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#9835 (+19/-0)
== Radnall [theme@hide-B3A1C0D6.clients.kiwiirc.com] has joined
<Radnall> hi
<njsg> Radnall: hi theme
== Radnall is now known as theme
<theme> njsg: how did you know that?

#4304 (+30/-7)
<Royall> flyingferret, everybody or everyone
<flyingferret> everybody
<Bucket> was kung fu fighting HOOH!

#352 (+68/-13)
<qmre0> rot26 test: does this work? how long until the decryption algorithm is worked out I wonder
<xuzre> qmre0: ABORT ABORT
<xuzre> WE HAVE BEEN DISCOVERED
<qmre0> OH MY GOD
<qmre0> HOW DID THEY FIGURE OUT THE ALGORITHM THAT FAST?
<qmre0> QUICK, SWITCH OVER TO ROT52
<qmre0> whew, nobody will get this now
<xuzre> qmre0, I HAVE LOCK ON ROT52 SCRAMBLER THREE, DO YOU READ ME
<qmre0> YES
<xuzre> ENGAGING DOUBLE BITFLIP SUBROUTINE
<qmre0> so it's settled, we kill them all at noon

#8686 (+9/-0)
<LogicalDash> #xkcd what is your opinion on people who lean into the room but don't enter it to talk to you?
<vikramverma> LogicalDash: bang 'em
<Tec2> LogicalDash: hang 'em
<SpicyLemon> LogicalDash: Stare at their tits.
<neoinr> LogicalDash: consume their flesh
<tankgunk> LogicalDash: Are they leaning in to talk to you, or just being creepy?
<LogicalDash> tankgunk: is it an either/or
<Durka> LogicalDash, I assume they're naked

#8747 (+15/-3)
<Ahrotahntee> the only renewable resource is meat
<neoinr> Ahrotahntee: tHAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
<Bucket> about the dead body
...
<neoinr> The only truly renewable energy source is Bucket factoids

#5314 (+15/-4)
* Antichickensandwich is now known as Antipaganda
<insanity_muffin> damnit
<insanity_muffin> right when i was going to test my idea
<insanity_muffin> you go back to Antipaganda.
<insanity_muffin> i was going to press a chicken salad sandwich to you and see if it turned into a salad
* Antipaganda is sorry for being unscientific.

#8558 (+8/-1)
< InitHello> s/m/,/
< XMPPwocky> b/d/,/
< InitHello> x/y/z/
< mysss> s/alpha/beta/
< Rena> l/o/l/
< XMPPwocky> s/top/itguys/
< XMPPwocky> w/hyar/wedoingthis/
< Rena> also s/things I see/what you did there/ )
< InitHello> s/µ/ξ/
-!- mode/#xkcd [+N] by snark
<@snark> just pretend that was +m
<@snark> and think about what you did
-!- mode/#xkcd [-N] by snark

#9196 (+42/-0)
<x2x> The holding fee for APNIC v6 blocks is 1180 * 1.3 ^(log2(nAddresses) - 22)
<schwal> Who puts a log in their pricing guide?
<schwal> Apart from woodsellers?
<Cheez> Cake makers near christmas, schwal.

#10167 (+13/-0)
< Bucket> you don't have genitalia
<@barometz> Bucket: what was that?
< Bucket> barometz: That was 'you' (#68336): don't have genitalia
<@barometz> Bucket: forget that
< Bucket> Okay, barometz, forgot that you don't have genitalia
<@barometz> accurate as it was when addressed to Bucket
<@creature> Bucket's last line did make me giggle.
<@barometz> <_< strictly need to know basis

#9206 (+4/-0)
< schwal> Your mother is an artifact land.
< schwal> and you are an artifact instant.
< schwal> I...I just made an MTG your mother joke.
* schwal examines his life.

#9137 (+20/-0)
< toresbe> I've gotten some seriously awesome tours in my day from friends at both JPL and CERN, but Cerenkov radiation is still not crossed off on my bucket list
<@Shrdlu> toresbe: It's tricky! The places that produce the most of it absolutely won't let you see it.
<@Shrdlu> Which is only partly because, if you were close enough to see it, you would die.
<@Stereo> i want someone to tell me the northern lights are cerenkov radiation and just look at the sky, but they would be lying so that's not really any good
<@Shrdlu> Stereo: the northern lights *are* cerenkov radiation, though!
<@Shrdlu> Stereo: the color is affected by rayleigh scattering
<@Shrdlu> note to everyone but Stereo: please do not believe me; I am full of shit
<@Stereo> Shrdlu: dammit, if i hadn't just ... yes
<@Shrdlu> note to Stereo: this is 100% true

#858 (+21/-6)
<Fredd> It's prime time in #xkcd!
<creature> Fredd: Since when has 10 been prime?
<L> 10 is prime?! NFW
<apo> 10 *is* prime
<Kumquat> Ten is not prime
<apo> In base 2, base 3, base 5...

#10437 (+16/-0)
<@Stereo> in the fine tradition of prisoners carving toothbrushes into knives, i kinda want to turn a switchblade into a folding toothbrush
< Shona> that sounds dangerous for your oral hygiene?
< Shona> where would you put the bristles?
<@Shrdlu> in your mouth
<@Shrdlu> obvs

#7281 (+17/-1)
<SmilinBob> ferret, pokemon or phantom hourglass?
<MCRtist> ah
<flyingferret> Neither.
<ellipsis> Apocrypha: not really
<SmilinBob> ferret, then mass effect?
<flyingferret> Not a chance.
<SmilinBob> ferret hates rpgs
<scgtrp> flyingferret: should SmilinBob have any fun at all?
<flyingferret> Nope.
<SmilinBob> AGHHHGASHDGASHDFKJASLk

#117 (+13/-0)
<%root> whine whine whine
<%root> bitch bitch bitch
<%root> moan moan moan
<%root> complain complain complain
<%root> I have the world's smallest lisp machine right here and guess who it's tail recursing for.

#4428 (+20/-6)
<Teknobo> Biden was a surprise, but given Obama's prominence, it really didn't matter who he picked as long as they were semi-reasonable
<backflip1chicken> He should have selected Oprah as his running mate
<Teknobo> I would love having Oprah as VP, she could jumpstart the economy with her own bank account, and then she'd give us all cars!

#6799 (+112/-16)
< packrat> strangest thing happened just now
< packrat> I was walking back from the library, whistiling "always look on the bright side of life" from the life of brian
< packrat> and suddenly a man joined in on the whistling. And then another. and then someone started singing
< packrat> and we had a little mini-musical right then and there

#8474 (+11/-4)
< njsg> (OTOH, I also want to point out the culprit is the biggest memory hog ever seen by mankind)
< nyan> njsg: oh?
< njsg> nyan: firefox
< Bucket> firefox is a frinking memory whore

#6833 (+18/-4)
<ShortWave> puhjgn m,09oikm -0oikmn ujmn jmn nmm nm,, ';m ;.l;l.,mn m,.;;lkjmnhbnmkl,;.;lkjhnbg
<RK> cat-like ShortWave detected

#4445 (+10/-0)
Selig: ...
Bucket: [You hear in the distance the chirping of a song bird.]
Lhyzz: ...
Bucket: [chirp, chirp]

#7939 (+21/-3)
<hexium>: Seth is so round that cleartrip changed their "round trip" fare to "seth trip"
<Seth>: hexium is so bad at making jokes he's actually carrot top

#7098 (+31/-6)
<@khmer> killings: i had to date a rich girl from baltimore who knew xiu xiu and the wrens and made me mix cds to get fully broken out
< adiabatic> khmer: 'had to'?
<@khmer> adiabatic: yeah i was pretty much forced at gunpoint to go out with her
<@khmer> by gunpoint here i mean my nineteen-year-old dowsing wang

#507 (+3/-2)
< Queenie`> well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
< Queenie`> time to sleep.
-!- Queenie` [buva@C609652B.FBDC9D9E.1FFACB39.IP] has quit [Quit: Gone crazy. Be back shortly.]
< zombie_monkey> hm, could it really be female?
< zombie_monkey> PIX PLS
< zombie_monkey> THERE ARE NO GIRLS ON THE INTERNET
< viridian> ...
<+Bucket> [Somewhere in the distance you hear the rhythmic sound of kakos humping.]
* TwoDaemon points at the last xkcd strip. Or the one before, I lose track.
< zombie_monkey> the one before
< zombie_monkey> and that was kind of redundant
< zombie_monkey> that was the point
< TwoDaemon> Then you missed the point.
< TwoDaemon> Irony, not irony, sarcasm, doesn't matter. Just don't say it at all. It's for the best.
< zombie_monkey> the point is I have never done this
< zombie_monkey> but now because of this strip I do
< zombie_monkey> I mean, I never got it. But now it's a funny thing to say because it's a reference to a xkcd strip
< danb> i'm not sure that was the point of the strip, z_m...
< zombie_monkey> well maybe I didin't get the strip
-!- Jennie [chatzilla@hide-5EED6E7.se.biz.rr.com] has joined #xkcd
< zombie_monkey> IT'S A GIRL.
< zombie_monkey> sorry, I'll stop.
< TwoDaemon> Good.

#1204 (+30/-6)
ChibiFirli: my router is built with a paperclip, cereal and some duct tape
ChibiFirli: the cereal is very important
geekahedron: ChibiFirli: cereal? so it's like .. a fiber network?

#8778 (+17/-4)
< fantasyprone> aaaaaaaaaa fuck why does coworker have the air con on
< fantasyprone> it's like 23C
< fantasyprone> turn it the fuck OFF I have fripples like you wouldn't believe
< Thanatos02> fantasyprone: 23C is a delicious temperature.
< fantasyprone> Thanatos02: EXACTLY
< fantasyprone> it's just warm enough
<@Stereo> is fripples a portmanteau of freezing and nipples
< fantasyprone> but nooooooooooo, somebody wants freezing titsville
< asarkar> Well, that answers that question

#8928 (+4/-2)
<Ranzear> I could go for another sandwich.
<Ranzear> I wish I had one of those uh... what are they called?
<mdik> morphine syringes?
<Ranzear> No the other thing.
<Ranzear> That you put in your kitchen
<Andres> olives!
<+Bucket> <rosonowski> Olives are somehing I'll never understand how they became a food, other than someone was REAAAAAAAALY hungry
<Ranzear> and it has a blade.
<Andres> scissors!
<mdik> tubes, that go through your nose into your stomache?
<Ranzear> And it makes you happy by moving back an forth?
<Andres> food processor!
<Ranzear> Deli slicer! That's it...
<Ranzear> I need a deli slicer.
<Andres> Ranzear, you can cut all sorts of things with that!
<@IceKarma> Ranzear, can I make a suggestion, in case you ever pick one up?
<@IceKarma> Ranzear, get yourself a pair of those chain-mail gloves, while you're at it
<mdik> "making happy by going back and forth" and "blades" are phrases better not be combined!
<@IceKarma> although I suppose you only need just one
<Ranzear> I think there might actually be a little consumer grade one around here...
<Ranzear> Not that I'd find all the parts for it.
<Ranzear> Also, no bites on the faux-misogyny gag? Really?
<Ranzear> I was setting that up for like, ten minutes!
<SinghSong> Ranzear: it was too hard.
<Andres> Olives are quite gender-biased

#8490 (+17/-0)
* shoofle takes apart an n64 controller with the intention of making it into a sex toy
<@Shrdlu> When shoofle meets that special lady with three vaginas, he will be GLEEFULLY WELL-PREPARED
<@shoofle> I mean, what other kind of lady would I want, given the three hands that I play n64 with?

#979 (+11/-5)
< Aesuna> 1 is the loneliest number. :(
< Junk> it goes to multiply with another number
< apo> Is 1 emo?
< Junk> and then goes 'was it good for you?'
< Junk> and the other number goes 'didn't do much, really'
< lex> apo: 1 prefers the term 'socially misguided'
< Aesuna> Really, 1 is everywhere, but most people just ignore it.

#9870 (+9/-5)
<ticamai> He was expelling blood from both ends.
<ticamai> Might be cancer.
<ticamai> and... He looks... absolutely terrible.
<Rena> oh dear.
<Bucket> That's going to take *ages* to fix.

#7323 (+22/-2)
< AntiLuke> I had a friend last year who was our groups "Dr Phil" he moved and I miss him.
< phobiac> AntiLuke: He gave horrible advice and made a spectacle of everyone's problems, when he should have been helping them?

#2976 (+5/-2)
Christmas: Oh hey Babam
Christmas: What up Dawggg
Babam: Not much homie, you chillin like a comunist villan in a sterotypical movie?
Babam: Word?
Christmas: Indeed.
Christmas: Words.

#8256 (+13/-4)
<Antior> let's just say that the ignorance of some people never seizes to amaze me

#6019 (+19/-12)
<Pungent_Liquid> You have in your inventory a pack of toothpicks, a pack of matches, a rubber band, a pack of paperclips, a pencil, a pen, a wallet, and a pair of rook chess pieces (one white and one black).
<Meroma> Who am I, MacGuyver?

#5997 (+67/-11)
<InitHello> Randall is active, everyone try to look smart so we can impress him
<fantasyprone> a Wild Randall appeared! InitHello used Impress!
* InitHello was kicked by Randall (It's not very effective!)

#870 (+277/-31)
<Fredd> the IRL equivalent of IRC is 200 people in a crowd. Only 5 of them are actually talking. The rest are just..staring.

#9978 (+27/-0)
<Sysi> I don't think plato would've thought gods were purely ideal, maybe just more ideal and less material than humans
<barometz> the homeric gods were very much not ideal
<barometz> but, y'know, they're gods. What are you gonna do?
<Sysi> steal their fire

#9046 (+129/-5)
<Ahrotahntee> Bucket is one of our generations great philosophers. Observe.
<Ahrotahntee> Bucket: random
<Bucket> I HAVE FISHING LINE IN MY PANTS AND A GOLDFISH ATE MY GRANDMOTHER

#8067 (+48/-0)
< paratus> SUCCESS! We have captured the enemy intelligence.
< Burstaholic> now the enemy will be stupid!

#4319 (+21/-5)
<Lucifer> rather @Lucifer in #hell than +Lucifer in #heaven

#9479 (+25/-0)
<Ater> my offspring actually says "nom nom nom" when he's eating
<schwal> Parenthood: success.
<Ater> \o/ my work here is done
* Ater leaves

#249 (+7/-0)
<shoofle> do you have more plaster?
<relsqui> nope, only the leftover solid plaster
<shoofle> try sticking it in the hole

#8852 (+30/-1)
<llrcombs> unless you're looking at the code, being all secure and stuff, don't put your password into anything but the thing that password is for
<maxh> llrcombs: Or IRC, because IRC automatically hides your password.
<maxh> ********** see?
<llrcombs> ********************* <-- that's mine
<neoinr> ***************
<neoinr> one of mine
<neoinr> *******************
<neoinr> other
<Random832> llrcombs: now i know you have the same password as me ********************* though, so i can change mine then hack your account
<SoobNauce> hunter2
<Bucket> That's the same combination as my luggage!
<fiyarburst> secretbucketsexfantasy
<fiyarburst> did it work??
<Bucket> No, and we tried both heavy bass and sex toys.

#7704 (+80/-9)
fedora: religion is like genitalia
fedora: I expect you not to show it off in public and not to shove it down your kid's throat

#10233 (+5/-2)
<mrkman> think ive seen pp a couple times
<mrkman> but bari sax, they dont really do quiet
<mrkman> they do loud, louder, and the girls sitting in front of me just came due to their chairs vibrating

#4056 (+72/-13)
halberd: I knew a krystal whose name was Jen someplace else
halberd: before my time here
Spaztick: i knew a crystal once.
ZettaWatt: A quartz?
snark: I courted it a crystal once.
snark: She was pretty gneiss, but she took me for granite.
snark: I amethyst close to making another pun which will likely get a very stony reception =P
ZettaWatt: If you're trying topaz me off, it worked.

#4390 (+51/-9)
<killerwabbit> well...i got all sorts of weird questions in high school
<killerwabbit> because my last name is long
<killerwabbit> and it almost got changed to longwood so that my brother and i could have same last names
<killerwabbit> his is wood
<killerwabbit> my mom was like lets just combine them!
<killerwabbit> i was like umm mom think about that for a second
<killerwabbit> my name would be joey scott longwood
<killerwabbit> say it really fast

#9466 (+17/-2)
<khmer> do you think i could use a 3d printer as a a 2d printer
<khmer> by telling it that the object i want is a sheet of paper with a document printed on it
<Shrdlu> khmer: if you're willing to accept an extra step, you could 3d-print a stencil
<Shrdlu> ooh, or can you 3d-print a 2d printer? because you could produce one that's hard-wired to print your document
<jrtappers> Or you could 3d print a 3d printer that prints your premade 2d printer, for large amounts in quick time

#648 (+14/-0)
* _LSK_ 's head explodes
relsqui: what's confusing you?
this: this

#6223 (+15/-4)
<isitolian> feureau: You need app rehab. I think there might be an app for it.

#8504 (+15/-2)
<@Lhyzz> Welcome to another episode of Will My Cat Eat It?
<@Lhyzz> Today, we're going to be seeing if Dottie will eat...
<@Lhyzz> a crunchy Chinese soup noodle!
* PacifistDalek watches Lhyzz's cat intently.
<@Lhyzz> Let's see...
<@Lhyzz> *crunch* *crunch* *crunch*
<@Lhyzz> She ate it!
<@Lhyzz> And she wants more!
<PacifistDalek> The crowd goes wild!
<dextroid> Lhyzz: thats what I said
<dextroid> mm? mm?
<@Lhyzz> Join us next time, when we'll be giving her a tin of tuna, and seeing if she can chew her way into the can! Goodnight!
<PacifistDalek> Will My Cat Eat It? Is a much more popular show than Will My Dog Eat It?, as WMDEI tends to be a foregone conclusion

<Loki> my neighbors dog ate a giant hersheys kiss
<yazdmich> oh god
<Loki> with a tinfoil wrapper still on it
<Anon-Fox> did it die?
<yazdmich> was the dog ok?
<Loki> yeah, he was fine, just stupid