOOBEE DOO
khmer: DOO DAABIDDYDOWW DOO DAABIDDYDOWW DOO DAABIDDYDOWW DOO DAABIDDYDOWW DOO DAABIDDYDOWW DOO DAABIDDYDOWW DOO DAABIDDYDOWW DOO DAABIDDYDOWW
khmer: DOO DAABIDDYDOWW DOO DAABIDDYDOWW DOO DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
khmer: BADADADOOBADADEEDOODAFREEDADOOWEEOWWW
khmer: BA DEE DEE DEEEEEEBADOODIDDLE DOOBA DOWWWOWWOWWOWW
khmer: (waaoooooo waaaaaooooh)
khmer: BAA DEE DEE DOWWWW WAAADIDDLEDOO WAA BAAH DODO DOO DOWWW
khmer: (waaoooooo waaaaaooooh)
khmer: WEEEEEEE WAH DA DOO DAHH DAHHHHHHHH
khmer: (waaoooooo waaaaaooooh)
khmer: WAAAAHUBADAABADDIIDDEEDAADOOWADAWOODAWOWWW
khmer: (waaoooooo waaaaaooooh)
khmer: DABADOODABADOODABADOODABADOODABADOODABADOODABADOODABADOODABADOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
khmer: AND AS WE WIND ON DOWN THE ROAD
khmer: OUR SHADOWS TALLER THAN OUR SOULS
khmer: THERE WALKS A LADY WE ALL KNOWW-OOH-OWWW
khmer: WHO SHINES WHITE LIGHT AND WANTS TO SHOW
khmer: HOW EV-E-RY-THING STILL TURNS TO GOLD
khmer: AND IF YOU LISTEN VERY HARD
khmer: THE TRUTH WILL COME TO YOU AT LAST
khmer: WHEN ALL ARE ONE AND ONE IS AAAALLL, YEAH
khmer: TO BE A ROCK AND NOT TO ROOOOOOOOOOL
khmer: DOO BAAA DA DA DOOOOO
khmer: WAAH WAAAAAAH WAAH WAAH WAAAAAAAAH
khmer: NAAAAAAAANAAAAAAA NAAAAAANAAAA
khmer: NAAA NAAA WEEE NAA DODOO NAAA NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
khmer: AND
khmer: SHE'S
khmer: BAHHH
khmer: YAAAH
khmer: ING
khmer: A
khmer: STAAA
khmer: AAAAIR
khmer: WAY
khmer: TO
*** khmer has left #xkcd. [chokes on vomit]
*** khmer has joined #xkcd
khmer: whew ok
Coldcell: *thunderous applause*
khmer: THANK YOU LEEDS
khmer: (misty mountain hop begins)

#722 (+5/-1)
<BoVinE> a bear?
<Bucket> a bear is up. forty feet. in a tree.
<BoVinE> holy shit.
<Bucket> holy shit is that article in the topic for real?
<BoVinE> I love you.
<Bucket> I love you too

#4003 (+14/-4)
< Frowardd> we're no strangers to leavening
< Frowardd> you know the compositional ingredients of bread, and so do I
< ign0ramus> Frowardd: how do you make your bread? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMBXJ9I3pJM
< Frowardd> for bread, I grind the bones of englishmen
< Frowardd> for water, the tears of serpents
< darnin> Yeast?
< Frowardd> for leavening, the souls of the damned
< darnin> What about for butter?
< Frowardd> butter is the coagulated sperm of the master race
<@relsqui> ign0ramus: basically he uses the recipe on the back of the box
< ign0ramus> gotcha ;)
< Frowardd> I roam the halls of the damn and feed abandoned skeletons
< Frowardd> they get so lonely sometimes
< Frowardd> they're so cold, but no matter how many sweaters they wear, nothing helps

#7523 (+21/-2)
<paratus> I'm sick of family members I don't know and have never talked to adding me one facebook.
<paratus> This guys last name is Gondor.
<paratus> He didn't think it was funny when I asked him who his king was.

#5296 (+3/-2)
<bess> hey, guys, how's it going ?
-moderator/#xkcd-signal- bess, you have been muted for 16 seconds.
* moderator removes voice from bess
* moderator gives voice to bess
<bess> awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwws!!!!11!!!!!!!!
<bess> z
-moderator/#xkcd-signal- bess, you have been muted for 1 minute 4 seconds.
* moderator removes voice from bess
* bess (4ca6e478@hide-54C2325B.mibbit.com) has left #xkcd-signal

#343 (+9/-0)
<DoubleAW> NO DARK SARCASM, IN THE CHATROOMS

#5244 (+17/-5)
<mutable_malachi> snark: why was karma removed?
<@snark> mutable_malachi: it got spammy
<@snark> people would be all ++ this and karma that
<@snark> and bucket would be all "whore has neutral karma"
<@snark> and we would then get jealous of whore, or at least those of us with negative karma did
<@snark> one day, whore was found floating in the river with her arms chopped off
<@snark> nobody wanted to point fingers, but we all knew who was really to blame
<@snark> pretty soon after, karma was quietly removed, and never heard of again.

#779 (+6/-0)
<postmodern> I was going to smack you so hard your facebook picture would get a black eye, Cai

#5452 (+19/-5)
<@snark> ferret: potatoes or... Hm. No, I guess potatoes is really my only option.
<flyingferret> You seem to have already made up your mind.
<@snark> So I have.
* @snark goes off to cook up some potatoes.

#5584 (+7/-1)
<Selig> blowjob: interesting name
<blowjob> yes, it turns a few "heads"

#6831 (+22/-6)
< marc> have you fellas seen this bumper sticker? http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/12/2009/11/500x_blue_shift_bumper_sticker.jpg
< XanT> hehe
< XanT> <3 physics humour.
< hooloo> I hate physics humor because you like it.
< XanT> Well now I must hate physics humor because I hate humor that you hate because I like it.

[ See also: http://www.cafepress.com/housetilde.68052639 --Ed. ]

#251 (+17/-3)
<%khmer> pv2b: smegmentation was only a problem with the early x86 'uncut' southbridge
< pv2b> khmer: huh huh you said 'problem' :-)
< Stereo> wait
< Stereo> x86 is like 3 testicles
< Stereo> what's wrong with you
<%khmer> there's nothing wrong with a trinary testicle system
<%khmer> i refer you to page 133 of wolfram
<%khmer> three testicles make my sack turing-complete

#707 (+31/-10)
<Tracker> I'm drinking a Shiner Bock with a garlic-stuffed olive in it
<ArshrAAm> never heard of it
<n0stalgia> Tracker, that's almost as impressive as what I'm chugging. Straight. Fucking. Dasani.
<n0stalgia> Can you say hardcore?
<Tracker> Man
<Tracker> You're gonna be WASTED
<ArshrAAm> Dasani? hardcore? :p
<n0stalgia> This is like my fifth one, man. TONIGHT.
<WatchYour6> I'm drinkin' TAP
<n0stalgia> And I gotta be up at .....ARE YOU SERIOUS??
<n0stalgia> Are you crazy?!
<WatchYour6> Yeah man! Straight from the FAuCET
<n0stalgia> omfg?! Faucet stand!?
<Charion> hmm... you do know that dasani has a higher concentration of mercury than normal tap right?
<n0stalgia> Hell yes, and the added carcinogens due to it's plastic prison are what's making me trip like mad right now, cousin!
<Casius> you'll be mad as a hatter!
<ArshrAAm> awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww foshizzle
<Tracker> I like taking shots of Perrier
* n0stalgia 's jaw drops
<ArshrAAm> I'm doing brita unfiltered :p
<WatchYour6> I'm drinking URINE FROM MY OWN COCK
<n0stalgia> You fucking poser. Brita is filtered by default.
<n0stalgia> Alright, last call on the urine cock drinking.
<n0stalgia> You, sir, have crossed a line.
<WatchYour6> I'LL TELL YOU WhEN i'VE HAT ENUF

#7227 (+39/-2)
<@relsqui> hey, whatdo you guys call #3cafdb?
< sheepbat> light blue, relsqui
< sheepbat> light bluish-gray
< FunkyTuba> I call it "a bad channel name"

#9622 (+11/-0)
<tomatosalad> relsqui: no, that's not what I mean at all. but it's insane to take the "protect others" stance towards those who can be vaccinated when they have no responsibility to get vaccinated
<relsqui> tomatosalad: .... who said they have less than you do?
<relsqui> tomatosalad: responsibility
<tomatosalad> relsqui: I'm not, but it's insane to try and impose that responsibility on others
<relsqui> tomatosalad: welcome to a goddamn society
<loco> relsqui: I want that on a shirt.
<rcombs> loco: on it

<rcombs> loco: http://rcombs.spreadshirt.com/welcome-to-a-goddamn-society-A13513269/
<rcombs> relsqui: ^

[ rcombs notes that any hypothetical shirt profits will be donated to xkcdb. --Ed. ]

#8161 (+48/-0)
* Bucket (bucket@irc.peeron.com) Quit (Killed (OperServ (Session limit exceeded)))
* ChanServ sets mode: -r
<Ahrotahntee> Session limit exceeded.
<Ahrotahntee> facinating
<hexium> OperServ?
<hexium> wtf is operserv?
<Parabox> Operator Service.
<hexium> yeah, but what does it mean?
<Ahrotahntee> hexium: think of Chanserv, but the part of the network that is in charge of kicking your ass repeatedly
<Ahrotahntee> repeatedly
<@snark> did someone say "in charge of kicking your ass repeatedly"?
<@snark> I thought I got highlit
<Ahrotahntee> oh yes, also snark
<Ahrotahntee> Operserv and Snark are redundant backups of eachother
<InTheBlue> is foonetic shitting bricks at the moment?
* ChanServ changes topic to 'http://helpnathanbuyfirefly.com/ | <logic>: We should all meet up for an #xkcd snuggle | Honey badger don't give a shit http://du.cx/5X | See if you can beat my high score. http://kafkaskoffee.com/junk/Platform.html | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2uIyrTOQDA | Shit just got realer http://revolution2.moon'
* ChanServ sets mode: +r
<Parabox> Le what.
<Anon-Fox> what the fuck
<Xeio> what the...?
<@snark> ChanServ: Stop fucking about. Seriously.
* Bucket (bucket@irc.peeron.com) has joined #xkcd
<darthFerret> Bucket!
* darthFerret hugs Bucket
<@snark> Damn right you'd better bring Bucket back. And don't you mess with us again.
<Paracetamol> Yay
<@snark> if those services give you any crap again, let me know
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<@snark> FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
<logic> OUCH
<@snark> SHIT JUST GOT REAL
<Darkone> Hahahaha
<@snark> they totally called my bluff :(

#797 (+7/-0)
<Fredd[pogrom]> 'Well, now that one of those google boys is married, I say it's only a matter of time until there are some googlebots running around.'
<jercos> imagine a beowulf cluster of those
<jeke> but does it run linux?

#818 (+5/-0)
Shimmy: Dear maLLee,
Shimmy: your rejection hurts me deeply. The food I was about to present you as a offering now tastes bitter and salty because of all the tears that dropped into it. Tastes all dark and groomy because of all the broken love that went into it.
Shimmy: Oh, the pain.
Shimmy: - shimmy..
maLLee: Dear Shimmy,
maLLee: Cheer up, emo kid.
maLLee: Cheers, maLLee

#9056 (+8/-3)
<Randall> I just need a giant "BZZZZT! WRONG." buzzer that I can put in this channel to respond to basically everything anyone says to me for the next hour, then leave

#6895 (+19/-5)
<Anaerin> The first rule of Anime Club is: You do not talk about Anime Club.
<Anaerin> The second rule of Anime Club is: You *DO NOT* TALK about Anime Club!
<Anaerin> Third Rule: If someone says stop, goes limp, kawaii's out, the Anime is over.
<Anaerin> Fourth rule: Two guys to a slash.
<Anaerin> Fifth rule: One hentai at a time, guys.
<Anaerin> Sixth rule: No pants, no shorts.
<Anaerin> Seventh rule: Series will go on as long as they have to.
<Anaerin> And the Eighth and final rule of Anime Club: If this is your first night at Anime Club, you have to fap.

#1662 (+17/-5)
<Rickye> Well, the logic is good. Sex with virgins cures most things, doesn't it?
<Monarch> It definitely cures Virginity.
<Monarch> The most despicable of all sexual diseases...

#7328 (+57/-9)
<@Lhyzz> THIS IS THE ONLY TIME THIS WILL EVER WORK SO I HAVE TO DO IT:
<@Lhyzz> Randall, go away.
< Randall> Okay Lhyzz. I'll be back later
<@Lhyzz> \o/
<@relsqui> LIKEWISE
<@relsqui> Randall: come back
< Randall> \o/

[ April Fool's Day 2010; Randall was actually Bucket. --Ed. ]

#6877 (+5/-2)
<Mafi> Site blocked. dynamic.xkcd.com is not allowed on this network.
<Mafi> This site was categorized as: Humor

#6074 (+50/-9)
coreycubed: so I know this couple irl in a long distance relationship (they don't come in here) who stay up until midnight MWF to read xkcd together and think that khmer is some sort of man-god from his xkcdb exploits
coreycubed: I wonder what this is going to do for their eventual marriage?
relsqui: you should get them in here to learn the terrible truth
lingrush_: Khmer is a man god?
khmer: oh, this is a mistranslation
khmer: from the time that i got pelted with mangoes for telling a fart joke
khmer: i was mango'd
khmer: easy mistake to make

#10004 (+8/-7)
<Caffeine> So. First time driving on my own. Still shaky.
<Euclidian> Caffeine: decaf next time
<Caffeine> Euclidian: blasphemu
<Caffeine> s/u/y/
<Vulpes> Would a blasphemu be a emu that blasphemes?
<vibhavp> an emu that advocates decaf, alternatively

#7975 (+16/-3)
-!- Topic for #xkcd: The same people behind the Creation Museum are now building a Noah's Ark Theme Park.
<Random832> at topic: someone should ask them why, if elephants and hippopotami could fit, why none of the smaller dinosaurs were on the ark
<roverbat> the hippopotami sat on them

#6268 (+15/-6)
< xui> I <3 xkcdirc. Nowhere else can you find so much mental handicap and superiority in the same place
-!- xui was kicked from #xkcd by snark [and powercraziness. Is that a word?]
-!- xui [xui@hide-1BF41396.woh.res.rr.com] has joined #xkcd
< xui> it is now
<@snark> \o/

#431 (+8/-0)
<malt> Bucket: are you well endowed?
<Bucket> only the users may know, malt
<%relsqui> those dirty users

#2065 (+24/-6)
<relsqui> my cat just lay down with her chin on my wrist. that's very very fuzzy.
* nova20 applauds relsqui for her perfect conjugation of the verb "to lie"
* nova20 gives relsqui a commondation on behalf of the Chief of the Grammar Police

<relsqui> and I just noticed you misspelled "commendation," which is hilarious only because of the context.
<nova20> well, it's the Grammar police, not the spelling polise.
<nova20> oh man
* nova20 facepalms
<nova20> that's "police"

#5463 (+16/-0)
* wsa (wsa@hide-97C45A62.hsd1.mn.comcast.net) Quit (colobus.foonetic.net daemonic.foonetic.net)
* abductee_nsfw (abductee@hide-6A0C900.mgmt.reich-full-service.de) Quit (colobus.foonetic.net daemonic.foonetic.net)
* Whtiger (josh@hide-973EA4A0.hsd1.mi.comcast.net) Quit (colobus.foonetic.net daemonic.foonetic.net)
* shepheb (root@hide-C665CD49.dsl.bell.ca) Quit (colobus.foonetic.net daemonic.foonetic.net)
* jeek (jeek@hide-45E1E7DC.sloth.org) Quit (colobus.foonetic.net daemonic.foonetic.net)
* robg (robg@hide-8ACFF8D) Quit (colobus.foonetic.net daemonic.foonetic.net)
<Sarcastic> boom!
<fantasyprone> WOO NETSPLIT WOO
* fantasyprone does the netsplit dance
<netcrusher88> tiny netsplit
<Typoman> yay minisplit
* wsa (wsa@hide-97C45A62.hsd1.mn.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
* abductee_nsfw (abductee@hide-6A0C900.mgmt.reich-full-service.de) has joined #xkcd
* Whtiger (josh@hide-973EA4A0.hsd1.mi.comcast.net) has joined #xkcd
* shepheb (root@hide-C665CD49.dsl.bell.ca) has joined #xkcd
* jeek (jeek@hide-45E1E7DC.sloth.org) has joined #xkcd
* robg (robg@hide-8ACFF8D) has joined #xkcd
<@snark> wow... yeah, that actually was a netsplit. I think that's the smallest netsplit I've ever seen.
<@snark> It was kind of cute.

#7612 (+37/-2)
<snark> on the plus side, you get to see a grown man punch a goldfish in the face
<LolCam> snark: KOI .
<Random832> LolCam: koi, carp, goldfish, same difference
<LolCam> snark: it's a koi. Which is technically a humongous goldfish
<snark> no need to be koi
<snark> don't carp on about it
<LolCam> snark: but I thought you liked it when I'm koi with you
<snark> LolCam: I always think there's something fishy about it
<LolCam> snark: what? It's not like I'm poissonous or anything
<Seth> Is that even a fish?
<LolCam> Seth: poisson is french for fish
<snark> throwing in some other language just for the halibut
<snark> you must be running trout of ideas
<snark> but maybe you can still salmon up some more
<Seth> Okay, the halibut one was actually good
<snark> I'm zero!
<snark> wait, no
<Bucket> why not?
<snark> I'm less than zero!
<LolCam> snark: just because my puns are more eelusive to some doesn't mean I'm terrible
<snark> Bucket: because poisson distributions... never mind
<LolCam> snark: you just gotta work the right angle
<Random832> these jokes are all getting kind of hoki
<snark> LolCam: so you've got some moray?
<LolCam> snark: of course. Coelecanth catch up to me
<LolCam> snark: my skills are anything but minnowmal
<LolCam> snark: unless you're tired of herring about them
<snark> whelk, whelk, you're flexing your mussels I see.
<snark> I'd have to mullet over before I could respond to that.
<LolCam> snark: all the better to roughy you up with
<ftw> snark: your brevity is the sole of wit
<snark> char, sure, whatever.
<LolCam> ftw: he likes to hammerhead in to make sure you know
<snark> sometimes my wit is my own worst anemone :(
<ftw> ok, you win one internt
<snark> I FOUND COD, I'M A PRAWN AGAIN CHRISTIAN
<LolCam> snark: don't worry, we can tuna you out if need be
<LolCam> snark: jesus, I leave for 5 minutes and I find these people molly cod-dling you for your terrible jokes

#6708 (+26/-6)
< nameless> relsqui: snark: Help me be a bigger douche!
<@snark> nameless: I'm afraid I can't give out ops

#593 (+11/-0)
UbuntuAW: shoofle is in love
icemouse: Who is she
Bucket: i understand she was dead

#5260 (+10/-0)
<creamycenter> so people who complain that Vista uses too much memory are wrong. XP doesn't use enough.

#8034 (+4/-2)
<Adams42> i'd give up a testicle to be able to fly
* asarkar gives Adams42 a Cessna

#7518 (+16/-7)
< IAWTP> What does a bassist use as contraception?
< IAWTP> HIS PERSONALITY

#9766 (+11/-4)
* ryaxnb (~ryaxnb@hide-7DA258CA.lightspeed.sntcca.sbcglobal.net) has joined #xkcd
<ryaxnb> my tiny horse
<@snark> I used to ponder the nature of comradeship
<njsg> snark: why don't you ponder anymore?
<@snark> someone divided its mystical power so that I got a share
<lingrush> guys guys I was just accepted into my first PhD program I am super relieved
<lingrush> aahhhhhhhhhh
<@snark> no no, the aahhhhhh part goes before "my tiny horse"
<@snark> you're ruining everything

#2333 (+30/-8)
ShortWave: SNACK ATTACK MOTHERFUCKER!!
-moderator:#xkcd-signal- ShortWave, you have been muted for 4 seconds.
ShortWave: I must have done that already...dammit...WTF.
karanlyons: The moderator should quadruple your mute time again if it's something you yourself have said before.
FunkyTuba: heh...lanaer .. that double quadrupling thing for your own repeats is something I could get behind
lanaer: FunkyTuba: glad you like it, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't my idea
FunkyTuba: oops... I meant karanlyons. Didn't mean to misattribute
FunkyTuba: heh...karanlyons .. that double quadrupling thing for your own repeats is something I could get behind
-moderator:#xkcd-signal- FunkyTuba, you have been muted for 32 seconds.

#539 (+33/-8)
khmer: god help me i will raise an objection very high
relsqui: baby I'll raise your objection all night
khmer: relsqui: my objection raises whenever you're near
khmer: and it's sustained

#5376 (+19/-4)
< mascot> it said "Don't Miss VMware Europe"
< mascot> from vmware
< mascot> and I just glanced and saw "Miss VMware Europe"
< mascot> I had these images of beauty queens with virtualisation engines
< jackolas> lol
< jackolas> Drag queens
< jackolas> this could lead to a funny ad
< mascot> And now Miss VMware estonia sporting a lovely dress and a locked down virtualised server 2008

#6788 (+18/-5)
<Ykstort> wait that can't be nethack
<Ykstort> what game are you talking about?
<Bucket> Nethack.