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#10283 (+1/-2)
⇐ seven quit (~seven@hide-717B8D5A.dyn.iinet.net.au) Ping timeout: 180 seconds
→ seven joined (~seven@66E8C53C.271345B6.47CE241D.IP)
<seven> I fell off the server.
<seven> It was scary, being alone with my thoughts, for 3 or 4 seconds.
<seven> I don't want to experience that again.
<@schwal> ...you flounced out of here like 9 hours ago >_>
<@schwal> (okay, stormed, but flounced is a much funnier word)
<@schwal> (I'm just trying to ruin your joke, not trying to be mean or anything)
<@schwal> (I should probably stop talking)
<@schwal> ()

#10282 (+3/-0)
seven: holy hell I don't want stupid shit I say like that kept on the record
Aaeriele: Bucket: remember seven record
Bucket: Okay, Aaeriele, remembering "holy hell I don't want stupid shit I say like that kept on the record".
seven: NO
XanT: I do love a good dramatic storming out I do.

#10281 (+2/-4)
Kizul: I still say it's snow.
Kizul: Or perhaps even ice cubes.
Kizul: Could be lots of things.
Bucket: Was that a haiku?

Kizul: Oracle989: That's fascinating.
Kizul: I never knew about these.
Kizul: Now I'M wondering.
Bucket: Was that a haiku?

Oracle989: Fuckin' water, man.
Kizul: How the heck does water work?
Kizul: We may never know.
Bucket: Was that a haiku?
* Kizul stops deliberately haikuing.

#10280 (+6/-10)
alexx: I'm at cracker barrel
alexx: my server's name is Alexx
alexx: with two xs
alexx: who spells it like that?

#10279 (+18/-0)
< Lisimba> I've always wanted to be a [[JobTitle]].
< Oracle989> Lisimba: I hear [[City]],[[State]] is nice this time of year
< goost73> and it's hard to say no to [[Salary]]?
< Oracle989> goost73: Do you have [[Experience]] years in the role?
< goost73> I have [[Experience1]] years with [[Language]], and [[Experience2]] years with [[Framework]]
< goost73> I have a [[Degree]] from [[University]]
< grawity> why is everyone talking in wikilinks

#10278 (+6/-8)
<@barometz> dangit, not gonna finish that tonight
< Aim> hey, it's night for you too eh?
<@barometz> just past eight, yeah
< Aim> ah
< Aim> I'm up past midnight haha
< Buckley> It's high noon
< Bucket> http://itshighnoon.tumblr.com/
< taixzo> ok a) that is a real tumblr for once b) it's not what I expected and c) note to self: don't open random tumblr pages at work

#10277 (+14/-1)
<goost73> Buckley: invent something
* Bucket tapes SONAR to alexxerth.
<alexxerth> Fool!
<alexxerth> Now I can track submarines!
* Rocktalon tapes SONAR jammmer to alexxerth
<alexxerth> Fool!
<alexxerth> Now I am undetectable to submarines!
* Rocktalon tapes a submarine to alexxerth
* Silicium tapes a Russian to alexxerth
<alexxerth> Fool!
<alexxerth> I am now the plot to a bad movie from the 90s!
<Rocktalon> I can't believe we just made Alexxerth the Red October

#10276 (+5/-14)
<DrDM> So, when worshipping the Random Number Goddess, d20 is Unitarian, while GURPS is Trinitarian?
<Celti> Sure. d20 has all those lesser saints mucking things up, though: the d4, Patron Die of Magic; the d6, Patron Die of Rogues, and the d10, Patron Die of Swordsmen.
<Celti> GURPS may be Trinitarian, but it's *pure* about it.
<DrDM> You forgot the Patron Die of Rage, the d12, so named because of the emotion it inspires when it inevitably fails to stop rolling.
<DrDM> The thing I like most about "GURPS is Trinitarian" is that each of the individual dice involved are meaningless without the other two -- it really *is* a "three-that-are-one" *thing*.

#10275 (+19/-0)
<@relsqui> itt using google scholar just to write my citations for me
<@relsqui> because holy crap fuck writing citations
<@Shrdlu> yeah I used to think "oh man it's so cool that bibtex will just write my citations for me so I don't have to look up the arcane formatting rules every time"
<@Shrdlu> and for some reason the fact that I had to look up the bibtex syntax every time was just completely lost on me

#10274 (+17/-2)
< XMPPwocky> "Missing student found safe, police report"
< XMPPwocky> wonder what was in the safe

#10273 (+12/-0)
* relsqui takes a bow
< Bucket> ...to the leg
<@relsqui> ow
<@relsqui> dammit
* Bucket takes a quarter from relsqui and places it in the swear jar.
* relsqui takes the swear jar
< Bucket> Dammit!

#10272 (+29/-0)
<~snark> heh. There's a noisy fly buzzing around in circles around my whole room. Every time it whizzes past me, I take a swing at it, and every time it whizzes past my cat on the other side of the room, he takes a swing at it. Occasionally we make eye contact and exchange a nod of understanding

#10270 (+7/-0)
* jglauche puts Sharknado in Bucket
* Bucket is now carrying Sharknado, but dropped a nuclear missile
* jglauche runs

#10269 (+10/-0)
<bk> Bucket: forget that
<Bucket> Okay, bk, forgot that danish is actually a language i'd really like to learn, if only because i'm mostly of danish ancestry
<kazitor> bucket can be convinced of anything.
<kazitor> "bucket, you do not want to learn Danish"
<kazitor> "ok," he replies
<bk> ha, parsing my text as telling bucket that his dreams aren't worth pursuing does make it more amusing
<bk> forget it, Bucket, it's chinatown

#10268 (+2/-14)
<@Stereo> i like that i can search "money money money money" and not only does it autocomplete to "money money money money moneyyy", it finds the right song

#10264 (+3/-23)
<Branes> "I don't 'ear no Acker-Dacker comin' out o' your car stereo, son."
<Kizul> ...I was about to say, "Bucket: what was that?" -- and then I noticed it wasn't Bucket who spoke.
<Branes> Don't worry, Kizul, mistaking me for Bucket is commonplace around here.
<Branes> I get that a lot.
<Bucket> I get that even more!

#10261 (+9/-0)
<ipeg> Sudo shutdown -r 5
<Lisimba> Access denied.
<Bucket> Access to your MOM sure wasn't denied last night.
<ipeg> Sorry, wrongvwimdow
<Lisimba> Also your home dir is now deleted.
<ipeg> Man the console got very sassy with the latest update

#10260 (+15/-2)
* alexbuzzbee is trying to not fall asleep while learning friction.
* BytesAndCoffee gives alexbuzzbee a teflon-coated book
<BytesAndCoffee> here, have some non-friction reading material

#10258 (+45/-3)
< alexbuzzbee> Who maintains the xkcdb?
<@relsqui> alexbuzzbee: why?
< alexbuzzbee> Just wondering who decides what goes on?
<@relsqui> me
< CO2> alexbuzzbee: relsqui cannot be bribed, afaik
<@relsqui> hey now let's not be hasty

#10257 (+18/-1)
< arble> I just noticed that the trash chute hatch here is marked "RUBBISH"
< arble> which I think is quite harsh because it's actually a very good hatch

#10256 (+4/-10)
CO2: I think this is the first Dutch anti-gay cartoon I've ever seen
CO2: fucking assholes
djh: CO2: yes, that's what they do!

#10255 (+11/-0)
< loudaslife> is di-tritium monoxide a thing? Like, would that make extra-heavy water?
< loudaslife> Huh. It is
< loudaslife> Oooh, you can also use exotic isotopes of oxygen
< loudaslife> Tritium with two Oxygen 18 atoms makes water that is almost 30% denser than natural water
< Kizul> But is it safe to drink?
< loudaslife> Not even remotely

#10254 (+23/-2)
< seven> I've played at LANs where I've had so much fun getting in the heads of the opponents. One LAN, it was a national rematch in Team Fortress. Our team hadn't played together for a while. The people we beat in the national comp the year before were highly practiced. We'd all travelled to this LAN comp to face off in a rematch. And, a few minutes in to the game, we were spanking them again. In
< seven> particular, I was playing as defensive sniper and picking them apart like the first time. As I killed them, I heard swearing each time. So I stayed in my spot once they started to avoid me
< seven> got up out of my chair, walked over to where their team was, watched their players, found the guys playing attack.
< seven> And said "hey I know where that dickhead sniper is"
< seven> and guided him to kill me.
< seven> then congratulated him and introduced myself.
< seven> that kind of, broke that guys spirit, I went back to shooting him in the head
< seven> and he dropped, he didn't just stop playing. He packed up his machine. And he left.
< seven> then we won. thanks to numbers :P

#10253 (+23/-2)
< WassPord> "Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Ted Cruz are on a plane. The plane crashes. Who survives?"
< Oracle989> WassPord: America
< Bucket> FUCK YEAH
< WassPord> Man, this was a perfect bucket response xD
< Oracle989> Bucket's been on fire tonight

#10251 (+6/-4)
<alexxerth> If the Oculus Rift had smell-capabilities, it'd be an Oculus Sniff
<cask> Boo.
<@creature> alexxerth: Or an Oculus Whiff.
<@creature> Oculus Whiffed.
<BytesAndCoffee> oculus sift: a VR baking game
<alexxerth> Oculus Shift: a VR racing game
<alexxerth> Oculus Cliff: a VR climbing game
<alexxerth> Oculus Stiff: a VR sex game
<Kizul> Oculus Miff: a VR simulation that makes you angry
<alexxerth> Oculus Grift: a VR scamming game
<Kizul> Oculus Tiff: a VR argument.
<alexxerth> Oculus Yiff: a...nevermind
<BytesAndCoffee> Oculus Gift: a VR party game
<Kizul> Oculus Biff: a VR bullying game
<alexxerth> Oculus Lift: a VR warehouse-working game
<alexxerth> or a VR gym game
<Kizul> Oculus Spliff: a VR... duuuuuuuuuude.... -- wait, what?
<thomas> oculus ripped: a bodybuilding sim
<Kizul> I thought it'd be a British VR version of Elevator Action
<thomas> or how about oculus gift
<BytesAndCoffee> Oculus Gift: a VR party game
<@creature> An Oculus Ripped is what you get if you take your friend's Oculus Rift and make your own copy in a CD-R burner.
<alexxerth> Nah, that's an Oculus Thrift
<Kizul> No, that's when you get an Oculus used, for a really cheap price
<scgtrp> oculus redshift: like an oculus rift, but moving away from the sun really fast
<alexxerth> If the Oculus Rift had smell-capabilities, it'd be an Oculus Sniff
<BytesAndCoffee> Sniffed
<cask> If you steal someone's Oculus, it becomes an Oculus Grift.
<cask> The person you steal from might be Oculus Miffed.
<alexxerth> If you stole it by tricking him, it'd be an Oculus Grift
<scgtrp> but what if you stole it from a store?
<scgtrp> it'd be an oculus shoplift
<thomas> if you play a racing game with it, it becomes an oculus drift
<scgtrp> thomas: if you attach buttons to the side to switch gear ratios, it becomes an oculus shift
<thomas> if you overclock it, it starts to go oculus swift
<scgtrp> if you use it to compare text files, they'll be oculus diffed
<thomas> on the other hand, if you use it to sort real life objects it'd be an oculus sift
<cask> If you spend a lot of money on it, it's an Oculus Thrift.
<thomas> if you were on a desert island with only an oculus, you'd be adrift
<scgtrp> if you play guitar hero on it, it's an oculus riff
<thomas> if you wear it with a suit, it's an oculus spiff
<BytesAndCoffee> if you turn it into a green alien that works with a dumb, arrogant, idiotic space "pilot", its Oculus Kiff'd
<thomas> if you die while using it, that makes you an oculus stiff
<scgtrp> if you put scent emitters on it, you'd get an oculus whiff
<BytesAndCoffee> if you take it to a film festival in the capital city of Ontario, its Oculus TIFF
<scgtrp> if you display animated 256-color images in it, they're oculus GIFs
<alexxerth> what hell hath I unleashed
<scgtrp> just be sure to watch where you're going
<scgtrp> you wouldn't want to walk off an oculus cliff
<thomas> but if you lather it in peanut butter it becomes an oculus JIF
<scgtrp> and with that, i'm done
<BytesAndCoffee> alexxerth: the Oculus Rift has opened
<alexxerth> BytesAndCoffee++
<thomas> if it comes with ancient runes instead of buttons, don't worry
<thomas> that's just the oculus glyph
<thomas> I think I'm out too
<scgtrp> no, wait, i'm not done
<thomas> my pace has slowed to an oculus drip
<scgtrp> if you put it on a half-eagle half-horse mythical creature, you now have an oculus hippogriff
<scgtrp> okay, that's all

<scgtrp> wait, one more!
<scgtrp> if you use it while suing someone, you're an oculus plantiff

#10249 (+16/-0)
* seven gives Bucket an inch
* Bucket takes a mile.
* uberushaximus gives Bucket 8 inches
* Bucket is now carrying 8 inches, but dropped penis enlargement spam.

#10244 (+7/-3)
< alexxerthmobile> it automatically saves when you fuck
< alexxerthmobile> *dick
< alexxerthmobile> sigh
< alexxerthmobile> dock
< BytesAndCoffee> Bucket: re,e,ber a;l...
< Bucket> Ha ha, I know!

#10243 (+10/-0)
<Oracle989> I feel like my rights are being violated
<Oracle989> But it's for a contract job so I guess I should get used to that if I get hired
<julian> Oracle989: Heh
<Oracle989> I always see job requirements that are absurdly specific
<Oracle989> "Must have 5+ years in extruded medical tubing"
* Kliment stuffs Oracle989 in extruded medical tubing, waits 5 years
<Oracle989> Kliment: That'd be great, make up experience to get an on-site interview then show up in a large extruded tube saying you've spent 5 years in it
<Oracle989> You wouldn't get the job, but still
<Kliment> I'm off to sleep (not in an extruded tube), laters

#10242 (+6/-1)
<@zetlen> uh i might get to go to san jose?
<@mewyn> :o we can have beers if you go to san jose!
<@mewyn> Do you know the way?
<+Bucket> No, but if you hum a few bars I can fake it

#10241 (+12/-0)
<CO2> bucket: build something
* Bucket builds a pile of dirt and places distended anus on top
<CO2> uh
<Jax184> it's a metaphor for the Trump presidency

#10240 (+9/-0)
<@relsqui> note of the day:
<@relsqui> you can lead a horse to operational security but you can't keep it from dropping passwords in channel
<@Shrdlu> if I had any follow-through, I'd write a client plugin that rejects any line containing an N-character substring that hashes to H
<@Shrdlu> for appropriate values
<@relsqui> Shrdlu: just replace it with ***** in the line
<@relsqui> and then for best results set your password to swears I guess?
<@Shrdlu> or hunter2
<@Shrdlu> for double bonus points you could leave it the same in the local echo
<@Shrdlu> and, finally, install this on your coworker's machine when they leave it unlocked
<@Shrdlu> play the long game

#10239 (+13/-0)
<Oracle989> My boat sank into boiling water and I have no idea how to fix this
<Hobz> Like, a literal boat?
<Oracle989> Hobz: Yes
<Oracle989> Made of paper
<Oracle989> But a boat
<Hobz> Well
<Hobz> There's your problem

#10237 (+26/-0)
<Shuet> Look we can talk about anything but you have to accept that some of us are going to be bringing up dolphin sex sometimes

#10236 (+11/-1)
< TheGoodDayMan> I love theory of probability
< TheGoodDayMan> The book literally has random numbers
< alexxerth> how random
< bhuddah> quantifying randomness is pretty hard.
< alexxerth> how hard

#10234 (+13/-2)
* Rena gives Bucket a sweet-ass ass assassin.
< Bucket> gives Bucket a sweet ass-ass assassin.
< Rena> wat

#10233 (+5/-1)
<mrkman> think ive seen pp a couple times
<mrkman> but bari sax, they dont really do quiet
<mrkman> they do loud, louder, and the girls sitting in front of me just came due to their chairs vibrating

#10232 (+9/-1)
< Martin> I still don't know what tumblr is.
<@barometz> lotta people talking
<@barometz> lotta people reading
< Bucket> http://lottapeoplereading.tumblr.com/

#10229 (+11/-0)
< Bucket> Sony uses the xkcd method of random number generation.
< sammi> int getRandomNumber() { return 4; } lololol
< djh> chosen by fair dive roll
< djh> dice*
< taixzo> I like "fair dive roll" better
< taixzo> it calls to mind a team of gymnasts hired to produce random numbers from judges' scores

#10228 (+7/-0)
<alexxerth> mhmmhmhmmhphrmmmmhrmmrmmhr
<alexxerth> For some reason I felt compelled to type like that cause my mouth was full
<cask> Do you type with your tongue, usually?

#10226 (+14/-25)
< jbakid> oh is cussing allowed here btw?
< nobody> fuck no
< jbakid> oh shit. i won't fucking cuss then.

#10225 (+8/-2)
* Wings sets mode -v Wings
-moderator/#xkcd-signal- Wings, you have been muted for 4 minutes 16 seconds.
* moderator removes voice from Wings

#10224 (+30/-0)
< Kliment> relsqui: That reminds me, what do you get when a high-ranking military official gets assassinated despite his armed escort?
<@relsqui> Kliment: ... world war one?
< Kliment> relsqui: General protection fault!
< Kliment> relsqui: But I like your answer

#10223 (+14/-0)
< Martin> Long story short, I found myself in the akward situation of havinng to explain tentancle porn.
< alexx> that reminds me
< Bucket> * alexx removes pants

#10222 (+7/-3)
<@ephphatha> never read youtube comments
<BytesAndCoffee> im into masochism, sue me

#10221 (+40/-1)
<alexxerthmobile> oo
<alexxerth> Wait where's my phone how is it doing this
<alexxerthmobile> ooooopppp
<alexxerthmobile> ppppp
<alexxerth> I can't find my phone
<alexxerth> Or what is causing it to type
<alexxerthmobile> pppooo
<alexxerthmobile> iooppp
<Tattoo> alexxerthmobile: maybe close your irc now please?
<alexxerth> I can't find the phone
<Tattoo> maybe somebody can then kick alexxerthmobile off?
<shambrarian> alexxerth: call it?
<alexxerth> Yeah somebody kick alexxerthmobile
<alexxerth> wait the highlights I can hear them!
<alexxerth> alexxerthmobile
<alexxerth> can somebody highlight me in about 15 seconds
<taixzo> which you
<alexxerth> well not me, but alexxerthmobile
*** alexxerthmobile was kicked by barometz (stop butt dialing IRC)
<Bucket> Someone was clogging up the tubes!
<bassgoon> haha
<taixzo> alexxerth: nope :P
<alexxerth> now I can't find it
<barometz> you will

<alexxerth> oh uh...what...
<alexxerth> how in the fuck
<alexxerth> roomba just gave me my phone
<barometz> gooooood
<barometz> that is probably the best possible outcome
<alexxerth> This leaves so many questions unanswered, and raises even more

#10220 (+6/-3)
<alexxerth> torncolours: You can never leave
* torncolours (torncolour@218062AC.24BA3C8B.DCC02241.IP) has left

#10218 (+8/-2)
* Deadbug jumps off a cliff
-!- Deadbug [Deadbug@hide-D6E416B1.ptld.qwest.net] has quit [Quit: http://www.kiwiirc.com/ - A hand crafted IRC client]
< iirelu> oh no, i killed deadbug
< iirelu> wait

#10217 (+2/-2)
< Oracle989> Underworld is basically just a vehicle to film several hours of Kate Beckinsale in latex and pleather, right?
<@bk> essentially, yes
< Oracle989> I'm okay with that

#10216 (+19/-0)
Sepet: bucket, break something
Bucket: +++ATH0

taixzo: good to see everyone here is using up-to-date routers

#10215 (+23/-2)
< alexxerthmobile> Hmm, my connection is rough
< alexxerthmobile> I'm under a mountain
< alexxerthmobile> A fake mountain
<@relsqui> are you at disneyworld?
< alexxerthmobile> Yes
< alexxerthmobile> Some seven dwarves mountain ride
< Science> Seven Dwarves Mine Train
<@relsqui> wait
<@relsqui> you are actually kidding, right?
< alexxerthmobile> No
<@relsqui> what

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