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#9864 (+0/-0)
<~aliaras> mfw improving the reference solution for a performance tuning class: :33333
< tt> :D
< tt> aliaras: do you feel relsqui-smug?
<~aliaras> tt: I feel most variants of smug
<@relsqui> rofl
<@relsqui> am I the reference-smug?
<~aliaras> relsqui: and how does that make you feel? :P
<@relsqui> aliaras: >___>

#9863 (+1/-0)
* neoinr changes topic to 'EFF needs your help, debs: https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2014/04/tech-volunteers-eff-needs-your-help | [snip]'
<neoinr> erm
* neoinr changes topic to 'EFF needs your help, devs: https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2014/04/tech-volunteers-eff-needs-your-help | [snip]'
<rtmiu> web + dev = deb
<@IceKarma> rtmiu, not quite... I think web + dev = dweeb ;33

#9861 (+5/-0)
<rophl> ugh, creme eggs are so unpleasant
<rophl> that liquidy stuff just tasted like diabetes
<rtmiu> rophl: it depends if you're ready for it or not
<rtmiu> rophl: were you prepared for the creamy explosion?
<rophl> I was ready, it was just gross
<rophl> plus it's just so messy, eating a creme egg is like getting hit with a candyland cumshot
dzamie (~dzamie@hide-97D9E912.phlapa.fios.verizon.net) has joined #xkcd
<rtmiu> rophl: my point regarding the *creamy explosion*
<dzamie> 'morning #xkcd
<rtmiu> dzamie: morning
<dzamie> rtmiu: I joined at the wrong time, didn't I?
<LLCoolDavie> It's not what you think it is, dzamie
<LLCoolDavie> we are talking about male orgasms
<dzamie> Oh, okay
<dzamie> I thought it was a pastry accident

#9859 (+9/-0)
<+Armadi> we're getting snow right now, in the middle of april
<+Armadi> I went outside when it started and bugged the neighbors about building a snowman
<+TheOtherRift> Armadi: in "do you want to build a snowman" style?
<+TheOtherRift> i.e. frozen
<+Armadi> I tried to, but I'm a horrible singer so I ended up singing eye of the tiger
<+TheOtherRift> how do you get eye of the tiger from do you want to build a snowman
<+Armadi> I kinda forgot the tune of the snowman song and it started going to the tune of the eye of the tiger
<+Armadi> then I slowly faded out and started singing the real words
<+goodger> do you want/ to build a snowman/ it's the chill of the night/ risin' up from the gravel of the driveway/ and the last thing you add is this old raggedy hat/ and he's watchin' us all with the eyeeyeyeye of the snowman~

#9858 (+6/-0)
<@Akrasia> "what did you have for dinner" "a sandwich" "oh good, good, i was worried you were just gonna sit in your underwear all night eating mac&cheese straight out of the pot" "ha, ha, ha...."
< fantasyprone> ...you put mac and cheese on a sandwich?
<@Akrasia> it's not as bad as you'd think

#9856 (+9/-0)
<@relsqui> oh man I am full of pasta and something more closely resembling human
<@Shrdlu> relsqui: um
<@relsqui> Shrdlu: do you need me to write the parens in for you
<@Shrdlu> not at all
<@Shrdlu> but I do need your recipe

#9853 (+3/-4)
<PlotCitizen> Look I am now fluent in Russian
<PlotCitizen> J'ai un examen en français lundi prochain

#9852 (+3/-1)
<Lisimba> Blocky lava?
<Lisimba> Now I want to play minecraft.
<Lisimba> Wait, I already *am* playing minecraft.

#9848 (+5/-0)
@Lhyzz> I get enough America when I leave NYC
<@snark> billygoat: stopword america
<@billygoat> Okay, next person to say 'america' gets kickbanned.
* billygoat sets mode +b *!lhyzz@*.peeron.com for #xkcd
* Lhyzz was kicked by billygoat (~billygoat@carabiner.peeron.com) Reason (Jackpot!!!)
<Bucket> POW, right in the kisser
<@snark> that was the fastest stopword trigger ever

#9847 (+4/-0)
<@Lhyzz> I just put something into an empty bag in order to give it something useful to do. Bad sign?
<@snark> job programs are not the solution
<@Stereo> rebagilitation
<@Lhyzz> I suppose I should be educating the bag and investing in its community?
<@snark> that might be a better long term approach
<@Lhyzz> So how does one invest in the community of 'the middle of my bedroom floor'?
<@snark> I guess toss like clothes and wrappers and such at it? that is my usual policy

#9845 (+7/-0)
<@snark> captain america has the benefit of being a dude nobody gives a shit about. I bet he has a complex backstory and interactions of some kind, but most of the audience has no idea
<@Akrasia> his complex backstory is that he was a plucky kid who got poked with a needle and became a strong plucky kid
<@Akrasia> and then he punched hitler in the face

#9844 (+3/-1)
-Sartaglo puts The0x539 in Bucket
-Bucket hands Sartaglo a nose ring in exchange for The0x539
-The0x539 puts Sartaglo in Bucket
-Bucket hands The0x539 The0x539 in exchange for Sartaglo

#9843 (+5/-0)
cSmith: Can bucket even mate?
cSmith: I wonder.....
Bucket: How *did* that get up in there?

#9840 (+12/-0)
<barometz> Bucket: literal what gender is Bucket
* Bucket has quit (Client exited)

#9839 (+20/-0)
** Aaeriele sets mode(s) -b *!Poinko@*.kiwiirc.com
** Aaeriele sets mode(s) +b #xkcd!*@*
(@Aaeriele) er
** Aaeriele sets mode(s) -b #xkcd!*@*
(GreenWolf) Did you just ban everyone?
(tomatosalad) yes.
(@snark) to be fair they deserved it

#9836 (+3/-1)
-> legba joined
<legba> yo
<Lisimba> yo
<spenguin> yo
<legba> ah
<- legba quit

#9835 (+7/-0)
== Radnall [theme@hide-B3A1C0D6.clients.kiwiirc.com] has joined
<Radnall> hi
<njsg> Radnall: hi theme
== Radnall is now known as theme
<theme> njsg: how did you know that?

#9833 (+6/-5)
<Freudian> good afternoon
<Bucket> But it's midmorning!
<Freudian> no fuck you bucket
<Freudian> this is the one time I got the time period right when saying hello
<Freudian> you do not get to correct me
<Freudian> you piece of shit bot

#9830 (+5/-1)
* Caffeine looks at prices for lazor-cut metal
* turtlework frowns at Caffeine's spelling
<Caffeine> LAZORZ

#9826 (+10/-0)
<Althir> Shitshitshti
<Althir> *Shitshitshit
<ladymondegreen> did you just correct a swearing typo althir?
<Althir> I did indeed.
* ladymondegreen puts althir's pendant on a crown and declares him king of the pedants
<Althir> A pedant pendant! I love it!
* Althir hugs ladymondegreen

#9825 (+8/-0)
< XanT> Basically all I am wary of is the fact that the boards Ive hung around run by physics professors are littered with arm chair physicists saying 'This is how I reckon it works.' they are all invariably wrong and often corrected, but many of them refuse to ever admit it. It gets even more dangerous when others start following there line of thinking.
< XanT> Poor quantum physics has suffered terribly from this kind of thing in the arm chair physics arena.
< logic> The physics of armchairs is relatively simple compared with quantum physics and the theory involved does not always directly translate
< logic> it leads to many misconceptions from those who do armchair physics

#9824 (+10/-0)
<@barometz> Things on Youtube that never get old: "Disclaimer: All rights belong to the respective copyright owners. This video is purely for entertainment."
<The0x539> riiiight
<njsg> ...
<Bucket> [Rick Astley shifts uncomfortably.]

#9823 (+8/-0)
<~sean> its a small community hospital.
<~sean> That's my hospital's excuse for anything wrong
<~sean> "This food is terrible" "Eh, well, it's a small community hospital"
<~sean> "The nurses always seem too busy for me" "Eh, it's a small community hospital"
<~sean> "Doc, I think you left your scapel inside my kidney" "Eh, small community hospital"

#9820 (+11/-0)
<arble> excellent, created an android app that gives me a textbox and a button
<arble> brb becoming famous and retiring early

#9810 (+5/-1)
<yazdmich> rcombs: my main point: flimsy security is better than none
<rcombs> yazdmich: that is highly debatable
<asarkar> I don't think anyone in here is going to agree with that
<rcombs> yazdmich: false sense of security and all
<The0x539> good luck, I'm behind seven proxies
<yazdmich> The0x539: i'll just write a GUI in VB to track your IP
<The0x539> good luck, each of my proxies is behind seven proxies
<yazdmich> The0x539: i have backdoor access to every backbone
<rcombs> yazdmich: what are you, the NSA?
yazdmich -> Not_An_NSA_Agent
<Not_An_NSA_Agent> no

#9809 (+25/-0)
<taixzo> so I was reading this wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravity_drag
<taixzo> and I encountered this: "For instance, the way to maximize acceleration is to thrust straight downward; however, thrusting downward is clearly not a viable course of action for a rocket intending to reach orbit.[citation needed]"

#9805 (+6/-0)
<@relsqui> wow it's like the battle of the assholes in here right now
<@relsqui> who can be more condescending and dismissive?
<teareal> I'm almost positive i can
<Z3r0> relsqui: pretty sure teareal is winning that one
<teareal> ^
<teareal> see?
<@relsqui> teareal: stop trying.
<@relsqui> actually; no.
<@relsqui> stop succeeding.

#9804 (+10/-1)
<Z3r0> You dont just PXE boot and can copy things
<njsg> You don't just PXE boot into mordor
<njsg> mordor uses token ring
<njsg> you need a special boot image that can provide a ring

#9802 (+11/-2)
<@barometz> then WHAT'S YOUR ISSUE
<theme> bucket remember barometz issue
<theme> bucket, remember barometz issue
<Bucket> Okay, theme, remembering "then WHAT'S YOUR ISSUE".
<@barometz> Bucket: forget that
<Bucket> Okay, barometz, forgot that barometz quotes <reply> <barometz> then WHAT'S YOUR ISSUE
<@barometz> that's a fucking awful quote.
<theme> bucket, remember barometz awful
<Bucket> Okay, theme, remembering "that's a fucking awful quote.".
<fiveofoh> -_-

#9801 (+2/-0)
* vibhavp still waits for that day when he will have something else than instant coffee
(seven) I see your intense coffee stare, and raise you an intense mirror stare: http://imgur.com/gallery/HWHpt
(vibhavp) seven: My jimmies: [x] rustled [ ] unrustled

#9800 (+8/-0)
<Althir> I don't like baristas. One of them tried to talk me out of ordering a cup of English Breakfast once.
<@barometz> on what grounds?
<Bucket> Coffee grounds

#9798 (+13/-4)
<pygar> exit
<pygar> exit
<pygar> shit
* pygar (pygar@hide-1DD89863.dyn.iinet.net.au) Quit (Quit: leaving)

#9790 (+17/-0)
<quackgyver> Oh god, I've been confusing Bucket with Branes all this time
<Branes> I get that a lot.
<Bucket> I get that even more!

#9788 (+4/-0)
<schwal> I don't think longbows were ever a dueling weapon.
<Danjc2> schwal: they're a standard English duelling weapon
<Danjc2> we pull them out whenever we just want the historical superiority

#9786 (+11/-0)
(njsg) grawity: C code by itself is something you just translate into assembly, to be honest
(njsg) grawity: I'm not surprised that you can compile code that easily
(Kliment) njsg: That's not true at all
(Kliment) njsg: C gets translated into a whole lot of things that are not assembly
(njsg) Kliment: yes, it does, but in the end one of the common uses is to translate it into assembly
(rophl) I frequently see C code get translated into a string of expletives
(rophl) target platform: blue air

#9785 (+8/-0)
<TinFox> does anyone know what flashes of red/blue when I blink would mean?
<Francium> The cops are chasing you.

#9784 (+14/-0)
<bk> Caffeine: you generate band names at a rate of .17%
<bk> asarkar: 23/12733, or 0.18%
<snark> ooh ooh do me do me
<snark> (twss)
<bk> snark: 18/12009, or 0.15%
<Bucket> "1812009 Or 015" would be a good name for a band.

#9783 (+8/-2)
<sean> All I did was overwrite a dozen or so bytes of rom with 1s
<sean> out of THOUSANDS of bytes!
<sean> probably millions!
<mlovessxw> rewrite the same bites with 0s
<mlovessxw> see what happens
<sean> that will even it out right?
<mlovessxw> maybe
<Opiboble> sean, if not it is a small number no one should notice
<sean> http://i.imgur.com/PCs0cQ4.png i think i broked it
<sean> its only in pallet town
<sean> who needs pallet town anyway?
<mlovessxw> good point, theres nothing there
<Opiboble> See told you no one would notice!

#9780 (+44/-1)
<WassPord> well, minecraft's written in java
<WassPord> and java's memory handling strategy can generally be described in three words
<WassPord> "om nom nom"

#9772 (+43/-1)
<Science> Quite frankly I'm kinda sick of the cats
<Science> Picture of cats have exactly zero appeal to me. So seeing half a channel go "OMG CATS" is pretty annoying.
<Science> This channel isn't about looking at fucking cats
-!- Randall changed the topic of #xkcd to: This channel is about looking at fucking cats.
<Science> Ok now it's about cats
<Science> Carry on

#9771 (+10/-3)
<uuni> how long have you been on finland when you passport expires?
<Althir> More importantly, in.
* ladymondegreen gives bucket Alther the Pedant
* Bucket drops a Shadow of a doubt and takes Alther the Pedant.
<Althir> ladymondegreen: *Althir
<Althir> :D
<ladymondegreen> fuck

#9770 (+23/-0)
< lilmisschaos> I just got rolled onto, pushed to the cold part of the bed
< lilmisschaos> most of the blanket taken from me
< lilmisschaos> My leg is currently being pinned down
< Eule> lilmisschaos: use your safeword?
< lilmisschaos> Eule: ... my boyfriend is sleeping
< Oracle989> lilmisschaos: Use your safeairhorn?

#9769 (+12/-3)
* frogg rages
<frogg> yt comments are fucking BS. I can't see how to use my 'old' yt username to comment.
<Eighty> not being able to comment on youtube is a feature, not a bug

#9768 (+6/-3)
<barometz> So my mattress has had a broken spring for a while, and the end has been scratching my hip occasionally. There's a hole in the fabric, so I figured I'd put my finger in and see if I could bend it inwards or whatever
<barometz> having seen it I regret not doing this earlier because that tip looked positively lethal
<sheepbat> YOUR BED IS TRYING TO KILL YOU

#9767 (+5/-2)
< WassPord> I used a graffiti from my sister's highschool as a passphrase once
< WassPord> hvalabogudanisemotorinolaringolog
* Burstaholic adds that to his password dictionary
< Burstaholic> er, did I say that out loud
< Holzi> Burstaholic: no you did not. you typed it out
< Burstaholic> Holzi: oh, good
< Burstaholic> >.>
< Holzi> Burstaholic: you're welcome. Also: we have logs!

#9766 (+9/-3)
* ryaxnb (~ryaxnb@hide-7DA258CA.lightspeed.sntcca.sbcglobal.net) has joined #xkcd
<ryaxnb> my tiny horse
<@snark> I used to ponder the nature of comradeship
<njsg> snark: why don't you ponder anymore?
<@snark> someone divided its mystical power so that I got a share
<lingrush> guys guys I was just accepted into my first PhD program I am super relieved
<lingrush> aahhhhhhhhhh
<@snark> no no, the aahhhhhh part goes before "my tiny horse"
<@snark> you're ruining everything

#9764 (+4/-1)
<The0x539> mariokart in drivers ed
<Shirow> ...Proof that those in last place truly are the most dangerous drivers.

#9763 (+10/-1)
Nocty: yo DHCP request I'mma let you finish
Nocty: but 56k dialup was the best layer 2 establishment of all time

#9762 (+32/-0)
<Eule> When I worked with the MechE professor who did materials, I once proposed research into corrosion of thin-wall aluminum cylinders in the presence of dilute organic solvents, fine particle abrasives, and saline solutions
<Eule> He thought about it for five seconds and said "I don't think I can write a grant proposal for drinking beer on the beach"

#9761 (+2/-3)
<aposmontier> Ugh population genetics
<aposmontier> I have no problem with biology but all this stuff is so icky and squishy
<aposmontier> Math makes sense all the time
<Arm> math is teh best
<Frowardd> you ever tried to have sex with a math?
<lhynes> Yes! Oh. Sorry. Not moth, then.
<lhynes> My bad.

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