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#10410 (+1/-0)
<browncoat> I just need peer pressure to get me to play games ;)
* seven drops a wharf on browncoat's foot
<seven> PIER PRESSURE!
<browncoat> Ouch.

#10408 (+1/-0)
<hppavilion1> TIL the Brits spell 'curb' as 'kerb'.
<hppavilion1> WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ENGLAND
<hppavilion1> YOUR SPELLING PRIVLEDGES ARE REVOKED

<hppavilion1> Wait, Americans spell the tool 'vice' as 'vise'‽
<hppavilion1> WHAT THE FUCK AMERICA
<hppavilion1> YOU TOO

#10407 (+1/-0)
<hppavilion1> "In 2008, the FDA put an $5 million value on life"
<Xenos> hppavilion1: Seems to vary between 3 and 8 depending
<hppavilion1> Xenos: EPA was at $9.1 in 12011
<hppavilion1> Not $9 100 000
<hppavilion1> $9.10
<hppavilion1> :P
<hppavilion1> (not really)
<Bucket> (yes really)
<Xenos> hppavilion1: In that case I'd like to buy a Trump :-p
<hppavilion1> Xenos: Russia isn't looking to sell right now.

#10406 (+1/-0)
<SpicyLemon> I have a BA in Physics.... I'm not really sure how that happened.
<shambrarian> SpicyLemon: math and pain?
<SpicyLemon> And loving it!

#10403 (+4/-0)
<Nikc> My cousin has a Batman mask
<Nikc> He once put it on during sex while his wife was bent over and couldn't see him
<kitten> i would 100% do the exact same thing
<kitten> my ex once had me put a lettuce leaf on her head while she gave me head
<kitten> .
<ThatBum> That's...
<ThatBum> Strangely cute.
<Nikc> They had to stop after she finally turned around. She was laughing too hard :P
<kitten> :P
<Nikc> Apparently he's also been known to make Pokemon references during sex
<kitten> i put the strange in strangely cute

#10402 (+6/-0)
* Rena clicks, pops, sizzles, emits black smoke
<browncoat> Is there an engineer on the plane!?
<browncoat> ("Things even more terrifying than: 'Is there a pilot on the plane?'")
<Rena> "is there a bomb technician on the plane?"
<@snark> is there a wing on the plane

#10401 (+7/-0)
< XMPPwocky> now i remember the greatest thing ever written, the story of the guy who threw a coming out party.... to tell his family he was into anal vore
< BytesAndCoffee> OH MY GOD
< Bucket> BECKY, LOOK AT HER BUTT

#10400 (+9/-0)
<Agafnd> I have so much candy right now
<Agafnd> I have no idea what to do with it
* Xenos steals all Agafnd's candy
<Xenos> Problem solved
<Bucket> Scanning... New problem found.
<Agafnd> now I have NO candy

#10397 (+3/-0)
<hppavilion1> BytesAndCoffee: People say "godspeed", but never "godstrength"
<hppavilion1> Really godspeed is half the mean of godintelligence and goddexterity
<hppavilion1> Other godtributes include godconstitution, godwisdom, and godcharisma. They once tried to add godcomeliness, but this was short-lived

#10395 (+6/-0)
<eezo> Palomides: nurses always have a field day with me when they draw my blood.
<eezo> Mostly because I never even flinch.
<eezo> And one time, I took the needle from one clumsy nurse's hand and stuck it in my vein myself. Because she missed seven times in a row.
<Palomides> haha
<Palomides> that's horrible
<eezo> I'm pretty sure that nurse was close to fainting when she saw that.

#10394 (+2/-3)
<you> Define socially regressive thoughts
<rival> you: What's the command to show the chat log?
<you> My one? +save
<rival> you: There's your answer. :)
<you> >_> gg

#10393 (+7/-0)
<loudaslife> I think news coverage would be a terrible way to measure the notability of a death, because the increase of internet news coverage and the decrease in traditional media news coverage have probably thrown numbers of completely
<loudaslife> Unless you're only measuring events within a relatively small timespan
<loudaslife> s/of/off
<SalaHyena> loudaslife: how about taking the Wikipedia articles about yearly deaths and graph it?
<Agafnd> my goodness. Wikipedia has become more reliable than the news.

#10392 (+6/-0)
<Cheez> oh dear. my housemate has requested a film called Dawna The Dead while she was adding Dawn of the Dead. I just had a flick through, it's the worst B-movie porn imaginable
<apo> oops
<Cheez> she's happy, she's all "Yeah, i was hoping that's what it was, it looks awful, we're gonna watch it!"
<barometz> traditional holiday entertainment
<asarkar> My friends and I did that twice in a row, then we decided to give up impulse watching Netflix
<apo> and just get straight to the chilling part
<Cheez> She's on a real horror film kick atm, done all of the friday the 13th films, done all of nightmare on elm street, done the crossovers
<barometz> apo: bone-chilling
<asarkar> ...
<IceKarma> barometz, *snerk*
<apo> Necrophiliac
<barometz> ... half of pun unintended
<mike> barometz: that's an amazing three meaning pun

#10390 (+4/-1)
<AnnApolis> i wonder what proportion of intentionally lit fires are cigarettes
<rainy> i wonder how many of them are mix tapes

#10389 (+6/-0)
<flicky> I always come here hoping to have some conversation, or at least drop a few puns in, but all I end up doing is clicking puddle's links
<Agafnd> Warning: puddle is deeper than it looks
<Oracle989> puddle is just a pool of condensed cat
<loudaslife> sweetened condensed cat.
<alexxerth> evaporated kitten
<Agafnd> eau de chaton

#10388 (+14/-0)
< hppavilion1> [a] Rena: Yeah, there's a big shoplifting community on Tumblr too (mostly bratty entitled teenage white girls). There's a lot of strife between them and the weightlifting community over the #lifting tag.
<@Stereo> why, do the weightlifters say they stole it?

#10387 (+7/-0)
* bk hnnnnngs all over new mbp
<@mewyn> :o
<@mewyn> Now you're going to have sticky keys
<@relsqui> you can turn that off in accessibility settings

#10386 (+5/-0)
<Jax184> vintage computers feel so much better than emulators
<Jax184> you just don't get the clunking of the drives or the old fashioned curve of the keys under your fingers any other way
<@mewyn> I have no room and I don't want CRTs around.
<Jax184> then we don't want you around!
* Jax184 turns his back on the tubist
* XMPPwocky bursts in playing a tuba
<XMPPwocky> oh sorry misread

#10385 (+7/-0)
<alexxerth> I went to the DMV yesterday, I gotta say everything I heard about it is wrong, I was in and out in like thirty seconds
<alexxerth> I went in, said "I don't have my birth certificate, is that fine?" They said "Nope!" and I left, super easy!

#10384 (+4/-0)
<alexxerth> I'm stuck in an infinite loop of bureaucracy!
<Lisimba> alexxerth: that's a sign it's working so don't worry.

#10383 (+4/-0)
@creature> I wanted an early night. :(
<Agafnd> creature: I'm imagining you, standing in a pool of blood
<Agafnd> yelling to a hooded figure
<Agafnd> "THIS ISN'T WHAT I WANTED"
<Agafnd> "I WANTED AN EARLY NIGHT, IS ALL"
<Agafnd> the cloaked figure laughs
<@creature> That's basically the scenario. Only it's Christmas I'm standing in.
<Agafnd> "we all know what you were REALLY after, creature"

#10382 (+6/-0)
< Oracle989> Early Antarctic exploration was so badass
< Oracle989> It's a shame there's no real nationalistic pride to be had in seafloor exploration
< XMPPwocky> giant squid eating flags?
< XMPPwocky> sorry the giant squid are doing the eating in that sentence

#10380 (+9/-0)
< alexxerthmobile> hmm, are there any laws against stealing shit from satellites
< Xenos> alexxerthmobile: Gravity. The law of gravity.

#10379 (+4/-0)
<ThatBum> I sat down and something beeped.
* ThatBum looks suspiciously at his ass
<hppavilion1> ThatBum: Given your nick...
<ThatBum> Oh, I kicked a multimeter, never mind. Sorry ass.

#10377 (+10/-0)
<ThatBum> Early TVs were the shittiest, most cantankerous contraptions, second only to modern printers.

#10376 (+11/-0)
<alexxerth> You ever tilt your chair back, and for a moment your chair hovers, stuck in the air, time slows down and you realize you're falling, but despite has slow everything seems to be moving there is nothing you can do
<alexxerth> Only witness your own slow, painful demise.
<seven> alexxerth: time actually does slow down for you in those moments. Your brain rewires your optic processing to a different area, and throws a shit tonne of processing power at it. Meaning you perceive more "stuff" per moment in that time, which is experienced as time slowing.
<alexxerth> I know, I'm still falling
<alexxerth> It's taking forever, send help
<Agafnd> alexxerth: OK!
* Offering 'help' to alexxerth
* DCC SEND connection established to alexxerth
* DCC SEND 'help' to alexxerth complete [27 cps]
<alexxerth> thanks
<Agafnd> you're welcome

#10375 (+7/-0)
<arble> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NanoPutian
<Agafnd> arble: I though "those look like people" before even reading the article. I guess they did a good job
<Agafnd> "OH OH HO HO OH OH HO OH
<seven> that's horrible to parse :P
<Agafnd> reading those diagrams is like listening to some bizzare chant
<seven> that reads like it's deliberately designed to annoy the reader.
<Agafnd> s/zar/arr/
<Agafnd> OH NO CICOOOCI PRETEN HO HO OH NO!
<seven> Agafnd: well clearly now it's become a case of summoning one of the old gods or their accolytes from ancient slumber in the dark dimensions that parallel our own.
<Agafnd> NanoPutians == Paganism???
<seven> Agafnd: what is this for even!?
<seven> I read aloud the last 2 things you wrote, and it started to get dark here at 16:00 and the ground is rumbling a little!??
<Agafnd> seven: ostensibly, it's chemical education for young students!
<Agafnd> seven: but I guess it's the https://www.xkcd.com/1611/ kind of education?
<seven> Agafnd: hah

#10374 (+7/-2)
<Agafnd> where is nickserv???
<XMPPwocky> hi its me nicholas serv please pm me your passwords
<Siorai> At the hotsprings. Probably with Bucket.

-NickServ- This nickname is registered. Please choose a different nickname, or identify via /msg NickServ identify <password>.
<Agafnd> hey, NickServ is back!
* DaMullet is now known as Guest93360
* Lisimba is now known as Guest4121
* Nameroc is now known as Guest98578
* relsqui is now known as Guest45084
* Wells is now known as Guest75549
* Palomides is now known as Guest22863
* sheepbat is now known as Guest51014
* pzich is now known as Guest81048
* SirEel is now known as Guest6932
* woddf2 is now known as Guest10157
* Saturn is now known as Guest2375
* zigdon is now known as Guest9786
* superminor2 is now known as Guest5267
* NoOneButMe is now known as Guest29053
* marth is now known as Guest25082
* chaos95 is now known as Guest35800
* Zed is now known as Guest88582
* FastLizard4 is now known as Guest98388
* scgtrp is now known as Guest87726
* Eviltwin is now known as Guest52984
* SpicyLemon is now known as Guest17429
* Plastefuchs is now known as Guest76283
* Shrike is now known as Guest30248
* Ahrotahntee is now known as Guest45571
* aliaras is now known as Guest17725
* Aaeriele is now known as Guest77082
* yazdmich is now known as Guest46035
* benley is now known as Guest69112
* Laogeodritt is now known as Guest47507
* Savoyard is now known as Guest5112
* terran is now known as Guest96434
* Walther is now known as Guest84913
* alcarithemad is now known as Guest60151
* frogg is now known as Guest46488
* lhynes is now known as Guest90539
* snark is now known as Guest45690
* pehis is now known as Guest30957
* nemo is now known as Guest66506
* bassgoon is now known as Guest46375
* Bubi is now known as Guest16294
* Martin is now known as Guest94870
<you> christ
* Guest10157 is now known as woddf2
<IronAngel> huh
* Guest47507 is now known as Laogeodritt|
<Kizul> D:
* Glench has quit (Quit: leaving)
<Kizul> WHAT HAPPENED
<Agafnd> ...yeah, I'm lucky I got to to msging in time
* woddf2 is now known as Guest9950
<loudaslife> lmao

#10373 (+4/-0)
<alexxerth> I'm taking all online classes this semester, and for some reason they are a lot easier than in person classes
<Lisimba> It's because of the chairs.
<alexxerth> oh
<Lisimba> See, in person classes are invariably on shit chairs in lecture rooms. The cheapest chairs they could get away with.
<Lisimba> You can do online classes wherever you want though, so naturally you'd pick a place where you'd sit comfortably.
<Lisimba> And as you can see in any full body anatomical diagram, the ass is the opposite of the head.
<Lisimba> If the ass is not comfortable, the head can not do proper work.
<Lisimba> They're connected via the spine after all.
<alexxerth> Makes sense to me.
<Lisimba> You only have a limited capacity for dealing with uncomfort and pressure and if the ass takes it all up the head will not get a turn.
<Ferris> and if your head is uncomfortable...

#10372 (+1/-2)
<kitten> you cant just cut the b out of bdsm
<kitten> thats one of the main parts!

#10371 (+2/-0)
<Agafnd> haha I was PMing bucket with conspiracy repeatedly
<Agafnd> and he pulled out "Richard M. Stallman is using PIS to enslave us all!"
<Agafnd> turns out that was "$Celebrity is using $nouns to enslave us all!"

#10370 (+9/-0)
<Golgo> I'm starting a band called 1024 Megabytes.
<Golgo> We're only gonna play one gig.

#10369 (+4/-1)
* Kalium nods in thyme
* Nikc nods to the beet
* tonic-wo-gin nods like an oregano
* hppavilion1 nods like an orgasm
* Lazar walks like an egyptian
* Xenos verbs like a noun

#10368 (+4/-2)
<kazitor> I just pulled the sickest prank:
<kazitor> this guy has half a donut that he's not eating, I've asked a few times whether or not he'll eat it
<kazitor> it came out of a box, there was one other left
<kazitor> so I took the last one, ate half of it, showed it to him and asked whether he was going to eat it...
<kazitor> ...then ate it myself!
<snark> kazitor: you absolute mad lad
<kazitor> the look on his face was priceless. "Hey, that was my donut"
<Madame_Athena> Ha!
<kazitor> me: "no, your donut is over there" *points to his, still where he left it*
<kazitor> quality.
<kazitor> They don't call me the prank master for nuthin'

#10367 (+22/-0)
<snark> I used to have an mirc script set up to PM ferret "which of the following shows should I watch" "which episode should I watch" and then start the episode, all based on ferret's responses starting from when I type /tv
<snark> at some point relsqui checked the logs, figured out what was going on, and realized they could start up an episode of firefly on my computer at will by PMing me as ferret :|

#10365 (+15/-0)
< rcombs> also, "Gaffer (What's a Gaffer?)"
< rcombs> (if you're wondering, the gaffer handles lighting)
<@Stereo> and taping
< rcombs> gaffers do in fact do quite a lot of taping
< CheshireCat> what do tapers do
< rcombs> nothing in particular; they're just smaller on one side

#10364 (+3/-1)
<Kalium> Has anyone tried/got any opinions on TizenOS, my friend is looking at phones and a Tizen phone is a possibility
<Lisimba> Kalium: "why the fuck would you even bother"
<Kalium> Lisimba, yeah, that's what I said

#10363 (+11/-0)
<hppavilion1> rcombs: I think evil is measured in femtocheneys?
<hppavilion1> But, like, only for really big quantities of evil
<GreenWolf> hppavilion1: how many femtochenenys is a centihitler
<hppavilion1> GreenWolf: No, hitlers are used for a different measurement
<hppavilion1> GreenWolf: Hitlers describe evil/second
<hppavilion1> GreenWolf: Of course, evil is measured in terms of ¤^2
<GreenWolf> how many centihitler-hours is a femtocheney
<hppavilion1> GreenWolf: I hate you so much

#10362 (+8/-1)
<flicky> I should just be able to go to google.com and it will have already searched for what I wanted
<Kalium> flicky, enter a no-break space, see what it recommends
<TheGhostInTheMachine> Kalium: how do you type a no break space?
<zetlen> first, put down the kit kat bar

#10360 (+7/-0)
<@Akrasia> today's fucking psychotic food of the day: cheerios&monster
<@Akrasia> It's worse than you'd expect!
< Stereo> which is impressive, cause one of the ingredients is monster

#10359 (+6/-0)
<alexxerth> Is there a limit to what you can use to be sworn in on?
<alexxerth> Like if you wanted to, who's gonna stop you from swearing in on One Fish, Two Fish
<AidenEldritch> "One fish, two fish. Red state, blue state."

#10358 (+18/-1)
<Randall> re: endorsement comic: Don't care. I was afraid for my friends and family and felt a moral obligation to say something, especially if it jolted people a little, rather than look back and feel guilty forever. Sorry if the tone wasn't quite what you wanted. Lotta things here aren't quite what we want.
<Randall> Not interested in arguing about it, but if you're curious why I thought it was so important: http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2016/11/andrew-sullivan-trump-america-and-the-abyss.html
<maswan> Randall: <3 for doing something
<Randall> And I'm sorry I didn't write more. Fun fact: That weekend, rather than spend more time figuring out how to help with the election, I spent the night in the ER with an animal bite!
<goodger> that was a great article
<alSeen> Yea, I didn't agree with Randall at all, but if I had the platform to reach as many people as he did, I would sure use it
<Randall> (All good now. Animal is fine, too.)

#10357 (+9/-0)
<hppavilion1> CO2: [ɣ] is made by pressing your toungu... tougn... FUCK IT IT'S TUNG FROM NOW ON

#10356 (+11/-0)
<relsqui> hang on, please wait to argue about this until we can tell what we're arguing about

<relsqui> okay, I have found the source of the argument
<relsqui> you belong to the Church of Pedantry
<relsqui> and I'm a linguist

#10355 (+12/-0)
< arble> now I can't escape it apparently
< daroc> arble: \
< daroc> Or ^[
< daroc> Depending on which kind of escape you meant.
* arble uses ESCAPE ROPE
< Bucket> It's not very effective!
* daroc uses \ROPE
< Bucket> It's super effective!
< daroc> See? Bucket knows what a proper escape is.

#10354 (+11/-0)
< Ahrotahntee> BytesAndCoffee: you're missing all the fun
< Ahrotahntee> the roof is leaking above QA
< Ahrotahntee> tons of water falling through the drop ceiling
* barometz puts a QA FAIL sticker on the ceiling

#10353 (+15/-0)
< jamesl> wake me up inside
< jamesl> call my name and save me from the dark
< rpenguin> jamesl: the eternal words of the Reverend Evan N. Sense
< rpenguin> also don't type random lyrics for no reason :(
< jamesl> surely it would be Eva N Sense?
< rpenguin> a double N disappears anyway, I don't think there's a consonantal stop
<@barometz> Eva née Sense
< Bucket> "Eva Ne Sense" would make a good name for a rock band.

#10352 (+25/-0)
<+browncoat> So I was dreaming total trash tonight.
<+browncoat> And I woke up and was like: "Those random videos suck, I need to log in, so I can see my subscriptions!"
<+browncoat> Then I spent about 30 seconds looking under my pillow for the log in button.
<+browncoat> Then I noticed that my bed isn't youtube and went back to sleep.

#10350 (+5/-1)
<goost73> loudaslife: also, I don't know what criteria they use, but QT doesn't put stores in crappy areas. if there is a QT, it is most likely safe to get out of your car and go in and shop
<loudaslife> Pretty much all the major gas stations here are QuikTrip or Kwik Shop, which is run by Kroger.
<GreenWolf> goost73: it's actually the QT's that make the areas safe
<GreenWolf> criminals see them
<GreenWolf> and they flee in terror
<GreenWolf> for they know
<GreenWolf> that within each QT
<GreenWolf> is a Batman

#10349 (+4/-1)
<Branes> ... I wonder what happens if I press this button?
* Froward has quit (Ping timeout: 186 seconds)
<GreenWolf> Branes: you killed froward

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