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#10198 (+6/-0)
<Unbibium> speaking of lim, is there any reason for me to learn calculus if I don't have to?
<taixzo> Unbibium: best reason to learn calculus is in case you get stuck on a desert island with a NASA VAB and a bunch of rocket parts
<taixzo> sure, there are more *useful* reasons to learn calculus, but that one's the *best*

#10197 (+2/-0)
<@barometz> There's a material-based reason for the name duck tape, as well
<@barometz> (duck being a kind of material, a sort of cloth)
<@barometz> (I tend to go with ductape which is probably a brand somewhere? but it's a nice mash)
<@schwal> barometz: I am now picturing a confused gorilla in a heating system.
<@barometz> yeah, that weird knocking sound you hear from the vents some times?
<@barometz> apes.
<@schwal> It makes so much sense!

#10196 (+8/-1)
< Taelia_> That would give AI a very large advantage.
< Walther> Taelia_: exactly
< Bucket> That's been my experience.

#10195 (+3/-1)
<BytesandCoffee> oh my god
<Bucket> Holy CPU, Batman!
<BytesandCoffee> i did it
<BytesandCoffee> https://github.com/BytesAndCoffee/QuadShot/tree/stable
<BytesandCoffee> yes, holy CPU indeed
<BytesandCoffee> i added a new feature to my CPU

#10194 (+5/-0)
< alexxerth> Side note: Don't listen to anything I say
<@relsqui> Bucket: remember alexxerth note
< Bucket> Sorry, relsqui, I don't remember what alexxerth said about 'note'.

#10193 (+9/-0)
<alexxerth> what the fuck
<alexxerth> I tried deleting my save in this game...three times
<alexxerth> It didn't do anything
<alexxerth> Then the fourth time it popped up a little loading bar
<alexxerth> That was at roughly 4000%
<alexxerth> and counted down to 98%
<alexxerth> And is now just stuck at 98%
<WassPord> haha :D what game ?
<alexxerth> Shoppe Keep

<alexxerth> Hmm
<alexxerth> Well the loading bar went down to 84%
<alexxerth> ...then started going up
<alexxerth> and when it reached 102%, it crashed
<alexxerth> I uh...
<alexxerth> I'm gonna just close the game for now

#10192 (+13/-1)
<Sobsz> <3 enw
<Sobsz> <3 enw
<Sobsz> <3 enw
<Sobsz> <3 enw
<Sobsz> <3 enw
<Sobsz> <3 enw
<Sobsz> <3 enw
<Sobsz> <3 enw
<Sobsz> <3 enw
<Sobsz> <3 enw
<Sobsz> <3 enw
<Sobsz> <3 enw
<Sobsz> <3 enw
<Sobsz> <3 enw
<Sobsz> <3 enw
<alexxerth> Quality content
<-rotaredom/#xkcd-noise-> alexxerth, you have been muted for 2 seconds.

#10191 (+6/-1)
<alexxerth> nobody: You showed up while I was playing undertale
<nobody> was it good for you?
<alexxerth> Nah, though it said "but nobody came"
<nobody> well at least it was good for me

#10190 (+11/-0)
<@barometz> I should've set up a camera before moving these plants in. They come back from their furled up, dying, frozen state real quick
<@barometz> they probably feigned illness to get me to move them inside
< arble> you are a friend to plants
<@barometz> curious evolutionary path
< arble> they're freeloading off your carbon dioxide now
< arble> and filling your room with oxygen, a dangerous element linked to arson and chemical burns

#10188 (+12/-1)
<BytesAndCoffee> a single spinach
<BytesAndCoffee> thats like getting herpe
<BytesAndCoffee> not herpes
<BytesAndCoffee> just one, a single herpe
<Oracle989> One spinach
<Oracle989> Seriously though spinach and banana pepper pizza life
<GreenWolf> one single, solitary spinach
<BlueDragon> All alone
* BytesAndCoffee lays a single leaf of spinach in the centre of a pizza before putting it in the oven
<BlueDragon> byootiful
<Oracle989> That plating
<BlueDragon> IRC's next top chef
<Oracle989> Iron Denizen
<BytesAndCoffee> with your host, Randall Munroe
<BytesAndCoffee> wait
<BytesAndCoffee> no
<BytesAndCoffee> he's the japanese guy who lifts the cover from the secret ingredient
<loudaslife> Today's Secret Ingredient is?
<BytesAndCoffee> the host is an op
<BlueDragon> loudaslife: A spinach.
<BytesAndCoffee> loudaslife: CPUs
<BytesAndCoffee> spinach-powered CPUs?
<BlueDragon> The Popeye CPU
<loudaslife> Also, instead of pots and pans, the only cookware you can use to prepare food is buckets
<BytesAndCoffee> and an Olive GPU
<GreenWolf> the host would be goat, of course
<GreenWolf> goat or bucket
<loudaslife> he kicks whoever loses
<BytesAndCoffee> loudaslife: *cutthroat kitchen intensifies*

#10187 (+12/-1)
< alexxerthmobile> guy chi :P boo go go go go :P l.p. L.p. OllI
< alexxerth> The fuck
< taixzo> alexxerth: what did you just do
< alexxerth> I sat on my phone while the screen was on the irc and my butt typed in that
< taixzo> hahaha
< taixzo> your butt sounds like a middle schooler

#10186 (+8/-1)
< Bucket> Humans are just animals with fancy tools.
< CO2> this is true
* Bucket takes notes.
<@relsqui> basically yes
< CO2> wanna see my 'fancy tool' ?
<@barometz> many animals also have that one
<@barometz> you're not that fancy ;D
< CO2> awww
< CO2> mine looks fabulous, though :P
< taixzo> CO2: dress it up in a tux
< CO2> lol
< taixzo> that'll make it a bit fancier
< CO2> taixzo: I don't think we need any more dicks in fancy suits anymore, there's plenty of them in parliament.

#10185 (+3/-6)
<Bucket> Life is to nachos as MacGyver is to awesome.
<Buckley> that makes no sense
<Bucket> Your face makes no sense.
<Buckley> shut up, Bucket
<Bucket> Okay, Buckley - be back in a bit!
<Buckley> I win this time

#10184 (+3/-5)
< Hobz> Oh, look, cats!
< CO2> Cats are a myth.
< alexxerth> I've never seen one
< Vulpes> alexxerth, I've seen something that's supposedly a cat
< Vulpes> but how should I know what it is?
< Xenon-the-go> I'm pretty sure my cat is real
< CO2> I've seen supposed pictures of supposed cats
< Xenon-the-go> And that its a cat
< Vulpes> is anything really the thing it is?
< bassgoon> does anyone really know what time it is?
< CO2> I mean
< Bucket> You mean. I kind.
< CO2> you can say it's a cat
< CO2> but what defines it as a cat
< taixzo> pointy ears and a tail
< CO2> what's the ESSENCE of the cat? Can you distill it?
< taixzo> ^ manx are therefore not cats
< CO2> taixzo: dude that makes half of #xkcd cats

#10183 (+13/-0)
< alexxerth> I'm playing twitch plays undertale
< alexxerth> But I'm the only one doing anything
< alexxerth> I'm just playing undertale with a huge delay

#10182 (+17/-0)
<alexxerth> My dad told me to take my jacket off in the house
<alexxerth> So I took the jacket off, and there was just the identical jacket underneath
<alexxerth> And he stared for a second
<alexxerth> And then sighed and just walked off

#10181 (+20/-0)
< XMPPwocky> unexpected physics demonstration: want hot chocolate. microwave milk
< XMPPwocky> forget about it. come back, milk's foamed over a bit, eh, whatever. put hot chocolate mix in and it's some elephant toothpaste BS
< XMPPwocky> all over the cabinets
< XMPPwocky> just instantly flashes into foam
< Hg> XMPPwocky: you inadvertently created a choco-bomb for reals?
< Kliment> XMPPwocky: A lesson in superheating and cavitation sites
< XMPPwocky> i knew water could do that but i never suspected milk
< Kliment> XMPPwocky: Milk is more likely to do it because the fat holds it together more
< Kliment> XMPPwocky: Solution is to introduce cavitation sites before heating
< Kliment> XMPPwocky: That is, mix a bit of the powder in first

< XMPPwocky> anyways if you ever want a very aggressive latte

#10180 (+17/-0)
< CO2> "finance and physics is a good match. Both make complex mathematical models that don't have anything to do with normal human reality"
<@Stereo> well, that's cause you can't get grants to study the well-known simple ones
<@Stereo> "i wanna take a real good look at f=ma, really get a handle on it" "no"

#10179 (+15/-0)
< taixzo> rms would be disappointed in almost everyone in the world
< rabe> true
< bassgoon> root mean square?
< bassgoon> risk management system?
< bassgoon> rhabdomyosarcoma?
< kitten> really mean squids
< Alexey_Nigin> Bucket, RMS
< Bucket> RMS is Richard Motherfucking Stallman

#10178 (+6/-2)
taixzo> I just find the pronunciation of "faux" rediculous
<CO2> taixzo: it's FRENCH
<DeckTheSchwals> taixzo: blame the French
<IceKarma> taixzo, it's French

#10177 (+5/-0)
< stillinbeta> I'm taking some corporate training on my laptop
< stillinbeta> and just when I clicked start I got a Steam notification
< stillinbeta> and for a second I thought "oh cool, cheevos"
<@relsqui> hahaha
<@relsqui> you got a Diversity Sensitivity card!
< stillinbeta> relsqui: this is corporate code of conduct
< stillinbeta> so if that diversity sensitivity card is worth more than $150 I can't accept it

#10176 (+9/-0)
<CO2> if a camel is the Ship Of The Desert
< CO2> does that mean that if a desert country has camel-riding troops, that's their navy?
<@schwal> No, that's their camelry.

#10175 (+16/-0)
<CO2> some store opened in amsterdam, selling "immaterial needs", such as a bag of frustration, a listening ear, or a second chance.
<CO2> made by Real Artists
<curtmack> I like to imagine that if you buy a second chance, later that evening a bag descends over your head and a needle enters your neck
<curtmack> Hours later, you wake up in a different house, with new clothes, someone else's ID in your wallet, and a college degree

#10173 (+18/-0)
< puddle> "It is a tradition for the oldest cardinal to step onto the balcony above St. Peter's Square and annouce 'Habemus papam', which means 'We have a new pope.' And so we have finally decided on [looks down at a card] 'Twitch Plays Catholic Church.'"

#10170 (+12/-0)
<CO2> I want to live forever, with no pain whatsoever, owning vast personal property plus a company of nubiles.
<Carr> CO2, sounds like something regular expressions can handle
<bassgoon> Carr, wait, what?
<Carr> bassgoon, just read the documentation already

#10169 (+5/-0)
<qkombur> HR writing dev jobs are funny
<qkombur> these guys want HTML4 experience
<BytesAndCoffee> qkombur: "Must have 10yrs exp in HTML6"
<qkombur> must have lamp expierence and know how to set up apache mysql on linux os with php
<BytesAndCoffee> and then another HR rep says to the one that wrote that:
<BytesAndCoffee> "No, its HTTP6"
<qkombur> good catch
<qkombur> add on 3 years of es6 and you should be good to go
<qkombur> all of that is for a junior position as well
<BytesAndCoffee> qkombur: don't forget that they need to be able to write a GUI in VB to track the hackers using IRC to sell methijuana

#10168 (+6/-0)
< BlackFox> Manned Soyuz launch to ISS
< BlackFox> the video went a bit funny when third stage was starting up
< BlackFox> because the hot plumes tend to isolate radiowaves
< Eule> uh
< Eule> we have more-or-less live video, from a rocket, going to either Russia or satellites, then down to the ground, then across the atlantic freakin' ocean
< Eule> it's allowed to fuzz out
< Eule> when I was a kid, I watched the Shuttle on a 19" B&W TV that my first-grade teacher had
< Eule> so this is *fucking amazing*
< CO2> oh come on Eule
< CO2> it's not exactly rocket science

#10167 (+7/-0)
< Bucket> you don't have genitalia
<@barometz> Bucket: what was that?
< Bucket> barometz: That was 'you' (#68336): don't have genitalia
<@barometz> Bucket: forget that
< Bucket> Okay, barometz, forgot that you don't have genitalia
<@barometz> accurate as it was when addressed to Bucket
<@creature> Bucket's last line did make me giggle.
<@barometz> <_< strictly need to know basis

#10166 (+5/-0)
<Bucket> Caffeine is puddle for foxes.
<taixzo> puddle is caffeine for cats
<taixzo> actually, that's catnip I guess
<djh> no, caffine has a very different effect to catnip
<djh> one results in bouncing off the walls, the other in rolling around like they've forgotten they have legs
<taixzo> so, one turns them into a superball, the other turns them into a bowling ball

#10164 (+9/-0)
< rcombs> BlueDragon++
< Kizul> BlueDragon++
* Kizul loads up an emulator to double-check his progress in Spyro the Dragon. ò.o "I can't remember if my DIGITAL Memory Card save files are newer, or if my PHYSICAL Memory Card save files are newer." >.>
< Bucket> furries are fun to sleep on
< BlueDragon> Well, that's 4 messages in a row to get highlighted

#10163 (+12/-0)
< puddle> "essential to the life cycle of Lesser Flamingos" if I were a Lesser Flamingo, I would take offense to that name
< puddle> "lesser than what?"
< Eule> Most flamingos are lessers, due to the high price of real estate in coastal areas
< Eule> Only a few Outright Flamingos own their nests free and clear

#10162 (+10/-0)
<alexxerth> People are going to look at me and think "Wow, he ironed his clothes, he's got his life figured out", but I know, and I can't hide the truth from myself
<alexxerth> That I tried to scratch my face with the iron in my hand
<alexxerth> And burnt my cheek

#10161 (+9/-0)
< tanuki> My ex is diabetic.
< tanuki> So yeah.
< Bucket> sorbet for everyone!!!

#10160 (+14/-0)
<Coast> the feeling you get when someone you like enjoys seeing you is reaaaaaaaally good.
<diogenes> Coast: you got a dog?

#10159 (+8/-0)
< Ferris> holy shit the sun just came out for the first time today and lit up my room ha
<@barometz> not one to toot my own horn much but two feathers in my cap neatly fixed what started out as a stressful day. Also I'm pretty amused I can apparently learn about neurology fast enough to appear competent.
* Walther puts a self-tooting horn in Bucket
* Bucket is now carrying a self-tooting horn, but dropped bad weather.

#10157 (+2/-0)
<Skyblaze> ferret: Can I have fun?
<flyingferret> Yes, absolutely.
<Skyblaze> ferret: But only if it's healthy?
<flyingferret> Certainly.
<Skyblaze> ferret: Are you my mother?
<flyingferret> Certainly.
<Skyblaze> O_O

#10156 (+9/-0)
<Skyblaze> The audio cables around my room seem to make an antenna
<@IceKarma> of course they do
* @IceKarma hands Skyblaze some ferrite chokes
<@IceKarma> I assume you know what to do with those =P
* Skyblaze chokes on ferret
<Rena> that is not what the ferret is for
<Skyblaze> ferret: Are you here to be choked on?
<flyingferret> Good lord, no.

#10155 (+9/-1)
<phyphor> yano: did I tell you about Doug McDonald?
<yano> phyphor: nope?
<phyphor> He was a farmer, who used to love his farming machinery, went to trade shows, had posters up on his wall
<phyphor> used to make sure his favourite one was kept polished and well maintained
<phyphor> but one day he fell off while driving to his fields and it put him right off
<phyphor> anyway, he was in the village pub one day when there was a fire in the kitchen
<phyphor> and it was billowing great huge plumes of black smoke
<phyphor> thick and nasty and horrible, and all of the other people in the pub were spluttering and coughing, and they couldn't get out
<phyphor> the situation was *terrible*
<phyphor> so ...
<phyphor> Doug went in to the kitchen, inhaled, sharply, and deeply and ...
<phyphor> all of the smoke went away
<phyphor> everyone was able to get out safely ...
<phyphor> y'see
<phyphor> Doug
<phyphor> he was an ex-tractor fan

#10154 (+12/-0)
< XMPPwocky> if RMS gets malware will he request the source code
<@Stereo> i imagine he won't get any that's not open source
< Martin> XMPPwocky: because he considers anything without source code "malware"
< XMPPwocky> "your files have been encrypted with our proprietary algorithm! pay us $400 in the next 7 days for a FOSS implementation you can run in good conscience"

#10153 (+24/-0)
<@shoofle> Shrdlu: i know we've got lexical scope, where the variables you can access are determined by where you're defined, and dynamic scope, where your scope is determined by where you're called
<@shoofle> Shrdlu: I propose a language where scope is determined by the smallest scope that contains both the block where a function is defined *and* the block where the function is called
<@shoofle> Shrdlu: essentially drawing a loop AROUND the scopes that will contian both
<@shoofle> Shrdlu: periscope!
<@Shrdlu> shoofle: with that in mind, I propose to rename lexical scope
<@Shrdlu> shoofle: from the point of view of the call site, lexical scope is a way of adopting a scope *further away* than usual, so it should be called telescope
<@shoofle> Shrdlu: my new programming language features, for the sake of maximum flexibility, scoping which changes rules every 2pi seconds, which i wwill be referring to as oscilloscope henceforth
<@Shrdlu> shoofle: let me introduce you to my new programming language, whose syntax is simplified by the notion that the scope should not be large enough to contain any data
<@Shrdlu> or "microscope"
<@relsqui> Shrdlu: I've forked your project and am experimenting with a version where scope only references the lines immediately to either side of the one you're invoking it on
<@relsqui> Shrdlu: I've tentatively named it laparoscope
<@Shrdlu> relsqui: I've had to make a fundamental breakthrough in language design in order to tell you where to shove it
<@Shrdlu> relsqui: see my upcoming paper on endoscope

#10152 (+23/-1)
<@Shrdlu> also we had the best idea
<@Shrdlu> Twitch Serves HTTP
<@relsqui> omfg
<@Shrdlu> right???
<@relsqui> so you just, what, hit a webpage?
<@Shrdlu> yeah
<@relsqui> and get ...
<@relsqui> mangled headers
<@Shrdlu> well, no
<@Shrdlu> almost all the time you get a 500 because we're serving a different request right now
<@Shrdlu> *but* if you're lucky then yes you get mangled headers

#10151 (+16/-0)
<~snark> google has graduated from understanding my needlessly vague queries to actively correcting them. "What's that 70's noir movie where the narrator is dead in a swimming pool" "Sunset Boulevard (film) is a 1950 film. Missing: 70's"
<~snark> the "70's" is in snarky strikethrough just to drum home how wrong I was
<~snark> and yes that is the thing I was thinking of. In my defense I've never actually watched it

#10149 (+26/-1)
<PacifistDalek> Ok all, story time.
<PacifistDalek> My DVD drive stopped working about two months back. I have a loose sata cable plug on my motherboard so I thought that might be the culprit
<PacifistDalek> after opening it up and fiddling around with the cables, nothing changed. Figuring that the drive was dead and lacking money, I have left it alone since then.
<PacifistDalek> Reading about the Manson Family today, and discovering that Helter Skelter is a name in the UK for a carnival ride, I got the hankering to play some Rollercoaster Tycoon, as one does.
<PacifistDalek> So, I was trying to get a virtual disc drive going on my computer, so that I could mount the ISO file I have of Rollercoaster Tycoon Deluxe
<PacifistDalek> I used to use a program called Daemon Tools to do this, but their newest version is no longer free, so I went looking for open source alternatives. The one I found that looked good and suuuuper simple...didn't work. Like, it didn't make a virtual disc drive appear, tho it would make the "plug in device" sound when I tried to run the ISO file through it.
<PacifistDalek> I figured "oh well" and moved on to another program. Then another. None of them worked! I then started to wonder if this was related to my physical DVD drive's failure to work anymore. So I opened up the Device Manager, and sure enough, it had an error exclamation mark over my physical disk drive.
<PacifistDalek> (this is of course something that I should have checked two months ago when this problem first cropped up with my disc drive)
<PacifistDalek> So first I uninstalled the virtual disc drive programs, then I uninstalled and reinstalled the DVD driver. That still didn't work. I went to a sketchy looking website and manually downloaded the driver, no luck there either.
<PacifistDalek> So i clicked over to the error message and actually read it instead of skipping past it :P It said that there was a problem with the regsitry. I googled the error code, found a bunch of sites with the same instructions to go into the registry and delete two corrupted entries in the DVD drive section. I restarted the computer, BOOM! Disc drive works!
<PacifistDalek> EXCEPT
<Bucket> Sexcept
<PacifistDalek> It says that it has Roller Coaster Tycoon in the physical disc drive. I right click and hit eject, sure enough, the disc drive pops open. When I push it back in to my computer (from my sitting position at my desk), after a moment it pops back up as saying Roller Coaster Tycoon is in the disc drive.
<PacifistDalek> I try everything I can to get it out. I google things, find some very complex instructions related to other virtual drive programs I didn't try. I reinstall every virtual disc drive (they all work now that the registry is fixed!) but no dice, they just create new virtual disc drives.
<PacifistDalek> I get annoyed and lament my problem to my brother. He suggests putting a physical disc in the physical drive, to see if it overwrites Rollercoaster Tycoon
<PacifistDalek> I go to try this...aaaaand dicsover that there's already a disc in the physical drive.
<PacifistDalek> A CD
<PacifistDalek> of Rollercoaster Tycoon.
<PacifistDalek> *FIN*
<enometh> *applause*

#10148 (+15/-0)
<@relsqui> Glench: hey whatever happened to your treads-for-everything thing?
<@relsqui> I have a tiny computer that wants feet
<@relsqui> so I can release it on my unsuspecting colleagues
<@Glench> relsqui: faaailed
<@relsqui> aw
<@schwal> relsqui: most computers have rubber feet.
<@relsqui> no it needs to be mobile
<@relsqui> it already has a battery and a speaker
<@relsqui> with wheels and a neural net it will be unstoppable
<@relsqui> with wheels and a neural net and googly eyes it will be unstoppable AND ADORABLE

#10147 (+7/-1)
<@zetlen> Stereo: your PM looks like a hot boyfriend from 1997, maybe a friends episode boyfriend maybe
<@schwal> It took me a second to realize you meant Prime Minister there.
<@Shrdlu> ambiguous two-letter acronyms? PM Stereo

#10146 (+16/-0)
< alexxerth> I hate this hand soap
< alexxerth> It smells like candy
< alexxerth> But it doesn't taste anything like candy
< alexxerth> It might be the worst tasting hand soap I've had actually

#10145 (+6/-1)
<phyphor> I am more bothered by how the noble and traditional game of Quidditch got hastily updated when it was realised how bad it was
<@schwal> phyphor: Cricket fan? ;p

#10144 (+14/-0)
<rpenguin> I suggest you build a statue of me and surround it with sweet smelling flowers and charge admission to view it.
<Anti_Spiral> I already have.
<@barometz> Anti_Spiral: did you get the rights to rpenguin's likeness?
<Anti_Spiral> I put a fake moustache and claimed it was someone else
<@barometz> Counts as hair use, that.

#10142 (+15/-0)
<tanuki> BTW, the universal sign of "female character" in animation is eyelashes and/or a bow.
<Jax184> tanuki: don't forget boobs
<tanuki> Jax184: Minnie Mouse has no boobs, AFAICT.
<Jax184> tanuki: you haven't been on the websites I have
<nicolas17> o.O

#10141 (+6/-10)
<bassgoon> whenever we go out
<Bucket> The people always /shout
<bassgoon> there goes john jacob jingleheimer schmidt
<Bucket> Oh, not again! Save me someone! HELP!

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