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#10138 (+7/-2)
<@zetlen> viwy20kp
<@relsqui> RIP that password
<@zetlen> RIP my window focus on vim
<@relsqui> oh, lol

#10137 (+0/-7)
* WassPord puts lentokonesuihkuturbiinimoottoriapumekaanikkoaliupserioppilas in bucket
* Bucket is now carrying lentokonesuihkuturbiinimoottoriapumekaanikkoaliupserioppilas, but dropped a bad action movie.
<jglauche> is that actually a word?
<WassPord> "airplane jet turbine engine auxiliary mechanic non-commissioned officer student"
<WassPord> compound words ftw

#10136 (+12/-0)
< PovAddict> "write code assuming the next person that will maintain it will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live"
<@barometz> PovAddict: a) stop writing code b) call the police? :P

#10135 (+5/-1)
<@relsqui> wow that is the worst-tasting toothpaste I've ever used
<@bk> relsqui: that was hemorrhoid cream!
<@relsqui> with extra whitening action?
<@bk> relsqui: people are into that bleached anus look nowadays

#10134 (+12/-0)
<@zetlen> i'm learning emacs
<@zetlen> because i don't want my tools to get in the way while i learn clojure
<@zetlen> which i'm learning because i finally have something interesting i want to do that requires shared memory and multiple cores
<@relsqui> zetlen: and later you can knit the yak hair into a meta-key cozy
<@zetlen> relsqui: it's GNU/yak hair but yes

#10133 (+13/-0)
< XMPPwocky> never fight a man equipped with meat-based puns
< XMPPwocky> the steaks are just too high
< hooloo> The steaks have been dosed with LSD.
<@snark> they used a bulldoser

#10132 (+2/-0)
<puddle> Are any ebook privateers more experienced in the way the currents flow than I willing to help me ship out my cargo to sea
<PacifistDalek> puddle: YOU LOOKING FOR SOME WAREZ?
<puddle> ssssh keep it down. Pegleg Pete has flashbacks to the day his ship was wrecked by the Warez Whale, and Cap'n just doesn't run things the same when he remembers it

#10131 (+9/-0)
< Walrushead> how did Mr. Ed move his mouth in the TV show?
< Walrushead> obviously there was a voice actor
< XanT> They filmed a real talking horse then dubbed over it.

#10130 (+5/-0)
* bk cuts a hole in Bucket
* Bucket leaks out beer
* bk puts a tap in Bucket
* Bucket now contains a tap.
<@bk> that's... not what I meant, but okay.

#10129 (+4/-0)
< arble> I woke up before my alarm but not sufficiently early that I can go back to sleep before it goes
< arble> I bear a heavy cross
* relsqui pats arble sympathetically
< arble> life is suffering ;_;

#10127 (+13/-0)
< feriority> I think I accidentally walked through a horror movie accidentally
<@relsqui> ???
< feriority> I took a (really tiny, saves a block) shortcut walking home from a friend's place... a light on the street is flickering, and then I pass an alley so there's the whooshy wind sound, and then I swear I can hear "it's a small world" playing on pipes or something
<@relsqui> holy shit
< feriority> I assume it was some kid practicing on their recorder with an open window or something
< feriority> but it was creepy as hell
<@relsqui> are ... are you okay
< feriority> well I don't *think* I'm haunted
< feriority> but now that I've told you all the story, if a horror monster kills me they're probably going for you next... I should have thought of that before I said anything
<~snark> feriority: it's okay, on the typical creepiness meter, that rates as ominous foreshadowing. You've got about a week until you die
< feriority> that's not so bad then
< feriority> I have time to buy new shoes

#10126 (+6/-1)
< cnf> https://www.reddit.com/r/gonewild+asiansgonewild+petitegonewild+gwnerdy+dykesgonewild << NSFW
<@relsqui> I know we say you should always label nsfw no matter how obvious it is
<@relsqui> but that one is really hilariously obvious

#10124 (+45/-0)
XMPPwocky: My own https://xkcd.com/349/ story. Yesterday, I worked my way from "I should try installing Qubes OS on my dual-boot" to "I have no working boot discs, no CD drive, and no OS on the actual hard drive". Today, i got to try and fix that.
XMPPwocky: The issue is, this is my only computer. so I can't make any bootable media to boot from, except I also had, tucked away in my closet, an OLPC XO-1. Aaand I couldn't find the charger.
XMPPwocky: What I could find? The hand-crank charger.
XMPPwocky: To make a long story short, I cranked through the entire download and installation of an Ubuntu liveCD.
XMPPwocky: would not recommend

#10121 (+20/-0)
<@Akrasia> it's a really good thing i proof read everything i type in to my phone
<@Akrasia> it has now stopped recognizing "correctly" as a word, and autocorrects it to "for rectal"
<~snark> sounds like it's functioning for rectal
<@Akrasia> i remember why we keep you around snark
<~snark> ...for rectal? o_O

#10119 (+7/-2)
<alexxerth> We need a bot that can "get" jokes
* @Shrdlu gives Bucket jokes
* Bucket is now carrying jokes, but dropped undefined behaviour.

#10117 (+13/-1)
<@Stereo> waterspouts are the ocean giving the sky a thumbs up
<@Randall> Stereo: I was so disappointed to realize that waterspouts weren't actually full of solid water
<@sheepbat> of course
<@sheepbat> water is liquid, silly

#10116 (+18/-1)
<Caffeine> IceKarma: I concur.
<Bucket> Seriously, why don't you people just say 'I agree'
<alexxerth> I agree
<Bucket> Well, you're wrong.

#10114 (+7/-0)
<coxj2000> Bucket, do you take this denizen to be your lawfully wedded spouse?
-*- Bucket [~bucket@carabiner.peeron.com] has quit [Connection reset by peer]
<coxj2000> it worked in PM
<SpicyLemon> Besides, I don't really see bucket as the type to settle down.
<Brot> well, that's an interesting response.

#10113 (+24/-0)
<zippers> Mary had a little lamb. She tied it to a pylon. 10,000 volts went up its leg, and turned its wool to nylon.
<zippers> Mary had a little lamb. She also had a bear. I've often seen her little lamb. I've never seen her bare.
<zippers> Mary had a little lamb. She also had a goat. I've poked her little lamb. But never poke the goat.
billygoat sets ban on *!peterb@*.hinet-ip.hinet.net
billygoat has kicked zippers from #xkcd (Goat-ed)

#10112 (+8/-0)
<Bucket> It may be possible to generate quantum black holes given a sufficiently high velocity can of ravioli.
<Ahrotahntee> bucket is giving a whole new meaning to spaghettification

#10111 (+2/-0)
< CO2> Dutch police has been protesting for months because they want a better salary
< CO2> now they say that as their next demonstration they're going to block the tour de france as it passes through holland
< CO2> poop is going to hit the windmill.

#10110 (+11/-0)
<@IceKarma> the under the hood part doesn't matter, because the experience should hide it
<@IceKarma> but they're letting implementation details leak out on you because they were lazy
< Snowyowl> right, that's the important bit
< Snowyowl> your app should look impressive and flawless, not shouting "PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE SPAGHETTI CODE BEHIND THE CURTAIN"

#10109 (+7/-2)
< Bucket> how old is the universe?
< coxj2000> Like 2006

#10108 (+20/-0)
<emad> why is it assumed that the joint eubacteria + archaea cell is a combination of two super kingdoms where one engulfed the other
<emad> instead of there being one superkingdom and somehow the two groups split out
<emad> like, the archaea escaped out of the bacterial cell
<Randall> huh, I don't know!
<Randall> interesting idea!
<emad> a weeping bacterial cell, who is so proud of the child who ran away and became better than everyone
<emad> that's my new long form novella (a novel idea)
<Randall> you know, novels are actually descended from a Novella species that was engulfed by another book, possibly nonfiction
<emad> i can tell because they both have spines

#10106 (+10/-0)
<sethacria> ferret: will cygwin actually finish?
<flyingferret> Indeed.
<sethacria> YES!
<alexxerth> ferret: But will sethacria live through it?
<flyingferret> Absolutely not.
<sethacria> OH NO
<alexxerth> Sorry man
<sethacria> Just as ferret said that: "Download Incomplete. Try again?"
<sethacria> I hate this world
<Sapphire> goodnight sweet prince
<Bucket> Nighty night, don't let the bed-bugs bite... or the worms...

#10104 (+15/-0)
< Bucket> friends don't let friends use Comic Sans MS
< permagreen> Also don't make the mistake of using cosmic sans either. It sounds cool, but it makes your mind explode.
< binky> just you wait, comic sans will loop back around into being cool in a few years
< binky> everything comes full circle. except neon fanny packs.
< Ashley> and minecraft
< Ashley> minecraft comes full square

#10103 (+7/-0)
alexxerth: Sometimes I confuse Nickleback with Nirvana
alexxerth: This has never been a good thing.

#10102 (+25/-0)
<@DaBigCheez> I, too, am a burrito
<@benley> ceci n'est pas une burrito
<@Shrdlu> surely un burrito
<@relsqui> oui, mais ne m'appelle pas shirley

#10100 (+8/-0)
-!- Topic for #xkcd: boycott sourceforge, http://seclists.org/nmap-dev/2015/q2/194 | ...
-!- relsqui changed the topic of #xkcd to: who was still using sourceforge? | ...
< binky> relsqui: TortoiseSVN is using sourceforge still :p
< etu> Who uses SVN? :D

#10099 (+10/-0)
<@Stereo> what's texas's favorite vegetable
< OracleCarbon> Stereo: Beef

#10098 (+20/-0)
<@relsqui> "Assume Halt_TM is decidable. Let R [be the Turing Machine that] decide[s] it." life is so much easier in proofs by contradiction
<@Shrdlu> relsqui: well, of course it is
<@Shrdlu> relsqui: I mean, can you imagine if it weren't?

#10097 (+9/-1)
<Snowyowl> binky, source?
<binky> The Internet
<Bucket> internet is tragically undercited

#10096 (+10/-0)
< XMPPwocky> "Have you heard? Apple is celebrating the taking over of BEATs and we are offering Apple iPhone 6 rewards to our customers worldwide.Get your exclusive reward today by contacting our office immediately through our new email given in bracket. (appleoffer@aol.com )
< XMPPwocky> "
< XMPPwocky> gosh seems suspicious
< XMPPwocky> ---
< XMPPwocky> This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software.
< XMPPwocky> http://www.avast.com
< XMPPwocky> oh
< XMPPwocky> okay
<@relsqui> hahaha
<@relsqui> awesome
< Bucket> Looks fake.

#10095 (+9/-0)
<tanuki> 100kg of tungsten is a cube about 17cm to a side.
<tanuki> Or approximately 2-3 cm in diameter by a meter long
<tanuki> Tungsten is some dense shit.
<Snowyowl> Is that what we look for in a good orbital projectile? Density?
<tanuki> Among other things.
<thomas> high melting points are also a must
<thomas> tungsten is a good candidate because it won't melt into a thin slurry on the way down
<Snowyowl> ah, so gold would not make a good Rod From God
<Snowyowl> pity, I was looking forward to designing the most bling weapon of mass destruction ever

#10094 (+15/-0)
< Lisimba> Why is it called microphone? What's the non-micro version?
<@Shrdlu> Lisimba: a megaphone, obviously
<@Shrdlu> Lisimba: if you have one in between, that's just a phone

#10093 (+15/-0)
<@zetlen> uh what the fuck, two weird fucking faces
<@zetlen> http://icons.wxug.com/hurricane/2015/hou-mcs-400px.jpg
<@Randall> yeah
<@Randall> I almost linked that here so relsqui could remind us how to spell the word for when you see faces in everything
<@Randall> for some reason I assume that word is firmly in relsqui's wheelhouse
<@relsqui> man you're half right, I know the word but I absolutely don't know how to spell it
<@Randall> Pareidolia
<@Randall> man, based on the vowel-to-consonant ratio there, if that only started with a vowel, and maybe swapped out the plosive for something softer, it could be a really hot baby name right now
<@relsqui> just drop the p altoether
<@relsqui> Areidolia
<@zetlen> that's when you see nipples in everything

#10092 (+6/-0)
<@Froward> this is a 1883 solid form, commissioned by ullsyes grant upon the death of his wife
<@Froward> that's why the knocker is a frowny face, that's her likeness
<@Aaeriele> it's a hard knock wife

#10091 (+11/-0)
<shro> so I made a tip calculator web app
<shro> and then I went to a wedding
<shro> and at the wedding was an apple employee in the app marketing department
<shro> who told me that my app could definitely be featured if I came up with a different name
<@barometz> was it "just the tip"? :P
<shro> YES
<shro> IT WAS

#10090 (+20/-0)
* XMPPwocky has changed the topic to: opic is cut off, but it actually isn't | <3 | bee ptsd (it rhymes) | WIKIPEDIA BREATH by Jethro Tull (disambiguation) | It's story time hour in #xkcd | Told my sister about xkcd, now she won't leave the PC | https://youtu.be/08m--dKAZ4A | Now you're thinking with portals: it seems like the t

#10089 (+11/-0)
<Bucket> * yazdmich doesn't want to see Glench's giant ass-robot
<BytesAndCoffee> http://i.imgur.com/VQfXq6x.jpg

#10088 (+12/-0)
<snark> you can imagine the structure of the earth as being a little like a flaming marshmallow
<snark> I don't know that it's useful to imagine that, but you can

#10087 (+9/-0)
<goodger> now I need to find some computer desks that look solid enough to say 'we can't really move these out of the way, mum, you'll have to get a hotel' but are actually moveable for invited guests
<workcoat> You are a horrible person <3

#10086 (+9/-1)
< binky> Kliment: sometimes there isn't one word for something
< binky> Kliment: that's why writers exist
< binky> otherwise we'd just employ lexicographers
<@relsqui> binky: nicely said
<@relsqui> uh
<@relsqui> go figure

#10085 (+24/-0)
< Walther> also, can we just agree that we have an amazing community here, people tend to understand each others' viewpoints even if not necessarily agreeing?
< OracleCarbon> Walther: No
< OracleCarbon> But I understand what you mean

#10084 (+2/-5)
<bhuddah> who's the evil op in charge right now?
<@schwal> bhuddah: billygoat.
<Bucket> Sheep go to Heaven, goats go to Hell...

#10083 (+3/-4)
* Bucket drops the manual and takes +1 comon sense.

#10082 (+15/-0)
< alexxerth> Yo #xkcd, I need cooking help
< rtmiu> chili powder
< Ashley> order pizza
< alexxerth> When boiling chopped potatoes for mashed potatos
< alexxerth> I know I put in some kind of oil
< alexxerth> But I don't remember which kind
< alexxerth> Olive? Vegetable? Canola?
< rtmiu> baby
< ten> 40 weight
< alSeen> crude
< alSeen> sardine
* rtmiu doesn't know, but would use olive
< alexxerth> Why do I ask you people for help.
< alexxerth> I googled it, it was olive oil.
< rtmiu> whoo guessed right

#10080 (+10/-4)
<cheese> mmm
<binky> hello cheese, this is a safe place for you
<cheese> binky: in what way?
<permagreen> Everyone here is lactose intolerant

#10079 (+27/-0)
<OracleCarbon> #xkcd, edge brownies or middle brownies?
<@schwal> edge
<Palomides> middle
<OracleCarbon> middle
<@Stereo> edge
<@Stereo> we have now textually constructed a brownie pan

#10078 (+9/-1)
<Bucket> http://www.xkcdb.com/?168
<@schwal> ^note, that may have actually been Eric S. Raymond. I hear he showed up in here for like a week and thoroughly confused many people in that time.
<XMPPwocky> ahahaah holy shit
<permagreen> Wow, that would be amazing if true
<tanuki> Either that was ESR or a *damn* good impression.
<tanuki> I was an ESR fanboy for a few years... then I realized just how bugfuck he is. (This occurred shortly after 9/11.)
<permagreen> Just looking at the quote I assumed esr was some random 15 year old that had wandered into the channel
<@schwal> I think that's how most of the OSS community views him.
<@schwal> >_>

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