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#10072 (+6/-1)
<@schwal> ...
<Bucket> [Meanwhile, in puddle's pants ...]
<puddle> http://cuteanimalsonline.com/img/my-cat-hiding-in-my-pants-leg.jpeg
<@schwal> puddle: well played

#10071 (+1/-1)
<IceKarma> jercos, you know, you sound dangerously close to denying that other workflows are possible, so I'm gonna assume you're trolling now =P
<jercos> IceKarma: the line between trolling and idealism is ever fine ;)
<barometz> only because we haven't had to repaint it lately

#10070 (+4/-3)
<Bucket> So is Reddit though.
<Coast> Bucket, what was that
<Bucket> Coast: That was 'So' (#155266): is Reddit though.
<barometz> Bucket: forget that
<Bucket> Okay, barometz, forgot that So is Reddit though.
<arble> guess reddit isn't, after all

#10069 (+2/-3)
*** Froward (ebola@hide-CB925922.hsd1.md.comcast.net) has joined channel #xkcd
<tonyb> what happened to your second d, Froward?
<Froward> tonyb~ I gave it to ur mum last nite

#10068 (+8/-2)
<alexxerth> One day somebody's going to accidentally invent a sentient AI and it'll just be stuck doing some menial task
<alexxerth> Beware
<Bucket> I hunger.

#10065 (+3/-2)
<@schwal> Stereo: Toyota officially says the plural is Prii
<Jonathan> Priusses
<Jonathan> Sounds like a disease
<@barometz> schwal: well they're wrong >_>
<Jonathan> you get from playing an oboe in a vacuum

#10064 (+6/-4)
»» Bucket drops a lot of context and takes Ranzear's pants.

#10062 (+2/-5)
<Bucket> Mitt Romney is a poopyhead
<snark> that's rather an unsophisticated factoid. On the other hand, Mitt Romney *is* a poopyhead.

#10061 (+7/-4)
<binky> I downloaded a subtitle file for a movie i don't own
<binky> is that legal?
<Bucket> It is in the country it was filmed.
<binky> oh

#10060 (+2/-4)
<coxj2000> i have some groundbreaking news
<coxj2000> I figured out what my type is
<coxj2000> no-shit
<@Stereo> int?
<djh> string?
<BytesAndCoffee> int?
<@schwal> O negative?
<Bucket> Just my type!

#10059 (+3/-7)
tomatosalad: My metabolism is like an SR-71
bhuddah: leaky on the ground?
schwal: replaced by spy satelites?
* schwal high-fives bhuddah
Bucket: Was that a haiku?

#10058 (+4/-5)
< alexxerth> My laptops fan started clicking recently
< alexxerth> It's really annoying
< alexxerth> It sounds like somethings stuck in it, but no amount of hitting my laptop fixed it
< Slothrop> Computers hit back now.
< Slothrop> Beware.
< Bucket> I live.

#10057 (+8/-3)
ElectronicRU: I never got it why do people hate Comic Sans so much
rtmiu: ikr
Lisimba: It's overused by stupid fliers and stuff like that.
Jonathan: It's a "low effort typeface" or something. Oh, also for april fools Wikipedia should change their sitewide font to comic sans. The mental breakdowns of overreligious purists would be amusing
Lisimba: It's like... it says "I want to look whimsical and informal!" and then they fail at that in a groany way.

Ranzear: Bucket, start an argument
Bucket: <Spork> You know, I really think that Comic Sans would look better with serifs.
The0x539: ...

#10056 (+10/-4)
<Oracle989> This permit to enter Canada asks for my "appearance"
<Oracle989> What does that mean?
<Bucket> It means you shall not pass.

#10055 (+2/-3)
Rockyfelle: I made ram without knowing how it works. -. And cpu
geekahedron: I made a ram once without knowing how
Rockyfelle: Yeah it's easy
geekahedron: it didn't even work on my bedroom door
Rockyfelle: .wut
geekahedron: so the whole storming the castle thing was kinda out
Rockyfelle: Lolol
mrkman: remember the spiky bits are mostly for show
djh: I made a ram once.. you cannot trust ewes
@IceKarma: djh, ... kinky
Bubo: djh; dammit, I was gonna make that joke
djh: Bubo: You must be a mutton for punishment
geekahedron: that's what I started to go with, but the direction it was taking made me a little sheepish
Seppy: djh: your jokes are making me feel a bit sheepish
djh: yeah, it herd me a little too
Seppy: maybe I'm just udder the weather.
cnf: :P
djh: I wooldn't be surprised
Bubo: this is getting baad
geekahedron: the jokes just keep coming, and I have to keep guessing wooly make another one
cnf: Seppy: feeling something drip?
Bubo: Seppy; you mean the Wether?
geekahedron: maybe we're just bleating a dead topic
djh: I lamb-ent ever starting it
geekahedron: it's an exhibition of shear persistence
Seppy: ohh, excellent, I missed that one, shear-ly there's no more.
geekahedron: there can't be too many more before someone fleece the room
Seppy: yeah, it is quite a horny subject.

#10054 (+6/-0)
< XMPPwocky> en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Amazon_delivery_drone_prison_escapes
<@shoofle> XMPPwocky: doesn't exist <_<
< XMPPwocky> not yet

#10053 (+4/-0)
binky: contrary to popular belief it is not actually possible to take photographs with a potato
binky: I tried.
Bucket: And it didn't work!
ephphatha: in kindy I made pictures with a potato, does that count?
ephphatha: well, really I made a potato stamp
ephphatha: so probably not
Stereo: ok so there's presumably some chemical that can transfer from a negative to a potato stamp...
djh: Yes, it's called "water" :P
Bucket: stereo's factoids are always true.

#10052 (+2/-3)
arble: \o/
Branes hands arble the antiperspirant
arble: ~\o/~

#10051 (+6/-0)
<@Akrasia> this rock candy is bubblegum flavored
<~snark> that's an interesting coincidence because the gum I'm chewing tastes like schist

#10050 (+0/-5)
<Ranzear> Spoiler-free assertions about the physics of Interstellar before I watch it?
<+arble> inaccurate
<Ranzear> That is probably correct.
<+arble> try to spot the ontological paradox
<Ranzear> Like, unintended paradox?
<Ranzear> arble: No really, is there something fun to catch?
<Ranzear> Or is that just part of the film?
<Ranzear> Or are you yanking my chain.
<Ranzear> Or are you actually a seal-point kitten trapsed across his keyboard?
<@Stereo> maybe we all are
<feriority> what if we're all just kittens in jars

#10049 (+11/-0)
<@Akrasia> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_helicopter_prison_escapes
<@Akrasia> i'm just gonna leave this here
< feriority> oh wow those little success/failure icons
< feriority> I'm glad they have a key
<@Akrasia> haha i know right
<@Akrasia> it makes me so happy that this exists
<@Akrasia> nevermind how long the page is
<@Akrasia> This list is incomplete; you can help by expanding it.
<@Akrasia> Anyone know someone who's in jail?

#10048 (+4/-3)
<ElectronicRU> nearly a haiku
<Ranzear> How long must a haiku be?
<rtmiu> 5 7 5
»» Ranzear slaps rtmiu
<rtmiu> fuck
<rtmiu> i didn't notice :(

#10047 (+2/-3)
< Stereo> > On the season one DVD boxset, there is a bonus where this episode played out as normal with the character of Sterling Archer being replaced by a velociraptor replacing Archer's dialogue with appropriate dinosaur noises.
< Stereo> well that makes sense
<@Akrasia> i would watch most tv shows altered in that way
<@Akrasia> House springs to mind

#10046 (+0/-3)
<alSeen> cnf, they are nice
<cnf> alSeen: my testicles?
<alSeen> vasectomies
<cnf> oh, right

#10045 (+2/-5)
< CO2> huh, the british police is starting an investigation to see if Clarkson hitting that guy counts as a criminal offense
< CO2> wait. British. I mean 'offence'

#10044 (+7/-0)
< Slothrop> My worst memory of libraries came when I was 8 years old and decided to join a Chess club that met there
< Slothrop> I got totally wrecked by a 35 year old guy
< Slothrop> I wish I could find him now to exact my revenge
<@Stereo> did he have 6 fingers on his left hand
< Slothrop> Stereo: You know him, then?

#10042 (+2/-3)
<bassgoon> vasectomy is the way to go, right?
<punkymonkey> My bf doesn't want to do that since it increases your risk of getting prostate cancer or something
<bassgoon> does it really?
<Bucket> Only if you press hard.

#10041 (+7/-0)
<CO2> If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
<CO2> full poem http://web.mit.edu/adorai/www/seuss-technical-writing.html
<Branes> CO2: I have a #xkcd version of that Seussian rhyme.
<Branes> If a packet hits the socket of a Bucket on our port, and reply is then forgotten as a very bad retort, don't change the topic quickly or the goat-kick you will court, then the admins of the chan 'll make your IRC abort.

#10039 (+1/-3)
<tomatosalad> Michael Bay directed the music video for "I Touch Myself"
<tomatosalad> LOLOLOL
<Bucket> ... and then he takes an industrial pickle and shoves it down his pants!

#10038 (+6/-0)
dingbat: Are there any common corvid dishes?
binky: dingbat: Mag Pie.

#10037 (+3/-7)
<~snark> I think not
-!- snark [snark@hide-C84673EC.jetstream.xtra.co.nz] has quit [Quit: existential error]

#10036 (+8/-4)
< Mattnpat> Oh, sorry.
< Mattnpat> I thought you were Bucket.
< binky> I get that a lot
< Bucket> I get that even more!

#10035 (+6/-4)
< Bubo> oh theres a solar eclipse?
< Bubo> I can't tell cause it's dark
< Bubo> wait

#10033 (+14/-4)
< Cheez> People ask me what I want to be doing in 5 years, but I don't have 2020 vision.
<@schwal> ...
* Vorthon puts Cheez in the shame cube.
< Cheez> :(
< Cheez> what IS the shame cube?
< XMPPwocky> it's like a game cube but shamier
< Cheez> ahh, a sega saturn.

#10032 (+1/-7)
<Ranzear> ferret, ramen or horrorshow?
<flyingferret> Neither.
<Ranzear> Uh, ferret, I'm a college student.
<Ranzear> ferret, ramen or horrorshow?
<flyingferret> That sounds too important to trust to a bot.
<Ranzear> :O
<Ranzear> ferret, chorizo?
<flyingferret> No way.
<Ranzear> ferret wants me to starve.
<ElectronicRU> ferret, should Coast ditch classes to watch eclipse?
<flyingferret> Definitely.
<Ranzear> ferret, corned beef hash?
<flyingferret> Certainly not.
<ElectronicRU> Sapienti sati.
<Ranzear> This is now comical.
<ElectronicRU> ferret, is this comical?
<flyingferret> Call me, maybe.
<Ranzear> ferret, mire poix lentil soup?
<flyingferret> Indubitably.
<ten> flyingferret: yes, no, or maybe?
<flyingferret> maybe
<Ranzear> ferret, you're really going to make me cook for that long when I'm this hungry?
<flyingferret> Nope.
<Coast> ElectronicRU, why ditch classes
<Ranzear> Chorizo it is!

#10031 (+3/-4)
<Thaoh> I want to feel the carbonation ripping through my throat, I don't want no wimpy soda that tries to hide the CO2. Nor do I want any of those non-sugar sweeteners that has an aftertaste that makes me want to puke
<CO2> Thaoh: did you just offer me a blow-job?

#10030 (+11/-2)
< alexxerth> One of my friend's parents own an orchard
< alexxerth> They were telling me all about it one day
< alexxerth> They have really interesting machinery for harvesting
< alexxerth> But the most interesting part was when they told me about starting it in the first place
< alexxerth> They said that you usually have to buy or rent bees in order to help with pollination in the early growth of the orchard
< alexxerth> But the people who sold them the trees were friends with a beekeeper, so they managed to package them in and get the bees for no extra charge
< alexxerth> They were free bees

#10029 (+28/-6)
<@snark> I am capable of advanced speech recognition
< phobiac> okay snark, what's the weather like?
<@snark> yup, someone is definitely talking to me right now

#10028 (+6/-6)
<@snark> you can't divide 0 by something, the universe will explode
<@snark> I may not be good at math but I know that much
< Neil_With_It> snark: I can't actually tell if you're joking
<@snark> I get that a lot
< Bucket> I get that even more!
<@snark> bucket does get that even more

#10027 (+5/-6)
<Ranzear> Bucket, Space is a vaccum!
<Bucket> Ranzear: Your mom is a vaccum!
<Ranzear> Bucket has rejected my reference.
<Ranzear> And laid down a sick burn as well.

#10026 (+16/-0)
* IceKarma mutters and grumbles about having to change her IP addresses in entirely too many places
<rabe> IceKarma, you need a dns server^^
<IceKarma> rabe, I run two >.>
<rabe> then just change it there?
<IceKarma> and all the other places
<IceKarma> for example several places in /etc
<Gyph> why not do a sed?
<Stereo> s/128/77/g
<rabe> hmmm
<rabe> rm -rf /etc
<rabe> problem solved
<Bucket> 7233 new problems detected
<rabe> that too

#10025 (+2/-12)
-!- coxj2000 [~chatzilla@28B00578.92666C39.BFFF5B0E.IP] has joined #xkcd
< coxj2000> I HAVE AN EMBARRASSING PROBLEM IN WHICH MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS FROZEN. HELP WOULD BE APPRECIATED.
-!- mode/#xkcd [+b *!~chatzilla@*.92666C39.BFFF5B0E.IP] by billygoat
-!- coxj2000 was kicked from #xkcd by billygoat [5-minute autokill]

#10024 (+15/-1)
<alexxerth> I mentally separate sodas into two categories: Clear sodas and dark sodas. Clear sodas are like sprite, orange soda, gingerale, etc (stuff that's mostly transparent), and dark sodas are like coke, root beer, or dr. pepper.
<Lisimba> So you're a soda segregrationist.
<Oracle989> Sodapartheid

#10023 (+8/-8)
<~snark> I wonder if you could store an LP on an LP
<@Akrasia> yes.
<~snark> a quick google suggests that a vinyl record can hold about 150 MB
<@Akrasia> which is more than enough for a 5 minute super mario bros speedrun

#10018 (+7/-14)
<CO2_phone> People are weird
<relsqui> when you're a weirder

#10016 (+7/-12)
<Vulpes> Bucket, invent something
* Bucket combines a woman's virginity and Dextralus' gigantic throbbing bratwurst, but they're incompatible! A blinding explosion follows!

#10015 (+15/-9)
<snark> I kind of want to have a closet that I just keep all my bottled water in
<snark> the payoff would never come because guests never ever ask where the "water closet" is
<Stereo> you could keep all your strangely specific Firefly memorabilia in another closet
<snark> that itself is strangely specific
<Stereo> well, in case they ask about the Wash room

#10014 (+11/-10)
<CO2> what's the word
<CO2> when you can't pay your debts
<arble> insolvent
<CO2> and a company hires another company to start annoying you until you pay up
<CO2> they send letters, increasing the price every time
<arble> debt collection
<CO2> and then they start sending people
<arble> bailiffs
<CO2> yeah

#10013 (+4/-10)
* WassPord headdesks
* Bucket wallnoses
* WassPord buttchairs
* jglauche facepalms
* Bucket chairsits
* thomas0comer couchsprawls
* XMPPwocky tonguetables
* SpicyLemon elbowforeheads

#10012 (+22/-0)
<Coast> It's awful just how easy it is to use bits of an interview, study, or any scientific paper and make the point you want to make, regardless of what the people you are quoting actually said
<Coast> like people who (still) deny climate change
<alexxerth> "I...like people who (still) deny climate change" - Coast

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